I do not own anything just the words in the story not the people or any of that. I am leaving it T because no foul words no death none of that just sad emotions. The story is actually 666 words long did that on purpose. Have fun.
You may ask yourself how one whom could be called friend could tear away everything that you are. How they knowingly could gain your trust and love and then shatter your soul. I myself in fact wonder how this could be done. I truly have no answer just the left over numb feeling that comes when your whole being is broken in moments of truth, rage, and agony.
It is as if a baseball was thrown through a window but you can't replace the window. If you try to pick up the pieces of the glass you end up with cuts and bleeding. This is the way I feel as of now but I hate myself because he used me in the worst of ways yet I still care for him and would willingly allow him to use me like that again. He is kryptonite to me, he will never love me, never care, but I care and I love him. I hate myself for that, it would be better to stay far, far away from him.
Leaving this entire plight behind me to rot in the past where it belongs. The rolling emotions, each one pleads, or demands to be recognized, to be given voice and a chance to speak. But I know to lose control again would destroy everything. I play at the normalcy that I am supposed to be, the way people believe I should be, only because they do not know what has happened. Even some who do know wish to force me to face the thing that could possibly end my life.
They would have me stand before what broke me in the first place and face my deceiving heart and my broken soul. Not even in my own mind am I safe. The memories of him come and force me to look at them again and again. I still dream of him, still miss him.
"I'm a man, I have urges." He says to me "I was weak, I can no longer say I saved myself for the one I'm meant to be with." "You, were, a, m.i.s.t.a.k.e." The words roll like cold ice in my veins. Turning my blood to frost but also setting in aflame. Again I hide myself behind the stronger anger to hide the tears that wish to fall down to the ground. I state it aloud biting back tears "Damn it if I don't stay angry I'll start crying." He simply says doing either will hurt our friendship.
He blames himself and I will let him. He can burn for his sins, for he hurt me in ways words and emotions can never express. I am and will remain broken inside, dead and numb for months to come. None can truly understand me just as I cannot truly know them.
I am half a human and half a demon. I was deceived by one whom could change to suit his mood. One who did this to get what he wanted from me. With words so smooth and lovely he got me to follow to trust to love. I dropped my guard and pain is what I got. Suffering was my true gift for my foolishness. Never again will I allow another to do this to me.
So I will stay away I will leave, I have no choice left. A game was played and I never knew it was a game till it had already finished. It was wrong and I was treated unfairly. I did not deserve this kind of a fate. I did not ask for this hell or pain. I was a friend, and if he could do this to a friend I fear for his enemies. This was never supposed to happen. When I is said and done this was a fault by all, he for not caring and I for being so blind to all that he did. I cannot forgive or forget what was done to me by him.