Kiss me, And You Will See How Important I am
I borrowed the title from the always amazing Sylvia Plath.
.
"You've never kissed a girl before!" Chuck Clayton asks in disbelief.
They're all 13-years-old and starting to navigate boy-girl thing, not sure how much of the stuff they tell each other during lunch is real or made up to try and impress and outdo each other.
"Sure I have!" Jughead Jones answers. "I've kissed my mom and my sister and my grandmothers!"
Reggie Mantle groans.
"That doesn't count, Jug!" Archie Andrews informs him.
"We need to fix this right away!" Chuck says, smirking. "Betty's sitting all by herself. You should go and kiss her!"
"I don't think that's a good idea!" Archie interjects.
"Why? Do you got a crush on her, Arch?" Jason Blossom jokes.
"No way!" Archie protests. "But Jughead and Betty are friends. . . and you know she isn't exactly getting invited out to the movies on Friday night. Maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to give her false hope."
Jughead feels his stomach tense up at the thought of any kind of contact with his best girl friend. "I don't really think kissing her would be a good idea. Not in front of everyone, anyways."
"Oh stop being such a chicken!" Chuck says. "Unless you don't like girls, maybe we could find Kevin and you could kiss him!"
Jughead flushes. "I don't like boys!" he denies adamantly.
"Prove it!" Chuck demands.
They all look over at Betty. She's reading Nancy's Mysterious Letter and twirling a blonde ringlet around her finger.
Jughead isn't usually the type of kid to follow the crowd or to even prove himself to anybody. Especially not to the likes of Chuck Freaking Clayton. He doesn't even care that compared to the rest of the gang, he's inexperienced with the fairer sex.
Jason sighs. "One of us is going to have to do it, show him how it's done."
Chuck nods. "Who wants to give Betty the thrill of her life? It isn't like any of the guys are lining up to take her out on a date"
The knot in Jughead's stomach intensifies. He can't let them do this to her, he knows their exclusion hurts her feelings. He can't bear for her to be another story they tell, something that doesn't mean anything to any of them.
"Fine!" he says. "I'll do it!"
All the boys, except for Archie, start to hoot and holler at him as he went over to Betty.
"Hey Bets," he says.
She looks up from her book and smiles. "Hi Juggie!" she answers. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Um. . ." Jughead trails off, unsure of how to proceed. "It's a nice day, isn't it?"
"The nicest," Betty agrees, smiling prettily at him.
The knot in his stomach erupts into a million swarming butterflies. He glances behind his shoulder, the guys are still watching him. He shifts from foot-to-foot and clears his throat. His heart is beating a mile a minute.
He knows he shouldn't give into peer pressure and kiss her, even if it is going to protect her from their wolfish classmates.
But. . .
He kind of wants to.
"Bets," he says even though he still has her undivided attention.
"Yes?" Betty asks.
He swoops in so fast, like he's some male lead in a Disney Channel Original movie, and kisses her right on the mouth. It's awkward and he can feel his heart accelerate to 100 miles per hour.
She doesn't even kiss him back. She's so startled, she almost falls off the swing. She grabs the chains to keep her balance and blushes as Nancy's Mysterious Letter topples off her lap and into the dirt.
"What was that for?" She asks, her hair falling in front of her face.
Jughead feels shame shoot through every inch of him as he bends down to pick up her book for her.
"The guys," he answers, unable to lie to her. "They told me to kiss you because I've never kissed a girl before."
"Oh."
"They said if I didn't do it then one of them would," Jughead continues to explain, knowing he's digging himself into a deeper hole. "So, I thought better me than Chuck. Right?"
Betty couldn't look more wounded. "I thought we were friends."
"We are friends!" Jughead insists.
"You wouldn't have done that if we were," Betty says. "You're just like everybody else. Go on! Go tell them that you did it! Let them pat you on the back and tell you that you're the man!"
Jughead follows her and grabs her by the arm. "Betty!"
She shakes her head and wrenches away from him. Her eyes are brimming with tears and Jughead feels completely sick to his stomach.
He decides he's never going to give into peer pressure again. No matter what, it only ever ruined the good things in life.
.
So, he doesn't know what the hell persuaded him to go to crash a sleepover with Archie at Veronica Lodge's house 2 years later. He doesn't know what the hell persuades him to agree to play spin the bottle (what is it with Cheryl and that game anyways?)
The next thing he knows, he's in a dark closet waiting for the unlucky lady to join him. He's beginning to think it's a prank when the door opens and somebody's pushed inside. He can hear 'Can't Keep My Hands to Myself' pulsing on the stereo in the living room.
"Ooof! Will you girls be careful, please!?"
Jughead swallows hard, the butterflies that have taken up residence in his belly are taking flight again. He knows that voice anywhere. If he were in a room with a million girls + Betty, he would always be able to pick her out.
"Juggie," she whispers when the door closes behind her, the maniacal giggles fade eventually.
"Bets," Jughead whispers back, his voice sounding distant.
And then she's kissing him. She tastes like cinnamon lip gloss, probably from the makeovers he and Archie had interrupted when they'd crashed the party. He doesn't like it as much as the vanilla that's haunted his dreams since that awful, awful day on the playground.
"Am I being too pushy?" Betty asks breathlessly.
It's too dark to see anything but he finds her face anyways and kisses her with almost reckless abandonment. There's a sharp intake of breath, he doesn't know if it's her or him or. . .
"Time's up!" Valerie declares, throwing the doors open and smirking. "You've got lipstick all over your mouth, Forsythe. I've got to say Burning Desire looks good on you."
"B-burning desire!?" Jughead stutters too dazed to even correct Valerie on the use of his real name.
"It's the shade of lipstick Betty was wearing before you kissed it off of her, Sugar," Valerie says, waggling her eyebrows at them suggestively.
Betty groans and Jughead wants to disappear in the Lodge ladies collection of designer coats and furs.
This is why he decided to be his own person in the first place, not do what everybody else was doing. It only led to trouble.
He glances at Betty.
But then he had been in trouble the first day he met her.
.
They're working on an exclusive about Josie & the Pussycats getting signed for a major record label. She's had a migraine most of the day and she finally declares she can't take it anymore. She pulls her hair down and spreads out on the old plaid couch.
"Do you need anything?" Jughead asks, following her. "Painkillers? Water?"
"Sleep," Betty replies.
"Maybe I should take you home," Jughead suggests.
"The pain's too bad, if I move I might throw up."
Jughead kneels down next to her and starts to rub her neck. The muscles are so tight he's not surprised she has a migraine. She winces a little bit when he gets to a particularly tense area and he pulls away.
"Sorry!" he whispers.
"It feels nice," she assures him, her voice muffled by cushions. "Just be a little gentler, please."
He starts again and waits until her breaths are steady, a sure sign she is asleep, to stop. She turns on her side and tucks her hands under her head. She looks so beautiful, so peaceful. She's stealing his breath away, which is not a new experience at this point. He can't help himself, he brushes her hair away from her face, leans in and kisses her on the cheek . It's as delicate as a summer breeze, she stirs slightly and smiles.
His heart skips a beat and he thinks maybe this is what love feels like. He wrenches himself away, goes and dims the lights so she can sleep in peace and tries to finish working on the Pussycats exclusive but fails miserably.
.
Since she's become a cheerleader, it's like almost every other jock on the football team wants to be the other half of a power couple with her.
He watches as they wander into the Blue & Gold and turn on the old, boy-next-door charm while they ask if she wants to go to Pop's - POP'S - for an afterschool soda or sundae.
He imagines her laughing at one of their stupid jokes, smiling at them in the way she's only supposed to smile at him.
The thought alone. . .
It makes him green-eyed with envy.
But he can't ever form the words to tell her how he feels about her. He's not even sure that she likes him that way. Sure she kissed him back that one time in Veronica's coat closet but that was because it was Seven Minutes In Heaven. . .
He groans and throws his pen down on the desk. There's no way he's going to get any work done with this inner-monologue going on in his head. He checks the time on the clock over the doors. She's probably not on her date with Dream Man #7 yet. If he hurries, he thinks maybe he can catch her. Stop her from going out with somebody else who's decidedly not him.
He slings his bag over his shoulder and shuts down the desktop computer and makes a run for it.
She's just leaving when he gets to her house, she's changed into a different outfit than the one she was wearing at school. She looks confused when she sees him coming up the walkway like a man on a mission.
He takes the steps two at a time and approaches her, trying to make his intentions known by the look on his face. Betty closes the front door behind her and leans against it. Inside, Polly is playing a mournful sounding piece on her violin.
"Jughead?" Betty asks. "I'm going to be late, could this wait until later?"
"No."
He drops his messenger bag and kisses her. It's urgent and he can taste the jealousy on his own tongue. But he wants her to know. . . needs her to know how he feels.
She pulls away. "Jughead, what are you doing?"
Even though he's a writer, he's not sure he can put it into words without his laptop or paper and pen. So, he pushes her up against the door and kisses her again. Betty laughs.
"What's so funny?" he asks, feeling slightly insulted because he doesn't find the situation that humorous.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to keep me from going out on my date. Are you a little jealous, Juggie?"
"Me!? Jealous?" He almost scoffs, softening. "Well, maybe just a little bit."
"You should have said something," she whispers, kissing him again.
.
It's pouring buckets like a cliché from some damn Nicholas Sparks movie and she's looking like a blonde Holly Golightly. Ever since they've gotten together, it's like he can't keep his mouth off of her because now he has permission to kiss her whenever he wants to.
And kiss her he does, like he's a leading man and their life is a romantic comedy not an early Hitchcock film.
(Except there's always heavy necking in Hitch's movies and he's pretty sure a little more than that in classics like North by Northwest.)
"What are you doing?" Betty asks, laughing.
"Being Scott Eastwood," he jokes.
"Scott Eastwood!?" she repeats.
"Doesn't he kiss Britt Robertson in the rain in that movie?"
"The Longest Ride? No, you're thinking about the Notebook. Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams." Betty answers, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "But you're adorable!"
This earns him more kisses. Jughead thinks maybe he could stand with her outside in the rain forever.
But. . .
Polly is standing on the steps, calling for them to come inside and have some tea and change their clothes before they catch their death of cold.
He takes her hand and together they make a run for it.
.
Overnight, the rain turns into snow and they get a day off from school. She shows up at Pop's in bubblegum pink Hunter Boots and a white parka with fur trim. She plops down across from him and bats her eyelashes at him.
"Yes?" he asks without looking up from his computer.
"Do you want to build a snowman?"
Jughead looks at her. "Don't you dare!"
Betty giggles. "What? I wasn't doing anything, Juggie! Are you so busy you can't play outside in the snow with me?"
"Play outside in the snow? What are we 10-years-old?" Jughead teases.
"Oh come on!" Betty pleads. "Please!? We don't have to build a snowman!"
"Okay, if you stop making Frozen references then I'll come and play in the snow with you. Deal?"
Betty claps her hands in delight and Jughead shuts down his computer and stashes it in his backpack.
They dig sleds out of the Cooper's garage and go to their favorite hill at the park. They decide to have a rematch from a race they had back in the 8th grade.
Betty wins just by an inch, tumbling off her sled and into a snow drift. Jughead slides to a stop, a little panicked and jumps off his sled to see if she's okay. She's giggling as she pulls him down next to her and rolls on top of him.
Jughead can feel the cold seeping through his jacket but when she puts her mouth on his, he's shivering for a whole other reason. When she stops to catch her breath, she smiles at him.
"Hi," she says.
He grins back and leans up to kiss her again, feeling warm all over.
.
But Jughead is always waiting for something to go wrong, actively searching for it because he can't ever have nice things. He's lived an uncharmed life for most of the years he's been alive, he can't imagine he's suddenly going to get lucky now.
So, he does what he always did when he was afraid of losing something, he started to retreat into himself and push Betty away. It doesn't even make sense to himself, to give up something he's wanted for so long.
And he's wanted to be with Betty for as long as he can remember.
But he wants to stop while he's ahead.
Get out when it'll only hurt a little bit, not later on when it would be a tidal wave of heartache that Jughead couldn't deal with. He hadn't been able to save himself before but maybe he could now.
After days and days of avoiding her, she corners him in the Blue & Gold after school.
"What do you think you're doing?" She demands, pushing him a little bit.
"What do you mean?" Jughead asks, trying to act like he doesn't know what she's talking about even though he's pretty sure that he does.
"You've been avoiding me! It's like nothing's changed between us!" Betty pushes him a little more. "No. It's like we don't even know each other. Did I do something wrong, Jughead?"
She's a mixture between raging and achingly sad and Jughead's mind is reeling.
"Y-you didn't do anything," Jughead finally says. "But it's what could happen. What you could do, what I could do in the future. I don't want to get hurt, Betty. I've been hurt so much before."
"Then what are you doing right now?" She snaps. "It definitely doesn't feel good, does it!?"
"Not really," he admits in a small voice. "But what if one day you realize I'm not what you want? Or maybe you meet somebody who can give you more than I can."
"That is all very theoretical, Jughead!" she's still mad. "I have more to be worried about than you do! Nobody has ever wanted me, I've never been anybody's first choice. Not ever."
"I'm nobody!?" Jughead asks furiously. "Nice to know!"
"I didn't say that!"
The next thing he knew, she was kissing him angrily except it was fueled with something more. . .
"Betty, do you miss me?" he asks lamely.
"Do you miss me?"
Jughead nods, the truth is that he is miserable without her. . . just like he knew he would be. He doesn't know if he can keep her forever, the fear of rejection is still clawing at his throat. They're too young to make that kind of commitment. Contrary to movie wisdom, people don't belong to people. . .
"I missed you too," she says.
"Stay," he whispers.
.
It's the last day of school and she stretched out next to him on a quilt in a white sundress, her hair is out of its customary ponytail and looks golden in the late evening sun. He's completely breathless looking at her. He still can't believe that she chose him. He's loved her for as long as he can remember but he never imagined he'd be the one she chose.
He's not exactly the kind of guy that the leading lady rides off into the sunset with.
And yet. . .
Here they are. . .
"What are you thinking about Juggie?" Betty whispers.
"Just how lucky I am," he answers. "You could have had anyone else in school but you're with me."
She laughs. "I didn't want anyone else, I want you. Besides, you didn't give me much of a choice. You can be very persuasive, you know."
"I wasn't aware," Jughead says.
She laughs and kisses him, he can taste lemonade on her lips and all the words they haven't said to each other yet.
But there's time.
Right now he's content just to be with her.
The End
.
Author's Note:
This turned into a monster of a one-shot. I did not see it coming but here we are. I hope you enjoyed it and that you'll tell me what you think. Endless thanks to all the girls and the one guy who gave me their kiss prompt.
There's more to come, I promise.
Until Next Time!
Love,
Holly, 2/27/2017