Jacob sits on the cold sand at the end of First Beach. It's the middle of summer, the beach half-filled with tourists. A tall, slender woman in a white eyelet bikini spots him and smiles. Jacob can't bring himself to smile back. It's been two years since he's last seen Bella. Two years without a phone call, letter, or even a measly text message. No hey Jacob, I'm a bloodsucker now, thought I'd let you know. No Jacob, I'm sorry, I never wanted it to end this way. No whispers of I love you, Jake falling from her trembling lips. No, Jacob can't bring himself to smile back at the beautiful girl sitting on the sand. He can't even bring himself to get up in the morning.
He cradles his head in his too large hands and wipes at the tears threatening to spill over. He refuses to give in, refuses to let people think of him as weak. He's Alpha of a pack of bloodsucker-killing wolves for Christ's sake. How can anyone take him seriously if he's crying over a former teenage love affair?
Jacob looks up and stares at the horizon, where the blue grey of the ocean and the sky meet. He watches the waves dance along the shore beckoning for the young children to come out and play. He gets up, wipes the sand from his clothes and walks over to a lonely piece of driftwood that has seen better days.
He touches the bark, traces over the two names carved into it like an old tattoo. It seemed so long ago that he was sitting here on this branch with the girl he loved, skillfully engraving Jacob & Bella into the driftwood with his hand-me-down pocket knife.
Old repressed memories resurface and hit Jacob like a ton of bricks. He crouches down and grabs onto the bark to keep from falling over. His heart thrashes wildly against his rib cage, wanting to erupt from the vacant hole in his chest. Air is hard to come by, and Jacob feels as if he's drowning on land, suffocating and no one is around to help him. He's panting now, grasping for as much oxygen as he can, little beads of sweat dripping from his forehead. This panic attack wasn't so bad; he spends the majority of his nights tossing and turning pleading for her to stay, begging her to not leave. Every morning he awakes with a cold sweat, sheets toppled over, and a pillowcase wet with fresh tears.
Jacob knows he can't hold it in much longer. He sits on the piece of driftwood, like he's done hundreds of times in the past with her, and he releases the dam of tears he's been holding back. A tear for each time his heart has been broken by Bella Swan. A tear for each day that goes by without a word from her. A tear for the life they could have shared together – a simple wedding on First Beach, two black-haired children with milk chocolate eyes, bonfires with the pack and Charlie. Jacob envisions it all, but it was never his to have.
Bella Swan belongs to Edward Cullen now, and Jacob doesn't even possess a corner of her heart. He figures it's useless anyway since her heart has most likely stopped beating.
Until your heart stops beating, Bella, he had once told her.Oh how he wishes that were the true, but deep down he knows the truth is he will always love her, until his heart stops beating.