Call this what you may… Enjoy. I don't own anything.
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It was sudden, too sudden. At first I was angry; I wanted to punch a brick wall and watch the blood run out of my bruised knuckles, but I realized that it wouldn't solve anything. It would only bring more pain to me. What's done is done, it's irreversible.
It was quiet in the large room, except for the occasional sniffle or a cough. I told myself going into this that I wasn't going to cry. As soon as I saw the open casket at the end of aisle with golden curls spilling out of the sides, I felt my knees buckle. Sitting in the front row made it worse. Constantly glancing at the picture of her smiling like she would always be happy then looking at the casket made my stomach turn.
I didn't want to be here, but I knew she would've hated me if I wasn't. The service began; it was loud but quiet at the same time. As parting words were spoken, it didn't sound like anyone was crying but without looking behind me I could tell that there were silent tears falling everywhere in the large room.
After about an hour of choking back tears, biting my lip every time I glanced at her face and trembling in disbelief where I sat, it was over.
The rest of us hadn't done much better; Amu and Yaya were in tears before they got in the building, Tadase and Kukai were nowhere near their happy-go-lucky selves. Even Utau and Ikuto had saddened expressions. Out of all of us, I had to be the worst looking, I had on a jet black suit with an orange tie, her favorite color, and some of my long violet hair was plastered to the side of my face due my excessive crying.
I couldn't help it, neither could her parents. They were seated next to me, huddled close together like they finally had something in common; they shared the same pain. Her father's arm was draped over her mother's shaky shoulders. I could barely hear her muffled cries but occasionally I would hear her mother's frail voice. "I want my baby back," it was lifeless, dead, filled with absolute despair.
I rose from my seat; it was time to say our last goodbyes. Feet shuffled in front of me then exited the room, before I knew it, I was alone.
I felt the seconds drag by, then the minutes. I finally built up enough potential to move my feet far enough that I was standing in front of her casket.
Even in death, she looked like an angel. Her golden curls still fell like strands of gold and her pale milky skin still looked vibrant. I took a strand of her hair and curled it around my finger as I inched towards her ear. "Goodbye." I breathed shakily. I felt like I had just lost a limb or a piece of my heart. It hurt saying goodbye.
"Excuse me," A voice from behind me spoke loudly. "Are you Nagihiko?" He asked as I turned around.
"Yes," I spoke with a mouse-like voice.
"Rima's parents said that this is for you," the gentleman held out a pale yellow envelope with Nagihiko written in her handwriting. He handed me the envelope then turned around and walked back out the double doors.
At first, I was afraid to open it, afraid to learn what secrets it revealed, but then realized that her last words were in the envelope, awaiting my eyes to read them. As if caring for a valuable document, I carefully opened the letter and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper that was covered in writing. I opened my brown eyes and began to read what she had to say.
Goodbye, Brown Eyes;
I'm glad that my last words are going out to you. Maybe you'll see the truth behind my death, unlike my parents or my friends or even Amu for that matter. The reason I cut my life so short was to bring my parents closer together. Since I was the reason that they were fighting all the time I decided that if I cut out the reason then the fighting would stop. I wish I could see the outcome, but that sounds quite selfish of a dead person.
Goodbye Sunshine,
You lit up my world and you mean the world to me. I'm sure you would do anything for me, dodge a bullet or even defeat death. I can imagine that you're mad at me, that's understandable but I hope you understand that I had to go. I had to leave. I don't have an answer or a reason, but I just had to.
I love you. With all of my heart and more, I wish I could stare into your brown eyes just one more time, to see you smiling back at me one last time. I'll miss it, I'll miss you. I never been honest about my feelings and I've never been honest with myself, but I am now. I have no regrets; I love you forever and always.
Take care of yourself; I know my passing will take a toll on you but don't let yourself go just because I'm not there to keep you in line.
Goodbye Brown Eyes, Goodbye for now;
~Rima
The ink was smudged with tears, but the smudges were already there when I opened the letter. She cried writing this for me; she meant every word of it.
I quietly rose from my seat, and approached her casket, this time with no fear. I picked up a rose from a bouquet of flowers and placed it on top of her gently folded hands.
I leaned towards her ear, "I love you too," I whispered, my voice showing the signs of fighting back tears. I took a deep breath and turned around and began to walk out. I love you too, I thought as I exited the door, passing through a comforting draft as I left the room.
I know this is kind of sad but I went to a funeral yesterday and I couldn't exactly get my feelings out unless I wrote it. Thanks for reading.
Review please.