Disclaimer: I do not own Ragnarok
This is essentially a huge revision of Follower, due to some noteworthy criticism from a friend. I also realized it was needed after writing "Leader"
Follower
Akira was used to following Ruan around. He did it every morning, every afternoon, and sometimes, during the night as well. It had become a habit of sorts, for him. A strong a difficult habit to break, he suspects. Akira was almost…magnetically drawn to the man. And he felt a force (subtle as it was) drawing Ruan to him. He wondered if this was what others might call mutual attraction.
He doesn't remember the day he met his saviour really well. A fierce, burning hunger, and a hand descending with food is all he can really make out. Anymore, he can't remember. On quiet nights, when he thinks back on that day, his head hurts, and he suspects that he doesn't want to remember. So he doesn't try.
Akira remembers Ruan briefly mentioning his background as that of Pronteran, and like so many little things that Ruan says, those words stick in his head. It makes sense, he supposes, because the glowing, blonde hair, the bright blue eyes, and the moderately light skin tone all suggest at Pronteran heritage. When he regards these features, he wonders how a person could be so beautiful, and occasionally, when Ruan looks back at him, he wonders how a person could make him feel so beautiful.
That habit of his, it's getting harder to break each day, and he knows it. Every day, the bonds connecting the two are growing stronger and stronger. As of now, they are intangible, inseparable, and almost wholesome. Two halves of a whole, so to speak. The slightest of movements, the slightest of breaths. Neither of these go unacknowledged. This is not normal, he knows, but on the other hand, he's not all that normal either.
Sometimes, he regrets the attraction, regrets the things binding them together. Because he knows it binds Ruan to him as well, and he hates that. On those days, he wonders why he follows Ruan at all. He is always a burden to the crusader, always needing protection. He hates that about himself. He hates that so much that sometimes he considers killing himself. But the thought is brief and momentary. It is momentary because he remembers the bonds, and he knows how much it will hurt if it is broken. And because Akira is not selfish by nature, he does not consider the thought for more than a second.
Akira is not the type to believe in love. He believes in attraction, but not love. He can't bring himself to believe in it, after all that he's seen or heard. Yet he doesn't want to believe himself so shallow that he likes Ruan merely because he is attractive. So he convinces himself that their friendship is a very strong bond, also, and that is what causes the attraction between them. He never does realize how similar attraction and love is.
Well that's it. I'm done! And this took me a long time too, but I finally finished. I decided to delete the whole story, and start afresh, because one of my friends commented on the blunt-ness of my story. This one's more vague (Or so I hope) It might seem a bit too vague, and it doesn't explain Akira's background very well. Tell me what you think!