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January 5th

"What the hell is wrong with you? I hate you… I hate you."

With that he ran away from me, no glances back. I saw the tears, I saw the hurt, I saw the betrayl in his eyes and his voice… it pained me greatly knowing that it was me who made him like that. He's never been like that since Yagyuu the jerk cheated on him with that data-freak from Seigaku. I don't even know what I did to him! That sentence came out of no where. It hurt me, a steel arrow piercing through my heart, Jackal was beside me and heard everything but didn't comment. Jackal seemed to know I didn't know what happened by the look of confusion on my face. I've never been so shocked in my life, my gum fell out of my mouth. No one else was around except for my doubles partner. Tears filled my eyes, and fell so quickly that I didn't have time to even try to stop them. But I refused Jackals comforting words, his sympathy, his offer to walk me home knowing I'm in no state to do so alone, his worry, his everything. So, I walked home alone, for the first time since I started my third year at RikkaiDai high school. I usually walk home with Yukimura, Niou, and/or Akaya. Yukimura left with Sanada right after practice ended, Akaya's out with Yanagi, and Niou is mad at me. I knew I should of took Jackal's offer. If I had, nothing would of happened that did after I left…

January 6th

I'm at the hospital, sitting on one of the beds, a doctor in front of me with a nurse beside him. My parents had left an hour ago, visiting hours had ended. I'm waiting for the doctor to talk, I can see it in his eyes, I know he has something to say to me…

He looked at me "Marui-san, you'll be free to go in two weeks." He smiled "We have to wait for your injuries to heal more." He gave the nurse a look "Your stitches will be taken out in a week." He frowned "You won't be able to play tennis for a while." He sighed "No, don't look at me like I'm crazy Marui-san. You can't over exert yourself, so you need to take it easy." He smiled a tiny smile "Do you have someone who will walk you home after school for the time being? I want to make sure you get home safely." He gave me a knowing look "I want you to see a therapist for a while, this is a trauma that can affect your every day life." His face had sympathy on it. It made my heart tighten with sadness. I refused the therapy, I told him I would do it for the time being I am inside the hospital but not out of.

January 10th

It's been three days since I was told by the doctor that I couldn't play tennis for a while. None of my team mates had come to visit me except for Jackal, he's one person who I can definitely rely on. We talked for hours and hours, by the time we noticed, visiting hours were over. He walked towards the door, put his hand on the handle and opened the door. He didn't walk out, instead he turned and looked at me.

"You can't pretend." Was all he said before he walked out closing the door behind him.

January 11th

"You can't pretend."

Those words stayed in my head ever since he left. I can't get them out. I just want them to leave me alone. Why can't they just go away? Does god hate me that much?

January 12th

The whole team came to visit me today. All their faces held sympathy, confusion, worry, hurt, and only two people knew what happened before I was admitted into the hospital. Jackal and Niou. We talked. We laughed. Akaya burst into tears after a silence in the room, came over and hugged me saying he wanted his Marui-sempai back in school, and that he misses the annoying popping of bubble gum during tennis practices.

January 13th

Only Akaya came today, he told me everyone else was busy.

"What's wrong Akaya?" I had asked him. He wasn't acting like the normal bratty Akaya.

"Nothing sempai." He lied.

"I hate when you lie to me Akaya." I told him, narrowing my eyes.

"Yanagi started to date some guy from Seigaku, I think it's that snake guy." He had told me the truth. So quickly at that too. I engulfed him in a hug, tears were flowing down his cheeks. I've never seen him cry, I wanted to hurt Yanagi right now, how dare he do that to poor Akaya… He fell asleep at my side that night. Neither of us caring if visiting hours were over. I told the doctors he had no where to go tonight so they whole heartedly agreed to let him stay.

January 14th

Niou sent me a text today.

We're over, through. Done. I don't wanna see you anymore. He had sent.

What did I do Niou? I don't know what I did.I replied.

It turns out, Niou never liked me… I was just a back up boyfriend because Yagyuu had hurt him. Now he's going out with that Shishido guy from Hyotei.

January 15th

I never actually thought about what happened after I left Jackal alone that day… After I left, I walked down the sidewalk frowning. Nothing happened there. I was pondering over what I could of done to Niou to make him say he hated me. Twice. Tears started streaming down my face. The hurtful words had hit me, hit me hard. I couldn't think straight, therefore wasn't looking where I was walking. I kept bumping into people, telling them sorry and then just walked off. I finally had gotten to the street that I was supposed to cross in order to get to my house, but I wasn't paying attention to the digital sign that said to not walk. I didn't hear the honking horn of the car that was coming at me. Then, everything went silent. I could still see. See the driver come running out of the car, panic in his eyes, were those tears? I saw his lips shout 'call the police!", I saw all the people gather around me. What was going on? Why were people crying? Is something wrong? I could still move, I looked towards the side and saw the blood under me, I touched the left side of my head and pulled my hand back to see a large amount of blood on it. There was a mirror to the right where no one was standing. I saw myself. My pink hair stained with the crimson red blood around me, blood on my hands, clothes, arms, and my face. I saw the tears of some people standing around. A woman was on her phone, probably the police, fear clearly evident in her face, eyes, and posture. I was hit, by a car walking home from school, after Niou had told me he hated me. After Jackal had wanted to walk me home, to make sure something like this wouldn't happen to me.

January 16th

I still haven't told the team I wouldn't be able to play tennis for a while.

January 17th

I'll tell them tomorrow.

January 18th

What will happen to Jackal if I'm not playing tennis?

January 19th

I told the team today.

Akaya cried in my arms again.

Yukimura was sad, he didn't think it was that bad that I wounldn't be able to play.

Yanagi's face held sympathy.

Sanada's face was confused. Why?

Yagyuu was frowning.

Niou looked like he didn't care.

Jackal looked hurt, worse than everyone there. His best friend, his doubles partner, wasn't allowed to play tennis.

Yukimura asked for how long.

I told him that the doctor never told me how long.

January 20th

I left the hospital today. I'm going home finally. The doctor told me no more hard core tennis for the rest of the school year, only the simple things like hitting the ball back and forth with out moving too much. But next year I'm allowed to continue the regular tennis I usually play.

January 21st

I'm sitting at home right now, watching the Tale of Two Sisters with Akaya. He came over to spend time with his favorite sempai. He's cuddled into my side, for the first time since I have been in the hospital. I smiled a real smile. I had my arms around him, it was cold, we had a blanket around us, along with sweatshirts but it was still freezing. This movie's scary, every time something happened Akaya would tighten his hold on my arm, and in return I would tighten my arms around him in reasurance that nothing is going to happen to him. That I'd be there for him.

January 24th

I didn't go back to school right away. I'm going back tomorrow on Wednesday. I didn't want to face the students at my school just yet. I'm afraid to go back. I don't want people to see me so vulnerable. I don't want people to pity me.

February 7th

I started talking to Niou again. We decided to be friends and nothing more. He had told me he actually did like me but didn't know if we were supposed to be together. That he had liked Shishido since they met in our third year of middle school. I smiled at him, no hurt shown in it, no hurt too show in it. He just smiled back.

February 14th

Akaya and I were hanging out today. We do that a lot now, since I got out of the hospital. He's a sweetheart, he cares about me. He does things Niou never did when we were together. When we're alone, Akaya holds my hand and traces shapes in my palm, or follows the lines on it. He grinned up at me.

"It looks like you're going to get married a lot sempai, according to this hand at least." He teased me for a couple minutes before I covered his mouth with said hand. To which he licked and I yelled at him that what he just did was disgusting. He just laughed, I couldn't be mad him for much longer, so I joined in.

February 17th

I'm falling in love with Kirihara Akaya.

February 19th

I still hadn't confessed to him. I don't think I will. I'm too shy about it. I had told Jackal and he just grinned telling me that he knew it. I hit him in the back of the head for the comment about us always hanging out, that we flirt when no one is around.

March 2nd

Akaya confessed to me. He said he liked me today when we were in my room doing our "homework". We were just talking about random things but then he just went off and said "I like you Marui-sempai, I really do. I have since my second year in middle school when I joined the team." Then he smiled up at me sadly and told me he had to go. Before I could say anything to him, he left…

March 4th

"Akaya." I was ignored, in my own house. I had dragged Akaya here to talk to him about the other day. "Akaya." No avail. "Damn it Akaya at least look at me." I knew hurt was in my voice, and I knew Akaya could hear it as well.

"What sempai?" He had asked me.

"About the other day…" I was cut off.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Too bad."

"No."

"Yes Akaya, we need to talk about it."

"No Marui-sempai we don't need to."

"I don't care. I want to talk about it. You are going to listen to every single word I tell you, got it?"

"Yes sempai." Was the answer in return.

Then, I started to talk… "I can't believe you confess to me and then just leave my house before I could even say anything to you!" I almost yelled, making Akaya wince. I'm glad my parents aren't home today. He had tried to cut in but I wouldn't let him. "No Akaya, don't talk until I stop with my rant." A quick 'sorry sempai please continue' was said. "Akaya, if you had liked me why didn't you tell me when we were in middle school?"

"I thought you were dating that sleepy guy from hyotei…"

"I'd never date that stalker. I had liked you too Akaya." The word had stung Akaya but he didn't show it. "And then, you started to hang out with Yanagi-san more… Then Niou confessed to me. I told him yes because I thought you didn't like me. Then the time him and I were together since our third year, my feelings for you left. I didn't want to have them while you were with Yanagi unofficially and when I was with Niou. But when I got hit by that car and when you literally cried in my arms those times in the hospital I couldn't help but feel those emotions again. And then we started hanging out more which definitely didn't help. Then in February I admitted to myself that I was falling in love with you all over again." That's it. I had told him what's been eating at me for the past couple of weeks.

Akaya grinned up at me. He stood up, wrapped his arms around my neck, and kissed me. It was slow as if we've never done it before, like we've never kissed anyone. I wrapped my arms around him pulling him closer. Then he spoke…

"I love you… I love you." And kissed me again.

"I love you too Akaya."

Wow. Seven pages. Never wrote anything this long in my life. I just got caught up in it. I really liked writing this. I hope you guys did too.

Reviews are love.