"Desire and Ice"
A/N:
This is my entry for BritishBitches' Summer Smutvent Calendar 2009.
Summary: Canon universe, post Eclipse, pre Breaking Dawn. Edward and Bella are spending the afternoon outside while having a picnic at their meadow. Alice packs a surprise treat for Bella, and her reaction takes Edward by surprise. Rated M for a delicious lemon flavored POPSICLE.
Enjoy!
EPOV
The sun shone brightly through a rarely blue and cloudless sky. It filtered its way through a thick canvas of mossy trees, setting a green glow upon the air and on the musky forest floor. It was late May, almost June, one of the few times of year when the weather becomes pleasant in the Pacific Northwest. The air was still thick and full of moisture, but at least the sun saw fit to peek its way through the heavy clouds.
It was this change of weather which allowed me to plan my surprise for Bella. I had been wracked with guilt lately over keeping her cooped up inside, especially when the weather was so lovely. I hated the idea that Bella was somehow missing out or sacrificing the chance at a normal life in order to be with me, and it was specific examples such as this that made me realize my fears were not so far from the truth.
Although she never would have admitted it, I knew that Bella longed for the outdoors. I knew how much she loved the fresh air and sunshine, and I hated that I was the thing keeping her from them.
Alice had been the one to suggest a picnic, an idea I likely would not have come up with by myself. Granted, there were picnics in my time, but I never truly understood the appeal of them, to be honest. Force my fiancé to eat without plates or silverware, on the ground, with her hands? Not exactly my idea of romance. But Alice assured me that Bella would appreciate the thoughtful simplicity of the gesture.
There also seemed to be something else, something Alice wasn't telling me. Her sly grins and subtle hints were enough to make me curious, but I decided not to call her on it. I trusted Alice; if a picnic was truly what Bella wanted, then a picnic she would get.
Which brings us to the present, with Bella and I walking hand-in-hand along the forest's mossy greens and ferns. I generally carried her on my back and ran at vampire speed until we reached our secret spot; the hidden meadow which I had shown to Bella, and only Bella, those several years ago. Today, however, I was content to take the journey at a leisurely pace.
When we reached our meadow I took the flannel blanket which I had been carrying in my pack and spread it on the muddy ground. Bella sat and watched while I unpacked the lunch which Alice had prepared for us: turkey sandwiches, lemonade, a bag of potato chips, and a bunch of juicy looking grapes. It seemed a monumental amount of food for only one person, but Bella ate without a fuss; I think by this point she had outgrown her aversion to eating in my presence.
I watched as Bella took small nibbles from her sandwich, chewing slowly. Her hair was down today, falling down her back in soft chestnut waves. The light from the sun reflected off of its smooth and shiny surface, highlighting its subtle red and copper undertones. Although she did not sparkle like I did, her pale skin was undeniably radiant with a luminous glow. Bella tilted her face toward the sun, smiling as her skin warmed under its rays.
And I swear she had never looked more beautiful.
Her eyes fluttered open slowly and she caught me staring. She blushed and ducked away from me at first, but I gently reached up and tilted her face upward with my finger. She blushed again, deeper this time, and then asked sheepishly if I would take my shirt off. I obliged willingly, despite my more proper sensibilities; it not only delighted me that Bella was so pleased with my body, but I also wanted to feel the sunlight on my bare skin. Although I could not truly distinguish between hot and cold, I found the sensation to be very pleasant.
I removed my shirt and tossed it aside before lying back upon the dewy grass. Closing my eyes, I listened to the sound of Bella sifting through our picnic basket, announcing that it was time for dessert. There was a short pause in the rustling before I heard Bella gasp in surprise.
"Popsicles!" she exclaimed happily. "I haven't had one of these since I was a kid."
I cracked an eye open and watched as Bella excitedly opened the box and pulled out one of its contents. A small sliver of vibrant red became visible as she peeled back the item's white plastic packaging.
Ah, so she liked cherry flavor…
Bella removed the item from its wrapping completely, and I saw that it was essentially a frozen tube of sugar water attached to a wooden stick. I couldn't really understand the appeal, myself, but Bella certainly seemed to be enjoying it.
"You should really be more selective about what you eat," I commented, which she studiously ignored.
I watched as Bella brought the popsicle to her lips, which she licked before taking just the tip of it inside her mouth. She sucked on it slightly, her eyes rolling back in pleasure, as a soft moan of contentment escaped from her lips.
That moan went straight to my… groin area.
Considering the era which I came from, certain topics just didn't seem fit for casual conversation. I had become modernized in many ways, but I still held onto many of my more proper sensibilities. I had seen and heard practically everything within the minds and thoughts of others, but still had literally no practical experience in that particular area. And, considering I had spent almost 100 years being sexually dormant, it seemed only natural for me to be a bit squeamish on the subject.
This was not to say, however, that I was uncomfortable with our present situation. On the contrary, I had become quite accustomed to being in a constant state of arousal around Bella.
Ever since she had agreed to marry me, we had been… experimenting… with our physical love for one other. I rarely let things get too out of control between us, although I will admit that I had the occasional fantasy.
But this… this was just strange.
I considered myself to be fairly straightforward in terms of my sexuality. I had no bizarre fetishes to speak of, let alone ones involving food… But there was no way I could deny, based on the huge erection straining against the front of my pants, that watching Bella eat that popsicle was… arousing.
The question was… why?
I continued to watch as Bella slid the popsicle past her lips, first the head of it, then down toward the middle of its shaft, which was glistening with the wetness from her saliva.
And then suddenly… it hit me.
Lips… tongue… head… shaft…
Oh… Oh…
Well, this is just embarrassing, I thought angrily to myself. Granted, I was very attracted to my fiancé, and yes, I wanted to have sex with her, but now I just felt pathetic. Getting aroused from watching Bella put some phallic shaped object in her mouth, just like a horny teenager…
I was better than that. Bella deserved better than that.
But the longer I watched her with that popsicle - her lips, now tinged with red, sliding over it - the more I wanted to imagine that it was me her mouth was on. I imagined her soft, full lips, her wet, warm tongue, her hot breath against my skin…
Could Bella possibly be imagining the same thing? Was she fantasizing that it was me inside of her mouth, rather than the popsicle? The object could not have been so different from my own anatomy; it was hard and cold. Would Bella find that… pleasurable?
Well, this certainly wasn't helping matters. My erection was now straining so hard against my pants it was almost painful. I shifted my weight in order to adjust myself discreetly without Bella noticing. But of course, this was Bella, always so sharp and observant…
She did notice.
Her eyes grew very wide as she took in the state of my arousal. She removed the popsicle from her mouth with a loud pop as her eyes flitted between the bulge in my pants and my wild expression, then back to my erection… and finally, to the popsicle.
Recognition dawned upon her lovely features as she blushed a very deep scarlet. Looking between me and the popsicle, she made that circuit several times before her expression shifted from embarrassment to one of determination. Bella seemed to be decided upon something, though I had no idea what.
And I never, never could have anticipated what happened next.
"Do you like that, Edward?" she whispered softly.
"W-what?" I stuttered like a moron, knowing damn well what she meant.
Bella shifted so that she was sitting forward on her knees, looking uncharacteristically mischievous; so close now that I could smell her cherry scented breath.
"Do you like watching me lick the popsicle?" she asked, still looking up at me with those wide, innocent doe eyes. A rush of lust surged through me as I saw her small pink tongue peek out from behind her lips; she traced it languidly along the entirety of the popsicle's length.
Good Lord. She was trying to kill me.
"I think you do," she continued, emboldened now, and proceeded to engulf the entire length of it into her warm, tight little mouth.
A loud groan escaped me, which did not go unnoticed by my Bella. She moaned softly in satisfaction at my reaction, and continued pumping the popsicle rhythmically between her beautiful lips, her eyes peering back into mine intermittently before fluttering closed. She was teasing me … intentionally.
I was so incredibly aroused that I thought I literally might explode. My body was tight and rigid, restrained against the urge to take her tiny face between my hands and force it down until it was in my lap.
I was panting now in my restraint; nostrils flared, eyes wild and burning. My hands shook violently with the desire reach out and grab her; to pin her down, defile her, and make her mine….
No! I shouted at myself in my mind. You can't do that!
I knew my conscience was right; but the longer I watched, my urges for her only grew stronger. To maintain control, I watched her, but did not otherwise move. I clawed and dug my fingers into the soft, wet ground, my stone fingers sinking deeply into the raw dirt.
I knew I must have looked a bit ridiculous, so consumed by lust and instinct; but I couldn't quite bring myself to care at that moment.
Bella was not immune to my suffering; and to my utter frustration, she appeared quite amused. I could hardly comprehend her mischief, but I could see that she too was becoming aroused. I struggled for control as she quickly scooted forward, her legs straddling my hips. She leaned forward and hovered over me so that her breasts were pressed against my chest. I could feel her hot breath against my skin, making me shiver.
"What are you thinking about now?" she whispered, scattering soft kisses across the side of my neck.
If only you knew, I thought hopelessly, desperately. So many emotions were racing through me at that moment; desire, longing, and most of all… fear.
I had gone to great lengths to keep these strict physical boundaries between us, boundaries which had to exist for her safety. I could not, would not allow my own selfish desires to get in the way of that. I would keep Bella safe, no matter what I had to sacrifice. Everything I did was for her, even the things I didn't or refused to do; always for her.
I knew that this has already gone too far, that I needed to put a stop to it, but with a great deal of disgust and self-loathing, I found that I couldn't bring myself to do it. Words ultimately failed me, but I did tighten my grip around Bella's waist; whether to embrace her or restrain her, I wasn't quite sure. She continued without waiting for my response.
"Would you like to know what I'm thinking about, Edward?" Her kisses turned gradually into soft little bites that made my groin throb and my spine tingle. "I'm thinking that this popsicle tastes good, but you would taste better."
I felt a slight pressure as the popsicle made contact with my neck. Normally I would have been disgusted, but then I felt Bella flatten her tongue against my skin. She lapped along the path of sticky sweetness, all the up my neck and ending at my ear, which she gave a gentle nibble.
Jesus. Now I could smell her arousal.
"Mmmm," she sighed happily. "Good enough to eat."
She repeated the same process on my chest, tracing a line down between the center of my pecs. Her tongue felt so incredible against my skin. As she was lavishing attention upon my midsection, a small bit of the popsicle, which had started to melt, dribbled down my abs.
"Oops," Bella giggled, and reached down to swipe a bit of the residue off with her finger. She moved herself down my body and bent her head forward; slowly, deliberately, all the while keeping eye contact. The curious delight was in her eyes more clearly than ever and I realized then that she knew exactly what she was doing to me. She ducked down to swipe her tongue across the sticky residue, right at the spot below my naval. My erection was so hard and surely she could feel it…
"Bella," I warned her through gritted teeth.
She ignored me, and proceeded to pop the button open on my jeans. She gave me a sexy, evil little grin as she started to pull the zipper down. I knew exactly where this was going.
"Bella," I said again, and this time I hoped I sounded more authoritative, "No."
I clamped my hand over her wrist to restrain her, but she could tell that my stone wall of resistance was crumbling. She gently pried my fingers loose. "Edward," she said in a calm and soothing voice. "Let me do this." She must have noticed the panic in my eyes, because then she added, "Trust me. It will be alright."
She was asking me to trust her; and I did, more than anyone. But that didn't mean I wasn't still incredibly nervous. If I'd still had a living heart, it would have been beating in my chest about now. The popsicle was quickly discarded on the grass, and then I felt Bella pull my zipper down the rest of the way. I gulped, screwing my eyes shut.
I felt her pull me out from my boxers, and the sensation of her soft hand wrapping around my shaft was otherworldly. I felt her squeeze at the base and stroke once upward, a bit of pre cum leaking from my slit. I cracked my eyes open just in time to see Bella peek her tongue out to lick at the tip of my head, and then take the rest of it inside her mouth.
And for the first time, perhaps in my entire existence, I was content to stop thinking, to stop worrying, and to just feel.
The sensation of Bella's tongue around me was indescribable. Her mouth, now cooled from the popsicle, was not its usual scalding temperature against my skin. Because of the difference, I was able to focus on the pure sensation. Her tongue, it's texture; the velvet roughness of it, the slick wetness. Her mouth was indeed a paradise – so wet and tight – the only heaven I would ever want to know.
I longed to bury my fingers in her soft hair while she took me into her mouth, but I kept my hands at my sides, wanting to let her set the pace. Bella, however, had other plans. I felt the cool air hit my wet skin as she released me from her mouth, dragging her lips up and down the side of my shaft. "Let go," she murmured, sending delicious vibrations against my skin. "Edward, let go." Then she gently dragged her teeth across the entire length of me, and I knew was a goner.
My fingers threaded themselves in her hair, anchoring her to me as tightly as possible without excessive force. I set my pace along with hers, the slight thrust of my hips in time with her mouth. She gradually began to increase her suction around me, the sounds of her sucking and soft moans only spurring me on further.
I felt my head begin to hit the back of her throat, and the raw sensation was too sublime for me to even process. All too soon, I began to reach my climax. This sparked an immediate sense of panic, as I didn't know how this event, or the venom which would result from it, could affect Bella. Would she be harmed if she swallowed it? I could never live with myself if anything happened to her.
Luckily, Bella sensed my impending release, just in time for me to explode onto the grass beside our blanket.
I lay back against the blanket, panting heavily, as Bella crawled up my body and laid her head on my chest. Neither of us spoke for several seconds as we calmed. She eventually lay on her chin so she could peek up and look at me, her expression curious.
"So, do you still want me to be more selective about what I eat?" she asked teasingly.
I grinned, despite the fact that I was still panting. "If you like them that much," I told her breathlessly, "Next time you can eat the whole damn box."
A/N:
Popsicle, anyone?