There were always things Dennis liked to think about at night. Sometimes he'd find himself staying up until the alarm clock rang, wondering about stuff like why Led Zepplin broke up in the height of their careers or why The Bourbon Room always seemed to have ups and downs and never a steady flow of people coming in, why he thought moving out to LA and opening a club would rid him of all the stress he was carrying around from his broken up, small-town band and messy divorce, but the one thing he thought about most was Lonny.
4:00pm, the alarm clock rang and Dennis reset it. He got up, stepping over his clothes and a pile of old Rolling Stone magazines, and made a half-assed breakfast of peanut butter on white toast, just like clockwork. As much as he hated getting his ass out of bed and out the door, he had a club to run. A bitch of a club at that. All she did was take and all he did was shit out money for her needs. He laughed at himself, but it was true. The Bourbon Room reminded him of his ex-wife that way, but it if it weren't for The Bourbon, he wouldn't have met Lonny.
And there he was, making his way into Dennis' mind again as he ate the rest of his toast and peanut butter.
He was just so different. Lonny was the only person Dennis had ever met who had just as many stories to tell as he did. Dennis would tell him about Woodstock, Lonny would tell him about his friends in London, Dennis would tell him about his ex-wife, Lonny would tell about his first threesome and as disgusting as it was, Lonny somehow made the story intriguing.
Dennis also knew Lonny wasn't just some junkie who thought he could turn a job at The Bourbon into a nationwide tour overnight. He genuinely loved his job and The Bourbon Room. Dennis could see that right from the moment they met. Lonny was committed. That's why he loved having him around; they both shared that feeling of commitment to The Bourbon Room and to rock n' roll. Lonny was unconditionally devoted to rock n' roll, just like Dennis was. Neither of them had made much of a dent in the music industry and they didn't really want to. They just wanted to listen. Whether it was down at the Bourbon Room's bar or up in Dennis' office, Lonny always made listening better. He had a real passion for it too and it made him see things in ways unimaginable to some.
One day back in '83, Dennis was alone in his office, bent over some taxes he knew the Bourbon would have to dip into their last thousand to pay off. He had a few drinks to try to calm his nerves but it wasn't working. He felt like everything he'd ever worked for was going to be smashed to bits right then and there and there was nothing he could do about it.
He leaned back, taking it all in: the music blaring from below, the sound of the audience. This was his life, his dream… and his dream was dying.
"Oi, Den," Lonny walked in and slouched in the chair beside the desk. Dennis sighed and just looked back at him. He didn't have the motivation or a reason to hide his pain. Lonny grinned after a few seconds of just staring at each other, "You alright, mate? Looks like you've just listened to Warrant's Cherry Pie after a night on acid."
Dennis frowned, his lips pursed. "Is it that bad?" He almost never understood Lonny's way of speaking, and he doubted he ever really would, but he was starting to at least get a handle on what was good and what was bad. He looked back down at the papers and sighed, taking a sip from the bottle of bourbon on the corner of his desk. "We're screwed," he pointed to the paper on his desk, "Our last thousand."
"No, you can't be serious," Lonny took the paper, skimming over the printed numbers and the notes Dennis had made at the bottom. His eyes widened and he shook his head, "Jesus," he put the page down and looked at the look of despair on Dennis' face.
"I don't know what to do," Dennis nodded once. In all his years of owning this place, he never once found himself in the position where he needed to ask for help, but he needed it now. If it were him alone right now, he wouldn't know what to do. He'd probably drink until the sun came up and try to figure it out the next day, but then Lonny said something, something that amazed him. "Oi," Lonny stood up, "here's what you do," he grabbed Dennis under his arm and took him to the window. Dennis looked through, down to the floor and the stage below, where the band was playing and the crowd was going wild. "Forget money, forget taxes, fuck it all! Isn't this what it's about, what it's really about?" He gestured out the window, "this monument of decadence," he smiled and shrugged, "The music, mate. That's what it's about. That's why you started this in the first place, yeah? For rock n' roll, Den."
Maybe it was the amount of alcohol in Dennis or the state of his mind, but Lonny was right. He was really right! It was the first time Lonny showed him the other side of a problem and the first time The Bourbon didn't get their bills paid. (Which escalated to the point of it being threatened by a group of bible-thumping protestors and Stacee Jaxx had to save their ass with the kickoff of his solo career, but we'll get to that later)
Dennis finished his shower and shaved. He hated shaving, but the time called for it every few days when it got itchy and distracting. He didn't work well with distractions, as he'd also learned more recently with Lonny around. Whether he was just watching TV in the office or having to be bailed out of jail, he was a huge distraction and any issues in his personal life usually made its way to Dennis eventually. He began to feel a bit like Lonny's personal psychiatrist after a few years. It was a pain in the ass at first, but soon enough Dennis found himself genuinely concerned whenever Lonny was down. As they became closer, Lonny opened up to Dennis more and more until one day, Lonny let him all the way in.
Dennis will never forget that day. Lonny came in his office and marched straight to the couch.
"Hey," Dennis looked up at him briefly and did a double take. After the second glance, his heart broke. Lonny's arms were crossed, he was staring at the floor and his eyes were red and swollen.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Dennis was almost overwhelmed; he had never seen Lonny like this or any of his male employees, for that matter. Sure, there was the occasional girl who came in in tears over some jackass who stomped on her heart, but this was different. Silence was not normal for Lonny. This wasn't over some fling that ended overnight. He could tell those were heartbreak tears, but they were serious heartbreak tears. Dennis tried asking again, but Lonny just shook his head, his face straining to stop from crying again.
"Love?" Dennis asked simply, stepping carefully and trying to get a handle on the situation without adding to the pain. Lonny nodded slowly, "I thought it was."
Dennis understood, he didn't need to know anymore. He'd been down the boulevard of broken hearts many times and knew exactly how Lonny felt. Lonny was just a bit more openly emotional about it than he would've been. They spent the next few minutes on the couch, Dennis saying things like, "there are other brands of whiskey out there," or "at least you have Bon Jovi to help heal your broken heart," until Lonny finally broke down and cried into Dennis' shoulder. This was good, he was getting it out and there was no shame in that. Dennis wasn't the most sympathetic person, but he knew that when you wished that you were dead it was good to have a shoulder to cry on… and to keep the knives out of your hands.
That was the biggest distraction Lonny had ever caused, but Dennis couldn't say he was disappointed that he spent the whole day comforting his best friend. He learned something about Lonny that day and even more, he learned something about himself.
He was in love with Lonny. Lonny Barnett. Dennis was head over heels in love with his best friend, his best male friend. Was he fucking nuts?! Was he high?! He tried to remember back when him and his ex-wife first started seeing each other. He felt exactly like this, only this time was about three times more intense.
He was in love and it was another thought keeping him awake at night. He fought it for a long time, but he was truly, clearly, undeniably… secretly in love. Lonny's passion and energy made Dennis feel young again, they had a bond like brothers and Lonny was just perfect, inside and out.
But a life with Lonny was just a crazy fantasy. Lonny wouldn't understand and there was nothing more pathetic than some middle-aged man chasing after a young thing like that. Dennis had seen that too many times at The Bourbon Room and it never ended with happily ever after.
And so, for years Dennis kept it to himself. He loved Lonny, but he loved him too much to ruin their friendship.
Shit, that all seemed like a box of dusty records as he got dressed quietly and looked at Lonny sleeping in his bed now. He smiled and reached down to the side of Lonny's neck where he was sleeping. Lonny stirred awake and opened one eye lazily. "Whaaat?" He groaned, turning over, "Jesus. Bloody vested, hippy, bastard…" Dennis chuckled at his usual morning greeting and let Lonny sleep, watching him with all the thoughts from earlier running through his head.
"Go ooon," Lonny mumbled, "I can feel you're bloody eyes on me."
Dennis rolled his eyes and left the apartment, leaving his hungover lover in peace. He still thought about Lonny, but in a different way now. Now his thoughts were about how much he loved him and cared for him, what a rockin' lover he was…
In the best way possible, things were different.