Title: Letting Go

Author: Mylan

Category: The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (Lynley/Havers)

Rating: PG

Spoilers:

Summary: starts where 'one guilty deed' ended…

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me. They were created by Elizabeth George. I'm just borrowing them. This fanfic is based on the tv episode 'One Guilty Deed'

Feedback: I would love to hear what you think of this story.

Please send all feedback to Anywhere, just let me know first.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: English is not my mother language it's only my third. I normally speak Dutch, so don't mind the errors in my story !!!!!!

'Wait' Lynley shouted while he was trying to keep up with the little girl.
She didn't wait for him and just kept running. All Lynley could do was follow her. A few minutes later he caught sight of Carly… but where was Havers? He started to panic when he noticed she was on the ground. Carly was holding a rock above her head, ready to strike Havers with it.

"Nooo" Lynley yelled and ran as fast as he could towards her. Carly dropped the rock and started running. Lynley closed the small distance between him and Havers and fell on his knees. He grabbed Havers below her arms and pulled her out of the swamp. They both crashed down on the ground together.

"It's all right Barbara, I've got you" Lynley whispered, while wiping her hair from her face. "What are you doing here"? Havers asked and suddenly started to panic when she realised Carly wasn't there with her.

Lynley got to his feet and pulled her up with him. Keeping her upright with an arm on her shoulder. "Carly!" Havers started to scream and wanted to run but Lynley stopped her. "Carlyyyy!" she yelled again, but there was no answer. When she realised what had happened, she felt numb. Her legs couldn't support her weight anymore and she felt herself losing balance. Luckily Lynley was just in time to catch her.

"Wow there, are you all right", he asked worriedly.

He tried to look at her face and realised she had lost consciousness. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her back to the trailer where they had stayed those last few days. He gently laid her down on the sofa and kneeled down beside her. He tried waking her by patting her softly on the cheeks.

"Barbara? .. Barbara .. come on, wake up!"

A few moments later she blinked and opened her eyes. She tried to sit up but thought better of it when she felt a stinging pain in her head. "Auw" she said and winced in pain.

"Lay down Havers" Lynley commanded.

But Havers didn't listen and tried again. It hurt as hell, but she managed to sit up.

"I'm fine" she told him and left the couch. She had to hold on to a chair, not to loose her balance and after a few seconds she went to the bathroom. "I'm gonna take shower".

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Lynley tried, but he was cut off by one of her 'looks'. He knew she wasn't going to listen to him. He stood up and walked in her direction. He took hold of her wrist and his eyes searched hers.

"Look, promise me you'll yell if something's wrong okay" he said.

Havers was a little taken aback by his concern and just nodded.

"yeah, sure" she said and closed the door behind her.

When she came out of the bathroom again Lynley was watching tv. He looked up and she smiled at him. She was wearing a tank top and her pyjama bottoms. Her hair was damp and Lynley couldn't help but notice how cute she looked in her oversized trousers. He smiled back at her.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"Yes I do" she said and sat down on the couch next to him.

"Good" he said and looked at the small gap on her head. She saw the concern on his face and turned away.

"Look, I'm fine."

Lynley sighed and rolled his eyes.

"You know, you don't have to be like this Barbara" he said to her.

"Like what, Tommy" and she stressed his name as to show that she was starting to get annoyed with him.

"You know, be tough and all. You always pretend there's nothing wrong even when there is. You don't have to prove yourself to me. I've known you for a few years now and I like you for who you are. There's no need to impress me."

Havers didn't know what to say. She had no idea it was so obvious to him. She was so used to playing the part that she thought everybody believed it. But obviously he knew her better than she thought.

"Than what do you want me to do? Lay on the sofa the whole time? she yelled at him. "Admit that the room won't stop spinning around" … What good would it do? It wouldn't bring Carly back you know!" Her anger turned to hurt and she couldn't stop the tears that were forming in her eyes. Damn it, here she was, trying to be strong and she did the exact opposite.

Lynley heard the crack in her voice and realised she was angry with herself because she couldn't have stopped Carly. He saw the tears in her eyes.

"Look, it's not your fault Barbara" he said and leaned forward. He tried to put his arm around her but she pulled away.

"I thought I could save her. She confessed everything to me, I was going to help her. Why did she do that?"

"I don't know" Lynley honestly replied and tried to put his arm around her again. This time she didn't react and let him pull her towards him. He gently rubbed her back in a soothing motion and Havers couldn't take it anymore. She wasn't used to having this comfort… his comfort… and she started to sob. She felt like she had lost her best friend. She had trusted Carly.. They had so much in common and they had had fun sharing childhood memories. Now all that was gone.. She was alone again, like she has been for all these years.

Lynley felt his heart break. It was the first time that he saw her crying and he realised that she must be truly heart-broken to react this way. He continued to stroke her back and his other hand found its way to her hair.

"It's all right" he whispered over and over again until he felt her relax in his arms. The sobbing slowed down until she just lay there soundlessly. A few moments later Lynley realised she had fallen asleep.

He carried her to the bedroom and put her down on the bed. Than he put the covers over her and decided to stay with her a little longer, till he was sure she was all right. He started to think about what had happened that night. When he saw her on the ground he had panicked. He was so worried something bad had happened to her. He wouldn't know what he'd do without her.

He looked at her sleeping form. She looked so peacefully now. He moved forward and gently touched the gap on her forehead. He hoped he didn't wake her, but her eyes were still closed. He slowly moved his fingers down, over her cheek, tracing the outline of her face.

When he made plans to get up and go to his room he felt a cold hand on his arm. "Stay". He turned around and stared into her blue eyes. "Please, I don't want to be alone tonight" She had said it so soft it was barely audible. Lynley tried to read her expression but she looked away.

"Sure" he said. He scooped down on the covers, but Havers tucked them up and motioned for him to get under them. "cold" was all she said and she closed her eyes. Lynley took her in his arms and noticed her hands were freezing. "It must be the shock" he said and started rubbing her hands with his. He then held her close until they were both asleep.

FINISHED!! R&R please ;-)