A/N: New story! This will be a multi-chapter fic. Please read & review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That honor belongs to Joss Whedon, and probably some other people who aren't me.
Summary: Takes place after The Harvest. Jesse has become a ghost after being staked by Xander, and this is his perspective on what happens next.
Rated: T for violence and angst.
After the Harvest: Jesse's Story
Chapter 1: Dying
Jesse stared down in disbelief at the stake sticking out of his chest. He couldn't believe it. Xander had staked him. His best friend for as long as either of them could remember had killed him.
He felt suddenly that he was watching the scene from very far away, and cried out as he came rushing back, his soul returning from the ether in the moment of death. But it was far too late for his returning soul to do him any good. He could feel his body disintegrating, his molecules breaking down as the demon within him died.
He screamed once, in rage, that he was returning only to die. His body crumbled into dust and he could feel his soul trying to rush away, to go on. To die.
And with all his heart he screamed "No!" The rushing feeling stopped. By his own will he was remaining, and he felt his ties with the earth slowly reassert themselves. He wasn't going anywhere, and a flood of relief washed through him.
Until he looked down, and remembered that he had no body. It was dust and he was…a ghost, he realized suddenly. He wondered if things could get any worse. First a vampire, now a ghost? This couldn't be happening.
Jesse decided firmly to not think about it. Not now anyway. He had to check on his friends, see if he could get a message to Willow or Xander, tell them that he was still around.
Although, he couldn't help but feel a little pissed at Xander. The guy did kind of kill him. Who kills their own best friend, even if he is a vampire?
He sighed. As a vampire, he had been trying to kill his friends. He supposed he shouldn't hold a grudge, and looked around.
He was still in the bronze, drifting near the edge of the dance floor where he had been killed. The place was a shambles, with people screaming and fighting to escape. He looked up at the fight on the stage, where Buffy was fighting Luke.
Even though he knew that she was the slayer, it was a shock to see her fighting Luke with such ease and strength. Soon however, Luke began to turn the tide of the fight. Jesse tried to move forward, whether to help or just to see what was going on he wasn't sure. He quickly realized, however, that he couldn't move at all. Stupid disintegrated body.
He looked up at the stage in time to see Buffy trick Luke by breaking the window. Jesse couldn't believe that Luke was stupid enough to fall for that. What the hell kind of vampire couldn't tell the difference between a streetlight and the sun?
He watched Buffy kill a distracted Luke with ease, and as the other vampires fled, knowing that the harvest was a failure, Willow and Xander moved toward Buffy to check on her.
Jesse watched them talking and joking together with something approaching horror. Xander looked sad, but not devastated. They were reassuring him that it was okay, that it wasn't his fault that Jesse was dead.
Jesse would've liked to voice his own opinion on that particular matter, but he couldn't speak, or even get closer to them, so he gave that up as useless. He watched them leave together, and wondered how Willow and Xander could look so calm, so nonchalant about their oldest friend being staked. It was like they didn't care.
He stared at the door they had exited through and felt rage rising within him, strong enough to finally fuel his lost voice. "I'm still here!" he screamed at the closed door. Quieter, he repeated, "I'm still here."