i don`t own Four Brothers or any of the characters.

ok so this is my first Four Brothers fanfic and i wanted to write about Jack`s final moments and thoughts about his life , family , and brothers. hope you enjoy! (:

Not Alone

The only thing I heard was the gunshot.

The sound echoed into my head and wouldn`t come out. the blood seeping out of my hollow chest and onto my hands was warm, but my body was dead cold as I feel to my knees. I tried to scream but nothing came out, I couldn`t even gasp. I was choking on my own breath.

Then I saw something pointed right in my face and I relized I was looking down the barrel of a gun. I was staring right into death`s eyes, and soon enough it would claim me.

I heard Bobby yelling my name, but it was faint. All I could hear was my heart pound in my head.

It`s too late Bobby.

Another gunshot rang through the still air as I saw my shooter fall to the ground.

Get up.. get up, get up, I don`t wanna fucking die yet!

I didn`t hear the screeching of tires as I ran toward my brothers who seemed miles away. I was stumbling, clutching my now tight feeling chest. I never noticed the men in the van. This time I didn`t hear the gunshots, instead I felt them go straight through my lower body. The medal burned through my legs and then I couldn`t move, the pain shot through every part of me. It had jerked me forward into the snow and I started crawling to the stop sign on the end of the street.

I was screaming and crying, crying for Bobby, for Angel, for Jeremiah, for Ma, for anyone.

I grabbed onto the stop sign, tears and snot pouring down my face. I couldn`t breathe. I couldn`t feel anything. Everything but the pain went numb. Looking up, I saw four gunmen in ski masks blowing holes threw Ma`s house, but the sight was blurry.

No... I can`t die. Not like this...

I didn`t see anyone in the house but I screamed for someone anyways.

"BOBBY!"

I heard a voice inside yell back. "JACK!" It was Bobby.

"BOBBY!" My voice broke as I stared bawling. Please don`t let me die alone.

"JACK!" This time it was Jeremiah, but I couldn`t yell anymore because the pain started taking over. I felt empty and faint and there was so much pressure in my head I felt like it would explode at any second.

I feel onto the snow and pleaded for Bobby one last time, but I couldn`t hear what he said.

My vision began going fuzzy and black, until everything faded away.

I was alone. I was gunna die alone. Just like I always knew i would...

There was a flash, and I saw all my memories, my life rewind right before my eyes. I never relized how important small details we never really pay attention to acually are.

I was eleven. Miss Mercer decided to adopt me after staying with her for for 6 months. She gave me clothes, food, a room of my own. The boys treated me good.. But it still felt like I didn`t belong. Then one day, Miss Mercer found my yellow toothbrush hiding in my sock drawer. She tried to explain that I didn`t have to steal anymore, that I was loved here, that I was a Mercer now, part of the family. Part of A family. I remember crying all night long. I never believed in God before, but I still thanked him. I still do, all the time.

I was twelve. Bobby had beat the shit outta a guy that had called me a fag and had given me a black eye. He told the kid no one could call his little brother a queer but him. Same old Bobby.

I was thirteen. Jerry gave me my first guitar for Christmas. It was the first present I ever got. Guitar was the only way I could express myself, so I would play all the time. It was the only thing other then my family that made me happy. So that`s what I decided to dedicated to it.

I was fourteen. My stomach flipped when I had my first kiss. And I was suprised when she kissed my back. I remember thinking, man did I have something to tell Bobby and Angel when I got home. Bobby would have to stop calling me fairy now. I lied to him though when I said I was banging more chicks than he was. I`m still a vigin, and she was the only girl I`d ever kissed. Which still doesn`t prove I`m gay.

I was seventeen. Angel was going out to his first big party with his Sofi and Ma wanted to teach him to slow dance. After a short arguement, Ma forced him to dance with her to some old, sappy love song. Me and Jerry were were laughing like crazy till Ma told Jeremiah to take over for her. He was complaining to her, but she wouldn`t take no for an answer. That`s when Bobby walked through the door and saw Angel dipping Jerry at the end of the song. I was in hysterics when Angel dropped Jerry right there and shouted "it`s not what it looks like!" while Bobby was going off bout something on the lines of "That`s just not right!", "I leave for twenty minutes and I come back to a house full of queers!", and "I thought there was already one fairy in this house. What has this world come to?" I remember all of us laughing together, like a real family, because we were one. I remember the warmth and the happiness... I remember never wanting that feeling to go away.

But my memory seemed to reel back and stop at one particular moment.

I was ten. Alone, running through the snow at the dead of night in the middle of December. It was Christmas Eve. I was coughing something fierce with nothing but a cheap jacket to cover myself, some worn sneakers on my feet and running around in dirty, ripped up blue jeans. My face was cut up and swollen. That`s the last time he`s ever gunna hit me. I promise. I swear on my life I`ll kill him before he lays another hand on me.

I had run away from my foster parents who would beat and abuse me. I never knew my real parents, but I would have dreams about them sometimes. They left me what I was a baby, and I was stuck in foster care ever since. I never had a really place to call home or anyone I could call a family. I was alone ever since I could squeal. But still.. being alone was my greatest fear. To die alone...

The cold was catching up to me, but I still wouldn`t stop. I didn`t even know where I was anymore, all I knew was that I wanted to get out of this place. But what difference would that make? I kept running and running for God knows how long until i couldn`t feel my legs anymore. They gave in as I fell over onto a pile of snow. This is it. It`s over. I`m gunna die alone after all. Suddenly I saw a pair of headlights turn the corner and stop a few feet away. I heard someone get out of the car and walk over to me. "Now what are you doing out in the cold at this time of night?" Said the person. By her voice I could tell she was old. "Wait, I know you. You`re the child that`s always bounced around to different foster homes." She took a closer look at me. "Hmm.. what`s your name again?"

"I dunno, but they call me Jack."

The woman smiled at me. "Well they call me Evelyn. What`s your last name?" I paused. "I don`t got one.."

"Well I guess were gunna have to see to that, aren`t we?" She stood up and extended her hand. "How would you like to come home with me? Maybe just for tonight. You could spend Christmas with me and my boys." I stared at her. I guess just for one night would be alright, probably better than sleeping in the snow. Besides, it`s not like I had anyone to spend Christmas with anyways. I slowly took her hand and I'll tell you for an old petit woman she sure as hell was strong. She pulled me up with one tug, and began walking me over the the car. She walked me over to the back seat and opened the door, and as I got in I asked, "What`s your last name?" She said, "Mercer. Evelyn Mercer." I layed down and took up the whole back seat. "Well, it`s nice to meet you, Miss Mercer," I said as she smiled at me and shut the door. She got in the driver`s seat and we drove away.

And just like that, I had finally walked out of my old life, and I never once looked back.

I was snapped back to reality when I felt someone shaking me. "Jack! Jack, look at me!" I looked up to see Bobby staring back at me. He looked different though, he looked frantic and broken. Angel was next to him, then Jeremiah appeared while Sofi was crying behind them. "Jack you alright? Hold on..." He turned to yell something over his shoulder. I could tell he was screaming but I could make out what he was saying.

My ears when numb, and the world went silent. Even still, I could hear Bobby`s voice calling for me inside my empty head. Every part of him was screaming my name, screaming for me not to die. I couldn`t hear him, but it`s something you can just tell in your brother. I could see it in he`s desprete eyes.

Tears were in all my brother`s eyes. It was the first time I ever saw them cry... And the last.

I knew my brothers. They never cried, ever. They were too strong. I could feel their pain and I despretely wanted to reach out to them in this last moment.

I wanted to thank them, for everything. Always being there for me, always watching out for me, always being the big brothers i needed to help get me out of all the shit I had feel into. I wanted them to know how much I loved them, how much they meant to me, how much I loved our family. Because they were more than my brothers, each one of them were a part of me, and that`s something you never really let go of. I wanted them to know that even if the world thought they were worthless fuck ups, they had changed my life for the better. And I hope I changed theirs, too.

I wanted them to know, I needed them to, I HAD to let them know... But I knew I could never tell them.

So I smiled.

And I knew my brothers would understand eveything that smile meant, cause that`s what brothers can do.

Thanks for not letting me die here alone. That`s all I ever wanted.

My vision starting blurring, and Bobby`s pleading face began to blend into the snowy sky. He was still shaking me and whispering and crying, but I was beyond feeling anything. I was beyond help. I knew that, and pretty soon so would my brothers. I took one last look at them.

I relized how much different they looked to me then they probably looked to the rest of the world. To me, I saw them as I always had; happy-go-lucky Jeremiah, rough and tough Angel, and crazy, charasmatic Bobby. The people looking from the outside would think they were no good, screw up hoodlums. But to me, they were they brothers I never asked for, but was blessed with anyways. They were they best I could ever ask for.

I closed my eyes, so I could always see them like that, and remember them with a clear picture in my clouding mind, instead of them just fading away into nothing.

Thank you, for everything. I love you guys.

I felt my hot blood run down my throut and I could feel myself choking.

I took a last, shakey breath.

"How would you like to come home with me? Maybe just for tonight." "Welcome to the family." " I know bad things happened to you before you came here Jackie, but your safe now." "How`d you sleep Cracker Jack?" "You like sucking cock, don`t ya, you lil fairy!" "Don`t you ever touch my brother! Only I can touch my brother! ...That sounded like some gay shit." "Happy Birthday Jackiepoo!" "Don`t cry. Mercers never cry." "Good to see you, lil brother." "You know I love you, man."

Everything faded to white.

I`m comin` home, Ma.

so what`d you guys thing? good? bad? weird? haha my first fanfic so be niice :p please review. ! it`s kinda random at parts, thou.

so the entire part from they end of the flashbacks to the "So I smiled" part i wrote ahmazingly , but then when i went to save it fanfiction just died && i was like WTFF. so it`s not as good as i orginaly wrote it but it`s pretty close ^^