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Summary: Add one crazy potty mouthed punk girl; mix in 38 cups of alcoholic drinks, and then stir in two psycho killers. Blend well and had a hint of sexual tension for flavor.

Name: Uzanahi Kyoko

Age: 16

Personality: Bad ass, potty mouthed, punker with a big fucking attitude. Don't forget that crazy style of clothes.

Abilities: None, except the ability to beat the living hell out of any one that annoys the shit out of her

Dislikes: everything basically except alcohol, fights, and music

Favorite line: "Fuck the fucking fuckers!"

Hair color: black with red highlights and purple and blue bangs

Eye color: emerald green and wears red color contacts

Tattoos: a dragon on her upper right arm (looks like a bangle), a exotic design with the words "Back off bitch, I bite" in red on her left thigh, and the Japanese symbol for fire on her left wrist

Piercing: belly button ring, multiple earring on each ear (4 on left, 6 on right), tongue

Ingredients to your living hell

Chapter One: Free at last, free at last!

The judge watched the girl carefully and finally declared, "Uzanahi Kyoko, you are here by declared innocent by the jury and is now an innocent citizen of New York City."

A sixteen year old girl stared back at the judge in shock. "Are you fucking kidding me? I'm free! Free at last, free at last!"

Kyoko jumped up from her chair whooping and yelling that she was finally free from hell. The judge sighed and muttered, "We should have just declared her innocent in the beginning to save us from this headache."

Walking out of the court room she was greeted by her parents. "MOM! DAD! I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

She launched herself at her parents and her mother released a relieved sigh. Her father smiled and handed her some money.

"Go out and have a day of fun dear. Just don't go and do anything crazy okay?"

Her eyes went all teary and she flung herself at her father. "Thank you so much dad!" Then she rushed off into the crowded streets of New York City.

In the Naruto World

Two killers stood over all the fallen bodies and one of them smirked.

"Oi, Itachi, today's going to be a good day!"

Itachi stared back at his partner in disagreement. Then he shook his handsome head and said, "I have a strange feeling something bad will happen soon."

Back with the crazy bad mouthed Kyoko

Kyoko ran through the crowded streets towards her destination. Kicking the door open she screamed,

"MIKEY I'M FREE FROM THAT CRAZY FUCKING HEL-!"

Before the crazy girl could continue the door slammed shut in her face.

Getting up off the floor she glared at the swinging door and ran in yelling, "Why the hell did you ever getting a swinging door?"

Mikey shrugged nonchalantly and asked, "The usual Kyoko?"

Her insane grin was enough to make anyone cringe in fear. "FUCK YEAH!"

6 hours later…

A drinking Kyoko was not a good thing. A drunk and intoxicated Kyoko was like unleashing the apocalypse upon the world.

At this moment though, 38 cups of empty shot glasses were all over the counter and Kyoko was singing "Hollaback girl" by Gwen Stefani, and just to say, she was singing it mighty off key. Singing was never one of her strong points at least when she was drunk. Dancing, drinking, cussing, and beating the shit out of people were her only strong points. When she was sober, she had the voice of an angel.

"THE SHIT IS BANANAS! B-A-N-A-N-A-S! I SAID THE SHIT IS BANANAS! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"

"GOD DAMN IT KYOKO, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"WEEE! LOOK AT ME! I'm Mikey with a 2 inch dick! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"I don't know why I even let you drink. You're way under aged."

"IT'S BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME!"

2 hours later…

"Kyoko, maybe you should go home. It's 10:30 at night. Maybe I should drive you home."

"Aww, heelll nooo. I caann –hiccup- take care o-hiccup-f myself!"

With that, Kyoko got out of her seat and walked out of the bar. Her long waist length hair fluttered in the wind. 'Ugh, my head fudging hurts like a mommy fudger.' Her red eyes scanned the street names trying to make the world stop spinning. Her long black pants with chains and rips did no good at protecting her from the harsh wind. Her black half top shirt had slits in it too, so no good there. At the moment, Kyoko was intoxicated and utterly lost.

'Oh wow, I didn't know my bangs were blue and purple.'

She trudged through the streets of New York. It was really bad to be going out like this at night. She looked up at the sky and gasped at the falling 'snow.'

She stuck her tongue out and ate whatever the hell it was.

'Taste like sugar.'

All of a sudden she felt a little light headed and then collapsed on the streets. Her last thoughts were,

'God damn, I think I'm going fucking puke.'

Morning time in Naruto world

Kyoko's POV

'Oh my fucking god, I think I'm going to fucking puke.' I thought to myself. I rolled over on the soft ground so my face looked up to the sky. Why was it so bright? Why the hell did my head hurt like a bitch? I got up and almost immediately regretted getting up. I fell back down and moaned in pain. How much worse could this get?

"Damn all that fucking tequila."

I closed my eyes hoping my head would stop spinning. When was New York ever this bright in fall? When was it really this quiet? I could actually hear birds. In my part of the city all the birds choked and died of air pollution. The sun was shining and I was lying in the middle of no where. I sighed and thought, 'Is it normal to fall asleep in the middle of New York City and then wake up in the woods?'

No it isn't.

Holy shit! Who the hell are you?

I'm you, that's who.

Hey, that rhymes. If you're me, then who am I? Damn, I'm confused.

-Sigh- I'm your conscience.

Really? AWESOME!

You're a twit.

HEY! AM NOT! Wait, if you call me a twit isn't that like calling yourself a twit?

…

HA!

I stopped talking to my conscience and tried sitting up again. It really hurt my head, but I finally got up and looked around. 'Trees, trees, rock, bunny, trees, duck, dead dude, trees, trees, two dudes in black cloaks, trees…wait what the fuck!' I looked back in shock. NO FUCKING WAY! IT WAS A FUCKING PURPLE DUCK! So fucking awesome! (A/N: XD)

I looked around and laid back down on the ground and said, "Someone give me some fucking Advil."

After a few minutes I shot back up and said out loud, "Dead dude? What the fucking hell?"

I turned back and looked at the two dudes in black cloaks. They wore straw hats and one was carrying a huge sword. 'Those hats totally clash with the cloaks. God, guys have no sense of fashion these days. Then again, I have no idea why my hair is black, red, blue, and purple.'

The men in black walked over to me as I sat on the floor looking at them. After a few minutes of silence, I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped up and yelled,

"WELL FUCKING SAY SOMETHING! GOD JESUS! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

After I finished yelling I let myself fall back down on my ass with a small 'oomph.' I glared at the two and finally they took of their hats.

One of them had some dead sexy red eyes and the other one was, well…Eww. I glared at them both and finally I said, "Well answer my damn question."

Then something clicked in my head. 'Red eyes, black hair, red and black cloak with clouds on it. Humongous sword, blue skin, shark face...' My eyes widened in shock. I looked back from both of them and finally said softly, "Akatsuki…"

Itachi's POV

Kisame and I were killing off the last of the ninjas when we heard something about 20 feet from us. Killing off the final ninja, we walked over to find a girl with strange hair color. Her clothes were indecent and she was lying on the ground mumbling incoherent things.

Finally she sat up and said something like, "Dead dude, what the fuck?" Her gaze landed on us and she stared. A variety of emotions ran through her blood red eyes, confusion, disapproval, more confusion, and last of all anger.

She jumped up and started screaming, "WELL FUCKING SAY SOMETHING! GOD JESUS! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Right after she finished yelling she fell right back down and glared at us.

After a few minutes, she finally said, "Well answer my damn question."

We stared at her and she stared back. Finally, realization passed through her eyes and one word left her mouth, "Akatsuki…"

I smirked as fear came to her face. I took a step towards her and she glared at me. My smirk never left my face as I said, "Girl, either she was very brave, or very foolish."

She jumped up and said, "I have a name you know." She pointed an accusing finger at myself and Kisame. Kisame watched her, his left eye began to twitch. Kisame probably wanted to kill the girl for screaming so much. Silence settled over us until she got up and walked over to a tree and repeatedly banged her head on the tree.

Kisame looked at her with confusion and I arched my brow at watch she was doing. I was going to say something till I heard her say, "This has got to be a fucking dream. I just drank way too much alcohol, and now I'm in a fucking comatose and I'll be waking up very soon."

Kyoko's POV

I repeatedly banged my head on the tree mumbling to myself. I couldn't believe this. This was just a really fucked up dream. There was no way THE Uchiha Itachi and THE Hoshigaki Kisame of THE Akatsuki were standing in front of her.

'No fucking way is this true. If they're freaking psycho killers, why aren't I dead yet? Why the hell am I talking to myself?'

I finally stopped banging my head against the tree, and turned back to them. I watched them for a few seconds and then said out loud, "I swear, I must be fucking sedated or something."

I started to pace back and forth and then finally, I realized something. If this was real, and I really was in the Naruto world, how the hell did I get here?

One thing registered in my mind, 'That damn sugary snow!' I gave and exasperated sigh and mumbled, "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have gone drinking."

I turned and glared at the two Akatsuki members and yelled, "STOP FUCKING STARING! IT'S VERY IMPOLITE YOU DAMN BITCHES!"

I gave another sigh and plopped down on my butt. I looked at them and then stared at the ground. Never in my life have I felt so confused. I was just used to being crazy and wild. I never really thought of anything else. Half the time I was drunk anyways, and the other half I was in jail because of fighting and under age drinking. I never had a point in life. So was this God's punishment for me?

I glared at my black skater shoes and asked, "Ne, why are you people still here? Go away and let me think. I need to figure out how to get back home and strangle Mikey for letting me drink so much."

I looked back up and stared right into Itachi's eyes. Then I grabbed a rock and flung it at Kisame. It was caught like I expect. This was going to be a hell lot of thinking. I never thought I would be stuck in this strange predicament. I continued to stare at Itachi and finally I said, "Dude, you're really sexy."

I grinned stupidly as Kisame stared at me dumbly and Itachi quirked a brow. I laughed like an idiot and continued wanting to get a reaction from him, "Well anyways, I'm only speaking the truth. I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't a virgin either. Now a day if women see a piece of ass as hot as yours, they'd jump your bones!"

I busted out laughing at his face. He actually looked embarrassed. Stood up and walked over to him pulling at the collar of his cloak. I leaned in close and kissed him.

I thought I heard Kisame's sword hit the ground in shock. After a few seconds, I pulled back and grinned. I turned around and started off into the unknown woods leaving the two Akatsuki there. After I took about three steps, I felt an impact on neck and the world went black.

-----

Well this is my new story. I don't know why I'm writing new stories, I just feel like if I don't get them out of my head, my brain will explode. Well, read and review! I'll update 'Returning' soon. My writer's block is slowly disappearing. XD

S2 bunny