Celebrity "Jeopardy!" - RPG All-Stars Edition
by DiamondClaw, 2/6/2004
spiritprincekoenma@yahoo.com
Author's Note: Before I begin this, I have to say that this is the first fic I've written in almost two years. If this fanfic for any reason sucks, blows, or is of poor, lacking quality, then by the theory that time is cyclical, it's not my fault. I don't own anybody mentioned in this fic except for myself and my monkey butler, Jeeves. I also don't own anything else that may or may not be mentioned. Enjoy (or not)!
(Jeopardy theme music plays)
Announcer: This....is....Jeopardy! Today, we have the RPG All-Stars edition for charity! Our contestants are...
(camera pans)
Announcer: From Spira, we have the Besaid Aurochs' captain, Wakka!
Wakka: Hey, ya!
Announcer: From the continent of Endiness, the Red Dragoon, Dart!
(Dart stares at the camera blankly.)
Announcer: And also from the Legend of Dragoon universe, the skimpy-uniform- wearing teen you love to hate, Meru!
Meru: I wanna pony, and a PS2, and a life, and a sequel....
Announcer: And your host, the irreplaceable idiot that has nothing better to do than to star in his own fanfics, the loveable, huggable, squeezeable imitation-brand Charmin Man, DiamondClaw!
(DC walks on stage and takes his place at the Podium of Idiocy.)
DC: Hello, and welcome to a special, RPG All-Stars edition of Celebrity Jeopardy. If you're not familiar with how Jeopardy is played, (aside) you dumbass. (aloud) then you probably shouldn't be watching this! While we prepare the board, let's have our celebrities talk about the charities they're playing for today. Wakka?
Wakka: Well, today I'll be playing for the People I've Hit With Stray Blitzballs Fund, ya? You see, it's a fund....for people....I've hit with stray blitzballs...(crowd goes silent).....ya? (crowd cheers)
DC: I.....(looks around nervously)....see. Okay! Next, Dart.
Dart: Me play well for money!
DC: That's great. But who exactly *are* you playing for?
Dart: Money!
DC: Money is not a person.
Wakka: What if you had a girl, and named it Money, ya?
DC: Quiet.
Dart: Oh! Then I play for Give Dart Money charity!
DC: Whatever. And....*cringes*...Meru?
Meru: Play! Play! PLAY!
DC: God, what did I do to deserve this treatment...?
(Meanwhile, in Heaven...)
God: *throws a dart at a dartboard blindfolded. It lands on "Host Miserable Fanfic."* Aww, I was hoping for "Destroy World!"
(Back in the studio)
DC: Okay, if, by some miracle of fate Meru wins, I get to claim her winnings. HA! Let's take a look at the board. The categories are:
Anime
The World You Live In
The Letter After "Y". Note that the answer to every question will be "Z'".
Tunic Or Gi?
Maniacal Destroyers Of The Known Universe
and finally, Terrorists Ending In "Bin Laden". Wakka, since you appear to be the most coherent, you can go first.
Wakka: I'll take "The Letter After 'Y'" for 200, ya?
DC: Ya.
Wakka: Ya ya.
DC: Ya.
Wakka : Ya ya ya.
DC: Stop it! For 200 gil....this is the letter that comes after Y.
Meru: *buzz* What is Y?
DC *stupefied*: Y?
Meru: Because I wanna know!
DC: Oy vey. No, that's wrong. Dart?
Dart: Y come after X!
DC: ...No, that's right, but wrong.
Dart: What? You confooz me! Why!?
DC: It's really not that hard. Wakka?
Wakka: Uh....what is Z, ya?
DC: Ya. 200 gil for Wakka. Select, please?
Wakka: Manical Destroyers of the Known Universe for 1000, ya.
DC: Ya.
Wakka: Ya ya.
DC: Not this again....*reads* This Maniacal Destroyer of the Known Universe is named Sephiroth.
Wakka: What is Sin?
DC: No.
Dart: CONFOOZD! CONFOOOOOZED!
DC: .....Time's up. The answer was SEPHIROTH. Sephiroth's name is Sephiroth. Dart, pick something, just for the hell of it.
Dart: Um....uh...I'll take "Tunic Orgy" for 200.
DC: That's TUNIC OR GI.
Dart: CONFOOZD!
DC: Jesus, I can't take this!!! *starts to hyperventilate* Okay, commercial break...go to a break!!!
(cut to commercial)
--Chapter One, End— --feedback appreciated--
Author's Note: Before I begin this, I have to say that this is the first fic I've written in almost two years. If this fanfic for any reason sucks, blows, or is of poor, lacking quality, then by the theory that time is cyclical, it's not my fault. I don't own anybody mentioned in this fic except for myself and my monkey butler, Jeeves. I also don't own anything else that may or may not be mentioned. Enjoy (or not)!
(Jeopardy theme music plays)
Announcer: This....is....Jeopardy! Today, we have the RPG All-Stars edition for charity! Our contestants are...
(camera pans)
Announcer: From Spira, we have the Besaid Aurochs' captain, Wakka!
Wakka: Hey, ya!
Announcer: From the continent of Endiness, the Red Dragoon, Dart!
(Dart stares at the camera blankly.)
Announcer: And also from the Legend of Dragoon universe, the skimpy-uniform- wearing teen you love to hate, Meru!
Meru: I wanna pony, and a PS2, and a life, and a sequel....
Announcer: And your host, the irreplaceable idiot that has nothing better to do than to star in his own fanfics, the loveable, huggable, squeezeable imitation-brand Charmin Man, DiamondClaw!
(DC walks on stage and takes his place at the Podium of Idiocy.)
DC: Hello, and welcome to a special, RPG All-Stars edition of Celebrity Jeopardy. If you're not familiar with how Jeopardy is played, (aside) you dumbass. (aloud) then you probably shouldn't be watching this! While we prepare the board, let's have our celebrities talk about the charities they're playing for today. Wakka?
Wakka: Well, today I'll be playing for the People I've Hit With Stray Blitzballs Fund, ya? You see, it's a fund....for people....I've hit with stray blitzballs...(crowd goes silent).....ya? (crowd cheers)
DC: I.....(looks around nervously)....see. Okay! Next, Dart.
Dart: Me play well for money!
DC: That's great. But who exactly *are* you playing for?
Dart: Money!
DC: Money is not a person.
Wakka: What if you had a girl, and named it Money, ya?
DC: Quiet.
Dart: Oh! Then I play for Give Dart Money charity!
DC: Whatever. And....*cringes*...Meru?
Meru: Play! Play! PLAY!
DC: God, what did I do to deserve this treatment...?
(Meanwhile, in Heaven...)
God: *throws a dart at a dartboard blindfolded. It lands on "Host Miserable Fanfic."* Aww, I was hoping for "Destroy World!"
(Back in the studio)
DC: Okay, if, by some miracle of fate Meru wins, I get to claim her winnings. HA! Let's take a look at the board. The categories are:
Anime
The World You Live In
The Letter After "Y". Note that the answer to every question will be "Z'".
Tunic Or Gi?
Maniacal Destroyers Of The Known Universe
and finally, Terrorists Ending In "Bin Laden". Wakka, since you appear to be the most coherent, you can go first.
Wakka: I'll take "The Letter After 'Y'" for 200, ya?
DC: Ya.
Wakka: Ya ya.
DC: Ya.
Wakka : Ya ya ya.
DC: Stop it! For 200 gil....this is the letter that comes after Y.
Meru: *buzz* What is Y?
DC *stupefied*: Y?
Meru: Because I wanna know!
DC: Oy vey. No, that's wrong. Dart?
Dart: Y come after X!
DC: ...No, that's right, but wrong.
Dart: What? You confooz me! Why!?
DC: It's really not that hard. Wakka?
Wakka: Uh....what is Z, ya?
DC: Ya. 200 gil for Wakka. Select, please?
Wakka: Manical Destroyers of the Known Universe for 1000, ya.
DC: Ya.
Wakka: Ya ya.
DC: Not this again....*reads* This Maniacal Destroyer of the Known Universe is named Sephiroth.
Wakka: What is Sin?
DC: No.
Dart: CONFOOZD! CONFOOOOOZED!
DC: .....Time's up. The answer was SEPHIROTH. Sephiroth's name is Sephiroth. Dart, pick something, just for the hell of it.
Dart: Um....uh...I'll take "Tunic Orgy" for 200.
DC: That's TUNIC OR GI.
Dart: CONFOOZD!
DC: Jesus, I can't take this!!! *starts to hyperventilate* Okay, commercial break...go to a break!!!
(cut to commercial)
--Chapter One, End— --feedback appreciated--