Bella had finally come out of the bathroom. I'd hoped my plan had worked to keep her completely exhausted so she wouldn't feel like staying up and forcing her opinion on "practicing" anymore. I vowed never to make love with her again until she had become vampire. And yet now she stood there wearing that sheer piece of clothing as if there were enough material there for it to be considered a night gown. Was she trying to get herself killed? Does she like torturing? Then the obvious answer came into my head. How did I not see this coming?
Alice! I would kill Alice. I would have to go through Jasper to do it, but somehow some way I would get her back for this. How could she pack that? Why was there any need for these outfits? Couldn't Alice see that I would hurt her? Granted she had no memory of her human life so how could she have know that when a girl loses their virginity the may bleed. Bella's sent that night almost made me lose it. Thank God I bit the pillows instead of her neck.
The vision of Bella made its way into my mind. Black lace stretched across her pale skin barely covering things I'd tried so hard not to think about. I'd been avoiding her beautiful body in the tiny bikinis Alice had packed for her. But tonight, I couldn't help but look at her, all of her, look at the sheer black lace barely covering her breasts, leading down to her small hips, hugging her lovely curves…
I need to stop my thoughts right now!
I fought the urge to growl aloud. There was a burning inside me that went deeper than my thirst for her, and it fought hard against my morals minute by minute, each day we were here on this island. Especially at moments like this, moments when she was this close, when it was this quiet, when she was wearing next to nothing.
Bella was pressed against me, feeling hotter and hotter as the time of the agonizing night wore on. I could feel the nightgown, and her scorching skin pressed against me. My flesh ached where she touched me and the rest of me ached to be touched by her. I wanted to touch her. To press my lips against hers, to trace the hollow of her throat, the soft curves of her breasts…
Dimmit! And now she wanted to stay human! Now of all the moments that I actually wanted her to be a vampire so I didn't have to hold back. How ironic… And how many more of these outfits would Alice continue to buy her while she stayed human? Knowing Alice a million? Each one sexier than the last. I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn't sense her waking up until I heard her gasp loudly in the dark.
"Bella?" All the heat inside me stilled instantly. I was numb. My voice was soft yet alarmed. "Are you all right sweetheart?"
She was quiet and I was scared. She was sleeping too much and too soundly lately and having mysterious nightmares. Could she be sick? She was so fragile, so human. Holding on to her was like trying to trap a mist. I had to be so careful.
But instead, here I was the animal trying not to devour her in one way or another.
"Oh," she gasped. I could suddenly feel hot streams of tears trickling across my bare chest.
"Bella!" I was yelling. "What's wrong?" I whipped at her wet cheeks hoping to stop the crying. Each tear was like a blade stabbing into my chest.
"It was only a dream." I relaxed. Another bad dream. So she wasn't hurt?
"It's okay, love, you're fine. I'm here." I rocked her hoping to calm her down. I couldn't stand to think of her in pain. To know she was hurting, to feel her crying was like ripping off one of my own limbs. "Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real, it wasn't real." I continued to tell her.
"Not a nightmare?" She said.
I stopped rocking. Then what has made her so upset?
"It was a gooddream." Her voice broke. She was obviously upset. What I wouldn't give to read her thoughts in this moment.
A good dream? Now I was really lost. Why would she be crying if the dream was good?
I fought the urge to check her temperature with the back of my hand. Maybe she was sick. "Then why are you crying?" I quickly asked her.
"Because I woke up," she wailed, wrapping her arms around my neck tightly and sobbing into my throat. The sound of her uneven tear-filled breaths echoed inside me like they were my own. I would cry with her, cry in her place, if only I could. Yet part of me couldn't help but laugh a little at her logic.
"Everything's all right, Bella. Take deep breaths."
"It was so real," she cried. "I wanted it to be real."
I tried again to ignore the feeling of lace providing absolutely no kind of useful barrier between us. Heat continued to form off of her in all directions. Her fragrant hair brushed against my face. My hands wanted so badly to be tangled in her hair.
Concentrate Edward!
"Tell me about it. Maybe that will help." Help me figure this out at least. Help me concentrate on something other than your skin, your scent, the way you would look in the moonlight if I ripped this thing off of you …
"We were on the beach …" She stopped suddenly pulling back to gaze up at me. A tight knot yanked itself tightly closed in my stomach at the sight of her overflowing, brown eyes. I felt her breath on my face, felt the pressure of her body against me. My head was swimming with possibilities and dangerous thoughts.
"And?" Give me something else to work with here. Anything.
"Oh Edward …" More tears poured from her long dark lashes. I could see fresh tracks down her cheeks, smell the salt mingled with her own heady, sweet scent. She had more freckles from extended time in the sun and her skin had taken on a slightly more golden hue. It all added to her sweetness, making me raw all over.
"Tell me Bella!"
I was two steps away from complete panic. My mind raced. Was I going to have to get us to the hospital?
Then her lips crushed themselves against mine and I kissed her back without thinking. I just followed my feelings. My longing raced back to the surface burying the worry almost completely.
Oh God.
I pushed back gently holding her shoulders."No, Bella." The words hissed out of me. But every bone, muscle and among other things was saying yes. This was crazy she was upset but not upset. My thoughts were uneven. After all this time I could usually rely on my instincts to guess what Bella was thinking, but now I was lost and so wanting to be more lost, tangled up with only this wasn't so hard for us. If only I could give in. I stared up at her. Did she know how sorry I was? Did she know how hard this was for me too?
"I'm s-s-s-orry," she mumbled. I had lost the battle. Somewhere my heart snapped in two. I pulled her to my chest needing to fix this somehow. It will be OK. This will pass. This will pass.
"I can't, Bella, I can't!" It was more of a moan than statement. She must be able to hear how difficult it was for me to hold back. It was taking everything I had, more than I thought I had.Just keep her safe I said to myself. That's all that matters is her safety. My needs come second."Please," her words yelled at me. Her lips pushed against my chest. "Please, Edward?"
At that last sound of my name all my morals went out the door... She was mine and I was hers. I couldn't deny her. I couldn't help but try to be what she needed.I pulled her mouth to mine and her body came too. She slid across me, her hands on either side of my face and her legs sliding to either side of mine. I twisted my fingers into her hair kissing her roughly, breathing her in like she was pure oxygen, like I needed her to live. The sweetness burned my throat and lungs but all I wanted to do was breathe it in again and let it burn me. My hands traveled across her back, ripping the lace as I went all the way down discovering her warmth...
Bella's mouth roamed my face and neck leaving hot kisses that made me ache deep within the pit of my stomach and burn even deeper below. I felt her heart pounding against me, her breathing got heavier and heavier. She moaned against my mouth as she kissed me again and again.
My hands ripped the rest of her garment from her and I tossed it onto the floor. It was now in pieces at the end of the bed. Bella didn't seem to notice any of this. She was completely consumed with kissing and licking my neck, my ear\. I touched her everywhere, exploring her shape with my fingers, enjoying the feel of her smooth curves as she kissed me. Chills ran through me as she pressed her perfect body to mine.
All that lay between us now were my shorts. I had made an effort not to go to bed with Bella naked. I could argue being shirtless. It was necessary because I was acting as her cool air on the hot days. Now this little bit of fabric kept us apart. But at this point I was ready to eliminate that barrier. Bella's hands were at my waist trying so hard to get my pants off. I was too stunned to help, caught up in the thrill of having someone else in control of the moment. My Bella. She got them off of me while kissing down my chest. As she reached my stomach my insides twisted and like I had butterflies in my stomach. I'm not used to being the one so out of control, so I pulled her to me by her shoulders. I was kissing her mouth harder than I'd meant to. I could still taste tears on her lips and her face. I hope she doesn't bruise this time.
She pushed against me again and this time there was nothing between us. We were now one. The sensation was much more than I remembered from last time, maybe it was because this was so unexpected. It was so warm and wet.
I opened my eyes to see her face above me. Her hair stuck to her sweaty cheeks. Her eyes were bright. She was beautiful in this light. She was the most beautiful I had ever seen her.. I felt so much love for her and never let her go. What had I done to deserve her?
Her eyes closed, she arched her back and bit her bottom lip. Our bodies were both wet. More Bella's than mine. My skin was warmer in places that she touched me than I had ever thought possible. The heat was delightful. Thrilling.
Her hips moved against me faster and faster and she began to drive me into her deeper than I thought possible. I amazingly resisted the urge to thrust against her for fear of hurting her. So I put all my feelings into the head board. Great, now I'd owe Esme a new bed frame. Bella was getting more carried away. I had to regain some of the control if we were going to get through this without hurting her. Gently but firmly I placed a hand on her hips to still her. She stopped and looked down at me confused, hurt maybe. I pulled her lips to mine in attempt to show her that she had done nothing wrong.I kissed her deeply and she fell against me. I could feel her breathing heavily, her heart fluttering as I gently switched our positions.
I put her onto the pillow, put my lips on her cheeks and neck, and then ran my fingers through her hair. Her hands moved across my back. Her thighs tightened around my hips. She wrapped her legs around my waist. The position allowed me more control. Maybe this could work if I was really careful. At least I hoped it could.
Both of her hands pressed on my back to pull me forward as her hips pushed against mine. I heard her moan softly. I pushed against her keeping the pace steady allowing her to feel everything she needed to without hurting her or pain. Pain was the one thing she didn't seem to be feeling at all. .
I held back as much as I could but continued to move against Bella, her hips echoed my own. I allowed myself to press against her harder, deeper. I felt her breathing faster. She said my name as she clawed into my back, never coming close to breaking the skin. She held on to my shoulders, her thighs squeezing against my hips.
I was going faster now giving us both more to feel. I pushed into her harder and felt her quiver against me. She cried out my name once more and her head fell onto the pillow. I felt muscle inside of her. She squeezed me inside so tight. She bit into my shoulder. I heard myself cry out then, gasping in air as if I needed it. A wave of intense pleasure came over me. I reached my climax as I came inside of her which felt better than the first. I fell a little on my arm, feeling dizzy, my breaths coming in gasps, and my hearing coming and going. I was still inside her and she was still wrapped around me. I wasn't ready to let her go just yet. I didn't know if I ever would be. Bella fell onto the bed relaxing her grip on me in every sense. Her breathing was uneven but her face was glowing as I kissed her.
I moved the hair off her face. She smiled when my hand touched her face. That was the moment I decided to let her go so she could rest. She was right all along. Practice does make perfect. I pulled her to me. She had me at that moment feeling like a complete human. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love Bella. "I love you," I said in the dark. She laid there wordless but tightened her arms around me.
I laid there the rest of the night thinking of what had just happened. This would be one of the best nights in my book. Even if she did use her emotions to get the best of me. Al that mattered now was that she was happy and I had made her happy.