Shameful Metaphors:
He knew exactly where he stood. It was somewhere in the dark, somewhere in the safety of being close to knowing, but never fully getting the information he most longed for. He stood in the same spot in relation to her. What he wanted most, what he was so close to, was something he could never obtain.
Amon had known, the one they were after had finally arrived. He walked down the dark hallway, knowing the information he already knew was about to be given to him once again.
So, it really wasn't a surprise when he saw the two of them.
The two men.
The father and son.
The seed and the witch.
The air was heavy, thick with tension and emotion. Amon felt like an intruder, but was he really intruding if the man wanted him to see?
He acted as if he couldn't see Amon, staring down at his son once again. "Only reason you abandoned me...though I would return to Japan one day..." The words came and went, hard to hear from his position. The young man's angry rant slowed, his voice softening. "But it was different." The son clutched his side, gasping, and curled over himself.
"Yutaka!" The father, always so distant, always bringing up his walls, caught his son.
"You would call me by that?" He fought hard to spit out his words. He fought to have his voice ring with an anger that should have been there. "By a name that's so human?"
Inside, by those words, Amon wanted to break. To break the walls, those damn walls put up, those walls that had to be there. The ones that bound these people, his people of the underground world, to their terrible fate.
But he couldn't. He knew it, before coming, before the first time he was told.
The father and son, the same as in the dark room, were being torn apart.
Amon was young, fifteen at the time. He had been a Hunter for only a few months and already as he saw it he knew he had already been taught that lesson.
As the son had been pulled away, shot full of drugs by Amon's comrades, Amon knew he had already known it.
The father would never be him.
He vowed he would never even become a lover.
These people didn't deserve that kind of relation.
"That thought became unforgivable." The father desperately spoke to the son. He wanted nothing more then to show him what lay beyond those walls. "Before you harmed anyone, I had to break that spell that runs in my body..."
That curse that ran through their veins.
"I knew that."
Amon knew that too. Maybe that was why his mother had done what she had, and maybe that was why he had known from the very start.
"No, maybe I realized it after I went to America."
That the world he lived in was not a world that existed.
"This power can only be used to kill peop-" The son could finish. He was dying in the light of the moon through the window. "Damn it...My wound from before..."
"Yutaka, that's enough." The father was breaking the barriers, he needed his son to know what they both already knew. "Don't speak anymore."
Why had it changed? Why did he need to be reminded once again that he had no choice? He could only be so close, never touching.
"No, I don't care...I wouldn't live much longer anyway..." His voice caught, again and again. "That organization wouldn't let a traitor live."
Again those words rang too true. They hit Amon where he didn't want to feel, but stirred somewhere within him.
He blocked out their words. It didn't matter what they were saying, he already knew it.
Amon knew he wasn't supposed to, he knew why, but still he stood in the dark. Never touching the light just before him, never getting close enough, he stood. Cold and distant in the eyes of an other.
Scared and yearning in his heart.
"...to see my father...and apologize..." He slipped further from his father's arms and soon slipped completely away.
Tears ran down the father's face. Rivers finally broke through the dam he had built up far too long ago, just a second too late.
His sobs filled the room, filled the darkness. Amon stared blankly at him as the father turned to look at him.
"No, I didn't abandon him because I was afraid he'd harm others." The lecture that the father so badly wanted to give Amon flowed from his lips. "I was afraid of his...power." It was a warning not to get to close to...the light, to the world that they didn't live in. It was a warning to not get to close to the world that existed. "This cursed destiny that runs through my blood." That ran through Amon's blood...and her's. "No, I do not have the right to call myself a father." Kobari's voice died just like his son.
The walls came back up.
Amon knew...but why did it pain him so much now? It couldn't be her, he refused to admit it could.
Why did he want something so badly that he knew he could never have?
Why her?
He stopped asking questions, he wouldn't have it.
He left that night, hiding once more, pretending that he was just a normal man, and she was just a normal girl, and that alone was the reason they couldn't be.
His life would make no sound.
A/N: this takes place at the end of episode ten, "Shameful Metaphors" is a song by Chevelle, but I though it would be a fitting title. Basically Amon knows why he can't, and witches/seeds, can't/shouldn't, have families
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