Frail Heart
The line between hate, obsession, and need was fading quickly. He didn't know if he should have loved him or just tossed him away like a ragdoll, just as he'd done in the past. So unaware, he was ignorant as to whether to feel seething hatred or vivid adoration. Would judgment have been passed if he chose the tenderer of the two emotions? He'd probably see greater acceptance from the other boy if he'd simply forget the feelings completely. That, however, was extremely difficult considering he didn't have the least bit of knowledge on how to feel anything but confusion. He wanted to apologize, to cry and scream, telling him that he'd change. He craved to feel skin-on-skin contact without fists, wished touch his hand and caress the silky flesh covering bone and tendons. He would kill to pull the other into his outstretched arms for a warm embrace. His heart seemed far too confused each time it was graced with the presence of the angelic face, the godlike creature. His chest felt like it could explode at any given moment... He enjoyed the other, through the most immense fighting, death threats, and even being chased out of Ikebukuro. He liked Shizuo? Loved him? Was it friendship? Did Izaya crave more than just a companion from the caramel-eyed, blond "brute"? Each time Izaya's dark eyes locked with Shizuo's bright orbs, his heart beat like a jackhammer, yet it seemed as if it could have given up the blood-pumping in seconds. The feelings Shizuo induced created more inquiries than answers. Still, they made him hunger for greater connections, longer meetings. He didn't know what to believe, let alone the proper actions to take. Should he have left the feelings for Shizuo alone for good? Perhaps he should've followed his frail, quick heart to cease fighting with the other. Tears seared his bloodshot eyes; his heart beat even harder, the action in itself far from plausible, let alone possible. It wasn't imaginable that he'd ever be able to not fight with Shizuo, yet he was trying his hardest to make contact as little as possible. If he'd have seen him more, he may have just let his core give out. Would it have even been that bad for Izaya's heart to give in before the person he obsessed over, the beast that so quickly turned from a toy to a particular obsession.
'Shizuo…' He thought, right before he fell down onto the hard, wet blacktop in a hidden away alley in Ikebukuro. His eyes became heavy, likely from the lengthy chase he was participating in. Though not meaning to, he easily slipped into an uncomfortable slumber on the pavement.
"IZAYAAA!" He jolted awake at the echo of his favourite enemy's signature screech. He knew his blood would boil, pumping through his body at a massive rate while he would speed up and run, cackling manically at nothing in particular. The chance was offered, and he would take it no matter his desires. He would covet what he could get, attempting gallantly to forge a despising toward the other male.
Again, the two continued their silly game of cat and mouse. Izaya incessantly sat upon the blacktop until he was unable to stay. He quickly barreled to his feet, aware that he was only going to attempt to escape Shizuo. He didn't do it to end death anymore. He sprinted so Shizuo wouldn't figure him out. The black-haired character was far too unprepared. He wasn't strong enough to double his speed of every bodily function whilst around Shizuo, and he definitely wasn't ready to state anything without seething anger lying under the commentary.
Izaya just wanted his heart to explode already, long before Shizuo ruined him. Shizuo, unaware, was destroying Izaya at a greater, degenerative level as he made the other want… require more.
Shizuo surprisingly caught up to Izaya, sneakily having been directly behind him. He wasn't equipped with a street sign or vending machine, either. Izaya's heart was heading toward triple the average speed, and he knew he'd have to stop and let it calm down a bit before continuing. He slowed gradually until coming to a complete halt in front of Shizuo. Dropping to his knees, Izaya just huffed outward, laughing. Just as Shizuo stopped moving, trying to be as quiet as he could so Izaya wouldn't know he was there, he heard his counterpart whispering a small statement. "Shizu-chan, why the hell am I like this?" He paused, continuing on as if he knew Shizuo was listening. "Why do I have to get this way every time you're around?"
Shizuo had a questionable look as he decided to show himself to Izaya. He slowly trotted in front of the other boy, scuffing his shoes against the ground. He almost spat out his reply, another question, at the smaller boy. "Get what way, Izaya?"
Izaya's coal orbs widened while his head traveled up the blond's muscular frame. Shizuo noted that Izaya's eye bags were red and puffy.
'He's been crying…?' Shizuo stated the unavoidable fact, seeming to wonder as he did so. All he let audibly escape his lips was a regretted, snide comment. "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?"
Izaya's heartbeat reverberated so loudly, he was surprised Shizuo hadn't been able to hear it. He started to chuckle insanely like he always did when they played their simplistic game. For once, all Izaya could do was laugh like a mad-man. For the first time, he had nothing to say…