A/N: Lookie! It's a completely new fic! I know I should be updating some of my other fics, but I have a short attention span and I liked this better. : I hope you all like this; I've been planning and writing it for AGES! I've even written bits of other chapters THAT I HAVEN'T EVEN PLANNED YET! And I've PLANNED A SEQUEL! Am I an over-achiever or what? I kind of nicked the name from the big giggage that tours around Britain and some other parts of the world. I'm not sure whether the title holds any relevance yet. Anywho, shall we get on with the show?
Disclaimer: I do not own the Hogwarts' Express, Platform 9 and 3/4, Bill Weasley or the Hogwarts Houses.
Claimer: I do however own the OC's though; Alanis, Gladys (yes, I do mean to type Gladdy sometimes as well; it's a nickname), Jacquie, Lennie, Bennie, Isis, Louise, Keira, Cornelia, Michelle and Mindy. So suck on that. :P
Dedication: Basically, I'm dedicating this whole fic to all of my mates, who are my inspiration. I only hope they don't get too mad when their personal problems and embarrassing moments are broadcast throughout my fic. I would also like to remind them, if they kill me now, I won't be able to remedy everything that happens.
This particular chapter is for Happy Hippy, as it's her BIRTHDAY! Yippee! Happy Birthday, Small-Crazy-Hippy-Lady!
Give It A Name
Escaping the Family (Yippee!)
"'Lani! 'Lani! 'Lani! 'LANI!"
A tiny hand brutally brushed the hair from my eyes so I came face-to-face with Bennie, my two-year old sister.
"Go away or I'll eat you." She giggled, brown eyes dancing in delight. The wind was knocked out of me by a heavy lump on my back.
"Mummy said you have to get up NOW!" The lump shouted. I buried my head into my pillow groaning, whilst light footsteps made their way into my room.
"Lennie, why are you sitting on Alanis?" A saviour!
"Gladdy, remove the devil's spawn, please."
"But mummy said we have to get her up!" My darling little brother argued.
"Keep listening to mum and you won't make it to your sixth birthday!" I snarled. Gladdy sighed.
"They're probably doing you a favour, you know. I just passed mum in the kitchen," she leaned in to whisper in my ear, "She was wetting a sponge." I propelled myself out of my bed, sending my siblings flying to the floor. "Ow." Complained Bennie.
"Oh shush. That's laminates soft."
Twenty minutes later I traipsed down the stairs whilst scraping the top half of my blonde hair into a bun. "Mum, have you seen my chopsticks anywhere?" My mother looked up from the pot of tea she was pouring to survey my outfit; a red fitted shirt, blue denim jeans and red converse. When she decided it was suitable she answered; "On the telly."
Smiling, mum questioned; "So you finally woke up then?"
"Yes. Thank you ever so much for sending Satan's Little Helpers to give me a wake up call," I slipped the chopsticks through my bun, "It was most appreciated."
Passing a mug of tea over, she sighed. "Your dad had to rush off and sort out a break-in at the shop, so he won't be able to see you off. Neither will nana, she has to pick up the jackpot from the bingo."
How lovely. My nan was abandoning me for approximately £10.40.
"That's alright." I drained my tea, immediately swearing as it burned my throat.
"Language." Mum scolded, making my mug fly out of my hand and wash itself at the sink. "Have you got everything?"
"Yes."
"Money?"
"Yes."
"Robes?"
"Yes."
"Books?"
"Yes."
"Wand?"
"Yes."
"Broom?"
"Yes mum. I have everything. It's ok."
"Good. Now go and collect Lennie and your sisters; it's time to leave." I took a few steps up the steps, then paused to stare at my mother. "What?"
"I was just wondering," I shuffled my feet apprehensively, "You wouldn't have seen my wand anywhere, would you?"
"Alanis darling, you must remember to write every week."
She tells me that every year.
"You tell me that every year."
"Yes, but you do forget." Ugh! No I don't! Honestly. Well, there was…
"Once! I forgot once in second year! Will you ever let me live it down?" She stared at me like I'd grown several more heads.
"No." she said obviously. Ugh! My mum acted like such a teenager sometimes. I considered sending her to her room and shouting; "Don't you take that tone with me, young lady!" I considered it, but didn't have time to see it through. "If you remember, I was the one who had to deal with your father. Do you even know how many panic attacks he had? Five! Five panic attacks in one day! If Gladys hadn't been there I don't know…"
I blocked my mother's voice out of my mind as she ranted on how my little sister, who wasn't really that little at all as she was nearly fourteen, was an 'Angel from Above' when my dad had a panic attack. Though I shouldn't have been so nonchalant; I was always at Hogwarts and had only witnessed my father have a panic attack once. Whereas my sister was always at home; she was a squib.
The train whistle stopped my mother from ranting and woke my two youngest siblings from their bored stupor on a nearby bench.
My mother pulled me into tight hug, making it hard for my limbs to function. I realised I was allergic to the lavender spray she was wearing and came up with a plan of action; I'd ask her to release me, and if that didn't work, I'd pinch her.
"Mum, you can let go now." Aaaaaaaaaaah. I breathed in the fresh, unpollenated air.
Feeling a tug on my jeans, I looked down to see a watery-eyed Bennie. "'Lani saying bye bye?"
"Afraid so, honey." I said picking up my sister and rocking her to and fro. "C'mere chuck." I called to my brother. He smiled and roughly attached himself to my leg.
They might have been annoying brats sometimes but they were still my little brother and sister. And their cheeks were so pokeable.
Setting them down I turned to Gladys. She grinned and pulled me into a sisterly hug. She was almost as tall me now and was catching the eye of several male passers-by. "Have a good year, don't forget us and remember you're coming home for Christmas."
"Isn't it mum's job to remind me of all that stuff?" Gladdy laughed.
"Yeah but she's so hopeless and forgetful I thought I'd do it myself."
"I heard that." Mum called. A second whistle went off and I went on board the train.
I hung my head out of a window as the train started to move. Mum waved as Gladdy, Lennie and Bennie moved along the platform with the train.
"Don't miss me too much," I shouted, "I'll be expecting packages of sweets fortnightly, plus pocket money." By this time the train was parting from the platform. "And Gladdy, KEEP OUT OF TROUBLE!"
"SHOULDN'T I BE SAYING THAT TO YOU?" she roared over the sounds of the engine.
I laughed and kept waving until my family were no longer visible, then went to sit down in my compartment.
My friends and I had always been in the same compartment every year, even in first year. It was where we had all met, and we intended to claim it as our own.
I sat down in our compartment, having dumped my trunk in it before, and began to read my favourite book; Pride and Prejudice. I didn't have much time to immerse myself in the story as three girls fell into compartment and collapsed face-down onto the floor. I couldn't tell who was who at first but I did know something; they were three of my four best friends. Their muffled voices sounded like a bunch of cats tied in a sack being whacked against a brick wall. Cruel, but true.
They lifted their heads simultaneously and released the sheer horror that was them cackling like witches! (Which they are, but shush!)
Isis, Louise and Cornelia were looking at me and laughing, or laughing at me, I didn't know which. I had to ask.
"What's so funny?" The responses I got were worrying; giggles.
"W-We're sorry 'Lanis," Cornelia said, pausing to give her time to laugh, "Something amazing has happened." She continued to stare at me but didn't actually say anything else. I didn't think Cornelia grasped the concept of revealing a secret. Like telling it, for example.
She finally carried on telling me when I made an impatient hand gesture. "Well, we just saw Mindy Crawford with a beanie on her head." Cornelia's lip curled at the mention of Mindy's obviously tragic choice of hat wear.
Isis carried on the conversation since Cornelia spent too much time pondering what the hell could have possessed Mindy to put an object on that was so last season. "Michelle, you know, the sixth year Ravenclaw? Anyway, she told us that Mindy used that new product, 'Lockhart's Luscious Lock-Dye'," (had Isis joined an advertising campaign?) "…two days ago, to be ready for the school year. Unfortunately, our dear precious Mindy used a bit too much of 'Blonde Bombshell'." Isis paused for a dramatic effect; you could tell this one incident had made her year, "Instead it went BRIGHT GREEN!"
Ok, so I had to join in with their shrieking laughter then didn't I? I despise the girl.
Being a Hufflepuff or not, laughing at your enemy's misfortune is a necessity.
Louise recovered first. "The only thing she can do now is to let it fade."
"How long will that take?"
I'm pretty sure her eyes glittered. "Three weeks!" After letting the laughter flow, we put all the luggage in the rack and settled down on either side of the compartment.
My best friend, Isis sat down next to me, hugging me lightly whilst juggling her cat, Jodie. "Hi!"
"Hiya." I looked over to Cornelia to check that she was occupied talking to Louise. I lowered my voice. "Any visions lately?"
Isis shook her head. "None. Squat. Nada. Kaput. Diddl-"
"Okay, I get the idea." I leaned back. "Did you tell Dumbledore about the last two?"
"Of course. I sent him a letter as soon as I'd sent Pipsqueak to reply to you." Ah, my little Pipsqueak, the most adorable owl in the world. He'd already flew ahead to Hogwarts. Isis whispered almost inaudibly; "He came to visit me."
My eyes widened. "Seriously? The headmaster came to visit you? Those dreams must have been more relevant than we thought."
"Yeah, but I don't see how though. They were so similar. Just a campsite."
"A campsite you envisioned got completely destroyed." I replied.
If you hadn't already guessed, Isis was just a bit weird; a Seer, plus she thought Trelawney was a human prodigy. The summer before we started our fifth year, Isis started having dreams, random dreams that were somehow connected to each other, trying to warn her and everyone else of what was to come. We paid attention to them, but not enough.
Isis gripped her brown hair in frustration. "I can't even tell my parents about them. I mean, they're muggles. They'd freak and wouldn't let me go back to school." I knew exactly what she meant. Even though Isis' Egyptian archaeologist parents are further over the line 'odd' than most people, I don't think they'd fancy the idea of some kind of voodoo, future-seeing gift bestowed on their eldest daughter.
We were drawn out of our worry by Louise asking the one question we never let her live down. "Where's Keira?" she asked, flipping her blonde locks over her shoulder.
"Prefect's meeting." Cornelia stated simply, prying my book from my fingers and inspecting the front cover.
Poor Louise looked like a dear caught in headlights – a look rarely used by herself. "Keira's a Prefect? WHY did no one tell me?" I can still see the looks of amazement fixed upon our faces. It was NOT like Louise to be a ditz.
"Keira told us all."
No reaction.
Isis attempted to revive Louise's memory. "On that day when Keira invited us all to her house because she had some really big news. Then it turned out she was a Prefect and we had a sleepover and talked about it all weekend."
Confuzzled Louise Bingley (I decided it was fate that she had the surname of my favourite character) tilted her head trying to recollect the day. It was a couple of seconds before she let out a soft "Oh."
Before we could take the mick out of her (Dammit!) the compartment door swung open to reveal the Quidditch legend that is; Keira Johnson.
We cheered and applauded as she made her way to sit between Louise and Cornelia. Surrounding we threw questions left, right and centre and all she could do was beam her heart out and mess with her zillions of braids.
"Who else is Prefect?"
"How big is the Prefects' compartment?"
"Were there any complimentary snacks?" What? I was curious.
Keira answered all our questions, still smiling (I had the urge to grab a pair of pliers and remove the hanger from her mouth). And then Cornelia burst, asking the question all of us were dying to know.
"Who's Head Boy?" We stared wide-eyed at Keira, waiting with bated breath. Her smile changed into a smirk.
"None of the people we thought."
"Really?" asked Isis unbelievably. Her face suddenly became clouded. "It's not a Slytherin is it?"
"HELL NO!"
"Then who is it?"
"Not telling." And would you believe it, the evil cow had the nerve to lean back and smirk in triumph.
"Tell me who's Head Boy," I threatened, "Or I'll give you a hug."
Ha! That made the little cuddle-phobic shake in her boots.
"OKAY! I'LL TELL YOU!" She sighed. "Bill Weasley."
"B-B-B-Bill Weasley?" Cornelia squeaked.
"Hotness extraordinaire?" Louise asked.
"Oh Merlin!"
"Frikkin' hell!"
"I think-I'm having a heart attack!"
Cornelia slid down her seat gradually. "This is going to be the BEST YEAR EVER!"
The rest of the train ride was uneventful and apart from when I went to stroke the Threstrals, nothing really happened at the carriages. It was when the feast ended that we realised that Cornelia was going to be totally wrong.
Isis, Louise and I parted at the stairs, we going down the Hufflepuff dorms, and Keira and Cornelia up to the Gryffindor dorms.
"See you tomorrow!" We called to each other and made our way down the steps. Only we didn't make our own way down, we made Mindy's way down; by being shoved by her and her erm…I don't know whether they can be called friends or 'collection of retarded robots'.
We should have been somewhat scared of them, but as soon as we saw the beanie we collapsed laughing.
"Oh, so you think it's funny, do you?" The menacing seventh year asked.
"Hilarious."
"Bloody comical."
"Of course not, I was laughing in sympathy for you." Louise answered sarcastically.
"Don't you give me cheek!" she ordered, "You're just a bunch of smart arses."
"Oh Mindy," Isis said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I'm so glad you finally realise our superior intelligence."
"Get off me!" Mindy screeched, slapping Isis' arm away, "I don't want your filthy mudblood hand anywhere near me!" Mindy's, shall we say, companions snorted and grunted there approval. I found it hard to believe that they were all female.
"Wow, you've really outdone yourself this time, Mindy mate," I said "We would never have guessed you were going to use such an original quip. I'm guessing you were too busy in the holiday to come up with any new material."
Her nostrils flared. "This is not over." Walking towards the dungeons with her thugs, each of us let out a breath we didn't know we'd been holding in.
"D'you think she's serious?" Isis asked several minutes later in our dorm.
"It's her final year isn't it?" I slumped down onto my four-poster bed. "I think she's deadly serious."
A/N: What do you think of that then? Reviews are rewarded with virtual food of your choice! Plus, when reviews appear, so do chapters! (Yes, I've already written the next one!)
Happy Birthday, HappyHippy!
MavisClone x x