Batman the Man

by WarriorofLight12

This is just a stupid shitpost I cobbled together while I was sick. I apologize to anyone that actually wastes their time reading it. If any of you attempts to tell me this is good writing, I will find you, and physically dismantle your body.

one day batman was cruising around town in fuckin GOTHAM bitches in his batmobile and he was like "damn im bat-sexy" as he looked in his bat-rear view mirror

all of the sudden, the joker comes rolling up to him when hes at a red light, on skates

batman turns down the bat-radio, sadly meaning the greatest bat song of all time, "We Fly High- Copyright Jim Jones 2006" wasn't blasting at full volume. "hey joker, suck my bat-dick" he lays through the bat-left mirror

"no way batsy youre such a fuckin patsy" the joker replied "oh goody that was a rhyme, and now im gonna go commit a crime"

batman goes "damn that was pretty bat-good, i bat-hate it when he does that" suddenly, robin appears on the sidewalk next to the batmobile, (tim drake robin not damian wayne damian wayne suckSSSS)

"batman batman notice me senpai i want to suck your dick" batman bat-facepalmed. "not in public robin, i'll get arrested for bat-pedophilia"

commisor gordan (i think thats how you spel it) was actually behind robin "batman, commiting bat-crimes? a truly heinous act. ill keep quiet about this, but only if i can suck your dick too batman"

batman laughed "no gordan my bat-dicks already being sucked by your daughter"

gordan ran off crying, only to run headfirst into Dick Grayson, who was in the attire of his persona, Nightwing.

"I'm genuinely sorry, what is going on here?" Nightwing asked, to no one in particular. "This is so horrifically messed up, why is everyone acting like shittily written caricatures of themselves?" He then sighed, and got on his motorcycle and left, shaking his head in disgust.

gordan continued running off, tears streaming from his face "waaaaaah" was his only words before smacking straight into harley quinn and screaming as both of them fell down into an open manhole cover.

batman meanwhile put on his bat-shades, turned up "We Fly High- Copyright Jim Jones 2006" to 30052352% volume, and blasted out all the windows in the city with the sheer power of his batmobile's bat-speakers

"BALLIN!" screeched the speakers, causing numerous pedestrians to fall to the ground, bleeding from the ears

"that's right bitches, hail to the bat-king" said batman as he drove off in pursuit of the joker, as robin hung onto the bat-fins on the bat-back of the batmobile, slightly obscuring the bat-licence plate, triggering a bat-redlight camera