Author's Notes:

This is not meant to be a standalone fic, but part of a storyline from my main Airborn-series fic Freedom, Fascination, and Ferocity. Be warned: this chapter is VERY LONG, because it's not PWP — I hate PWP. Please review and let me know if it was alright. Thank you!

"What do you mean?" Kate asked, puzzled. I recognized in her voice a tiny remnant of unsureness from earlier, and hated myself for stopping us when I did. But she was so ridiculously good at teasing me with her touch, I knew this was the last chance we could stop before things went too far. Even now her enchanting fragrance worked constantly to add flame to my desire.

Just an hour ago none of this would have occurred to me in my wildest dreams; there remained a small bubble of disbelief inside me — Kate wanted this to happen. I felt an incredible pressure to be perfect for her, but wasn't sure if I could deliver. I felt like I was flying with neither navigator nor map.

"Matt?" she said, and abruptly I remembered that she was still waiting for my answer. I blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"I need to take a shower."

Instantly I wanted to hit myself.

This was so far from what she'd evidently been expecting that it took her a moment to process. Then her nostrils narrowed.

"… All this, because you want to take a shower?"

I stammered. "I — yeah. Or at least that's a part of the reason." She looked to be on the verge of saying something again, and quickly I kissed her shoulder to soothe her rising temper. "I mean, here you are, all fresh and cleaned up, and then there's me — dirty, covered in grime and sweat, haven't had a shower since last night. I probably stink."

"Oh," she said, frowning and pensive. The little bout of temper seemed to have drained out of her. Then she leaned down and pressed her nose into my chest… and breathed.

I twitched in surprise. "— Kate?"

"I don't think you're dirty," she said. "And… I like the way you smell. Right now."

"But I'm sweaty and —"

She moved her nose, this time to my armpit, and breathed even deeper. I positively jumped. "K-Kate!"

"I told you I liked your smell," she said. "Humans secrete their pheromones in the underarm region, you know."

"Pharaoh — what?"

"Pheromones; scent hormones," she explained, switching temporarily into lecturer-mode. "They signal fitness and the readiness to mate, and in most animals they are powerful inducers of sexual need." She straightened to kiss me, a raging blush on her face. "And yours is certainly working."

The comment made me unexpectedly excited, and I felt a blush creep down to my neck.

She saw this and grinned. "Honestly, Matt, that was very silly of you. Now, should we continue, or are there any more concerns in need of scientific explanation?"

I smiled sheepishly at her quip. All the same, I thought very hard about what to tell her. A myriad of doubts floated around me, little things like whether or not she thought me too skinny, or wondering if my teeth needed brushing. It would be impossible to list them all out, and she'd probably smack my head somewhere along the line if I tried, so I decided to sum up all my worries into a giant ball of… whatever it was.

"I guess… I guess I'm just afraid." I said lamely in the end, wishing I was as good with words as she was.

"Of what?" she nudged me. "I don't bite."

"Only on rare occasions."

"Matt!"

I laughed and swerved out of reach of her tickling fingers. But then I sighed.

"I'm afraid of… messing up."

"Messing up?" She scoffed. "More than I already have? I don't think so."

"I've always wanted our first time to be perfect," I said. I blushed as I remembered the numerous occasions I'd revisited the scenario, each time polishing it just a little more.

"Well, what's your idea of perfection then? Scented candles and flower petals?"

I shuffled my feet guiltily, and decided to never let her know the details. "Maybe not perfect. But at least… without messing up."

"Nonsense," she said with typical Kate-ly confidence, now remarkably restored. "You'll be wonderful."

Her conviction did nothing to ease me. I saw the trust in her smile, and suddenly felt annoyed. I knew it was ugly and unbecoming to feel annoyed in this situation, but I did. She opened her mouth to say something else.

"I just — I don't know how to do this, okay?" I snapped. "I don't even know where to begin."

She blinked in surprise. Then she frowned. "This? As in, the actual, you know…?"

"Yes, the actual you-know," I said drily, for once not bothering to feel embarrassed over our current topic. "How to start, what I do, where everything goes, all that."

Kate stared at me strangely. She was silent for a few seconds, longer than was comfortable, then she exhaled. "I don't believe you."

I was about to retort when I caught a hint of something in her gaze, an emotion she was struggling to keep down. She took a shaky breath. "Because you've done this before."

The fight went out of me instantly. I reached for her, ignoring her flinch, and wrapped her against me. She struggled a little but made no overt protest, which I thought was good. We were still for some moments, and then she sighed.

"Before you apologize," I said, "I just want to remind you that I really, really care about you."

She gaped at me and closed her mouth. Then she smiled weakly. "You are a true mindreader, Mr. Cruse."

"I was trained by the very best." I looked her straight in the eye. "Kate, I'm not… I'm not lying."

She understood. She cupped my face and met my gaze. "I know," she said. "I know you forgot about… that night. I was spiteful — it's so easy to get overwhelmed."

"I'm glad you told me."

"We made a promise, didn't we?" She kissed me, which seemed to make her perk up. "You know, I always thought boys just naturally knew. After a certain age."

"Everyone knows the basics — every young sky sailor at least. Hard not to when you're surrounded by the talk."

"Even on a fine ship as the Aurora?"

"Even on the Aurora," I admitted. "Not, you know, openly — Captain Walken made sure of that — but most sky sailor jokes revolved around it so it was inevitable. I used to ask Baz when I didn't understand, and he had to sit me down one day to, er, break me in, just so I'd stop pestering."

Her grey eyes gleamed. "I would've liked to hear that conversation."

"Trust me, you wouldn't." Four years later and I still cringed at the memory. "Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm clueless about the details. It's like knowing the destination but not at all how to get there. I'm scared I won't be good enough for you."

"You'll always be good enough for me."

I kissed her. "Thanks. But you might have to bear with me for a bit while I figure this out."

"While we figure this out." She grabbed my hands and smiled. "Maybe it's all for the better. We get to learn, together. This is exciting."

"But it won't be perfect —"

"No," she said. "Maybe it won't. But that doesn't mean it won't be wonderful."

I paused. Her words cleared the way ahead. Slowly I nodded. "I'll try my best to make it wonderful."

"We'll try our best," she corrected. "It takes two, Mr. Cruse."

We sat ourselves on the bed and kissed. Perhaps because of the conversation we just had, the kiss was a touch timid, with less of the fire and passion of earlier. But Kate was Kate — soon enough I felt myself grow hard. Her hand slid down my side to my waist, aiming to continue where they'd left off, which was when another bout of insecurity hit me. I pulled away a little.

"Before we, um, continue, I, er, hope you won't be… disappointed. In me."

I could hear the rustle of the sheets as she scooted right up to me.

"Disappointed? We just discussed that, remember?" she said, her voice a susurrus of softness.

"This is different. I'm not — I mean I've seen — er — and I'm not…"

I trailed off. She didn't prod me, which was very un-Kate-ly, and I was grateful for it. Somehow her patience calmed me down just enough to find my voice again. I took a deep breath.

"I'm not very big," I said bluntly, feeling my face burn up. "I — I've seen, you know, other men, and I know I'm just, average… And some of them can be… um, a lot bigger?"

I waited for her response, but she only stared. The silence tore at my self-esteem, the fragile thing beginning to crumble all over again. Words spewed out of my mouth to fill the void.

"I mean, there was a time, at a Turkish bath, and the crew took me with them, and a fellow there was bragging to the other fellows that he was gifted like a gorilla, and I know I'm certainly not, and when we saw him, everyone said his missus must be pleased, and I didn't understand it back then, but I do now —"

I finally willed my mouth to snap shut. It was horrifying, like watching an airship crash down to the ground while unable to do anything. A second went by in silence.

Then she started to laugh.

I froze. I didn't expect her to laugh. I was confused and embarrassed and slightly miffed; after all that talk about learning together and being honest! Did she think confessing all that was easy?

But now she was laughing out loud, leaning sideways into me, her bare shoulder resting on my chest. Her warm body vibrated against mine.

"I'm sorry," she gasped in between shaking fits. "It's just — if this is what I think it's about —"

"I don't know what you think it's about!"

"That was rhetorical! Anyway, I hope he wasn't gifted like a gorilla!"

"What?"

"In fact, I hope you aren't gifted like a gorilla either!" She started all over.

"Kate!"

"Where do you get all these strange notions — Oh, never mind, Matt —"

I groaned. Kate kissed my neck where it met my shoulder. I knew she could tell I was getting annoyed, but she still couldn't stop herself. Finally, she caught her breath and calmed herself down.

"I don't see what's funny about this," I said, disgruntled. It's been a long day, and I had half a mind to go to sleep if I weren't so aroused.

Kate ran her hand over my back, spreading tingles all the way. She was wearing her lecturer smile. "Mr. Cruse," she said, her tone poshed up in professionalism. "Did you know that the male gorilla has the smallest genitalia among the higher primates?"

I had to give her credit for not cracking up again. And the way she said it! The nonchalance of it all made me blush even harder.

Then the meaning of her sentence hit me.

"You're joking," I said.

"I am not," she said. "It's seldom known, but it's true."

"But —"

"The average is a little over one inch in length."

I blinked at her.

"One?"

"One."

"But they're — gorillas are — so big!"

"Yes. But they live in harems, so males don't need to compete for mating rights. Naturally they don't need a big… display."

I was still gaping at her. "How do you know this?"

"Oh, from certain journals," she said breezily. "Of zoological research. I looked it up." Then she realized what she'd said, and grimaced.

"You what? But why on Earth would you look up the size of… of a gorilla's…"

She snuggled herself into me, hands wrapped tight around my back.

"I was nervous!" she said defensively. "I knew I wanted to do this, but none of the books really tell you about the size of — of a boy, not directly at least — and it's not as if I could ask you. So I thought of looking up other primates, because I really wanted to get an estimate, since I'd always, you know… heard that it would hurt. A lot."

Her muffled voice had become small and almost-scared.

"I don't think it has to," I said quietly, hugging her. She sighed and adjusted her legs a little until she was almost sitting on my lap. My elbow brushed a little against the softness of her breast, and I felt another surge of arousal.

"I don't know, Matt," she said, also quiet. "It might just be something we have to endure. Girls, I mean."

"I would never hurt you."

"I know, silly. But this may be beyond your control. Plus, I'd read a bit of Fanny Hill and what with it going on and on about 'weapons', and 'invasion', and all those other positively belligerent words —"

"Wait, Fanny Hill?" I said, feeling my face heat up. I knew what it was — there was probably no sky sailor who didn't — but Captain Walken took a hard stance against these sort of things, and I'd only ever heard about it in whispered gossip. "That's a banned book!"

"It is," she said with a half-embarrassed twinkle in her eye. "But I had — there was — anyway I saw it in a used bookstore, and had the opportunity to buy it."

"You didn't!" I said, at once mortified and amused. I tried to imagine the face of the store-owner, when a beautiful young lady walked up with a copy of that.

"I was sorely tempted!" she said, somehow disgruntled. "But I flipped through the first few pages and there seemed to be a lot of descriptions of pain for one's first time, and then the rest of it was so ridiculous I decided not to buy it."

We looked at each other, and burst out laughing.

"You're extremely well-prepared for this, aren't you?" I said, awed. This was my Kate. Ready for anything.

"I suppose I am," she said. "I like to know what I'm facing."

I blushed. "It won't hurt quite as much as they all claim, I'm sure."

One hand reached down to playfully tap me below the navel, skimming the top of my trousers. "That depends on how this measures against the gorilla."

My blushed deepened. "A — a lot more, if you put it that way. But I'm still just average."

"I guess we'll have to do this sooner or later." She kissed me long and deep, then inhaled as if fortifying herself. "May I… touch it?"

I took a shuddering breath and nodded. She pulled a little at the legs of my trousers, and I knew what she wanted, so I stood up and took them off, letting the fabric pool on the floor. I was still clad in a pair of briefs, obviously, but the loose material no longer hid the general shape of me. I saw Kate's eyes widen ever so slightly at the quick glimpse before I sat back down, hands hiding myself, face burning.

Gently, Kate drew me back to her. Her hands rested briefly at my chest, slid down the center of my abdomen and past my navel, until she stopped just above the waistline of my briefs. I thought I could feel the warm pulse in each of her fingers. We were both trembling.

"Please bear with me," she said, and gave me another kiss. Lightly she brushed away my own hands, then moved down and touched me.

It was like electricity. It was much worse and much better than electricity. It was like she touched my very existence. She moved shyly from spot to spot, not exactly long enough for a thorough feel — just brief soft pats, barely grazing the form of me.

Even these seemed almost overwhelming; I was incredibly hard, and twitching with every contact. I leaned forward and rested my forehead on her shoulder, lightheaded. I was infinitely glad I was still wearing briefs, and she hadn't just gone in and grabbed me. If not, I would definitely have made a mess by now.

Abruptly the light touches stopped. I let out a breath, feeling each residual tingle of her fingertips slowly fade.

"Matt, can… can you look up?"

"Huh?" I said, not trusting myself with anything more than a single syllable.

"I'm going to… feel more of you," she said. "But I want to look at you when I do."

I obliged her. When I opened my eyes, hers were a mere inch from mine, studying my expressions intently. There was a fire of something in those mesmerizing orbs. Desire, curiosity. Tentativeness. Maybe even love. She opened her mouth, the question yet unformed on her lips.

I didn't even have the energy to blush. I nodded.

Her hands went back, and this time she used both at once, and in a grasp she took hold of almost all of me. It was an exceedingly powerful sensation, and my vision all but went blank. I honestly thought my brain would burst. I was hurtling to the edge of pleasure faster than I ever imagined possible, and I almost didn't have time to fight it.

I concentrated on her face, forcing myself to worry about what she thought of me and my size. She was frowning, but even that seal of disapproval just barely kept me from exploding. Slowly I retreated from the peak. I was panting and sweating.

That was when I started to worry in earnest. She was frowning! She was disappointed after all. And worse, this wasn't something I could change or learn, like skill or technique. I had to make it up through other means. Dejected, I opened my mouth to apologize to her.

She beat me to it. "Matt, it's too big!" she cried in a panicked whisper. "Make it smaller!"

"Ah!" I shuddered as she subconsciously squeezed. "Wait, what? Smaller?"

"Smaller!" she hissed. "This will never fit!"

I gaped at her. "But I can't make it smaller!"

"You have to!" she said. I detected a hint of tightness in her voice, which brought back enough reason for my brain to function. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm sorry," I said. I felt absurd over the abrupt turn of events. Of all the possible problems I'd been worried about, this definitely hadn't been one of them.

She buried her face in the nook of my neck. "Oh, never mind." Her voice was still shaky. "It's just — it's going to hurt so much."

Her hand wriggled around the shaft a bit more. I struggled to not squirm. Finally, she sighed and let go. Then she pushed away from my embrace and thumped me on my head.

"Ow! What was that?"

"I thought you said you were average-sized."

"But I am!"

"Liar."

"Ow, stop hitting me!"

"I'm exacting pre-revenge."

"Exacting what?"

"Pre-revenge! For when we actually do it. You're getting a part of that pain!"

I could hear the fear in her voice, and my heart twisted. I didn't know what else to do so I pulled her back in. She squirmed in protest, still trying to hit me, but I kissed her forehead and she acquiesced.

"Is it really that bad?" I asked after she calmed a bit. Despite her distress, a small part of me was secretly pleased, even perversely proud, and I felt immediately ashamed.

"It's very bad," she assured me. "I know because I've tried with my fingers first, and it didn't take much to start feeling stretched — and you are way beyond that limit." She let out a frustrated little noise.

This was said with complete, Kate-ly nonchalance. I gaped in wonder at the information just revealed, and felt powerfully aroused in spite of the situation. Stop that, I told myself. I took a shuddering breath.

"We can always… you know, try again later."

Kate raised her eyebrows. "Later?"

"Yeah. Or… or if you're really that uncomfortable, we —" I steeled myself, fighting the primal urge in my body telling me not to say it: "We don't have to do it."

She stared at me, as if not quite believing I'd made the offer, before she shook her head. "No," she said, with absolute certainty. "Matt, I want you inside me."

I didn't know if that was considered a passionate declaration, but it sent blood rushing to my cheeks and between my legs. It fanned the flames already coursing under my skin. I kissed her, on the lips this time, hungrily. I was trembling with lust, for I knew I wanted to be inside her too. I wanted to join with her, to experience these new sensations together. But I wanted it to be just as comfortable for her.

"We'll take it slow," I said as the kiss broke. "I promise."

Her hands didn't go back south, but lingered around my torso, absently caressing. I wanted to reciprocate, to touch her breasts, but didn't quite dare with her thin chemise still in place. Instead I held on to her soft back and contented myself with the silky skin of her shoulders and waist.

"Like I said, maybe I just have to endure it," she sighed dejectedly. "It's only the first time that hurts, right?"

"I don't know," I said. "But you shouldn't have to go through any pain. That's just… not right."

"Female cats go through a lot of pain. Every single time. That's why they yowl."

I kissed her, loving how random she was. "Lucky we aren't cats, are we? Maybe there's something I could do to help."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Aside from make yourself smaller?" Then she saw my expression, and rubbed my chest. "I'm sorry. I'm being cruel."

"I always thought bigger was better," I muttered. It was what I'd always been told, by sky sailors and men in general.

"You're an idiot, Mr. Cruse. Ugh, I'm just so cross at myself! I mean, Nadira endured the same thing and —"

I silenced her. "I. don't. care. about. her," I said between each touch of our lips, desperate to convey my feelings through our touching skin. "I care about you. I don't want to hurt you."

My hands slid down her shoulders. I didn't want to be stopped by the fabric of her chemise anymore. With one hand I reached to her back and started to attack the lace. With the other I slipped the shoulder straps off, relishing the smooth unblemished skin beneath. Here I paused. It should be fine, right? She already touched me all over, and now I wanted to touch her. Just to be sure, I checked; Kate had gotten very quiet, and was peering at me with a hint of a smile playing on her lips. Her hands dug into my back, as if forbidding me to pull away. I took this to mean she didn't mind, and urgently I continued to fumble my way down her back.

I found a string somewhere in all that groping and pulled on it; a tie became unraveled, and her entire chemise loosened. I kissed her some more, to reassure her like she did with me before touching me. She lifted her arms briefly to pull them out of the shoulder straps, and then I slipped the chemise clean off her torso.

Her skin was like some sort of rosy alabaster, almost glistening in the soft glow of the room lamps, yet flushed throughout her body. It was the first time I'd seen her so red. She tried to bury her face in my shoulder, but I didn't let her. I wanted to see her. I wanted to see my Kate.

She was, in one word, perfect, and that was a grievous understatement. There was no suitable word in the English language to describe her. I was utterly and completely mesmerized. My eyes skimmed from feature to feature, never lingering long enough for lust to overpower awe, almost as if I was afraid of defiling her — here a pale shoulder, there the slim turn of her hips, then the rich subtle shape of her breasts. She was a Greek goddess — no, she was the embodiment of all the goddesses. The logical beauty of Athena, the endearing jealousy of Hera, the passionate allure of Aphrodite. She was Kate, my goddess.

Almost shyly I moved my gaze back up to her face. Her eyes were squeezed shut. I leaned in to kiss her.

"May I touch you?" I asked, still awestruck.

She nodded, a small embarrassed nod, but definite and without hesitation.

"I guess it hadn't been very fair," she added in a murmur,. "It was mostly me touching you tonight."

Trembling, I put my hands lightly on the sides of her breast.

We both gasped. I'd never felt something so incredibly soft. Slowly my fingers moved to map out the shape of them. They were so different than they appeared in my fantasy — not necessarily larger, but more exquisite and certainly much more beautiful than my coarse mind could ever have comprehended. The buds of her full-formed nipples poked out at just the right place, colored between rosy and swarthy, and around it a small ring of skin in that same hue. I was still in disbelief that she'd let me touch her at all, so I decided that they would have to wait.

I spent a good ten minutes just exploring the edges of her breasts, never once bored. Around the middle of that, Kate had started breathing faster, with little hissing sighs when my fingers accidentally brushed the border of that intricate ring of darker skin.

Then I remembered that she'd been kissing and licking all over my chest. I wanted to kiss her and lick her breasts too. I blushed, not really knowing how to ask such a question, but my mouth was at their level, and she must have felt my breath because she pushed them out ever so slightly, and said, "go on, Matt."

I kissed the side first, then tentatively reached out my tongue. Her skin had no taste, but the smell accounted for much more. Beyond the usual lavender-scented soap, there was the powerful heady fragrance of her new perfume, and something else, subtly pleasant but very difficult to pin down. I thought absently to myself it may be her phero-whatever.

I never actually ended up asking if I could touch her nipples. I just sort of did it with my tongue. She let out a louder, melodic moan, and I stopped.

She opened her eyes, the grey orbs lidded. "Do that again," she said.

So I did. Soon my fingers came into play, and she was shivering deliciously all over. I pushed her down onto the mattress and started to widen the area of my attention, going down as low as her waist, and as high as her neck. I no longer asked for permission, I was too eager. No wonder she likes to kiss my chest, I thought idly, and went back to my fevered worship.

Finally Kate couldn't stand it any longer. With a few deft twists of her leg, she peeled her chemise down the rest of the way. I thought she might be embarrassed so I slipped out of my briefs as well, and she smiled shyly when she saw me uncovered for the first time, obviously fascinated. And just like that, we were naked. Together.

Hungrily, reverently, I studied the newly revealed part of her. She had a soft bush of dark auburn hair obscuring most details, but there were tantalizing spots of pink that peeked through. The general shape was similar to some of the lewd drawings I'd previously seen, yet infinitely more elegant and alluring.

I knew I had to touch her. I lifted my head. She was busy observing my arousal, a roseate glow all about her, but she noticed my almost-desperate gaze, and nodded.

I laid myself down in between her legs. It was the first time I'd smelled that magnificent tangy scent, musky and strong but not overbearing. She jolted when I laid my finger on her lips, and I did too.

"Kate," I said, wondrous. "It's wet!"

"Of course it's wet," she panted. "Did you think you would fit there without lubrication?"

I knew I had to taste her. "I am going to kiss you," I declared.

"Wait —" she said, "Ma—ATT!"

I couldn't really describe what she tasted like. She was a bit salty, a bit sweet maybe, but again, the smell accounted for much more. My nose pressed right up to her, she smelled… luxurious… intricate… intoxicating. Like a peculiar make of wine with a light pleasant hint of cheese, mixed with the free summer air when we flew very low over the Pacificus.

I focused on familiarizing myself with her geography. I felt surreal, an explorer of some long lost Amazonian city in the rainforest, the place concentrated with so much femininity that it made me dizzy. Everything was wonderfully wet, everything there for me to touch and taste, and with each new discovery all I could think about was, this is my Kate.

Somewhere during it all her hands latched on to my head, one grasping strands of hair, the other with fingers dug into my scalp. Her body convulsed and relaxed, moaned and panted, ebbing and flowing with my actions. Soon I discovered a small structure, just a nub, that never failed to garner a reaction, and I delighted in teasing her with it. I was slightly worried about her, but she hadn't told me to stop yet and her hand often pressed my head back down when I came up for air, so I thought she probably liked it.

Then I thought I wanted to see how wide she could stretch, and make sure I wouldn't hurt her later. I inserted a finger right into her. She gasped.

"How many could you fit?" I asked, my voice muffled. Her legs curled before they rested on my shoulders.

"I forgot," she said. "Matt, just — oh — OH." I'd gotten another finger in. It was starting to feel cramped already. No wonder she thought I would never fit.

"I want to help make it easier," I said, determined. "Tell me if it hurts."

She squirmed when I gently put in a third, but made no protest, only small pants interspersed with my name. I licked her, and she gave a little spasm.

"Kate, it's supposed to fit, right? I'm not hurting you?"

"It's supposed to fit much more, Mr. Cruse," she said, panting. "Where do you think babies come out?"

I gaped at her. "You mean this is the same place — babies — but how?" I remembered seeing my baby sisters. A baby's head would break her!

"That's why childbirth is the worst pain known to mankind. Woman-kind, that is. Why'd you stop?"

I shuddered. "My mother told me how hard it was, on an airship… but I never knew it was like this."

"Yes, men-folk rarely hear about it." Kate pressed my mouth into her. Her wall was clenching and writhing around my fingers, and I didn't think I could get another in her without causing pain, so I started licking again. "Ohh. But it's actually quite simple." She moaned. "You know what happens when you climax, right?"

"Y-yeah," I said, blushing.

"Basically I'm a one way street; your er — ohhh — your fluids, they go inside me, travel up into the wo-omb, and then some complicated things happen and a baby pops out the same way back. Ohhh."

"I knew all that!" I protested. "I just didn't know it came out the same way!"

"Well now you do — ooo."

Suddenly something struck me. "Kate, what if you get — what if —"

"Don't stop! And no, I won't get pregnant because I already," she panted, "already took precautions."

"What? Precautions? Like a French Letter?"

"No, something more — more elegant. Medication. I told you I spent weeks, planni —"

My tongue brushed against that same little spot of her, and she called out, temporarily incapable of speech. A veritable flow of her juices rushed out. I gave a grunt of surprise as it got into my nose and mouth. It was slightly different than the surrounding wetness, but tasted the same.

"It's like water!" I said, amazed, and found suddenly that I could fit a fourth finger in her. "Kate, what happened —"

"Just. Keep. Going!" Kate said, almost in a growl. I still wanted to know what just happened to her, but she obviously wasn't in a mood to explain, so I kept at it. Her musk was all I could smell. I remembered when I was young, hearing about the stories of the Constellations always made me wonder what ambrosia tasted like. Well, now I knew.

Her panting grew more and more frantic. She had her eyes closed, and her hand applied constant pressure at the back of my head. I studied her like this, laid bare for me and only me, wanting to imprint this image of divinity in my mind. I was confused but proud, even as I continued to repeat the same motions with my tongue, throwing in a sprinkling of variety here and there with my lips and teeth. I came back every few seconds to that small nub, secretly excited and hoping she'd give me another flow. In response, she writhed, she moaned, she clawed.

She was beautiful. She was my Kate.

Then in the span of about twenty seconds it was over, heralded by a great flood that washed over me. I felt her legs clamp together, pinching me between her. She cried out and arched up, so I lost sight of her face, but her entire body was spasming and twisting, and then I heard my name, in a breathy pant, then in a moan, then so loud it was almost like a scream. Then she slumped back onto the mattress, limp and spent, and all her nectar ran down my mouth and cheeks and onto the mattress. Before I could look up again she tugged at my hair, pulling me up from her warm wet center, then she was kissing me so passionately and so furiously I almost pulled away in surprise.

"Matt," she said over and over again, back to the volume of a gushing whisper. "Matt, Matt."

"What just happened?" I asked in earnest, but she yanked me down for more kisses, and her fingers dug deep into my back as she pulled me flat against her, skin luxuriously against skin.

Then she grabbed me; the hard part of me. I had been aroused all this time, but Kate was so mesmerizing I'd completely forgotten about my own desire. Her warm palm sent sparks flying in me all over again. At first I thought she simply wanted to touch me like earlier, but her hand moved with irrefutable purpose to her core.

Panic rose in me. "Wait, what are you doing?"

"It's okay, Matt," she said. "I'm ready. We're ready."

"But you'll get hurt and —"

Another smoldering kiss. She bit my lips, gently, to stop me from pulling away, and at the same time she guided me, throbbing and sensitive, to where my mouth had been just moments before. I felt impossibly dizzy.

"I want to look at you," she said, soft but serious.

I pushed myself up a little so she could. With her one hand holding on to my arousal, her other hand found purchase at the small of my back, and she tugged. Her eyes were fixated upon my face, and then I felt the tip of me slip past her outer lips.

"Come on," she said, not giving me time to adjust to the mind-numbing sensory overload that was being dumped into my brain. She was incredibly, incomprehensibly wet from earlier. She tugged at my back again, and I felt a tighter gate of sorts, another barrier of resistance.

I didn't understand much of anything that was going on. I was supposed to have done this before, but right now every single moment was new. I was trembling all over, feeling like my heart would explode. Kate tugged again, more insistent, and with a wet plop I slipped past those gates into a wholly different warmth and softness.

Kate let out a mew of pain. I looked down at her, concerned, but she was smiling in the middle of the frown.

"All that mental preparation," she panted. "And in the end it didn't even hurt that much. How do you feel?"

"I don't know," I said. I was trying not to faint. "I — it's tight. How do you feel? Are you sure you aren't hurt?"

"Yeah. I feel… full. Stuffed." She smiled, clearly awestruck. "But you're inside me, Matt."

"What… what should I do now?"

"Try to get farther in."

"Like thi—"

"Not so fast!"

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Just — give me time to adjust."

"Right. I — I need that too."

"Okay. A little more, now. I'm sorry, Matt."

"What? Why?"

"I'm sure you want to move."

"No, I don't," I said, still completely breathless. I was already so stimulated that moving would surely send me right over the edge. "It feels too… much. Sensitive. Are you alright?"

Her eyes twinkled. "I'm completely surrounded by you; I'm more than alright. A little more, now."

"Okay," I said, carefully sinking deeper into her. The sensation was a million times stronger than before. The pleasure was like a coiled spring, waiting just beneath the surface, every slight movement threatening to set it loose.

We repeated this process a few times before my hips met hers, and we both realized I was now completely inside her; she had enveloped all of me, and I was wholly hers. We panted together. She brushed sweat from my forehead. I felt myself twitching. It was so warm and so right, I thought I could stay like this all my life. I leaned on my elbows, so as to not crush her underneath me.

"Matt, I… I'm so happy."

"I am too. I didn't think it would — feel — so…"

"It's better than I imagined. You're inside me," she repeated, a wondrous smile on her face. "Try to move a little?"

I did, pulling out a little bit and going back in. We both gasped. It wasn't just where we were joined, it was everything from us rubbing against each other, to the warmth of our bodies, to the perspiration on our skins. I bit my lip to keep the pleasure in check.

"Again," she said, breathless.

I obeyed. A drop of sweat slid down my forehead to the tip of my nose, and dripped onto her breasts. I twitched inside of her. She let out a rolling, gasping groan. I repeated the motion. Once more, twice, thrice. And before either of us was fully aware of what was happening, we were in the throes of making love.

I tried very hard to pace myself. The pleasure would come roaring dangerously close to the surface every half a dozen thrusts or so, forcing me to pause abruptly. She understood, so she did her best to stay still during bouts like these, gently gripping my back and running kisses across my chest. Then the peak would pass, and we would start moving again.

We instructed each other throughout the process, little phrases like 'faster', or 'not so hard', or 'do that again', interspersed with all the sounds we never knew the other to be capable of making. I had to use my elbows to prop myself up most of the time, so my hands could only reach her hair and face, but her own never stayed still — here pinching, there tickling, then coming back to caress. We both enjoyed using our mouths as well, and our torsos were soon a slick messy sheen of sweat and saliva. Neither of us minded.

Then it pretty much ended when she discovered she could clench herself in time with my thrusts. I cried out when she did that for the first time, bucking. She gave me a grin and did it again, her eyes lidded as she watched me tremble. I twitched inside of her.

She then dragged me flat onto her, grunting as my weight settled on her.

"Close?" she asked, pulling at the small of my back.

I moaned in response. She nibbled softly at my neck. I thought she would stay still, like usual, but there was a slight pain as her fingernails scratched at my back. Then she clenched herself below, bit down on my shoulder, and gripped my bum and pulled.

My eyes widened in surprise, then squeezed shut. The triple stimulation was too much, and I started going over. Every one of my muscles tensed, and my breathing got choked. Kate's nails raked down my back, trying somehow to get me even deeper, even though I was already buried up to the hilt. I let out a throaty moan, and then the dam fully broke.

The first massive wave of pleasure knocked me near senseless. I was no longer aware of anything besides the eruption of stored tension. Even with my eyes closed I saw white stars. More waves came, rush after rush like a relentless assault, and I held on to Kate as my body shook, again and again in time with each burst of me that went straight into her. I was groaning, grunting, whimpering, but none of it mattered. I was marginally aware of her nails digging into me, but that didn't matter either.

"Mo spéir," I whispered when it was finally, finally over. It was what my father called my mother, and it just blurted out in that moment of complete unguarded… love. My body was still tingling, and I remained hard and twitching inside her, but I was exhausted. I laid on top of her, panting, not wanting to move a single inch.

When I opened my eyes, it took me a second to focus on her serious face. For a moment all we could do was stare at each other. Then the sides of her lips slowly rose, and I felt mine do the same, and then we were both chuckling, laughing, tiredly but genuinely laughing, marveling at how close together we were, at how well our bodies fitted together, at what we'd just accomplished together.

"Are you okay?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

"Yes," she said.

We took a breath together, feeling the way our chests pressed into each other. I felt her nipples graze my skin, and the sensation was comfortably intimate.

And then I felt laughter at the base of my lungs again, and as it burst out, she started too. We kissed some more. She stroked my back, and I cupped her face. I was no longer as hard as before, but she still felt warm and full.

"Wow," I said when we finally stopped laughing. "I… wow."

We smiled stupidly at each other. Her gaze was clear and bright as the haze of lust dissipated, and sweat drenched her auburn locks, and she looked more beautiful than anything I've ever seen.

"You were brilliant," she said softly. "Thank you."

My eyes widened, and I blushed.

"You were brilliant as well," I muttered. "I don't think I have ever felt this happy in my life."

"Me, too," she said, trembling. "I'm so happy, it hurts."

I knew exactly what she meant. Joy coursed in my heart, as sharp and crisp as the winter air outside, threatening to burst, and it was such a pure, massive torrent, such a heart-wrenching emotion, that it bordered on painful. There were all sorts of strange and wonderful scents of her, of me, of us, all of which formed a potent cocktail that spoke of lust, passion, and intimacy. If love were to have a smell, this must be it.

We laid together in blissful languor for some time. I was softer and slipped out of her, and we both sighed wistfully at the lost contact. Then an idle question came to me in my muddled brain, something I'd been wondering about for a while now. In retrospect it seemed perfectly clear, but I still wanted to make sure.

"Hey, Kate." My chin was resting on her shoulder. "When I was, um, kissing you below, did you…"

She took a second to respond, smiled lazily. "You mean, did I climax?" I nodded, and she pecked my cheek. "Of course I did."

"No one told me what would happen when a girl climaxed," I said, sheepish. "So I wasn't sure." Then I looked at her. "I want to do that for you again."

"The… below? But it's so messy," she said, abashed. "It got everywhere over your face! I felt really bad."

"I enjoyed it," I told her. "I liked your taste. I liked watching you climax."

She blushed beautifully. "I liked watching you, too. I kind of hoped we would climax together, actually."

"Is that possible?" I asked, excited by the prospect. "I thought I had to kiss you below —"

"No, no," she laughed. "I just need stimulation, doesn't matter what form. I was almost there just now, but you went over first."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I tried to last as long —"

She put a finger on my lips. "Shh. I know you did." Then she looked thoughtful. "I'm sure we can do it, if only we paced ourselves."

"Do it?"

"You know… climax together?" The thoughtful expression was quickly replaced by a dark desirous gleam. "Want to try? You feel like you've recovered."

"Okay," I breathed, throbbing powerfully. She smiled briefly before kissing me.

This time, with the process fresh in our minds, we knew what to do. We still touched each other, but all of it felt a little rushed with the anticipation of rejoining ourselves. We were both intrigued and more than eager.

"What are you doing?" she said, when I moved down.

"Er. The same thing I did before?"

Her grey eyes were bright and impatient. "I told you, I don't need it."

"Won't it hurt if I don't —"

"No. Come back up here."

"Are you su—" I began, but she gripped my bum and made an anxious sound that was half plead and half command. I felt myself burning up. In a fluid movement she wrapped her legs around me, and I entered her, this time completely and all at once. No more barriers.

We sighed together, like going back to a cozy place we had left not long ago. We kissed some more, then she pressed her palm against the small of my back, which I'd already learned to recognize as her sign telling me to move. So I did.

There was barely any talking this time around. We communicated through sounds, movements, expressions. All the same, we failed in achieving our goal — along the way I was a little too eager with my hands, and she finished earlier than we both would've liked, moaning and with her fingernails clawing at my back.

Not to be outdone, she pushed me off her once she regained control of herself. For a moment I thought she was actually angry, but then she gave me a smile, laid herself flat on top of me, and coaxed me back inside. Suddenly it was her doing the moving. The change in position was so exhilarating, I barely had time to enjoy it before I was driven violently over the edge. Her lips never left mine as I groaned and spasmed, and she kept moving even while I rode out the remainder of my climax.

"Where… where did you learn that?" I panted against her lips, then hissed in surprise. She was still moving, both her hips and the inside of her. "Ah-ah. D-don't. I'm s-sensit-tive! Kate!"

"Shh, I'm trying to see what this does to you," she said, equal parts fascination and lust. To my dismay she continued to gyrate herself, and the stimulation was altogether overwhelming. It was almost like torture, even more so because she ignored all my pleas and pinned my arms to my side. Finally, when I stopped shuddering, she kissed me again and grinned.

"That," I panted, too tired to kiss her back, "was cruel."

"It's what you get for making me climax first."

"I'm sorry," I said breathily, feeling her fingers tickle my flank. "I really thought it wouldn't push you over."

"Oh well. I guess if we could try a second time, we could easily do a third," she said, her cheeks turning rosy. "I have no qualms against that."

I stared at her, astonished — it hasn't even been two minutes, and I was still inside her!

"Again?" I shook my head, abashed. "I'm sorry, but I — I don't think I can. Not right away."

"Oh, not right now, you silly! I'm just saying, we could try as many times as we want, until we get it right."

"Oh," I said, then blushed heavily. As many times as we want.

"You lecher," she teased, having seen right through me.

I looked away from her in embarrassment. She laughed and combed her hand through my sweat-drenched hair. I closed my eyes and breathed in that scent of us, feeling utterly content.

Of course, being two teenagers, and having just discovered a whole new continent of ecstasy, quiet moments didn't last long. Soon I felt Kate wriggle on top of me and giving my chest a tiny nibble. Even after everything, the sensuous softness of her stirred me up with ease. "Hey, Matt, are you asleep?" she asked.

I turned to her and rolled my eyes — I knew she had felt me getting hard.

She smiled. "Third time's the charm?"

Author's Note:

1. Google Fanny Hill if you don't know what that is. Most definitely NSFW.

2. Contraception in the early 1910s was limited to crude physical means like sponges or uncomfortable-looking condoms. I thought "the pill" wouldn't be too far-fetched given the setting of Darwinism (See my crossover fic, Wagers of War and Peace).

3. A French Letter was euphemism for a condom, chiefly during WWI. In French it was called the capote anglais, or the English Hood.