Carson sat at his desk, head in hands, staring at his computer screen. What was he missing? There had to be something he could do. He glanced at his patient. They were going to lose John Sheppard.

Beckett closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. The hissing and beeping of machines were the only sounds in this part of the infirmary. A memory flashed behind his eyelids: Sheppard and Ronon entering the clearing after Ellia…. Carson swallowed hard at the remembrance. His fault. He blinked as the memory receded, the image of blood dripping down John's arm fading. He had wondered at the time how much worse this could get. Now he knew.

The essence of John Sheppard was almost gone; two marines had died in that Iratus bug cave; six more had been injured when the colonel escaped from his quarters; and Carson hadn't missed the finger-sized bruises around Elizabeth's neck. What a fool he had been.

Footsteps echoed in the patient area. Carson pushed back his chair and waited, but no one came into view. After a minute, he decided it was time to check the pilot's vitals again. He grabbed Sheppard's chart and headed to the store room for vials and syringes. As he was leaving the supply area, he heard whispered words. Stopping to listen, he recognized Rodney McKay's voice.

"Look, Colonel, you've got to fight this. Carson is doing what he can, but voodoo only goes so far. I've tried, but I can't think of anything I can do to help you this time. So you've got to use that incredible Sheppard stubbornness and pull through. You've got to give me the chance to win back your trust, to make up for what I did."

Beckett eased soundlessly back into the storage area. He would only embarrass McKay if he let his presence be known. Carson knew there had been an issue between the Air Force colonel and the astrophysicist since Doranda. He hadn't realized that it was still unresolved. No wonder Rodney had been quiet lately, quiet for McKay anyway.

After another minute, the physician heard footsteps again. He peeked out the door and found the area by Sheppard's bed empty. Carson ran through a quick check of vitals and drew more blood. He double-checked the vitals and frowned. Blood pressure and temperature were dropping yet John was still thrashing about a bit, huge droplets sweat pouring off him. Beckett took a glance at the last blood-work results. A fuzzy idea began to form in the back of his mind, one so vague he wasn't ready to even name it yet. The doctor took a sample of the perspiration and rushed it over to the lab. Maybe it would tell him something, give him one more thing to try.

As the night wore on, John's condition worsened. The man really was dying. If only they'd gotten those eggs! There had to be a way to fix this, for something good to come of Ellia's death and John's…condition. Carson's resolve doubled. This retrovirus had to be perfected.

He startled at a sound, eyes darting up to find Elizabeth Weir gazing at him.

"Are you OK, Carson?"

"No, I'm not OK. Regardless of what the colonel said, I can't let this go. This is my fault."

"Carson-"

"No, Elizabeth, it is. Colonel Sheppard is dying, and there is nothing I can do to save him. But I can make sure that his death has meaning. I will find a way to make this retrovirus work."

"You know that John does not blame you, and he wouldn't want you to blame yourself. You've done everything humanly possible to save him, even risking your own life back in that cave. You didn't force Ellia to take that drug or to attack Sheppard."

"I know that, but I invented the damn thing which makes me just as guilty."

"I'm not going to argue that point with you right now. But, I would like to get an update on his condition."

"As I said, he's dying. His blood pressure continues to drop. I've taken him off the viral inhibitor, but I'm keeping him in a coma for his, and our, protection. He won't last more than a day, maybe two."

Weir lowered her head and then turned to gaze at her military commander. He was surrounded by monitors, IVs in both arms. The blue scales had almost totally taken over his face. So little of him left that she recognized. Even his beautiful hazel eyes had mutated. She sighed and looked back at Carson who regarded her sadly.

"There's nothing more you can do?"

"No, love. If you want to say goodbye, now might be the best time."

Elizabeth nodded. "I'll go tell the others."

Carson watched Elizabeth leave and then checked Sheppard one more time. No change. Beckett went back to his office, rubbing gritty eyes. He stretched and wondered where he could find a good cup of coffee at this hour. Glancing down at his desk, he saw the analyses of the blood-work and perspiration had been completed. He scanned the results, his scowl deepening. Dammit! The man was turning into a bug. Sheppard was really mutating…into…one…of….

"Dr. Weir, I need to speak to you immediately!"

The End.