Disclaimer: I do not own harry potter. Only my muse.
Enjoy! R&R PEOPLES!!!
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"FRED!"
"What…?"
"FRED!"
"What?"
"FRED!"
"What!?"
"FRED!"
"What!?!"
"FRED!!!"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT!"
"Guess!"
"NO!"
George pounce on his brother. "Wake U-up!"
Fred rolled over and sighed.
"Wakey wakey, chicken bakey!"
"Leave me alone, you menace."
"Nevah!"
"Please…just five more minutes."
"Freddy-kins," George cooed in his ear, "Time to get up!"
"Murghp."
"Well, you're just a little ray of sunshine this morning, aren't you?"
"Shut Up. And leave me alone."
"No."
"Please?"
"Go away."
"Uh uh."
"Geez."
George started singing, "Don't you want me baby….!? Don't you want me, Oh-o-o-oh! Don't…Don't you want me? You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me! Don't you want me baby…!?..."
Fred got up, knocking his twin off the bed and ferociously bludgeoning him around the head with a pillow.
"Take that! (Smack) And that! (Wham) And how about some of this! (Crash)"
"No thanks, but I'll take some of this." George reached up and cupped Fred's morning erection.
Fred gasped.
"Merlin!"
Suddenly, a weight jumped on Fred's back and pinned him to the floor. He flipped around to face the mysterious weight.
It was a monkey.
Fred blanched.
"What…?"
"I already have him trained!" George chirped happily. "Watch!"
"Wiggle!" He bellowed.
Upon hearing the world, the monkey stood up next to Fred and began belly dancing like a gypsy.
Fred blanched again.
"Um…"
"Isn't he absolutely adorable?" George grinned.
"Sure. Really cute. Can I go back to sleep now?" H wanted to escape from the weirdness. Badly. Which is ironic, because he is surrounded by the weirdest things every day. You don't own a joke shop without knowing how to be weird. Honestly.
"No."
"…"
"You have to see the other thing I've trained him to do so far." George pouted.
"Then can I go to sleep?"
"…"
"…"
"Please?"
"Maybe. We'll see."
"Okay, ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
"Here we go. THE HILLS ARE EATING PEOPLE!!!" George bellowed.
The monkey knocked Fred down and began to hump him earnestly.
"Wow…." Fred was speechless. George had ruined his day.
First he woke him up from a very pleasurable dream.
Then, he yelled at him until he got out of the bed.
And after that his new pet started attempting to have sex with him.
What a way to start the day.
Really.
"George!" He whined. "Make it stop humping me!"
"Can I hump you instead?"
"Sure. Just get this bloody thing off me. Now."
"Okie-dokie."
The monkey was thrown out the window and landed on a conveniently placed Death Eater.
He proceeded to give the poor innocent (or maybe not so innocent…) Death Eater the to oddest experience in his relatively short lifetime.
Poor Draco….
Not.
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No, I will not be making a sequel unless my muse hits again. Check out my other stories for more Crackiness……ness..…nesss…..nesss…..
REVIEW PEOPLES!!!