Edward Eats a Taco
"I dare you, Sparkle Bitch," I challenged. "Or are you too much of a pussy to eat this taco?" Edward Cullen glared at me with the intensity of a boner.
"You asshole. You know we vampires cannot resist the DARE!" He eyed the taco repulsively.
"Come on bro, just do it so we can leave. She has this place lined with garlic. And Jacob fangurlz," Jasper pleaded from his little corner.
"You heard him. Come on, Eddy, find your glittering balls and swallow the damn taco," I urged impatiently.
"Fuck you, Samantha," he cussed then picked up the taco. He put it in his mouth. He chewed it with regret. Then he swallowed it.
"There. Was that so hard?" I asked innocently.
"That's what he said," Jasper muttered from the corner.
"I'm going to have to vomit this up now," Edward said sickly.
"Ugh… I think I'm going to be sick!" Ed attempted to reach the toilet but failed, and then proceeded to vomit on my nice clean floor.
"Oh great. That's JUST GREAT! Why can't you ever just do something? There's always some consequence with everything you do, Edward! You can't fuck Bella without knocking her up, you can't just die without turning into a vampire, and you can't go out into the sun without having thousands of girls drool over you! FUCK THIS. Leave my presence!" I clamored.
"You dared me to eat the taco!" Edward exclaimed. Jasper walked over to the barf and studied it.
"This is one bloody taco!"