A/N: This has been in the works for quite a while now, but I feel like I have enough to start posting. Thank you very much to TestShip who reads through these chapters for me and gives me pointers, you're awesome. It's set in Series 3 but will go AU from there, so no spoilers for Series 4. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Downton Abbey, anything you recognise here will most likely belong to Julian Fellowes etc etc.

The Long and Winding Road

Prologue

Anna felt as though she still existed in a haze of bliss. The lady's maid assumed that this must be what all new wives felt like after their wedding day and night, the weeks of her heart leaping whenever he turned the corner, the butterflies that erupted every time they kissed and, mostly, the desire she felt every time they touched. Her husband was finally back after eighteen months wrongly imprisoned for murder, and now she felt as though she could settle into their new life together. She had once observed the happiness – the elation – between Lady Mary and Mr Matthew on their honeymoon in France. All of the secret glances, the small smiles and the amount of time spent in their hotel bedroom all came rushing back to her as she realised that this is how she would have felt.

Although regretfully, the part about spending time in their bedroom had yet to arrive for them.

The cottage Lord Grantham had once promised them was being arranged. Lord Grantham had thankfully brought up the offer moments after seeing Bates upon his return to Downton, meaning that John had not needed to start that conversation. But, nevertheless, there was no cottage yet and rules below stairs deemed them unfit to share a bedroom. Yet, Anna could hardly blame Mr Carson or Mrs Hughes for putting John back in his old room, and leaving her in her own. It was likely never to have even crossed their minds to have put the married couple together, although that did not stop their hearts sinking when Mr Carson had announced that wonderful morning that one of the hall boys should take Mr Bates' things back to his old room. They had shared a brief, mournful glance, but that was all it had been until seeking each other out later that day, a time when they could speak alone. Both of them knew, and agreed, that being together was unthinkable at the moment – they respected their superiors, and the unwavering support and faith they had given recently, to ever go behind their backs in such a manner. But that did not stop the couple reacquainting themselves with each other in other ways, spending stolen moments in the courtyard on an evening or going on long evening walks in the extensive grounds on offer.

But despite their separate rooms, the prospect of living together as man and wife, as well as keeping their respective jobs at the house, left the two of them reeling in happiness. And they were eager to begin with the rest of their lives. They had been to visit the cottage on John's second day back – the family giving Anna some time off as well to spend some well-deserved time with her husband, although much to the chagrin of two certain members of staff – and Anna and John had both stood outside, waiting for the day when they would move in. He had kissed her outside the cottage, yielding a new promise for their future now that it was close enough to reach out and grasp.

Anna was sat outside now, a week after John had been released, taking advantage of the rare warm weather in Yorkshire which seemed to have also crossed the mind of another servant as a table had been brought outside to work on. Anna was finishing some mending of Lady Mary's that had slipped her mind the past couple of days, one of the feathers having come loose from one of her pretty hats. Her work had her so engrossed that she failed to notice her husband joining her outside, only turning around when she felt his shoulder brush against hers as he took a seat beside her.

"Hello," Anna smiled as she turned around, smiling lazily. Just being able to cast her eyes upon him in these surroundings had become a welcome to Anna, not having to look at him in the dark, dirty surroundings of the prison anymore left Anna extremely grateful that they were finally here.

Anna quickly checked that no one had followed him outside and, seeing that the coast was clear, she leant forward and pressed her lips to his promptly, the kiss lasting little more than a second or two.

John, however, found it no less pleasing. The corners of his lips rose into a smile, one of those that reached his eyes and made the skin around them contort and wrinkle. Anna had vowed she would commit as many of these occasions to memory as she could, and also vowed to be their cause.

"What was that for?"

"Can a wife not be pleased to see her husband?" Anna teased back.

"I certainly can't argue with that," Bates smiled back, leaning forward to catch her lips once more.

Anna giggled as his lips teased hers further, however upon hearing the back door close noisily, they drew apart promptly, only to find that Miss O'Brien had joined them outside. It seemed that, while their kiss had not been detected, their closeness still owed a scowl from their fellow colleague.

"I see we'll all have to be on our guard in the future," O'Brien commented nastily, lighting a cigarette.

"It sounds as though you're jealous," Anna retorted quickly.

Miss O'Brien scoffed. "I'm not jealous." She took a drag on her cigarette, leaning back against the wall, and Anna turned her nose away with a scowl. The smell had never been pleasant to her.

Bates, who had now sat down beside Anna, was attempting to keep a straight face by looking ahead. Occasionally, out of the corner of his eye he would look at Anna, priding himself in the firm stance that she took with the woman who had loathed him since he had first arrived all those years ago. Her strength had to be one of the many attributes that he admired, and loved, about her character. Had it not been for this strength, he feared the two of them may never have accepted their love for each other in the beginning, and he would certainly not have been released from prison when he had been. Bates decided that he must thank his lucky stars for either Mr or Mrs Smith who in doubt passed such redeeming attributes to their daughter. It only saddened him to realise that he would never meet her mother or father – her father having passed away just after Anna had taken her position here, and her mother having sadly passed during his time in prison.

"I had better leave you lovebirds to it," O'Brien scowled once more, throwing the remains of her cigarette and stamping on it briefly before heading back inside.

Her voice had caused Bates to stir from his thoughts, and as he turned his head to acknowledge her exit he caught his wife's eye again. The words slipped from his tongue before he could even comprehend them, "Alone at last."

Her lips curved upwards immediately, and Anna let out an endearing giggle as she could hardly resist closing the distance between them once more, pressing her lips to his.

"It seems you can barely keep your hands off me," Bates teased her.

"Well, we do have a lot of time to make up for." Anna replied seductively, moving her hands flat against his chest, causing something to stir within him.

He decided to play along. "Whatever could you mean, Mrs Bates?"

Anna was slowly inching closer to her husband once more, their lips perilously close to each other once more. "Perhaps I could show you sometime, Mr Bates."

The thrill of using their last names would never die, both thought, their minds in sync.

"I look forward to it," Bates whispered hoarsely, aware of his desire stirring at her suggestive tone.

Anna tilted her head to one side seductively, providing him with a rather bold view of her neckline, the one she remembered he had wreathed with kisses on their wedding night. Her lips were moving closer and closer once more, her objective being to give him the smallest of teasers of what was to come. Her lips had just touched the corner of his mouth when the back door could be heard opening behind them –

"Anna!"

Mrs Hughes called her, causing them both to jump apart frantically.

Bates coughed nervously as his gaze met that of Mrs Hughes, and he began to rub his neck.

Anna turned around, her face quite pink.

"Anna, a letter has just been delivered for you."

Anna would hardly have cared had it not been for the tone of concern laced into the voice of the housekeeper.

She immediately sprung to her feet, beckoning for John to follow her as she went inside after Mrs Hughes, finding Mr Carson stood in the entrance to the servants' hall, holding out a rather perilous looking letter for her.

It was addressed to Anna Bates in a hand-writing she did not recognise. Taking the envelope and turning it over, she failed to recognise the eyes of almost everyone present in the hall on her. When her eyes fell on the return address, however, her knees weakened a little.

The letter was from Claxton, and from the neighbouring address to her sister. There was also a side note, to please deliver as quickly as possible.

Her breathing became a little shaky, and from then she instantly felt the subtle reassurance of her husband's hand upon the small of her back.

Although she did not turn and thank him, she knew he would know that she appreciated his gesture. She knew him, and rarely would he ever choose to touch her affectionately, and intimately, in such a public setting. John Bates had been a stoic, reserved man since the day she met him, and rarely did he show any emotion in front of their colleagues.

Anna opened the letter slowly, unaware that everyone else was waiting for a reaction, and her lip trembled as she read the top line. It was only her name, but the overwhelming, uneasy feeling attached to the letter ensured that she knew the subject of the letter would not be a good one.

Dear Anna,

Anna let out a shaky breath before she continued to read, stepping back subconsciously a little into his touch.

She started again.

Dear Anna,

You may not remember me, but my name is June Cowden, I live next door to your sister. We met a couple of times before, when you have visited.

The subject of this letter is not a good one, and I regret to inform you that your sister passed away in the early hours of this morning. The doctor confirmed that it was a serious case of scarlet fever. Elizabeth stayed with us for the days when Rose was suffering the worst of it and we are also taking care of her now. We wanted her to be with familiar people. We would have sent you news of Rose's illness sooner, had it not been for the suddenness of it all. It all happened so quickly.

Since you are Elizabeth's only surviving relative, and Godmother, we knew you would be the only one to contact. I asked that we could be the ones to inform you, just so that you know personally that she is all right.

I am sorry for your loss, and we hope you will be able to make the trip soon.

Anna failed to take in the rest of the letter – a few details about legal matters and such, although written with tenderness so as not to make it seem overwhelming. She took another shaky breath, her hands beginning to tremble as her eyes scanned the letter once more – a futile hope that this was all a mistake.

Elizabeth had been her one, remaining live family member. Her youngest sister, Lucy, had died at the age of three from scarlet fever too when Anna had been eight. Her father had passed away only two months after she had begun working at Downton Abbey. Her brother, Daniel, had died on the front at the Battle of the Somme – as had her sister's husband – and her mother had passed away not two months after the imprisonment of her husband.

For a moment, Anna struggled to regain her breath.

She could feel herself beginning to panic, and was ever the more grateful that her husband was gently caressing the small of her back through her uniform. It was subtle reassurance, but reassurance all the same.

However, as her mind strayed from the comforting feeling and back onto the contents of the letter, she began to feel physically sick. She could taste the bile rising up her throat, and she knew in that moment that she had to get outside.

Turning abruptly, she pushed the letter into the hands of her husband, signalling that she wanted him to read it, before rushing outside, covering her mouth.

Bates – as well as everyone else present – was visibly stunned.

However, before anyone could enquire as to the letter and its contents, Bates began to read the letter quickly. He skimmed through it at a record pace, even for a fast reader such as himself, and his heart sunk and clenched uncomfortably as he digested the words that had been carefully written.

His poor, darling Anna must be heartbroken. He closed his eyes painfully.

"Mr Bates, whatever is the matter?" Mrs Hughes asked quietly, reaching to touch his arm affectionately.

Whilst he knew that a lot of the servants here were nosy, when Bates looked up and saw the concern in the eyes of the housekeeper, he could not prevent the words from falling despairingly from his lips, "Anna's sister… She died, this morning… Scarlet fever…"

Mrs Hughes gasped quietly, knowing as much as Mr Bates that her sister had been her only other close family member. Mr Carson swallowed uncomfortably, perhaps because the covering following Lady Sybil's untimely death still hung around the house painfully. Some of the servants who had heard his words gasped quietly, even Thomas seemed a little shocked and said nothing.

"I need to… find her. I need to go and find her."

Bates turned and stumbled, heavily relying on his cane as he rushed out of the back door to find his wife.

Once outside, he scanned the courtyard thoroughly for her, his eyes eventually setting on a figure in the corner, right away from the door. She was hunched over, clenching her middle, and he could hear the sounds of her emptying her stomach contents.

Bates grimaced at her pain, but immediately rushed across to her side, ignoring his knee, bringing his hand to her back and rubbing until she had finished.

When she had, Anna turned immediately and fell into his chest, sobbing openly now.

She hiccupped, "J–John!"

He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back, soothing her like he would a child. Barely any words were spoken from there, just a few loving, whispered words of reassurance as he kissed her hairline, her temple, her forehead…

Eventually, Anna calmed and pulled away. Her eyes were bright red and puffy, and her hands were still shaking a little. "Does everyone know?"

Bates nodded, "Yes, they heard."

Anna nodded too. "Good, I don't think I could bear telling them myself."

Bates could feel his heart shattering by the second – shards were cutting his insides painfully every time he looked into her eyes and knew he could do little, if anything, to stop her sorrow and pain.

When Anna had calmed down a little – at least enough to speak clearly – she brought up the subject of her niece, her goddaughter, "What about Lizzy… she will come and live with us. She has to, she has no one left. But the cottage, she will have to stay here. His Lordship may not allow it, Mrs Hughes might not allow it…"

Anna was beginning to panic once more. As she continued to ramble on, John took hold of her shoulders and brought her to his chest once more, silencing her worries and easing her fears.

After a few moments, he brought her back to look her in the eyes.

He reached up his right hand to cup her cheek, his left hand clasped around hers. "Anna, you know the family will support you. And the same of Mrs Hughes."

Anna nodded, aware that he was correct. But her lip still trembled. "And you?"

Bates looked at her as if she had asked the most incredulous question in the entire world and, in a way, she had.

Anna watched for his reaction, fearing that she may not receive the answers she longed for. After all, he had just been released from prison. He was most likely looking forward to months of it being just the two of them, as it should have been had it not been for the cruel twist of fate that resulted in him imprisoned. Would he want to welcome a girl into their lives that he had never met? That he was of no relation to? The situation scared Anna, because despite all of the obstacles that had blocked their road so far, there had never been one shaped quite like this.

But as she watched him, she could see nothing in his eyes but love.

"Are you mad?" Bates whispered hoarsely, squeezing her hand tightly. "Of course I will."

Anna closed her eyes, tears falling from them, and nodded, still trembling.

"Your support has been unwavering these last years," John continued softly, stroking her face with his other hand. "And I am going to be with you now, for every step."

John leant forwards and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He knew she would need to talk more about her sister at a later date, but for now she needed to sort everything in her head. She would need time, and he would give her anything she needed. He would do anything to make her life better from here on in.

Anna whispered back tearfully, her voice wobbling, "For every step."

"For every step." Bates confirmed.

A/N (2): I plan on updating this once a week if I can now that it's the Christmas holidays (although there's still essays, fun!). I already have quite a bit written, and all of it planned out because I really don't want to get behind with it. Please let me know what you thought about it so far.