Pretty when you Cry

Danni stood on the porch for a few minutes not knowing entirely what to think. The early morning wind caught in her curly, blonde hair which as a lingering distraction, she noticed it had grown longer in the winter months she'd spent in Charlestown. That distraction only lingered for a moment. She could see the smoke of the Dragoons camp billowing on the horizon. As if on some commical cue, she saw Colonel Tavington crossing the courtyard. She pressed her cold hands against her face. It was hot and the cold in her hands quickly gave way to the heat on her face, cooling it down just enough. Again, she played the events of the prior night over in her head.

She chose to storm out of the parlor with no particular direction in mind. It was late and cold, but she had to leave. Danni was too furious to be cival to even the dog. She went into the garden in search of some place to have her tantrum. Yet again, he was going away, and she was to remain behind—yet again. She hated staying behind. Didn't he realize it wasn't healthy for her? She wouldn't maintain weight. She would go up incredibly high, feel disgusting, plummet to a sickly weight, feel disgusting and then begin again. She never felt secure without him there to even gently put a hand on the small of her back, touch her shoulder—secure her.

Danni wrapped her arms around herself in a vain attempt to warm herself up, and maybe find that connection she longed for. She felt completely alone there in the garden. When he was gone, that lonely feeling never went away actually. This is why Danni hated relationships. She depended so much on the other person to validate and secure her that when they left, she was destitute, emotional, and uncontrollable. Finally, unable to hold her despair in any more she sank to a bench and just began crying. At first, she tried to control it, but it would not be controlled so easily. The tears raged like a torrent finally streaming down her cheeks.

It only took a few minutes for her to stop crying,. Danni never cried for long. By the time he entered the clearing, she was brushing her fingers through her hair, trying to soothe herself. It felt like a fool's errand. Even Colonel William Tavington knew that she would only come back when she was ready. "Miss Davis," the Colonel said. Danni stopped and sucked in a breath.

Of course it would be him. Of all the rotten luck. "Yes, Colonel Tavington?" She replied with an ill conceived attempt to hide her red face, or even redder, swollen eyes. He looked at her for a minute, but the red face or eyes made no difference to him. That wasn't what got his attention; it was the black streaks of coal smeared down her face from the make-shift eye liner she used. A tell-tale sign that she had been crying.

"They are inquiring after at the house, especially Commodore Davenport. He's quite worried about your state." He responded crossing the space and standing in front of her.

Danni scoffed and looked away. Her long dark eyelashes still glittered in the pale light with fresh tears. Another tell-tale sign she'd been crying. As heartless as Tavington was, he didn't like it when women cried. It made him feel impotent, something he was sure he was not. His mother cried a lot, but only when his father—Tavington quickly quenched those memories and returned to the emotional blonde in front of him.

"Well why doesn't he come get me himself?" She retorted

"Look, Davis, I don't know why he does not do this for himself. He's not a man. I was sent to fetch you, and I'll carry you back over my shoulder if I must." It wasn't an empty threat. He'd seen her peak and pine over this man she claimed to love. She'd just come out of a state of pining for him, only to go into another one. She was gossamer thin, and it would be nothing to him to sling her over his shoulder, like a sack of flour and deposit her in front of the Commodore. It would be quiet pleasant, in fact to see the shocked look on everyone's face. Tavington waited for her to give in, but she did not. Her reaction to the statement was unexpected.

Danni stood up completely straight in a defensive stance, her dark brown eyes squinting slightly at Tavington, and her lips purse in indignation.

"Go ahead, colonel, take me up there I know you want to." She faultered momentarily, and said "at least you're willing to touch me." The meaning of what she said wasn't lost on him. He saw it there for that moment, the vulnerability and frailty of Davis's relationship with the commodore. She claimed it was a match in perfection, but he saw it was a match in rejection. Danni quickly realized her mistake and tried to focus him on something else. "Unless you're suddenly the Commodore's whelp."

Tavington leaned back and leveled his jaw. He regarded Danni for a moment, noticing how brilliant her eyes seemed. They were considerably red though, it only seemed to add to her. Tavington leaned forward into her face. "Don't tempt me."

Danni held her stance and squared off with him. Her body needed some sort of contact, the tension that was welling up in her stomach as bile leaked into it needed somewhere to go. She searched Tavington's eyes, then his whole face. Finally, she rested on his mouth. She lacked inhibitions and for one moment she had to reach out to someone. Danni closed the gap in between them quickly. Her mouth covered his, and caught his thinner bottom lip in between her teeth. At first, Tavington was surprised, but his surprise quickly gave way to the action at hand. He responded favorably controlling the kiss, curling his hands in the blonde curls, drawing her into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

For that moment, two of the most disconnected people found a connection. It wasn't a love connection, just the connection two people share when they are both outsiders looking in. For so long, Danni and William were like homeless children with their faces pressed to the glass, looking in on everyone having Christmas dinner and they weren't invited. They shared that connection.

Danni closed her eyes and allowed it to continue for a moment. James never kissed her. It was like pulling teeth with no Novocain to get him to even hold her hand. He was always the code of decorum and sometimes she just wanted to connect. That connection only lasted a minute. Her senses returned and Danni pulled back. She and William just looked at each other. He could feel her trembling against him and resisted the urge to pull her any closer.

"I'm going to go back to the house, ok?"

"Yes," he said letting go of her. Danni stepped back. She smoothed her dress and scurried away.

The next morning, Danni stood on the porch, and like every morning, Colonel Tavington came in for his morning report. He passed her, with nothing more than a curt nod. She looked forlorn and with good reason. Young women should not go around kissing men. Though, he wouldn't say that the event was entirely unpleasant. Davis knew what she was doing, much to her credit.

Danni didn't respond just touched her face and shook the nerves rattling in her body away. Colonel Tavington really didn't care. Maybe she was just prettier when she cried.

fin

No, I'm not dead, contrary to popular belief. So this story was inspired by vast's "Pretty when you cry." It was more inspired by a picture I found somewhere on deviantart also inspired by the lyrics of the song.....com/art/the-moon-gives-me-permission-131460058 there's the link to it. the blonde kinda reminded me of Danni and the dark hair Tavington though it's completely wrong for them. Anyway, as always read, enjoy or don't, but review.

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Baby Turtle.