The Cowboy and the Southern Belle
Prologue
April 9, 1865
A lone horse galloped across the flat, barren plains at a dizzying speed, leaving a trail of dust in its wake. Aware of the tension in its master's body, the horse sensed his urgency and as he leaned forward in the saddle, it plummeted onward, muscles flexing along the strong legs. Two hearts pounding wildly, mane and hair flying in the wind as the sweat of man and beast flowed freely down their bodies. When the familiar ranch came into sight, tears stung the rider's eyes and the horse made a last effort and sprinted towards home. The rider leaped from the saddle before the animal had even come to a stop and he ran on unsteady legs to the front door of the house, throwing it open.
"Pa! Hoss! It's over!"
Charging into the sitting room, he skidded along the floorboards before he dug the heels of his boots down, reaching out his hands to steady himself on the back of the settee.
"It's finally over!"
Ben Cartwright dropped his book and slowly rose from his chair, staring in shock at his youngest son whose cheeks were streaked with tears and dirt. Seeing the truth in the young man's pooling eyes, Ben's mouth fell open.
"Oh, thank God!" he choked out and stumbled forwards. He suddenly felt a strong arm support him and his middle son's strength was the only thing holding him up as he stood there, embraced between his two boys.
"He'll come home now, Pa. He can finally come home."
Chapter 1
July 8, 1865
Adam Cartwright sat with his back against an oak tree, looking out across the sparkling lake. The sun hung low in the pink sky and in the distance, clouds of almost purple cloaked the tops of the mountains like a layer of cotton wool. He let his head fall back and sighed. It was hauntingly beautiful. Funny how, with all the travelling he'd done throughout his life, nothing stirred him like this place did. Here, he could almost pretend that he was whole again. And at the same time—this was the one place where he didn't have to pretend anything.
It was the second evening in the short time he'd been home that he was visiting Marie's grave. Since he was a youngster, he'd been coming here to reminisce and his father and brothers sometimes did too. The very ground was memory-soaked at this place. A slow smile formed across his mouth as he recalled the day he'd ridden out here to share his acceptance letter from West Point with his stepmother. It had been a dream come true when he'd been accepted into one of the country's finest schools in engineering and science. Marie would have been thrilled for him had she lived, no doubt, but his father had been in two minds at the time. After all, West Point was one long way from Nevada and four years was a long time. But the military academy offered up the best all-around education a young man could get and Adam had argued that point again and again. He'd also assured his Pa that he had no intention of pursuing a military career but that he planned to return home with the knowledge and abilities to bring progress to the Ponderosa.
Adam shifted as he sat against the tree, the smile fading from his face. Thinking back on it now, he could never have imagined how the military side of his education would define him and impact his life years later.
When the war had broken out in '61, he'd known that he would have to go. No matter how his family felt about it. There had been a lot of arguing because his father had stubbornly tried to reason that the conflict didn't concern them all the way out in the West, while Adam had maintained that they were still a part of the country and that being a West Point graduate, it certainly did concern him. He still remembered his father's accusing tone so clearly.
"I thought that you attended West Point to study engineering and architecture—not to become a soldier?!"
Adam had recognized the underlying fear that fueled the words and his response had been soft and gentle.
"Pa, it's just something that I have to do."
And with that simple sentence, the matter was settled. Although his family had embraced him with feeling before he'd ridden off, he'd wondered countless times since then if they deep down resented him for it.
As it turned out, it was much easier to join the army than it was to eventually leave it four years later. When he'd left the Ponderosa to go to war, he never would have thought that he'd waver in making the decision to return home after it was all over. If he were honest with himself—after the first year of fighting—he hadn't expected to be making any such decision either way. Nevertheless, when it did end, he was not only still alive, but he was a Union captain in command of a fine company of men and highly respected by his superior officers. And several of his commanders and colleagues had tried to persuade him into furthering his military career.
Yes, he'd hesitated before resigning his commission. But his heart was at the Ponderosa and he'd known it all along.
He'd returned home on July 3, two years to the day that had marked the end of the battle of Gettysburg. A day that held so many painful memories for him that he'd considered camping out another night instead of going to the ranch, unsure if he was in a state to be reunited with his family. But as his hold on the reins had slackened, Sport had recognized the way and calmly walked onward, and Adam had allowed the horse to take them both home.
That was five days ago and even now, Adam could visualize the scene of his return as if it had happened just this afternoon.
He rode quietly into the yard, physically and emotionally exhausted as he took in the sight of his home. The home he'd designed and helped build. He imagined his family sitting inside; his Pa in the big red chair, his brothers on the settee, struggling to best each other in a game of checkers. It seemed like something he'd only ever seen in a dream. After dismounting, he began loosening the straps securing his saddlebags when the nagging worry that had plagued him for weeks, overcame him.
How would they feel about seeing him? Would he be welcome?
He leaned his arms on the saddle, dropping his head and he vaguely thought how absurd it was that after being at war for years, it was the fear of rejection now that almost brought him to his knees. Then he heard footsteps coming from the barn behind him, and he knew instantly who it was.
"Adam. . .?"
The effort it took for him to step away from Sport, was humongous. But he did it, and he slowly turned around to see his youngest brother approaching him with cautious steps, carrying a horse brush in his hand. Joe stopped dead in his tracks and the brush slipped onto the ground with a thud. Adam watched him anxiously, not knowing what to say, and although Joe was now a young man of twenty, Adam could only see the little boy he'd come home to after graduating from West Point once upon a time. Then, when he saw his baby brother's chin begin to quiver, he just held out his arms. Suddenly, Joe sprinted forwards and flung himself into him, nearly knocking Adam off his feet. He would never forget the feeling of that soft chestnut hair tickling his chin and cheek as the kid clung to him, the slim arms wrapped tightly around his neck.
After a moment Joe tried to call out something, but his voice broke and he shuddered in Adam's hold before he tried again.
"Pa, Hoss! He's here!
The sound of the front door opening reached them seconds later, and Adam gently loosened his grip on Joe. It wasn't long before he was lifted off the ground in a bear hug by Hoss who let out an ecstatic laugh, his eyes countless shades of blue swirling around in a whirlpool of emotions.
When Adam was finally set back down, dizzy and overwhelmed, he caught sight of his father standing a couple of feet away. Such a short distance, yet it seemed like miles away as he closed it. He stopped in front of the older man and looked into the face he'd pictured so often on the battlefield when he'd needed the strength to carry on. The face he'd known his whole life. That face was wet with tears and Adam tried valiantly to swallow the lump in his throat.
"Pa . . ."
His father opened his arms to him like he'd done himself minutes before with Joe and Adam readily stepped into the embrace, feeling the strongest, most loving arms in the world wrap around him.
"Welcome home, son. Oh, welcome home."
The sun had almost disappeared completely when Adam broke free of his wandering thoughts. His legs were numb from sitting in the same position for so long and he carefully massaged his left thigh where he knew, under the black fabric was a small scar, a souvenir from Fredericksburg. He got up and stiffly walked over to where Sport stood waiting. The horse's white muzzle sought his hand and he stroked it affectionately.
"I think we're ready to go home, boy. What do you say?"
Sport tossed his head as if in agreement and Adam mounted up and rode on home.
The sound of a horse snorting outside made Hoss and Joe freeze where they stood by the front door. They both turned back to their father who lowered himself down into his red chair, closing his eyes in relief. When Ben looked up again, his two sons were still standing by the door and he waved hastily at them. The two brothers became a blur of movement as they fumbled with their gun belts and shrugged out of their jackets. After slamming their hats back onto the hooks on the wall, they hurried across the room. Joe reached wildly for the checkerboard on the table and Hoss dropped down on the settee, leaning back with his arms stretched out along the backrest as he tried to look the picture of relaxation. Ben fought against a growing smile when Joe began studying the checkerboard in deep concentration like he had been sat that way for the last hour.
A few seconds later, the door creaked open and Adam came into the house.
"Sorry I'm late Pa, I just wanted to let you know that I'm home now in case you were getting ready to send out a search party." He unstrapped his gun belt and laid it on the dresser by the door.
Ben regarded him with a warm smile. "That's all right, son. Actually, we hadn't really noticed how late it was."
Adam glanced over at his family, studied them for a moment and then wordlessly turned away.
"All right then."
They could practically hear the raised eyebrow in his voice. When he moved back towards the front door, Joe sprang up, nearly knocking over the checkerboard.
"Where are you going Adam?"
"I'm just gonna brush Sport down and put him up for the night."
"I'll take care of it Adam," Hoss said and stood from the settee. "You just come in and put them feet up."
"Hoss, you don't have to do that I—"
"Shucks, I want to. Me an' old Sport need to get proper reacquainted anyway."
Hoss moved past Adam and had one hand on the door latch when he suddenly swung back around.
"Just make sure that HE"—he pointed a thick finger at Joe—"don't go tampering with them checker pieces."
With that, the big man disappeared out the door and Adam did a little fond head shake as he went over to sit down in his favorite blue chair. Feeling two sets of eyes on him, he turned to look questioningly at his little brother and father. Ben coughed and closed the open book lying in his lap.
"There is a plate of supper for you in the kitchen. It shouldn't take long to heat up."
"Thanks Pa," Adam said and stretched out his long legs onto the floor, "but I'm not really hungry."
Frowning, Ben considered his firstborn.
"Adam," he said gently, "I know it's going to take some time for you to get used to regular meals again, but you really should try to eat something. You heard Paul, you could do with gaining back some weight. You haven't had a lot today."
Adam closed his eyes and leaned his head back. "I wish you hadn't made Paul come all the way out here. I'm fine Pa, just a little worn out and tired from the long journey. A month of traveling, most of it spent in the confined space of a train booth"—he paused to let out a sigh—"I'd wager that by the end, I was even more sick of it than Sport was."
"Come now, you know that Paul would have been one of the first people to come out to see you, regardless. I'm pretty sure that a little food in your stomach now will help you sleep later too." Ben waved his book at his son in warning. "Besides, Hop Sing made another of your favorites, you wouldn't want to face him tomorrow morning after he finds your untouched supper, would you?"
A slow smile tugged at Adam's lips, but his eyes remained closed.
"What'd he make?"
Joe, who had been silently following the conversation, recognized his brother's surrender and spoke up.
"He made that beef stew with the cornbread you like Adam, it was really good. You know, as a matter of fact, I could do with a little bowl myself." Joe winked over at their father. "I'll just go and heat some up for us!"
Adam opened his eyes just as his young sibling bounded for the kitchen, then he looked over at the red chair where his father was now pretending to read his book.
"All right, how long is this gonna go on for, hmm?"
Ben peeled his eyes from the page with great effort and looked up, wearing a carefully prepared mask of innocence. The subtle half smile that adorned his handsome son's face, indicated that there was no serious trouble, so Ben relaxed a little. He closed his book and shuffled in the chair.
"Adam, I realize that you feel we are being perhaps a little overprotective."
"A little?!" Adam's eyes widened incredulously. "Yesterday, when those brothers of mine and I came home from our ride, I dismounted and twisted the wrong way. It was just a twitch that caught an old scar and Hoss demanded he carry me inside the house!"
Ben looked alarmed. "Why didn't anyone tell me—when was this?!"
"Pa!"
Carefully, Ben fingered the spine of the book as he put it on the table.
"As I said, I understand how you feel. But we spent four years not knowing where you were, not knowing if you were hurt or . . . or—" He broke off with a gulp. When he faced his son again, Adam's countenance was already softening, and Ben continued.
"I can't imagine the hell you went through during that time. But we went through our own little hell right here on the Ponderosa too. We missed you terribly."
"I wrote you letters Pa," Adam said quietly. "It was almost impossible getting messages across the country. I didn't know if any of them would reach you."
Ben smiled a little then. "Oh yes, we did get a few of your letters, we sat right here and read them together. Joe still has them in his room. Although I suspected that you were putting on a brave front as you wrote them."
Avoiding his father's gaze, Adam spoke in a low voice. "It wouldn't have done you any good to know how bad things were."
"No, maybe you're right." Ben nodded in sad acceptance. "But you are home now, and none of us expect you to just be the older brother or the son you were before. We know that things have happened, awful things. But I want you to understand that we are here, ready to hear about it. However awful it may be."
Adam shook his head, his expression pained but Ben rose from his chair and went over to perch on the edge of the table by his boy.
"Those years are part of you, Adam. And every little piece of information you've shared with us about that time, scarce as it has been, is a gift to us."
Although Adam kept his head down, Ben could tell that he was listening, considering the words.
"Now, you have always been tight-lipped about your troubles," Ben said, his eyes betraying a deep regret, "but you have to realize that your brothers are not children anymore and those protective instincts that you have harbored towards them all of their lives, must not prevent you from being honest."
His tone then turned almost brusque. "And don't you go thinking that your poor, old Pa will break from hearing what his boy went through in this horrendous war." He rubbed a hand across the deep lines embedded in his forehead. "We are trying to give you space and time alone but please son, don't shut us out."
Finally, Adam met his father's eyes and they shared a long, silent look. Then, he settled back into the blue chair and treated Ben to a show of dimples.
"All right Pa. I'll try."
The muscles in Ben's face gradually relaxed, and he put a hand on Adam's knee, giving it a squeeze. "That's all I ask."
He got up and returned to his seat, picking up the book from the table.
"Oh, and as for the mollycoddling as you would call it," he said, eyeing his eldest meaningfully, "allow me to spoil you a bit. I doubt that you have been spoiled much for the last long while."
Ben returned to his book and Adam's smile stayed in place. He continued watching his father and then broke the silence again with his deep baritone voice.
"Tell me Pa, did you really not notice how late I was?"
Ben stared down at a yellowed page and let out a mumble. "Hmpf. The boys were on their way out when we heard you ride in."
Adam tilted his head back, chuckling deeply and the sound made Ben's heart swell with joy although he never looked up from the book.
"Pass me them eggs, will ya Joe?"
Joe put down his fork and handed the plate of eggs to his big brother across the table. "You sure slept in this morning. When I walked past your room I could hear you snoring like a bear, I didn't think anything could wake you!"
"Yea well, I guess it's a good thing I have myself this healthy appetite," Hoss said, loading his plate. "My stomach dun woke me up and reminded me I needed breakfast."
With a grin, Joe sipped at a glass of orange juice as Ben came out of the kitchen with a coffee pot.
"Good morning, Hoss," he said cheerily, then glanced at the empty chair at the other end of the table. "Adam still asleep?"
"Well Pa, if'n he is, I reckon he must need it. I woke up and heard him movin' about in his room in the middle of the night. It sure don't seem like he's getting' a lot of rest." Hoss' big hands stopped beside his plate and his forehead puckered.
Holding up the coffee pot, Ben stared at the black liquid pouring into his cup. "We know it's going to take him a while to get back into the rhythm of things. I expect he's gotten used to living on very little sleep. The more he can get the better, no matter the time of day."
Just then, those familiar footsteps hit the top of the stairs to the sitting room and the family looked over and saw Adam coming down, dressed in his customary black shirt and pants.
"Morning," he said and received a chorus of "good mornings" in return. He came over to the table and sat down heavily in a chair. Without a word, Joe passed him the coffee pot which he took gratefully.
"I hope you got some decent rest," Ben said, studying Adam.
When no immediate response came, he inclined his head towards his youngest son. "Joe was thinking about taking a ride up to Silver Creek, it's the perfect day for it." Ben looked back at Adam. "It's been a long time since you've been there, perhaps you and Hoss should join him."
"Yea Adam," Joe piped up. "I spotted a herd of wild horses up there a couple of times last week. There are some real beauties, I bet we could get a look at them."
"Hey that's a right fine idea Joe, we could even get ol' Hop Sing to make some sandwiches, make it like a proper outing 'n all."
Adam observed the enthusiastic faces of his brothers, a faint smile tickling his lips. He threw a look at his father opposite him. "The Ponderosa finally started to run itself while I was gone?"
Recognizing his son's mirthful expression, Ben responded calmly, "I am sure the Ponderosa will be just fine even if you boys take a day of leisure. Anyway, should you get bored, I seem to recall some fences needing mending up in that area."
The two younger brothers' faces fell, but Adam just continued to smile.
"Well, come on then," Ben said as he handed the eggs to Joe, gesturing for him to pass them on to Adam. "The sooner you boys finish your breakfast, the sooner you can get going!"
The three Cartwright brothers spent the morning in cheerful moods enjoying each other's company. As they rode along the green hillsides, Adam fell quiet at times, taking in the scenery around him. Whenever that happened, Hoss and Joe just shared a look and left him alone, knowing that he needed a few moments to himself. They easily kept the conversation flowing and prevented Adam from drawing into himself too much.
Mostly, they talked about all the things that had been happening on the ranch and around town while he'd been away. Adam was grateful for their endless chatter for once even though he wasn't one for gossip, and truthfully, the latest news and scandals of Virginia City did tend to fly straight by him. Still, he'd missed this. Just hearing their voices. They also told him about how they'd heard of General Lee's surrender and they described the celebration that had gone on in town where church bells and guns had rung out and flags had flown in the streets. Adam listened quietly as a vacant sheen glazed his eyes, remembering how the news of Lee's surrender had reached him and his men that fateful day in April.
The reaction had been instant and overpowering; the men had yelled in elation and waved their hats, some had turned to each other, shaken hands, slapped each other's backs while a few had even fired their guns in salute. And Adam had allowed all of it. He'd let them rejoice in their own ways but being their captain, he'd kept a professional air about him. After four years of the ongoing nightmare, he had hardly been able to believe that it was over himself. His first thoughts had gone to his family as he'd wondered when they would hear the news.
It still seemed surreal that he was here now, back with them, riding alongside his brothers across the land they all loved so much. Joe especially, had changed a lot during his absence and whenever Adam looked over at his little brother sitting straight and confident in the saddle, it was with pride tempered by a pang of sadness. Four years was a long time. The kid had sure grown up.
To Adam's relief, Hoss seemed the same as always except for the fact that his tracking skills had evidently only gotten better with the years. He found the tracks of the wild horses that Joe had mentioned pretty easily.
They carefully followed the trail and spotted the group of wild beasts grazing in a meadow about half a mile down Silver Creek. Like Hoss and Joe, Adam was awed by the beautiful creatures in their natural element and it was a special moment the three of them shared together.
By the time Hoss' rumbling stomach pried the brothers' attention away from the horses, it was well past noon. Without discussing it, they rode to their favorite spot—a place where they'd often gone fishing as children. They sat down on the grassy bank overlooking the free-flowing creek, in the shade of the trees. Hoss got out the bag of food that Hop Sing had packed for them and as he laid its contents out, Adam was amazed at the sheer amount the little cook had crammed in there. Seeing Adam's expression, Hoss laughed. "Easy there, older brother, no one expects you to eat all of that by yurself!"
Although Adam did think that Hop Sing had overdone it a little with cooking all his favorites and loading him with food every chance he got, his eyes closed involuntarily as he bit into a smoked ham and mustard sandwich.
"Mmm. . . Hop Sing sure knows how to make a ham sandwich."
"He sure does," Joe said, "I guess it's pretty different to what you've been used to eating in the army . . ."
Adam had just taken another bite but hearing a strange tone in his little brother's voice, he stopped chewing and turned to him. Joe sat cross-legged and tentatively looked up through his brown lashes. Forcing the mouthful down, Adam lowered the sandwich to his lap.
"Different, yea. It wasn't exciting, to say the least. Plain and monotonous. It had to be that way though, because of the long distances that rations had to be transported. Mostly we got food that could be preserved well, like raw, salted meat and canned goods. And hardtack." He paused, pursing his lips. "Of course, the officers were offered slightly better choices, but I wasn't prone to eating better food than my men."
He raised his sandwich again, aware that his brothers were staring at him, their own food forgotten.
"That don't sound very appetizing at all, Adam." Hoss stuck a hand up underneath his hat to scratch his head. "Who did the cookin'?"
Adam halted, his sandwich halfway in his open mouth. With a little smile, he lowered it again.
"Actually Hoss, no one in particular did it, at least not in the beginning. It wasn't like out here where we have chuckwagons and specialized cooks. We had to do it all ourselves mostly, but it wasn't the easiest ingredients to cook with and we certainly had a couple of disasters." He grimaced, remembering all too clearly some of the foul foods he'd been forced to eat. "A lot of the boys hadn't really cooked before, so they didn't know how to best prepare the food, but they did get better. Everyone took turns at it, myself included. Well, that is until I made a dreadful stew which resulted in the men relieving me permanently of cook duty."
As expected, Joe and Hoss took one look at each other, then burst out laughing. Adam's cooking skills had always been a source of great suffering and at times even greater amusement in the family. He graciously overlooked their laughter and continued on, his face lighting up as a particular event from the past came back to him.
"There was one time in the winter, a couple of years into the war. We had been camped for a month waiting for orders and everyone was filthy and constantly cold. The morale was very low. I took a couple of scouts with me and we went out into the woods, found some deer tracks. We walked out of that forest an hour later pulling two massive deer, the biggest I've ever come across." Adam's whole countenance was alive with the memory and his voice took on a wistful tone. "The looks on their faces when we came into camp. . . those soldiers looked like children at Christmas time."
Slowly, his eyes cleared. He turned to his transfixed brothers, gesturing with his sandwich in the air. "Anyway, I was forgiven for my awful stew, but I was strictly forbidden from going anywhere near the area where our supper of venison was being prepared."
Hoss and Joe watched him continue to eat his sandwich.
"So . . . you were a captain, huh?" Joe looked at him with obvious pride.
"Mmmh"
"I bet you were a good one too."
Adam sighed and his gaze drifted to the little waves of the creek.
"I don't know if I was, Joe."
Then he brought a hand up to tousle Joe's wild locks. "But I do know that it was a whole lot easier getting a hundred men to listen to me than it ever was getting the two of you to do as you were told!"
Hoss and Joe laughed again, and Adam let the sound wash over him. Yes, he'd missed this, just hearing their voices. His own chuckle mingled with theirs as he looked out across the glittering water, relishing the feeling of being reunited with his brothers.
Author's Notes
So, if you're reading this, you probably got through the first chapter and that makes me happy! This is my first Bonanza story and I am new here, so any thoughts/reviews from you guys would be most welcome and appreciated. This story is slightly AU since I have chosen to incorporate the Civil War and played around with the Bonanza timeline a little bit (as I believe they occasionally did on the show too). Oh, and I sent Adam to West Point.
Although this is a bit different to other Bonanza fics, I have tried hard to stay true to the characters and their relationships with one another because they are the reason I love the show so much. Hopefully I have succeeded, at least to some degree, and I hope some of you will get a bit of enjoyment out of exploring this slightly different take on a Bonanza story where the Cartwrights deal with the war on a very personal level. I have several chapters written already.
I do not own any of the recognizable Bonanza characters. Any original characters you don't recognize and the basic plot is mine though. I make no money from writing this story, but do it purely for my own entertainment.