Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize belongs to me, and probably a few things you don't.
(this will be the only disclaimer in the story)
A few quick notes before we start:
- This story is unbetaed and will most likely continue to be, so there will be mistakes, feel free to point those out of you want.
- This is my first fanfic in English, and it isn't my first language. Just thought I should put that out there.
- I wrote something I'd like to read and for myself, but chose to share since I figured other people might want to. If it's not your cup of tea, no need to criticize unless it's something that could help make the story better.
That's all folks, happy reading!
_
The full weight of the last few hours didn't completely sink in until Merlin was already back on his horse, riding towards Camelot with what felt like the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Arthur is dead.
He had already stablished that hours ago, while sending away his King's –His best friend's– body down to the Lake of Avalon, but his mind hadn't tormented him with other thoughts until this moment. What would become of Camelot? Of Gwen? She was their queen now, and he knew the knights would protect her with their life, but to the other kingdoms, she will be seen as an easy target, just a grieving peasant that will not be able to rule after the loss of her husband.
I will not let them.
•••
They did not pay attention to him at first, too immersed on the resulting chaos of the recent war. Gwen had heard the news, but there had not been time for grief while reassuring the kingdom that their queen would rule and prosper even without her King.
Merlin kept to himself, helping Gaius with the sick and wounded, doing a few shores around the castle, but there was a feeling that just would not leave him alone. It felt… empty. He acted much the same way, but the usual life behind his eyes was lost.
It was that fact that brought him to the queen's chambers on that morning.
"When was your last day off?" She was sitting on a chair by the mirror, just as composed and beautiful as ever.
The kindness and concern in her eyes and voice grabbed his attention for time enough so the fog that he had become used to numbing his mind could clear slightly.
"I don't have those, Your Highness" He smiled slightly, but it had a sad tinge to it. Arthur had not believed in days off, at least not for Merlin.
"Oh, Merlin" Gwen reciprocated the smile, her eyes clouding with unshed tears "I have already told you a hundred times to call me Gwen"
He shakes his head slightly. He could not do that, not when it was his fault that she walked without an arm to hold, took her meals alone and slept without her husband on the other side of the bed.
"It was not your fault, Merlin" She said, getting up from her chair to walk closer to where the servant stood.
"You don't know that" He answers, eyes cast to the floor.
"If you couldn't save him, no one could" She put a hand on his shoulder and he raised his eyes to see a kind smile directed at him "I know that. I know."
His eyes widened, she couldn't mean…
"And I'm grateful. For everything" the space between them was none as she hugged him, arms around his neck and her hair prickling his chin as he hugged her back, relief and sadness running through his body "Thank you"
"It was my privilege" He muttered, smiling slightly against her hair.
•••
"I am pregnant" The announcement came as a surprise two days later, and Merlin looked at her in disbelief. They were both in her chambers again, guards posted outside in case someone decided to disturb them "Gaius says it's only been a few weeks, almost a month" Her grin could barely fit her face.
"That is…" He struggled with his words. Arthur should be here, receiving the news that he was a father, that he would have an heir to the throne "Fantastic, Gwen. I am so happy for you" He said in all honesty. He could not be happier for his best friend.
"I will have a child" She muttered softy.
Merlin simply smiled.
"But this kingdom is not yet what I want for a child of mine" Gwen continued, turning a little more serious "Changes need to be made, I cannot have prejudice in my streets against something that anyone could be born with, including my own child". She looked into Merlin's eyes and he could see she was set on her decision "It is time to lift the ban on magic"
He had not dared hope… but she never ceased to amaze him.
Magic would be free in Albion once again.
•••
"Mr. Pendragon could you not make such a mess of your books?" Merlin watched as one of the boy's teachers, specifically the history teacher, tried to tidy up the table where various books had been opened.
The boy with curly blond hair and hazel eyes smiled innocently from his spot on the chair, as enthusiastic about studying as any six year old ought to be.
Merlin turned around and continued on his way to the Royal Physician's chambers, entering and closing the door behind himself. Since magic was allowed in Camelot, the place had, surprisingly enough, become more peaceful.
After overcoming the fact that they would have magic users living amongst them, the citizen slowly made peace with the news and started befriending those that came to the town for refugee. Not all kingdoms did as Camelot, and many still hunted sorcerers for their mere existence, but once Gwen showed them that Camelot would protect them, they helped protect Camelot in turn. It was the start of a golden age.
Still, Merlin felt out of place.
Gaius had recently passed away in his sleep, old age, painless, but it still hurt the young apprentice. Merlin loved Gwen, but she was a queen now, too busy to be friends with a servant while she had a kingdom to rule and a son to raise. Gaius had been his last real tie to Camelot and, since his death, it just had not been the same.
And it was not only that, but Merlin himself was not the same. Well, that was the problem, actually, he was still the same. Seven years had passed and he had not changed at all. He wasn't sure what had caused it, but he was not a day older than the day he lowered Arthur into the lake.
Merlin did not know what was wrong with him, but he had to find answers, and he would not find them here. Therefore, the warlock decided to leave. The kingdom was at peace, magic was free, and his destiny could not be fulfilled without Arthur by his side.
So he took his things and rode out into the night.