Have you seen Mockingjay Part 2 yet? Did you see THAT part!? Why of all the details in the books they had to choose THAT part to make it so true, so real, so painful. WHY!?
No. I refused to believe Finnick is dead. NO.
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Suzanne Collins. I own the sole miracle to bring him back to life.
Was he dead yet?
The first thing Finnick was aware of was the darkness. He wasn't sure if it was because his eyes were closed or because Hell was dark.
The second thing he realized was the numbness. Finnick tried to move his arm, but he could not even find it. What happened to him again?
The question kept repeating itself in his head before he gave up to the darkness and drifted away.
Pain.
It shot through him, woke him up of the darkness. Finnick still saw nothing though. But with the pain, now he knew that he had a body.
Talk about body, a fear slowly crept up his vein, and Finnick couldn't help but shudder, or try to, as he finally, finally, knew what happened to him. Mutts. Thousands of mutts. They bit and cut and digested him like a piece of meat, a prize for dinner.
He struggled, fighting back the urge to fall back to sleep, to the horrifying nightmare where he was drowned, and teeth and fangs one by one sunk into him...
The third time he came back to his consciousness was when something poked him really hard to where his leg should be. It was hard to say, Finnick thought he had been drowned by morphin. Obviously he had a leg there, but when he tried to move it away he could not find it, or, he hoped desperately, it didn't obey him. Finnick prayed for the latter.
The pain kept him awake longer this time. Finnick vaguely recalled what had happened. He remembered kissing Annie and told her he would be safe and come back to her in no time. He had left with Katniss, and then they were chased by mutts under a tunnel in the Capitol. He remember the adrenaline running wildly in his vein as he ran for his life, and the fear watching a mutt climbing up after Katniss. He remembered protecting her, just to be dragged back down to the dark tunnel where the blood-thirsty mutts with his ear-piercing scream were ready to claim him their dinner...
The pain increased, this time in his ribs. It reminded him so much of the mutts. Panic kicked in as the worst scenario played voluntarily in his head, where the rebel was defeated, Katniss was dead, Annie was captured by the Capitol, and Finnick was being turned into a mutt to kill his friends...
There were murmurs around him, but Finnick still couldn't make out what they said.
He was vaguel aware of his situation. Apparently, he was not dead. One more thing, every single cell on his body hurt. For quite a few times he wished they had left him die in peace, or pieces, as he should have been.
He wanted to ask out loud if the rebel won yet. Was Snow dead? Did Katniss kill him? Where was Annie, was she safe? Did Coin protect her as she had promised? So many questions yet none had an answer.
The anxiety of being left in the dark slowly got its clawns on him. Soon, Finnick thought, he was going insane. With only the fear to be friend with, he wondered what parts of him had left, what parts were already in those mutts' stomachs.
He hoped, no, prayed actually, that there was more than just his voice.
"Can you hear me, Finnick? Can you answer me?"
How a doctor could be so dumb was beyond Finnick's imagination. Of course he could not answer! He couldn't even open his eyes! Even a snort was an impossible mission for him to achieve. And why did they have to poke him? Didn't they know that he had already hurt enough for his entire life? Finnick imagined throwing a pillow at the doctor's face and telling him to leave. It was sastifying yet desperate at the same time.
At the very least now he could hear. He could know that they had won, and the Capitol was defeated. Snow and Coin were both dead, Katniss was back to 12 with Haymitch. But no word about Annie, Gale, Peeta or Johanna was spoken. As if they didn't even exist. Finnick tried to keep his remaining sanity by staying positive, never letting himself wander to the part "what if..."
"Is there any hope for him?"
Valid question.
"I don't know. We just have to wait for a miracle to happen. This is so far what we can do for him."
Even staying positive was kind of the luxury he cound't afford in this case.
The door clicked opened as Finnick woke up.
Come to think about it, he was not sure if "wake up" was the right word he should use, when all he did all day for an uncertain amount of time was lying like a dead body. He was not even sure how many parts of him were dead. His eyes were now classified as "useless", and "snort" was still something he dreamed of achieving.
For quite a while he had given up to the outside world. One would feel the same if they were him. His mind was trapped in a prison that used to be his body. Right at the moment it was just a mess of bones, blood and meat, that he was sure of. Finnick distracted himself of the boredom by recalling everything he knew of Annie, Mags, of home, and their friends. He imagined what they probably were doing, as he laid there, three forth dead. Annie, she must have been home by now. She could have sat by the door of the small house, staring at the beach, on her hands was the rope that he had given her, something to distract herself while he was far away...
Annie, whose hair shone under the sun like a fire done wild, whose smile lightened up the whole world, whose kiss warmed him up even in the darkest and coldest of night...
The sudden contact where his hand must have been rocked him back to life. Finnick could have gasped if he could. A moment settled down before he shockingly realized his hand was wrapped in another.
It was warm, and dry. The hand of a woman, a mother, who had suffered too much to name.
The smell confirmed his doubt - smell of herbs, flowers, and medicine. It was Mrs. Everdeen, who was running her fingers through his hair slowly and confortingly.
After a long time, her presence suddenly reminded Finnick of home. Home, where he longed for. Home, where his family and friends were now safe.
"Hello, my boy," - Her voice trembled, and he took in a deep breath, afraid of what she could say - "it's been a rough time, isn't it? I'm sorry, I wish I could have visited you earlier, but, you know..." - She swallowed, he could hear the sound of tears coming up to both of them. It has been so long since the last thing reminded Finnick that there was still a part alive in him. - "I'm sorry..." - She cracked up, and Finnick felt his throat tightened - "I'm so sorry Finnick... It was too hard for me, losing my husband, my daughters, my home..."
She cried. He could feel her trembling figure next to his arm. A tear leaked out of the corner of his eye. Prim was dead. She was too young and sweet. So many people had died to free Panem. The price was too high, too red, too painful... He cried for all the people they had lost. For Rue, for Mags, the innocent part of Peeta's soul,... everything.
"Foolish me, why do I bother you with the grief of a mother?" - Mrs. Everdeen whispered, wiping his tears away. - "You hear me, right Finnick? Thank God you hear me. My boy... Annie misses you so so much, she misses you every single day. And her boy, your boy, Finnick... You have a son!... A beautiful innocent angel. He will grow up in a better world, right? He will grow up with a family, Finnick. You can't leave them. Don't do that to your son, don't do the same thing I've done to my daughters. Don't abandon them..."
He had a son... What? It was hard to breath. He had a son! A son! A baby boy. With Annie. And he had doubted if he could ever feel happy again...
"Wake up, Finnick. For your family."
I will.
Blinking was a challenge, but he made it.
"Good job. Now try to follow the light." - The doctor said - a man of middle age - "Can you do that for me?"
It was surprisingly exhausted.
"Try nodding your head."
Finnick glared at the doctor, as if he hadn't felt enough pain. The doctor gave him a bashful smile.
"We'll move to it later then."
It was still an achievement though, the glare. But it would still take a huge amount of time before he could throw pillows at people.
They allowed him to stay awake to see his wound this time. The last few times they knock Finnick up, in the fear of him being shocked to death again, seeing "his body".
Well, Finnick mused, to himself of course, as his voice was still mysteriously missing, that was better than he had first thought. He stared at the mirror, admiring what the doctors joked as their "masterpiece". It was hard to regconize the same body of the victor under so many layer of pieces and pieces connected together by sewing. A leg of him was totally replaced, as the doctors explained they...er, well... couldn't find all of its pieces. There was also a large scar running from the corner of his right eyes to his lips, but considered to the rest of him his face was too beautiful.
Finnick managed to make a sound between of choking and laughing. He didn't understand why the doctors and nurses kept repeating sorry, and that was everything they could do. They brought him up from the dead, what was to sorry?
His voice sounded like an Avox, he said to the nurse. She replied he should feel lucky that he could still speak at all.
And it was true, though Finnick was startled the first time he heard his voice. He thought it was someone else.
To reward him, Mrs. Everdeen came to visit the next day with a gift. It was a picture of Annie and his son. The picture brought him to tears as he listened to Mrs. Everdeen talked. No one else knew he was alive, because the doctors hadn't been sure if they could save him or not. Even now, as he finally managed to sit up by himself, the possibility of him dying again was still too high. Finnick understood that they didn't want to plan hope to Annie's heart, just to kill it off later.
But it was too hard to bear. He cried like a baby on Mrs. Everdeen'd shoulder, wishing with every cell in his body that his love for family was enough to bring him home.
The hospital held a party to celebrate his first step. A nurse made him a necklace so that he could keep the picture of Annie and his son in there. A doctor predicted that he could go home after one more year.
That made three years already. Three years missed out of his family. Finnick had missed his son's first word, first step...
One more year, what else would he miss?
At the end of the party, he retreated back to his room. He missed Annie, he missed his son, he missed home.
And where were they now? His friends? Was Johanna alright now? Had she found someone to love? What about Gale? Was he okay after the bombs? And Katniss and Peeta, Haymitch? Were they alright as well? Had they found their peace of mind?
Finnick had always felt isolated from the outside world. So far away. He felt guilty that no one even knew he was alive but Mrs Everdeen. His fingers traced around the necklace, where his family was safe from every harm.
"Don't worry. Daddy will come back for you soon." - He whispered.
Finnick was allowed to move out to a small house with garden and lake with Mrs. Everdeen, who would keep him safe if anthing happened. His state was much more stable now, but to be the fighter he once was, it was simply impossible.
He would stay there for six months, so that the doctors could be sure of him. They had done everything possible, even made him a new skin so that he could go swimming when he went back to his home. To say he was grateful of what they did was an understatement.
He couldn't keep his smile off his face. Six more months, and finnally after three years, 9 months and 6 days, he would reunite with his love, his family.
Home. He would be home.
He put the bag down the sand, staring out at the beach. There she was, a bit far, chasing after a little curly blonde boy.
Finnick felt a knot tighten in his throat. For almost four years, he had been waiting for this day.
"No, no Charlie. Charlie! Stop running! I'll catch you! Mommy will catch you!"
The little boy laughed, his eyes closed, running forward like there was no fear in the world could weight him down, He ran, and ran, straight to Finnick's open arms.
"Hey there, buddy..." - His voice cracked, as Finnick ran his fingers through his son hair - "Where are you going?"
Big innocent blue eyes stared up at him, full of curiousity and wonder. His chubby fingers slowly reached up to touch the scar on his face.
"It's okay son. It's me daddy. Daddy is here. Daddy is home." - Finnick laughed in tears - "Daddy is home."
A small scream made him look up. Standing a few feet away was Annie. Her red hair was blowing around like the wild fire he remembered. Her mouth hang open, and eyes were full with tears.
"Annie..."
"Finnick is that you?"
"Yes Annie. It is me here. Annie please."
"Real or not real?" - She whispered, the fear of losing him again written clearly on her face was the last straw to him. Finnick stood up, took three steps to her and kissed her deeply with all the love, all the fear, the pain he had to endure to wait for this moment.
"Real." - He spoke. - "It's real."
Annie broke into tears. Finnick let her hold him, shaking uncontrolably, and wrapped his son fast asleep in his arms. The sun was set, but the darkness couldn't scare them anymore, for now, they had each other.