characters: Blaine Anderson, Sebastian Smythe; mention of my OC
pairing: Blaine/Sebastian
disclaimer: It's Ryan Murphy's world, I just play in it.
authors note:
This falls into the same universe as Remember Tonight (For It Is The Beginning Of Always)and (You Are) My Signal Fire. (I believe it can be read without the knowledge of these two stories; although you would make me oh so happy if you give them a read as well.)
Also on Tumblr: Seblaine Sunday Challenge (prompt anything goes)
This has basically no angst at all so I hope it's not too cheesy or sugary; although I feel like I should issue a health warning, just in case.
Title belongs to E.E. Cummings.
English is still not my native language so I apologize for any and all grammar mistakes.
( This is an answer to a question Faye asked in a review of my last fic: Yes, I wrote it in one day but I mean one whole day and I'd been writing it in my head for a few days prior. That's what I always do.)
A big thank you to everyone who reads and likes and reviews my stories.
Only By You (My Heart Always Moves)
.
Standing at the island in the kitchen, clad only in his navy blue briefs, Blaine is slicing mangoes while the small smile is playing on his lips. He pops one slice inside his mouth and hums at the fresh, sweet taste of the fruit. His mind flashes back to the moments of the day. Laughing, kissing, touching. Bed, floor, couch, kitchen. More and harder and oh baby, just like that, oh baby, don't stop.
His smile grows wider and then turns more dreamy and dazed before he's forced to still his movements. His eyes close and he bites his lower lip but the small, tiny noise of pleasure escapes him. Skin to skin, two bodies arching and writhing, pushing closer and closer, coming undone.
He loses himself in this little reverie, fingers moving, peeling oranges in a slow, absentminded manner. There's no rush, no rush at all.
His body tingles from all the delicious delights. Smiles that are too big for his face, fingers digging, grazing, pressing against his skin, pressing inside of him, words that aren't words at all, sounds of happiness and ardor and ecstasy.
.
Today has been perfect. Is perfect.
.
As are all the rest of their days. Days made of occasional burnt dinner or broken toilet. Days when Murphy's law overtakes their lives, when everything that can go wrong does go wrong, days when the stress of living is present and unavoidable. Yes, even days like those are perfect, filled with life's little glitches and blemishes. They're perfect because they get to live though them together. Always together.
.
Days like today, though, are certainly something special; perfect in the most purest sense of the word.
.
.
.
"Hey you," Blaine says as his husband's tall and firm body presses against his back. Sebastian wraps his arms around his waist and his mouth brushes against his shoulder.
"Hi," he greets back with a smile and presses a kiss to Blaine's cheek.
"Everything okay?" he asks and cranes his head just enough to give a kiss of his own. He feeds a slice of orange to the taller man over his shoulder before grazing his fingers over the arms that are holding him, sinking deeper into his embrace, appreciating the familiar warmth that radiates from him.
Sebastian accepts the fruit eagerly and Blaine chuckles. "Yeah," he answers. "It was just mémé. She wanted to let us know they've arrived safely and they can't wait to see us tomorrow."
"I can't wait either. I've missed them." He feels Sebastian's lips moving against his shoulder, his neck.
"They've missed you too," Sebastian informs him before adding with a smirk, "Probably more than they've missed me."
"Bas!" Blaine swats at his arms and shakes his head. "Your grandma just likes to have someone whom she can tell all the stories from when you were a kid, you know that."
A noise that is half-groan half-chuckle leaves Sebastian's mouth. Blaine laughs. "You'd think that after all these years there would be no more left but she seems to unearth new ones every time we seen them. I swear, I think she's making them up."
"No no, they are definitely not made up. There are pictures, remember?" Blaine points out through a laugh.
Sebastian tightens a hold on him and moves his lips to his ear. "You should be careful you know? I'm sure Copper still has some untold stories that he would be willing to share," he says, voice lower and bites gently at the lobe.
Blaine's laugh starts to die out but not because of Sebastian's playful threat, no, because of the way he's kissing his neck, the way his one hand is slowly moving lower, lower, lower. It's enough for the heat to seep into his bloodstream, filling him with want.
"I'm pretty sure Copper told you everything years ago." He feels his cheeks flush - embarrassment, desire - and chuckles. "Although I'm sure he would be more than happy to give you a refresher course."
Sebastian smiles against his neck, fingers dancing across the waistband of his briefs and dipping lower, just a little, just to tease. "No need, I remember everything," he informs his husband and rests his chin against his shoulder after pressing a quick kiss there. He steals a chunk of orange.
Blaine doesn't need to see him to know that he's smirking. He cranes his head and tilts it back. "Hey," he calls and Sebastian's eyes lock with his. The green is slightly unfocused, just slightly darker. "I know you don't mind when she talks to me about you," he says lovingly.
Sebastian's lips turn up and almost a shy smile graces his face. "No I don't," he admits easily. His voice is quiet though; a secret.
.
.
But it's the truth. He doesn't mind. Even if, despite himself, he gets embarrassed he likes that Blaine knows him. Not just the person he was when they met or the person he's become but also the person he had once been. Long, long time ago, in another lifetime, when he'd been just a boy. Restless and loud, confident and lost, always getting into trouble, always wanting more. Boy that had been skeptical about everything, boy that had grown up very definitively not believing in love. Not believing in much of anything, really.
Love is just some silly product of an imagination, that's what he was sure of. Nothing real, nothing you can hold on to. Just an illusion; all smoke and mirrors.
What a fool he was.
He was sure he had all the answers. Don't get attached, don't feel anything, don't even bother.
But love came regardless. It jumped him when he never expected it, when he didn't even believe in it. In a place he never wanted to be, on a perfectly ordinary November day, one boy with the eyes that were wide and almost too bright changed the entire world; his world, at any rate.
.
.
Sebastian tightens his embrace, pulls his husbands body impossibly close. Blaine sighs with content, with desire and covers his arms with his own. Close, tight. He feels his lips brush and press against his skin, his nose skims against the shell of his ear.
"Happy anniversary," Sebastian whispers.
Blaine chuckles, and it's a very light sound. He turns his head and kisses his cheek, the corner of his mouth. "We said that already," he points out. Not that he minds hearing it. Or saying it himself. Over and over and over again. He stretches his right arm a little, to the middle of the island, reaching inside the fruit bowl and grabbing few more oranges. He starts peeling them too.
Sebastian hums against his ear, bellow and kisses a sensitive skin there. His breath is warm and it tickles gently. "It's worth repeating," he offers back simply.
.
.
.
Two years.
They became husbands on a bright and starry and cold as ice Christmas Eve two years ago in Paris. In a city where they fell in love, where they surrendered, where they began.
They'd had a big, loud, dance-till-you-drop engagement party months earlier but for their wedding they both wanted something private, sheltered. They didn't want to think about sitting charts and floral arrangements, about menus and wine and the number of crates they would need to order. They didn't want to be dragged in every direction and away from each other. They didn't want to think about other people; not on their day.
They exchanged their vows in an intimate, laid-back ceremony held in a familiar and warm Bergenoir house surrounded by their closest family and friends, by the sounds and colors and scents of Christmas: wood crackling in the fireplace, all the red and gold and green, cinnamon and pine tree, white lights.
Perfect in its simplicity. Lovely and wonderful and just theirs.
.
.
.
"I agree," Blaine says after a few moments and then shifts again to kiss his husband. His jaw, the corner of his mouth, his lips. "Happy anniversary," rolls from his tongue, filled with emotion yet light somehow. "My husband."
They both grin at that.
But then Sebastian's lips are on his neck again and the shiver runs down his spine when he gently bites down. He winds his arm around and cups Sebastian's neck with his sticky fingers; to hold him close - as if Sebastian would ever think of moving away - or maybe just to steady himself. He gasps when long fingers brush against his slowly growing bulge.
"Bas," he sighs, a needy sigh. He tilts his head, searching for his husband's lips and finds them easily. It's not a kiss, not yet. A tease, a dance.
They rotate their bodies, never letting go. They're chest to chest now, Blaine's lower back pressing against the island. Hands are tracing shoulders, muscles, ribs, skin, flesh, heart. Blaine arches back slightly, pulling himself on his toes, pulling Sebastian completely against him. Closer, closer. Lips are brushing, teeth skimming, catching and then, as it often happens, their mouths slide together in concert.
And they're falling. Into each other, through the universe.
.
.
This is the kiss that is deep, deep, deep from the soul. Endless, endless. Kind of kiss that makes you reveal yourself; again and again, for the hundredth, thousandth, millionth time.
Is it really possible to still feel this way? After all this time? The ground shakes beneath you when he kisses you. You're dizzy and weak in the knees. Everything else is slipping away and only sensations remain; of yourself and the man you love. Only more more inside your head, only never ever stop.
Is it possible that knowing someone so utterly and completely can be this electrifying? That familiarity not only comforts but excites?
There's no logic, no reasonable explanation. But it's real. It's undeniable and the proof is here: it's in the way your body shivers and trembles. It's in the way your heart beats against your ribcage, fast and strong, and in the fluttering of your belly. It's in the sounds you're making. It's in his touch; touch that soothes and reassures, touch that ignites as well. Is that magic? Fate? Or just pure dumb luck? What did you do to deserve this? How many people can actually say: we are meant to be together?
.
.
They break away when their lungs start to burn. They're panting, looking at each other, smiling.
Blaine feels Sebastian's fingers in his hair, twisting around his curls. He feels his other hand low, low on his back, fingers dipped inside his briefs. They're close and he feels him, pressing half-hard against his hip. Blaine traces patterns against his stomach in a barely-there caresses and when he sees Sebastian flinch, when goosebumps pepper his arms and he sees him bite his lower lip Blaine pulls him down by his neck for another kiss. It's needy, growing hungrier with each passing second and when Sebastian shifts his body and their half-hard cocks press against each other both men moan. They continue moving, grinding in slow circles. Kissing, kissing, kissing. Hands following the lines of their bodies.
"I love you," Blaine manages to say in a thick voice against Sebastian's throat. The declaration is followed by another moan and he presses slow, open mouthed kisses against his jaw and along the curve of his throat.
Sebastian shudders and moans as well, a low, thick moan, before he stills his hips. Their eyes lock, hooded and dark and open. His fingers curl around his husband's jaw and spread over his cheek, thumb stroking gently. He sees him, feels him arch into his touch. "I love you too," he says.
.
.
Sebastian still remembers perfectly well how he felt the first time he said those words. Nervous then light, in awe, giddy almost. He remembers how surprisingly easy they fell from his lips, how sweet they were, how he couldn't hold them in a second longer. He remembers the taste of that pistachio/chocolate gelato he and Blaine consumed that late afternoon in a sweltering heat, how cold and sweet it was inside his mouth, how it melted and how the disparity between icy dessert and heat outside made his body shiver. He remembers the color of the sky above their heads - orange with a red edge - and the exact color Blaine's eyes were - breathtakingly honey-golden - when he said it: I love you. I'm in love with you.
It was the truth then and it is the truth now, still; and every day in between.
He used to be afraid that he simply wasn't made for love, that he didn't have it in him to make another person happy. To make him the very center of his universe. But it's so easy with Blaine. Being with him, for him, beside him. Loving him. He never could've imagined it was possible to love someone so much. Utterly. To the core. To be able to trust just as much. With your life. With your heart.
This love that doesn't dissolve into water, that doesn't evaporate into smoke made him better. But that's what love does, isn't it? It makes you rise above your own failings and shortcomings, makes you grateful for being alive, makes you try your best to be everything you know the person you love deserves.
Surprisingly, it turns out, that despite his own doubts, Sebastian manages to be exactly what Blaine wants, needs him to be. He knows it because of the smile that is stretching lightly across his face in this very instant, because of the smile that he sees every day when he wakes up beside him. It's in the way he kisses him and in the sound of his laughter, it's in his touch, in the way he curls up beside him and just breaths him in.
.
.
"I love you so much," Sebastian repeats. He takes a moment to just watch Blaine. Who would've ever thought that he would be the one to find true happiness? He tightens a hold on his husband. "I'm so lucky to have you."
Blaine smiles again and leans up to kiss him. And they fall into it. Again. Another series of kisses and touches, moans and whimpers and gasps.
.
Sebastian pulls away when he feels Blaine grip his hand and starts pushing it lower, between their bodies. He breaths, watches, smirks and can't help but tease, just a little more.
"Want something?" Sebastian asks against Blaine's ear. His voice is low and husky and Blaine shivers just from that.
He shudders then when Sebastian's fingers slide against the length of his cock. He moans quietly and then swallows a whine when the taller man denies him more of that contact that he craves. He feels Sebastian's hands on his beck, dipping beneath the waistband of his briefs. He whimpers from the pressure of his fingers against his flesh, from the hum of appreciation he hears. He curls his fingers around his husbands neck, pulling him in for another kiss. He pushes his hips against Sebastian's and revels in the sound he hears. A clear, beautiful moan. He slides his own hands beneath Sebastian's green boxer briefs, kneading at the flash, pulling him against him. Another moan.
"You know what I want," Blaine says, voice just as low and thick. He rolls his hips - one, two, three, four times - and watches with lust hooded eyes as Sebastian's mouth opens and a sound that isn't quite a moan nor a groan leaves him. He watches as his head tilts back and his eyes close, as he bites his red, swollen lips.
He never saw anyone more gorgeous in his life. That's what Blaine is thinking. That and more, more, more.
.
.
It's astounding really, that this man can still make him feel this way. That he can still get turned on so easily after all this time, after all they've done. That he can put him in a state where he forgets his own name, where he has to remind himself to breathe. Where everything else disappears and only thing left is the want; want that makes your whole body ache. For him, only for him.
Just a touch, a look, a word. Enough to ignite. A first spark and then everything is building building building - the way his arms feel, the look on his face, in his eyes, the heat, burning hot, the way he wants you just as much, you underneath, you above, slow, hard, fuck, aghh, baby, please, don't stop don't stop - until it explodes, breaks you apart, builds you up, turns you inside out.
.
.
Sebastian teases the head of his cock through the thin cotton material, circling his thumb over the head ever so lightly. Blaine arches into his hand and buries his face against his throat. Sebastian can feel him whimpering with need, squeezing at his back, his hips, his ass.
"Bas," Blaine pleads but Sebastian pulls his hand away again. He looks up and feels his lips brush over his own. Sebastian sucks his lower lip into his mouth and then releases it, pressing their lips together again. He slides his tongue into Blaine's mouth and it touches his briefly before he pulls back and quickly shifts his head to the side, leaving Blaine wanting. He swiftly pops two slices of mango inside his mouth before he's facing his husband again, smirking, eyebrow raised in a silent What?
"Asshole," Blaine says, tries to glare but his eyes roll back inside his head when Sebastian sneaks a hand in between their bodies again and grips him firmly through his briefs. He keeps rubbing in a slow, steady motions. Blaine's head falls on his shoulder and he moans against his skin, arms gripping tightly at his waist.
"You were saying?" Sebastian asks smugly.
It takes a long long moment for Blaine to answer but finally a broken "I hate you," leaves his mouth. He's starting to lose his mind. Again.
Sebastian chuckles lowly and adds pressure. He can't get enough of the noises that are escaping him. He feels Blaine's hand move from his waist and grip his ass, hard, and he moans and loses control over his own hips, grinding against his husband's solid body, right above his hip bone. "Fuck," he groans. Waves of pleasure run through him.
Blaine smirks against Sebastian's skin, kisses him and darts his tongue to taste. Salty. His eyes roll back again. Images flash before his eyes of moments that aren't yet memories. Moments that still linger in the here and now. "Bas." He needs more. The sensation is overwhelming, images are too fresh: his cock buried inside all that tight velvety heat, long legs pushed over his shoulders, feeling of sliding in and out of him, of watching his husband so needy, beautiful, coming undone. Fuck. He needs more. "Please."
Their eyes lock and Sebastian nods and in that same instant his briefs are pooled around his ankles and long fingers are wrapped around him. His other hand travels down his back and settles against his ass, squeezing in random intervals. They're kissing, and it's a little messy, very needy. Blaine sighs in relief and moans and Sebastian swallows all the sounds.
"Didn't you get enough today?" the tall man asks and the playfulness is lost beneath this desire that is between them, inside of them. He is as gone as Blaine is.
"Like you're the one -" he starts but he drifts off, too distracted by the feel of Sebastian grinding against him, by the sounds he's making, by the feel of his fingers around his length. "- the one to talk," he manages to finish and pulls Sebastian's briefs down as well and takes him in his hand.
Sebastian gasps, moans and kisses him. Their tongues slide and swirl, the heat inside them curls and coils. He lets go of him and Blaine whines, letting go as well. "I'll get you what you need," he promises hotly against his mouth before sucking his bottom lip between his teeth, licking his upper one.
Blaine's hips thrust forward. "Please."
Sebastian reaches down and cups his balls, rolling them inside his hand gently. Blaine's head falls against his shoulder, hands clenching against his waist, his arms, to steady himself. "You like that?" he asks in a low and thick voice. "Would you like me on my knees? Your cock inside my mouth?" Fuck fuck fuck. "Baby, look at me."
"Yes." And it's just about all he can manage.
Sebastian pecks the corner of his mouth. "I'll take care of you," and then he kisses him, long and hard. His stomach lurches, twists and then Sebastian is sliding to his knees, their eyes locked.
Blaine watches him as he licks his lips and smirks with greedy eyes just before pressing kisses against his hip bone, sucking at the skin. Sebastian turns his gaze back to his husband and traces the line of his leg with his right arm. Fingers moving from his ankle, along his shin, underneath his knee, his inner thigh. Fuck. Blaine feels his legs stiffen, his limbs are heavy with want, his knees buckle. He puts both of his hands on the island behind him, palms down, to brace himself. His breathing is ragged and already he has trouble catching his breath. Sebastian cups his ass and grips him at the base. He swipes the tip of his throbbing, leaking cock with his tongue and suckles lightly. He watches Blaine's eyes roll back inside his head as he groans out in pleasure.
"Fuck."
Blaine's fingers tangle inside his hair and he takes long slow licks up and down the shaft and across the slit. He loves this; the feel of Blaine's cock inside his mouth, the weight of him against his tongue, the taste of him, the scent. Blaine Blaine Blaine. All around him. It's fucking heavenly and he could do this forever. He sucks at the slit again, lapping the precum into his mouth and then circles the head with his tongue. Above him Blaine moans and gasps and whimpers. Each sound goes to his own aching cock and he shudders and moans. Blaine pushes forward and he holds him in place; not yet. Blaine's eyes are almost completely black and he looks wrecked. Beautiful. Sebastian's bobbing his head with his lips over the head, sucking on the tip, swirling his tongue around it, licking the shaft. He feels like he can't get enough of this, like he never will. He sucks and laps at his balls before wrapping his lips around the head again, sucking. He works his way slowly down the length, sucking more the lower he goes, twisting his hand around the base. Blaine's fingers are tangling deeper in his hair and they pull slightly and he moans. Fuck. Sebastian pulls off just to swipe few long strokes down the sensitive vein. He sucks gently at his balls again before he opens his mouth once more, taking him to the back of his throat.
Blaine moans constantly now. "God! So good. You're - Fuck." Blaine can feel himself getting closer. It's coming, coming, coming at him. Faster, closer, almost here. Sebastian has turned him into a complete whimpering, writhing, moaning mess. His head is spinning from the things his mouth is doing, his tongue, his fingers; there's no pattern to his movements - lick, suck, head, balls, shaft - it's random and it makes him dizzy. "Yes. God, baby - so good - just the way I like it." His eyes are heavy as he peers down and he fights to keep them open because it's such a glorious sight: Sebastian on his knees, red, swollen lips stretched around his cock, sweat beading against his forehead, eyes black, eyes that read hunger and sheer delight. "Bas, I'm - Fuck, I'm so close, I'm -"
Sebastian opens his throat and hums, swallowing him completely down. His hands cup at Blaine's ass, squeezing, kneading at the delicious flesh and in less than an instant the man above him surges forward. His hold on his hair is hard, holding him in place while he thrust his cock inside his mouth. Sebastian feels his eyes water a little but he doesn't care because Fuck, this feels so fucking good. And soon Blaine erupts with a cry, shuddering and shaking, spilling inside his mouth and he takes it all greedily, swallowing all down. He keeps moving over his length while the aftershocks are sweeping through Blaine's body until he's soft in his mouth. He pushes himself up on his feet and winces at the pain in his knees but it all slips away the moment he slams his lips against his husband's.
The shorter man is slumped against the island, still holding on because his legs are like jelly and he feels too dazed. His chest is heaving and his whole body is tingling, oversensitive. He's so blissfully drained, filled only with that light, giddy, post-orgasmic haze but he responds eagerly to Sebastian's kiss. He winds his arms around his neck, pulling himself on his toes, chasing the taste of himself in his husband's mouth. A soft moan escapes from the back of his throat. "You're incredible," Blaine tells him. "Always so good for me," and feels Sebastian whimper. He follows the lines of his beauty marks with his lips and his tongue; under his jaw, his neck, the curve of his throat, his shoulder, his chest. Blaine feels him shiver, feels his fingers digging deeper in his flesh. He caresses his back before leaning up and pressing another kiss to his lips. He hears him moan loudly against his ear when he runs his fingers along his painfully throbbing length.
"Blaine." He starts to rub against him with feverish intensity. There's no control left when he ruts against his lower abdomen, against his hips.
Blaine starts to get slightly dizzy again; the feel of Sebastian's hard and leaking cock, the moans and groans against his ear are turning him on again and Fuck. He feels one of his hands squeeze his ass and his fingers move along the crack. He whimpers and manages to turn around, bending his body over the island. Immediately he receives what he wanted. Sebastian's cock rutting hard against his ass. Fuck. Fiery bolts of pleasure shoot through him and he feels him fold his body over his own, feels his hand around his waist holding him tightly, feels his other one find his own above his head and their fingers twine together. Sebastian kisses his shoulder, his back. He hears Blaine Blaine Blaine against his skin between moans and groans. The noises go higher, lower then deeper, mixing together, making his cock twitch uselessly. His heartbeat is roaring in his ears, his body squirms and without thinking he pushes back. He can barely think at all, the sensation of Sebastian's cock rutting against him rolls through him, overtaking everything. He feels him nearing the edge. Faster, faster, faster; arm tightening around him, hand squeezing hand. Sounds lodge in his throat and there's a moment of silence before he cries out, groans, his whole body jerks and spasms and he is coming across his ass and the small of his back in long hot spurts.
"Damn, killer," Sebastian pants against his shoulder and they kiss, messily and smiling. Blaine can feel the body above him quiver with aftershocks.
.
Sebastian straightens up, pulling Blaine gently with him. The shorter man turns in his arms and they kiss. Long, slow, deep kisses.
.
"You're driving me crazy," Blaine whispers against his lips, breathless.
Sebastian chuckles, breathless as well. "Good," he smirks, "Because you, Blaine Anderson-Smythe, are still sex on a stick."
Blaine chuckles and shakes his head affectionately. "You're ridiculous," and pulls him down for another kiss. Sebastian hums into it and they melt into each other. When they break away, Sebastian is smiling down on him, caressing his cheek with his thumb, with an earnest look in his eyes. It takes Blaine's breath away.
"But seriously," he starts, "From the first moment I saw you you had me." Blaine feels his cheeks heat up. No matter how many times he heard Sebastian say this to him he can't help but blush. "Even in that ridiculous cardigan and with dangerous amount of hair ge-" Blaine cuts him off for a short moment by hitting his chest playfully. "- gell," Sebastian completes his thought with a chuckle and then presses a small, gentle kiss against his lips. "I mean it, even with all that you were still the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen." Blaine buries his head into Sebastian's chest and circles his arms around him. He feels Sebastian do the same. "And you still are," he whispers against his ear and the only thing Blaine can do is tighten his hold on his husband. He feels stinging behind his eyes. He can't help it; despite the playfulness, the emotion in his voice is unmistakable, the look in his eyes open and honest. "Well, the only difference, you are a man now," he adds with a chuckle.
.
.
Every time Sebastian would see him he was flooded with this odd feeling; like being completely enthralled. In all honestly, he expected it to go away. But it didn't. Not then. Not during all these years. Blaine Anderson is still as captivating as ever. More so, Sebastian is sure.
.
.
Blaine pulls back just a little and lifts himself on his toes to kiss him. "You're not so bad yourself," he teases against Sebastian's lips.
The taller man chuckles and squeezes at his waist. "Not so bad?" he asks. "Come now, killer, we both know you can do better than that."
Blaine feels his fingers playing with his curls and his own fingers are tracing light patterns across his husband's chest. "What do you want me to say?" he asks innocently, looking up through his eyelashes. He sees as Sebastian's body twitches under his light touches.
Sebastian slides one hand down his back and rests it against the curve of his ass, pressing gently. "You know I love hearing how hot I am," he says playfully and wiggles his eyebrows.
Blaine chuckles with a, "Yeah, I know," and presses few kisses against his chest. His tongue laps over one of his nipples and Sebastian gasps, the other hand cupping his ass as well, gripping tighter. Blaine gasps into a smile and pecks the corner of his mouth. "You know you're hot," he says, "But you're beautiful as well," he adds. Sebastian's cheeks tint with a rosy color but Blaine has no time to marvel in it because he is being kissed again.
And they kiss and kiss and kiss. Soft and gentle, deep and long.
.
"Stay," Blaine says when Sebastian makes a move to pull away. His voice is quiet, a little sleepy. Sebastian chuckles but only tightens his hold on his husband.
Blaine feels a kiss being placed on top of his head. "We should shower," Sebastian says. "We're a mess," he adds playfully.
Blaine can't help but chuckle because yes, they are a mess. "I know."
.
They stand in the middle of the kitchen like that for another minute or two. Naked, sticky, wrapped around each other, content and happy. Blaine inhales deeply. Kitchen is bathing in an intoxicating, unforgettable smell of sex and sweat, fruit and cookies. The oven is still radiating heat and Nat King Cole is crooning Silent Night from the small iPod docking station.
"I'm so happy," Blaine says and is stunned, not for the first time, by how true that statement is. Not just happy right now or today but just happy. Happiness as a state of his being, something that makes him who he is. Blaine Anderson: a musician, an actor, a husband, a brother, a son, an uncle, a friend; sometimes shy, sometimes cocky, quietly stubborn, determined, excitable, in love, happy.
He looks up and is met with a soft kiss before those green eyes twinkle with playfulness once again. "And you didn't even open your presents yet," Sebastian teases and receives few tickles at his sides as a punishment. He grins when the taller man yelps and squirms and then hugs him again, wide smile on his lips.
"Shut up," he mumbles against his skin and feels Sebastian's arms around him, feels a kiss on top of his head, feels his fingers grazing lightly up and down his spine.
.
.
It overwhelms him sometimes, this kind of happiness. Not just being aware of how much he loves Sebastian, but knowing that he loves him just as much. That absolute certainty washes over him at random moments and they're almost overpowering. When he wakes up on some mornings, opening his eyes slowly and being greeted by his husband's still sleeping form. His breath hitches then and his heart speeds up, his chest expanding with pure love. It can happen when they're dressing up for work or for a night out. It can happen during breakfast or in the middle of a supermarket while he's deciding on what brand or what type of olives to buy. It can hit him, just like that, out of the blue, that conviction, that sureness in them. All he needs in moments like those is to wrap his arms tightly around Sebastian. All he needs is to be held. It's needy, he knows, but when it comes to him, Sebastian is just the same.
With someone else, Blaine would be too afraid to ask, silently or in words, for what he desires, for what he longs for. With someone else, Sebastian would yearn for freedom and separation. But their secret is this: no matter how different they are they need each other just as much, they want each other just as much; their love is the same. And that, Blaine knows, is quite remarkable.
.
.
"Come on," Sebastian says softly, "Before you fall asleep on me here." Blaine smiles and nods against his chest. Sebastian takes his hand in his own and they make their way to the bathroom.
.
.
Happy, he really is. Happy and in love; still. Down to his bones, to all the cells and atoms, to his very essence.
.
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"What?" Blaine asks, meeting Sebastian's eyes in the mirror. He's been putting some balm in his hair to prevent his curls from frizzing but got distracted by tracing little bites and bruises along his skin. Sebastian is brushing his teeth so he just shakes his head but his eyes are alight and he wiggles his eyebrows a little. Blaine chuckles and the next thing he feels is a big, wet, foamy kiss being pressed against his cheek. "Hey!" he yelp but grins just the same.
Sebastian spits out and washes his mouth before meeting Blaine's eyes in the mirror again, smirking. "I see you're admiring my work."
Blaine shakes his head, chuckles but feels blush spreading across his cheeks. He looks at himself again and his fingers trace a few marks on his neck and one beneath his jaw. He bites his lower lip when memories wash over him. "There's no hiding these tomorrow," he says but the smile can't quite leave his lips, "Even with high collar."
"Sorry," Sebastian apologizes sounding not the least bit sorry. He leans against the sink and pulls Blaine between his legs. "Besides," he starts and then his voice dips lower, "You did quite the number on me as well."
Blaine takes a look at his husbands pale skin and can't help but smirk when he sees how marked he is as well. He traces his fingers lightly across his chest, his neck, connecting love imprints with his beauty marks. "I did, didn't I?" he comments smugly but then a wide smile stretches across his face and he kisses him. And they fall into it.
"You most certainly did," Sebastian agrees in a breathless voice and pulls him closer. They circle their arms around each other and Blaine buries his face in his husbands neck. "You know they won't be able to help themselves tomorrow, right?"
Blaine smiles against his skin. "I know, but I don't care." He brushes his lips before pressing few kisses and inhales. "But that doesn't mean I won't be the color of a stop sign." They both laugh lightly at that. He feels Sebastian's fingers lazily moving up and down his spine, as if counting the vertebrates.
"I don't mind," Sebastian says after kissing his temple. "That whole bashful thing is still super hot," he says, slight smirk unmistakable in his voice.
"Good." He pulls away just so. To peck at the corner of his mouth, to tease his lips with his tongue before capturing them in a hard, deep kiss. A kiss that takes their breath away, that stops their hearts, that makes the world around them dissolve and evaporate into nothing but a warm, weightless air.
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They stay enveloped like that, arms wrapped around each other, breathing, fingers ghosting and grazing over the flesh.
"I can't believe it's been two years," Blaine says quietly.
"Eleven," Sebastian corrects him and when they look at each other there is an awe glazed over their eyes.
"That I can believe even less," Blaine comments with a smile.
"Well," Sebastian starts and stops only to kiss him softly on the lips, "Time flies when you're having fun."
Blaine kisses him too then and holds him tightly. What a truth that is.
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Blaine thinks about two tubes of toothpaste that always sit in a glass beside the sink. He thinks about two cartons of milk in their refrigerator. He thinks how worried he was for a short amount of time years ago when he realized that both of them had a few quirks they were very militant about and wouldn't let go no matter what. It was silly, he knows that now, but he'd heard stories about couples arguing over brand of orange juice only for that continuous fight to escalate resulting in a break up.
Those were the months clouded in thoughts of compromise, of figuring out where the line of give-and-take has to be drawn, of trying to differentiate between serious and silly, surrendering and losing yourself. Months spent thinking and over thinking.
Blaine smiles when he remembers Sebastian coming home one day from the store with two boxes of toothpaste, putting them both by the sink with a simple, "We'll just have two. Raspberry Mint for you and Spearmint for me." Blaine had to laugh at himself because that hadn't even crossed his mind.
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He smiles to himself because he thinks how lucky they are that they don't fight with each other. He wonders about that sometimes, though. He'd been especially thinking about that one evening four or five years ago.
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He was out with a group of people; few of his close friends, the others nothing more than acquaintances. At some point conversation inevitably focused on relationships so he was asked if he and Sebastian fight. He took a moment and then smiled when he realized what the answer was. "No, not really," he said. He didn't know why he'd been asked that question, if maybe it was because they have different personalities, but the girl - Irene - frowned. Later, he heard her comment how relationships where partners don't fight usually lack passion. He was all ready to tell her that that is not the case but it turned out he didn't have to since Annie was more than happy to let all of them know how lack of passion is definitely not an issue in his and Sebastian's relationship. She didn't leave any room for doubt and Blaine was blushing but didn't even think of denying anything Annie had said.
Later, at home, he told Sebastian all about it and the taller man laughed. A full-body, head-thrown-back, face-splitting laugh. And Blaine had to laugh as well, because really, who cares what other people think? What do they know about them?
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And it's not like they don't fight at all. Life has a way of throwing things at you, of pulling you down and apart. It's on days like those, when they're tired and miss each other, that moments explode sometimes. When dirty laundry gets piled up, when refrigerator is empty and dishwasher hasn't been cleaned. They erupt at each other, throwing their forgotten responsibilities back at one another. It never lasts long; half an hour, an hour. The tension breaks away when they look at each other, see each other, and read how exhausted they are and how much they long just to be together. They hug and go to bed, making a plan of putting a day aside, to go over the things that were left forgotten and neglected together, before the sleep overtakes them. Sometimes though, their arguments turn so absurd with the things that come out of their mouths that they end up laughing like idiots, realizing full well how ridiculous they're being.
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"I don't think it's possible to be any happier than I am right now," Blaine says against his husbands neck and kisses the spot where his heart is pulsing; he can feel it under his lips. Sebastian chuckles at his cheesiness but Blaine doesn't care. Especially since it's the truth.
"I don't know," Sebastian muses, "I think it's possible." There's this playful certainty in his voice that peaks his curiosity.
"Oh?" He inquires and searches his face for an answer, or at least a clue, but finds nothing except a smirk and knowing, amused look in his eyes. "No, I'm standing by my statement. Not possible." He smiles and his heart starts beating faster from excitement and anticipation. He knows that expression, he knows that look in his husband's eyes.
Sebastian pulls him closer and slides their mouths together in a lazy, slow, indulgent kiss. "I'm pretty sure it is possible." Another kiss. "Actually, I know it's possible."
"What did you get me?" He can't help but ask even though he knows he won't get any real answer.
"You'll just have to wait and see," Sebastian all but sing-songs and kisses him again when he notices a pout on his lips. "Not going to work," he whispers playfully while peppering kisses across his cheeks, along his jaw, his neck.
"Bas," Blaine pleads lightheartedly even though he doesn't really mind waiting.
"Ah-ah," he shakes his head. "No presents until midnight," he reminds him. "Your idea, killer." Blaine is greeted by another kiss on his lips. "Come on. We should get dressed, I'm starving. And there's a whole rack of cookies in the kitchen."
At the mention of cookies Blaine realizes how hungry he is as well. "Okay," he allows playfully, "I guess I can wait two hours."
Sebastian smiles, winks at him and leaves the bathroom. Blaine looks at himself in the mirror and is faced with an image of a person with a ridiculously wide smile plastered across his face. He has no idea what Sebastian did or has planned but he is sure in one thing: he will fall even more in love with him when the clock strikes midnight.
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Blaine walks back into the living room and smiles seeing his husband's long body spread on the sofa, right where he left him. He looks at him and smiles sleepily, holding out his hand in silent invitation.
"Miss me already?" Blaine asks while snuggling against him.
"Maybe," Sebastian teases, closes his eyes and stretches before settling down again, pulling Blaine closer to him. "Who was it?" he asks about a phone call.
"Annie. She just wanted to make sure it was okay for her and her sister to come over tomorrow."
Sebastian rolls his eyes fondly. "We wouldn't have invited her if they weren't welcomed."
"I reminded her of that." Blaine says. "Oh, she was surprised I picked up."
Sebastian chuckles. "Smartass."
"Yeah, she is," Blaine agrees fondly.
They fall into the comfortable silence, both of them perfectly content to just being together. Blaine feels Sebastian's fingers playing with his curls while his own are exploring the relief map of his body, currently hidden underneath his shirt; he's following the contours of his ribs, his muscles, his hip bones, committing everything to memory once again.
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Maybe the reason why their relationship is so fluid is because they talk a lot, because they've always talked a lot. Or more importantly, because they listen. Or maybe because they learned long time ago to never take good things for granted and because they both still remember what it felt like not being in each other's lives. They'd gotten a glimpse of a life without the other and they never forgot how much that hurt, how less their lives were.
Didn't they hurt each other enough before they'd even gotten together? That was more than enough pain and regret to last a lifetime. Who says that drama adds depth to love?
They're not arrogant to think they're the only ones who have found real love but they also know it's a rare treasure, this kind of happiness; love that feels as if their innermost selves are woven together. They would've been able to live without each other, of course, but wouldn't that be a half life? A wrong life? Wouldn't they feel trapped? Would they be able to be all that they are with anyone else? No, they wouldn't and Blaine knows that as surely as he knows that the sun will rise in the east tomorrow.
Maybe the reason their relationship flows so seamlessly is because of the simple fact that they know each other. Because they fell in love with the most real versions of each other.
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Blaine is still tracing patterns across Sebastian's warm skin but can't help but squirm a little when he realizes they are less than twenty minutes away from midnight. Sebastian covers his hand with his own, his fingers grazing softly and playfully.
"Want something?" he asks lightly.
"Maybe?" Blaine responds in a similar tone. Sebastian pulls him over him and Blaine easily makes himself comfortable lying above his husband, chin resting against his chest. "Please," he says lovingly as they look into each other eyes.
Sebastian hums for a moment. "I guess we can bend the rules just a little." He laughs affectionately when shorter man's eyes open wider. Blaine shifts to move off the sofa. "And where do you think you're going?" Sebastian asks and holds tightly.
Blaine's brow furrows slightly in confusion. "So you can go get it?" he says with a slight upward intonation since he knows the only presents under the tree are the ones for their guests tomorrow.
"No need," Sebastian answers and an amused smirk paints his face. Blaine stays where he is, lying above him, but still confused. He searches Sebastian's face for an answer but doesn't find one; he does however feel his heart beating faster under his ribcage. His confusion grows as the smirk falls from his face and a serious expression sets in its place. Sebastian shifts into a sitting position and pulls him with him. His eyes are open and earnest and full of love and Blaine trembles simply because of the way he's looking at him. He's sitting on his knees and feels his husband's long fingers spread across his cheeks, thumb stroking gently. Their eyes lock and Blaine forgets to breathe. "I'm ready," Sebastian says. Serious and honest while the corners of his lips twitch.
It takes a long long moment for Blaine to realize what he's talking about; long enough for the amusement to once again paints Sebastian's face. He chuckles when he sees Blaine's eyebrows shot upwards and his eyes opening even wider.
"You - you - are you-?" Blaine has trouble speaking so Sebastian takes pity on him. He kisses him, soft and then hard and then soft again.
"Yes, I'm ready to be a dad," he says and smiles a little to himself. "Well, as much as anyone can be-" But then he's cut off because Blaine is on his lap, kissing him and kissing him and kissing him. They smile against each other's lips. "I guess I was right," Sebastian reminds in between smiles and kisses, "It is possible to be happier."
"Oh, shush," Blaine retorts and just kisses him again.
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Last time they talked about kids was eight months ago. It was a short conversation following a fight; in Blaine's opinion, their only real fight. Nothing particularly nasty was said but that was the only time they didn't look at each other.
It was Friday night, it was too late, they were too tired and tipsy. Frustrations of the days past had accumulated; they hadn't spent any real amount of time with one another for a whole week. It was the worst possible time to bring up any serious topic but Blaine wasn't able to stop himself. Children, something what was always going to happen in the future, was suddenly all he could think about. He had simply woken up that morning in April and realized that the future had arrived. He'd been excited all throughout that day, thinking but not thinking about it and when they'd gotten home it just spilled from him. But one word from Sebastian, just the way he said his name, and he recoiled. And disconnect happened. Sebastian felt like he was being pushed into something without even having a say in the matter, Blaine felt like that was only his way of saying No. No kids.
They didn't fall into each other's arms then, nor did they laugh; Sebastian walked out, slamming the door and Blaine just slid against the wall, tears falling down his cheeks. For the next couple of hours there were no silver linings in those dark clouds. He completely forgot that they had talked about kids before and that Sebastian was more than open to it, he forgot how much the idea of being a parent scared him, how it cut down to all his insecurities. There isn't a person on this earth who has everything they want, so why would he be an exception? That was all he could think about. In his warped, drunken, clouded mind, children were that one thing he will never have.
He fell asleep in a guest room, unable to even contemplate the idea of sleeping in their bed. He dreamed restless dreams, dreams that were vague and unclear, dreams that filled his body with panic and dread. Dreams that suddenly stopped and he woke up only to feel a long body pressed against his back, wrapped around him, and strong arms holding him incredibly tight. He tried to turn around but Sebastian pulled him closer, "Shhh, it's okay," he whispered against his ear. "We'll talk in the morning. I love you." Tears of relief fell from his eyes and they kissed over his shoulder. "I love you too," he said.
In the morning they apologized to one another, over and over and over again, until they had to laugh at themselves. "I'm not ready," Sebastian said. "But I will be, I promise. I want a family with you." And Blaine knew, the time will come, because Sebastian never breaks his promises.
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Blaine tears himself away from kissing, kissing, kissing just to look at his husband. "Are you sure?" he asks, "Because if you-"
Sebastian cuts him off with a kiss. "I am," he assures but adds. "I'm scared, yes, but I'm ready."
Blaine smiles lovingly at him, and laces their fingers together. "I am too," he admits. "And you will be an amazing dad." He brings their joined hands to his lips and kisses at his knuckles.
"I hope so," Sebastian's voice wavers a little and Blaine sees him swallow before his gaze drops. He tilts his head up and looks him straight in the eyes, determined for Sebastian to her him. "I know so." And not for the first time Sebastian finds himself thinking how lucky he is to have a person that not only loves him but has so much faith in him. "All you need to do is love her," he adds, because he knows what it feels like to be loved by this man and there's nothing greater than that.
Sebastian takes in his words but then smirks. "Oh, so it's a she now?"
Blaine shrugs and smiles. "Or a he. I don't care."
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Blaine has spent these past eight months thinking about that, thinking about a lot of things he never really though about before. Practical things, decisions that will have to be made; will they stay in the city or move to the suburbs, will they adopt or use a surrogate, what he'll do with his career since he's sure going on tours is out of the question. He talked to his agent and manager, he did research, he read and read; he did all the things he knew Sebastian was doing as well. They didn't talk about it, but he knew.
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Sebastian smiles back at him. "Yeah, me neither," and captures their lips in another heart soaring kiss. "Do me a favor," he says breathlessly when they break away, "Look beneath the sofa." Blaine narrows his eyes in confusion but does as Sebastian asked and pulls a box, wrapped in a shiny red paper. After a nod, he opens it and is greeted with papers, research papers much like the ones he has piled up. "I know you were doing it as well so we can compare and make de-" He is interrupted by warm, soft lips against his own.
"Thank you," Blaine says, suddenly starting to feel that all too familiar stinging in his eyes. "Not just for this or for today but for everything. You make me so happy, baby." He smiles and kisses his husband before tears start falling.
"Right back at you, killer," Sebastian says playfully but his voice is thick and almost cracking as well. "And one more thing," he starts and slides Blaine's body closer, arms wrapped securely around him, his eyes shining with amusement and truth. "I know our lives are going to change but I don't want this to change. I don't want us to change." Blaine nods and a tear escapes, sliding down his cheek and he wipes it with a back of his hand.
"My sentiments exactly," he says against Sebastian's lips in a voice that is thick and light all at the same time.
"Good," Sebastian grins, "I guess our kids will just have to learn to live with a lot of PDA."
Blaine chuckles and grins as well, not missing the plural noun his husband used. "I have no problem with that."
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They fall into another series of kisses, breaking away only to look at each other, only to smile, both of them filled with realization that this is another beginning.
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Happily ever after does exist. And it's happening now, in this very moment. It's in the present, inside both of them. Forever after always in that space between their hearts. Blaine will never know what force brought them together. Was it fate? Chaos? Happenstance? Luck? But he does know one thing: He would always find Sebastian. If they were bees or bears, atoms or sea lions, they would always find each other.
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the end.
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thank you for reading
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if you can, please let me know what you think