Haley scowls as she peers into the plastic mixing bowl. "What did you do?"
"Um, I added the food colouring? Like you told me to?" Sam gives the mixture a couple extra stirs, but it stays the same shade of grey. He frowns. "Maybe I didn't add enough. Should I add more?"
Haley takes the mixing bowl from his hands. "No, I think you've helped enough."
Sam's mom chooses that moment to step into the kitchen. "Everything okay in here?" She's been giving Sam these weird smiles all morning – Sam suspects it's because he's finally spending time with a girl that's not Abigail – but now it's been replaced by a look of concern.
"Do you have any more powdered sugar, Jodi?" Haley asks, in a much more pleasant tone than the one she's been using to address Sam. "Sam ruined the frosting."
"It's not ruined ." He sticks a finger into the mixing bowl, then pops it into his mouth. "It tastes fine." Haley and Jodi look at him with matching expressions of distaste.
His mom sighs. "Sam, don't put your fingers in the frosting. Your brother knows better, and he's half your age."
Sam rolls his eyes once his mom's not looking. "Sorry, Mom."
Jodi crosses the kitchen, and starts opening cupboards, pulling out bags and boxes and bowls of every size. Sam wonders why they have so many different bowls. Would cereal be better if he poured in a giant mixing bowl? It probably would.
"I don't think we have another bag," his mom tells Haley, once she's checked every cupboard. "Should I run and grab some more from the store?"
Haley folds her arms over her chest, and glares at Sam before letting out a sigh. "No thanks, Jodi; it's fine. I'll see what I can do with Sam's… creation."
Jodi gives Haley an apologetic smile. "Let me know if you need anything, alright?" She also gives Sam a stern look, before leaving the two of them alone in the kitchen again.
"I don't know why you're bothering with this, anyways," Haley says, as she dips a spatula into the mixing bowl, and begins to spread frosting over the cake. "You could just buy Sebastian a cake; it's not like he'd care." She glances over at the doorway, then lowers her voice, "Or just blow him."
Sam's face turns as red as the cinnamon heart candies that are supposed to go on the cake, but have mostly just ended up in his stomach so far. "Dude. We're not… we're just friends ," he hisses, "got it?"
"Right." Haley smirks. "You're just baking Sebastian a birthday cake, with little hearts on it, because that's what bros do, right?" She pops one of the heart candies into her mouth. "Yoba, guys get so hung up on their sexualities."
"You don't know what it's like," Sam mumbles. "Haven't you seen the way my mom's been looking at me all morning? How stoked she is that I'm finally spending time with a girl?" He crushes one of the heart candies under his fist. "She's gonna be so disappointed when I tell her." Sam sighs, tracing a pattern in the candy dust. "I don't even know how."
Haley's face softens. Sam's pretty sure it's the first time he's seen her give another person that look; she usually reserves it for the rabbits at the fall fair petting zoo. "Look, I'm not going to pretend to be your friend, okay? But my sister's a really good person to talk about that kind of stuff with. She'd be really happy to help you."
"Uh, thanks," Sam says, trying to mask the surprise in his voice. "I'll… um, think about it, maybe."
Haley leans forward, her voice dropping so that it's just barely audible. "So is it true, then? About you and Sebastian? Because Emily refuses to tell me anything."
Sam really hopes his mom hasn't overheard any of this conversation from the living room. He hesitates, then nods at Haley.
She smirks. "I knew it."
Haley stays long enough to help him clean up the kitchen, and his mom helps him box up the cake in a clear plastic container. Sam's really glad that the heart candies never ended up making it onto the cake, because he's pretty sure his mom would ask why he's putting little hearts on a cake for another guy.
Vincent wanders into the kitchen as they're finishing up, holding a piece of paper. "Sam!" he says, shoving the paper into Sam's hands. "I made something for Sebastian!"
Sam studies the paper. It's one of Vincent's best drawings for sure, although he might be a little biased. It's a picture of him, Sebastian, and Vincent, out by the mountain lake. He's holding hands with Sebastian, and oh, Yoba, there is no way Sam's showing this card to his mom. Especially not with Vincent there to explain it.
"It looks great, Vince." Sam reaches out, ruffling Vincent's strawberry blonde hair, and his little brother grins up at him.
"How cute ," Haley says, peering at the card over his shoulder. Sam quickly folds it in half.
"I'm gonna get ready to head over to Seb's," he tells his mom, sticking the folded up card in the back pocket of his jeans. "I'm sleeping over; I'll call you when we get back from the city." He thanks Haley, too, before backing out of the kitchen. Sam can't say it out loud, but he hopes she knows that it's also for the advice, and not just for helping him with the cake.
Most of his stuff's already packed in his backpack – sleepovers have become increasingly common since they started dating, so all Sam really needs to do is swap out his clothes.
Vincent trots in after him as he moves onto packing Sebastian's gift. "What's a… chem-ical romance?" Vincent sounds out, peering at the shirt as Sam struggles with the wrapping paper.
Sam smirks. "It's Seb's favourite band."
"My favourite band is your band," Vincent says, flopping back against the bed, and crinkling the wrapper paper that Sam's just finished cutting.
"Aww, thanks little dude." He smiles at Vincent, who grins back at him. Sam's not sure that Vince's even heard any of their songs – and to be honest, Sam hopes he hasn't, because they've gotten pretty sappy lately.
"Sam you're gonna put my picture in too, right?"
Sam pulls the drawing out of his back pocket. "Of course," he assures Vincent, slipping the card under the wrapping paper, before taping the whole thing together. It's a little messy looking, but hopefully Sebastian won't mind. "Seb's gonna love it."
With his bag ready to go, Sam collects the cake from the kitchen, and then heads up towards the mountains. He finds Sebastian in his basement room, hunched over his computer as usual.
"Hey, no working on your birthday," Sam scolds.
"I'm not working," Sebastian protests. He pushes himself away from the computer desk, and rolls his chair over to where Sam's standing.
Sam holds out the cake, and Sebastian stands up to inspect it. "Happy birthday, dude! Haley helped me make it."
Sebastian looks down. "Um, is it supposed to be grey?"
"Uh, no," Sam admits. "Haley's speciality is pink cake, and I knew you'd roll your eyes if I gave you anything pink, so I tried to dye the frosting purple instead… and it didn't really work. I also, um… kind of ate all the candy that's supposed to go on top."
"This is the worst pink cake I've ever seen," Sebastian says, accepting the cake. "I love it."
"It tastes fantastic," Sam reassures him. To prove his point, he swipes his thumb along the top of the cake, and holds his hand out towards Sebastian. "Try it."
Sebastian's eyes widen, and Sam comes to the sudden realization that asking Sebastian to lick frosting off his fingers is maybe a little too intimate. Then Sebastian leans forward, taking Sam's thumb into his mouth, and the way his lips and tongue and teeth move against Sam's skin almost makes Sam moan.
Almost.
Sebastian pulls back, looking far too pleased with himself. "It's not bad… hope you washed your hands."
"Um," is Sam's eloquent response, because now he's distracted by thoughts of how Sebastian's mouth would feel on other parts of his body. "Yes." Sam needs a distraction, before all the blood that's rushed to his face starts to head south. He looks back down at the cake. "You should probably hide that, so that no one eats it while we're gone."
"I don't think that's going to be an issue."
Sam shrugs, and takes the cake back from Sebastian, setting it down on the table they use for their Solarian Chronicles sessions. Sebastian takes a seat on his bed, and Sam's quick to join him after digging Sebastian's present out of his backpack.
"Here, open your present," he says, thrusting the badly-wrapped gift into Sebastian's hands.
Sebastian sits up to open the package. "Did you let Vince wrap this?" he asks, smirking at Sam.
"Shut up," Sam whines, "I did my best!"
He turns Sam's gift over, examining the size and shape, and then weighs it in his hands. Sam nudges him. "Open it Seb, stop trying to ruin the surprise."
"It's clothes," Sebastian says, as he starts to work at the wrapping paper. He opens the gift slowly, methodically, as if he's going to save the paper for something.
Sam groans. "Just rip it open, man, come on.
"Oh," Sebastian says, once he's finally finished with the stupid wrapping paper. Sam's expecting the usual retorts about how Sebastian hates that band, that he never listens to them (despite the secret playlist Sam knows he has), but Sebastian just leans over to kiss him instead. "Thanks," he adds, pulling back.
"Okay, but do you like it?" Sam asks. "Because that was an extremely un-Seb-like response."
"Didn't really want to be rude about the first gift you gave me as my boyfriend," Sebastian admits, giving him a shy smile. "But yeah, I like it, thanks. And the card's cute, too."
Sam smiles back, then leans in to kiss Sebastian again.
"If you tell Abby they're my favourite I'm still gonna kill you, though."
"I think she already knows, dude. Now put it on," Sam encourages, "I wanna make sure it fits! They didn't have an extra small in men's sizes, so I just had to order you a small. Do you think that's too big?"
Sebastian rolls his eyes. "I'm not that small, Sam." He slips out of his old shirt, and tugs on the new one. "See? It fits fine."
"Really? 'Cause it looks a little big to me," Sam says, smirking.
"Oh fuck off," he replies. "You just wanted an excuse for me to take my shirt off." Sebastian pulls his faded black hoodie back on over his new shirt. "Hope you enjoyed the show. Maybe if you're good I'll let you take it off later."
Sam feels his face flush again, and Sebastian grins at him. They'd just started getting comfortable about changing in front of one another, but taking each other's clothes off? That was new. "I'll, uh… I'll be on my best behaviour?"
"You'd better," Sebastian says. Then his boyfriend grabs a fistful of Sam's shirt, and tugs him into an open mouthed kiss.
They're soon interrupted by a set of heavy footsteps descending the stairs outside Sebastian's room, and Sam quickly pulls back, his hair mussed and his cheeks pink. Thankfully, Robin's the type of mom that knocks, and actually waits for an answer before coming in. Sam's mom doesn't.
"Sebby?" Robin calls from the other side of the door. "Can I come in? I wanted to give you a gift before you leave!"
"Door's unlocked," Sebastian calls back, as Sam scrambles to straighten his shirt.
The door opens and Robin steps inside, holding a present that's much more carefully wrapped than Sam's was. "It's just something small… do you want me to leave it on your desk, Sebby?"
"Nah," Sebastian replies, "I'll open it now."
Robin beams at him as she walks over to the bed, and hands it over. Sebastian opens the second gift just as slowly as the first, and Sam has to fight back the urge to give him shit about it. He looks pleasantly surprised by Robin's present – a black pair of pajama pants, dotted with little green frogs. "I like these. Thanks, Mom."
"I knew you'd like them because they're black!" Robin explains, still managing to sound far more excited about the gift than Sebastian.
"I'll try them on later," Sebastian promises, setting them aside on his pillow. "Oh, and mom? Sam's staying over tonight."
"Do you want me to get you the air mattress, honey?" Robin asks, turning her attention back to Sam. "I wouldn't want you falling out of bed." She winks at him as she says it, and Sam's cheeks go pink.
"Nope, that's okay," he answers quickly. "We like sharing. It's warmer that way, you know?"
Robin smiles at him. "Well, okay! Seb, let me know if you're going to be home for dinner, alright? If you want I can make you some pumpkin soup. Oh, and text me when you get to Zuzu!"
"Pumpkin soup sounds good," Sebastian agrees. "Uh, is that okay with you, Sam? Or did you want to grab dinner before we head back?"
"It's your birthday dude!" Sam reminds him. He does like the idea of coming back earlier for dinner, though – there's far more privacy for the two of them in Sebastian's bedroom than out on the streets of Zuzu City.
"We'll be back for dinner, then," Sebastian tells his mom. He stands up, and motions for Sam to follow him. "We're should head out now if we want to make that appointment."
"Appointment?" Robin repeats, before they can make it any further.
Sebastian reaches for the motorcycle jacket that's draped over the back of his computer chair. "Yeah, it's at a place called Immortal Ink? They're doing a two for one deal on piercings, so we're both going to get one."
"Ooh, what are you getting?" Robin inquires. "One of those ear bars? Those are kind of cool."
"They're called industrials, Mom... and no, I was gonna get my septum pierced."
Robin's smile suddenly looks very forced. "Oh, well that's… fun."
Sebastian rolls his eyes. "I'll flip it up around Demetrius." To Sam, he mutters, "Gonna flip him something else, too."
"Wear your helmet, please!" Robin calls after them as they leave Sebastian's room.
Sam follows Sebastian outside, and into the garage. "Here," Sebastian says, holding out his helmet.
"Nah," Sam declines. "It's gonna mess up my hair."
Sebastian shoves the helmet into his hands. "Your entire head is going to get messed up if we crash," he says, his tone unusually stern. "And if a crash doesn't kill us, your mom definitely will."
"That's fucking morbid, dude," Sam replies. He looks down at the helmet – black, with a couple nasty looking scuff marks. Sam wonders how many spills Sebastian's taken on his bike. "What are you going to wear?" he asks, as he turns the helmet over in his hands.
Sebastian shrugs. "I've only got the one helmet," he says, in place of an actual answer. "You wear it."
"Seb-"
"It's fine," Sebastian insists. He turns away from Sam. "I'm gonna smoke myself to death one day anyways, what's the big deal?"
Sam inhales sharply. He sets the helmet down on the seat of Sebastian's motorbike, then reaches out to grip Sebastian's shoulders in his now-free hands, turning his boyfriend around to face him. "Hey," Sam says, in a voice that's nowhere near steady as he needs to be, "don't say things like that."
"Sorry," Sebastian replies, but he's still not looking Sam in the eyes. "Bad joke. Let's just go, okay? I don't wanna argue with you on my birthday."
"I don't wanna fight, either," Sam reassures him. "I just… I wanna know what's up." He leans forward, nudging Sebastian's nose with his own, and Sebastian's eyes finally flicker up to meet his. "Seb is everything okay? You never worried about helmets before."
"I've just been thinking," Sebastian answers, slowly. "I don't want to lose you."
Sam grips his shoulders tighter. "Seb, I'm not going anywhere-"
"The same way my mom lost my dad," he continues. "My real dad."
"Your dad died in a motorcycle accident?" Sam says, and then he winces internally, because he's pretty sure that's the wrong thing to ask.
"Car crash," Sebastian corrects him, "but yeah."
Sam swallows hard. "Shit."
He'd always known that Sebastian's biological father wasn't in the picture. Figuratively, but also literally – Robin had shown Sam a lot of baby photos. His best guess had been that Sebastian's father was a deadbeat. Sam could relate to that; he'd lived a large portion of his life without any sort of father figure. He'd lamented about it with Sebastian, too, figuring they had that in common.
Yoba, he was such an idiot.
How many times had he complained to Sebastian about that? His frustration at his dad's absence, his worries that there wouldn't be a return home. He wondered how Sebastian had managed to sit there and listen to him, how he'd comforted Sam, even though his situation was so, so much worse.
"Shit," Sam says again. He lets go of Sebastian's shoulders, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist instead, pulling him closer. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine, dude," Sebastian replies, sounding unreasonably collected for someone who was just forced to recall their dad's death. "I wasn't even born yet… not like I ever met him."
Sam figures Sebastian meant that last statement to be reassuring, but it just makes him feel even worse. He knows Sebastian; knows that he's probably thought about how his life might have played out differently if his real dad hadn't died… and now Sam's gone and brought the subject up again, on Sebastian's fucking birthday , of all days.
"I guess it can't be all that bad, anyways," Sebastian continues, because Sam's brain is too busy reeling to string proper sentences together. "Probably wouldn't have met you if my mom hadn't remarried."
"I'm sorry," Sam repeats. He presses his forehead against Sebastian's. "You know I don't wanna lose you either, Seb… which is why it scares me, when you say stuff like how you're gonna smoke yourself to death, or how it wouldn't matter if you disappeared. It matters to me , okay?"
"Shouldn't have said that," Sebastian agrees. "I'm sorry, too." He toys with sides of Sam's denim jacket. "Um, if it makes you feel any better… I was thinking of quitting, soon. Trying to, anyways."
"Yeah?" Sam asks, a small smile finally returning to his face. "That's great, Seb."
"Gonna be a bitch, but yeah. My mom'll be happy," Sebastian replies. "And you, so I guess it'll be worth it."
"Fuck yeah, it will," Sam agrees enthusiastically. "Gonna stock up on so much gum at work tomorrow. Do you want some of those patches? I can get you some of those patches. I dunno if Joja carries them, considering we live in a town with a population under fifty, and that includes fucking farm animals , but maybe-"
Sebastian cuts him off with a kiss. It's not a good kiss, because Sam really wasn't prepared for it, but it does effectively shut him up. "We can worry about that later," Sebastian says, once he's pulled back. "We got an appointment to make, remember?"
"Right. Your other birthday gift." Sam steps back, glancing over at the lone helmet sitting on Sebastian's bike. "But, um… only one helmet, remember? Maybe you should wear it; you're the one driving."
"You're wearing it," Sebastian says, dropping it into Sam's hands again. "Look, I can buy another one once we're in Zuzu, okay? We'll have two for the ride home."
Sam groans. "You're not supposed to be buying things for me on your birthday, dude," he complains before pulling the helmet on.
"Just consider it an early Winter Star gift," Sebastian replies. He takes a seat on the bike, and Sam climbs on behind him, wrapping his arms tight around Sebastian's waist. "Ready?"