WARNING: this is rated K for now, but its rating will definitely be changing to M once I get into it. I stole the title from my best friend's brilliant head so I don't need to disclaim that buuuut I should probably mention that Kurt, Blaine or any other Glee characters I mention aren't mine at all. There will be OC's in this, though, and I can take credit for them :3 enjoy!


From the outside, the academy looked huge and frightening. It was the kind of place you'd see in a horror movie, with lightning flashing behind and a sign on the gate that read "keep out" on one side but "come inside" as soon as you blinked.

The windows, from there, looked dark and almost abandoned. The gate looked heavy and the yard was empty. It wasn't even an overcast day—the early spring sun was shining down on the black-tiled roof without a cloud in the sky and yet the school still looked like a jail.

Blaine's dad made it seem like it, too. "Come on, son," he said gruffly, unlocking all of the car doors from the central box. Blaine never knew why he kept them all locked, to be honest. Maybe it was because he thought Blaine would open the door and jump out while the car was still moving. Quite right, too.

"This place looks deserted," Blaine said, careful not to step in a muddy leftover pile of snow that was nestled in the curb. He held back a wince as he heard his expensive suitcase fall to the ground with a thud and he just knew his dad had rolled them out of the trunk without trying to touch them at all. Blaine took a deep breath and closed the door behind him before opening it again to retrieve his iPod headphones that were hanging out the side.

"Hurry up," his dad snapped. Blaine cleared his throat and picked his bags up off the damp ground, slinging his duffel over his shoulder and trying not to strain as he lifted his suitcase over the curb.

"Thanks for the help, dad," he muttered lowly. He avoided the glare he got in return.

Together they walked up to the huge iron gate, and Blaine wondered how in the world it would open. That was until he saw the tiny silver button attached to the brick wall, and he realized his dad was waiting for him to press it. Blaine just stared at it like it would electrocute him if he went near it.

With a frustrated groan, his dad harshly stabbed his finger at the button. A tiny buzz could be heard from the speaker and then an almighty clang as the bolt on the gate shifted. They began to slowly swing open inwards, and Blaine waited until they were securely attached to the magnets on the ground inside before he cautiously stepped over the invisible boundary that separated him from outside and here.

"Get on with it, then," his dad said. He unhooked the handle from his suitcase and pulled it out so he could drag it over the gravel path towards the small-in-comparison administrator's office. He hoped the irritating noise would get on his father's nerves.

The look of the woman behind the service desk made Blaine want to drop everything he was holding and run, go and dig a hole in the ground and live in it forever. She was old, chubby and her eyes stared straight through you; she meticulously stapled papers together like she'd been doing it since her early twenties. It wouldn't surprise Blaine at all if she had.

His dad pushed the door open, but let it swing close behind him. It closed on Blaine's foot, and he opened his mouth to cuss before he remembered he couldn't do that here. So instead, he kicked it open with his foot and made a show of struggling through. His dad was already at the counter.

"We enrolled Blaine Anderson here at the beginning of January," he heard him say. "We were told he'd start when spring did."

The computer keys were old and sticking to their base—Blaine could tell as the woman punched in his last name. She made a gross noise in the back of her throat and then the printed whirred to life. For a school this fancy, they could at least give her a decent workspace, Blaine thought. He could tell his father was thinking it, too.

They all waited in silence as the old machine slowly printed the screen onto the paper. "Here's a map and your schedule," the woman drawled, pushing the warm papers into Blaine's hands. "My name's Judy and you can come see me if you ever need anything. Your dad can see you to your room but visiting times are no more than fifteen minutes—"

"Oh, no, I have an appointment at 11," his dad said, looking at his watch. Blaine rolled his eyes. It was only nine; he had plenty of time to get to his appointment and they both knew it. Judy glanced at both their faces and made a huff-laugh noise.

"Alright," she said. "Ella! Come and show Blaine to his dorm."

A voice squeaked "Coming!" from the storeroom behind the service desk, and there was a loud crash from in the room. Blaine sighed and looked at his dad.

"See you next autumn, then," he said. His dad's eyes were emotionless as he held his hand out. Blaine stared at it for a second before slowly shaking it and then watching as his dad nodded at Judy and left. Blaine didn't move while he watched the black car with the tinted windows roll away from the school and then speed off the other way. He didn't do anything until someone delicately cleared their throat next to him. He jumped and looked at the source of the noise.

A girl about his age stood next to him, with long blonde hair and too-white skin. On her nose sat huge brown glasses, and she wore an old pink dress over a white blouse. Blaine shuddered internally and forced a smile.

"I'm Ella," she said timidly. Blaine waved with two fingers.

"Blaine," he replied. "So, are you gonna show me where I'm staying?"

He ignored the girl's hurt look and followed her out the door without acknowledging Judy. The gravel crunched under his runners.

"Can I carry a bag for you?" Ella asked, looking at Blaine expectantly. He just shook his head and tried not to look too intimidated by the huge eight-storey building looming over him. Ella wasn't fazed.

They walked into what seemed like a huge foyer. Everything was so fancy—loveseats were arranged in small circles here and there, set with coffee tables and flowers and magazines. Against the back wall there was glass case with plaques that read names of all the school's previous achievers and a cork billboard with all sorts of paper pinned to it. Blaine didn't bother to read any of it.

"Welcome to St Arthur's Academy for Younger Boys," Ella said, abruptly turning and walking through an archway that led to a staircase. She stopped at the bottom and turned around, pointing across the foyer to an identical arch and staircase opposite the one they were on. She addressed Blaine like she was talking to a whole class. "That is the girl's dormitory. Under no circumstances are boys allowed to enter them without a headmaster's permission. And don't try to sneak—" Blaine followed her hand to where it pointed to a small black box on the side of the door, "—because Judy will always be watching."

Blaine vaguely remembered a TV screen in the corner of the office.

He followed Ella up the staircase, again refusing her offer for help with his suitcase. "This, of course, is the boy's staircase," she said. "Notice that the carpet is blue, not red, in case you ever get confused."

Blaine looked back and saw the deep velvet red of the girl's staircase ascending into black as it went up and out of sight. He looked then at the carpet under his feet and saw deep blue instead. He raised an eyebrow.

The stairs ended and a long corridor appeared on either side of them. Doors lined the opposite wall, each with a number and a keycard slot fastened to them. The corridor went on for as long as several doors each way and then cornered, one way right and one left. Blaine noticed the high tables and flowers in vases nestled in the corners. The tall windows left a seemingly-permanent bright mark on the floor.

Blaine was quickly beginning to hate the colour scheme of this place. The bottom half of the wall was deep blue, more so than the carpet. Then about halfway up there was a cream-white wooden runner, and upwards from that was a sickening grey-blue that looked like it had been painted by a three-year-old. Blaine couldn't stop his nose from slightly screwing up.

"It's big, I know," Ella said, reminding Blaine she was next to him. "You'll get used to it."

"Where do I sleep?" Blaine asked, brushing off her previous comment. Ella nodded as if she'd just remembered her task and turned right, leading Blaine down the long, echoic corridor. They turned the corner.

"Your dormitory is the first one, here," she said, motioning to the first door on the left. Blaine noticed that all of the doors had arched windows opposite them, and he briefly saw the large oval outside before he was distracted by a shrill beeping sound. He saw that Ella had taken a card on a lanyard out from under her shirt. It must've been able to open every door in the place, because she was holding it half-open for Blaine with an impatient smile on her face. Blaine pushed it the rest of the way open with his foot and walked in, half-heartedly holding the door for Ella because he was sure she'd find it necessary to give him a tour of his dorm, too.

The layout was simple—down the wall next to the door was two beds separated only by a skinny end table that held an alarm clock and a posh-looking lamp. Opposite the door was another bed with an identical table and a similar setup to the other, except this one had a picture of a pretty middle-aged woman in a simple silver frame resting against the lamp. Next to that table was a kitchen-like setup, with a sink and a blender and a toaster plugged into a socket on the wall. A mini-fridge had been put into the underneath of one of the cupboards. The floor surrounding the space was linoleum, Blaine noticed.

On the other side of the door was a chest of drawers. The top of this was decorated with a lace runner, more pictures in frames and two cell phones on charge.

"Who else rooms here?" Blaine asked. He'd completely ruled out that he'd be sleeping in the same room as two other people. The thought made him uneasy.

"Eric and Kurt," Ella said. "They're really nice. I'm sure you'll all get along fine."

Blaine nodded. Ella's eyes were trained on his face. He pretended he didn't notice.

"This is your bed," she said, putting her hand on the impeccably-made bed she was standing next to. "The one next to it is Kurt's and Eric sleeps over there. The bathroom is here," she said, pointing to a door he hadn't noticed that was a few steps away from the end of his bed, "And you can use anything in the kitchen that you like."

"Where is everyone?" Blaine frowned. Ella looked at her watch.

"Class," she said. "You're excused from todays, though. You start tomorrow. I'm sure Eric or Kurt will show you to your classes. Your uniform is in this drawer, where you can also unload your things if you want. If not, just put your suitcase under your bed and use it when you need to. There's a spare shelf for you in the bathroom and I'm sure Kurt won't mind if you put a photo or two on your table there."

Blaine nodded again, although he knew he wouldn't be putting photos up anywhere.

"Oh! I almost forgot," Ella said, startling Blaine. She fished around in her pocket for something, and then pulled out a small white card. She handed it to Blaine. "This is your key. You can buy a lanyard from my mom in the office back down there."

Judy was Ella's mom? He never would've guessed.

"Thanks," he said. "I think I'll be okay now."

Ella smiled. "Okay," she said. "My mom and I stay in the hut on the other side of campus. If you need me, come find me. If I'm not there I'll be in the office."

How sad, Blaine thought. But he smiled and waved a little as Ella left. The door automatically shut behind her. The room suddenly felt very big now that Blaine was alone.


A/N: this was a completely whimsical idea that my best friend gave me simply by stating the title in an intense conversation we were having tonight—the conversation was completely unrelated, however, the idea for this fic was planted in my head and I liked it so I had to write it down.

I know this chapter was boring, but (hopefully) it'll get better. I'm not 100% sure where I want to take this, but I'm sure I'll find my feet. It definitely will be a Klaine fanfic, though. I hope you guys will stick around to find out with me :)

I need feedback, though! Tell me what you think would be cool and I'll see what I can do. I haven't written for a long time, so I really hope this gets me back in the groove.

As for now, I need to sleep because I keep writing the same word over and over again and I just read the same line three times. I'll update soon!