Down to you,
You're pushing and pulling me down to you,
But I don't know what I,
Gokudera couldn't want him,he tried not to. Yamamoto was someone who caused him physical aches and pains. But when they were alone, when he was pulled down and looked to the other's eyes.... all he felt was confusion.
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself.
I'm saying something that I should have never thought .
When lips crashed and hands wandered, they were both caught up in each other. Yamamoto wanted all of him. None of those one-stands. He wanted all of Gokudera, mind,body, and soul. Most importantly , he wanted his heart. Which he was afraid was asking for too much.
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself.
From saying something that I should have never thought of you, of you
Gokudera couldn't believe how hard he was falling. He promised all he wanted from the other was purely physical. But why did he feel so empty afterwards? It burned him when he saw him with anyone, and turned his vision red. But he hurt him all the time. He couldn't find it in himself to commit, not yet.
You're pushing and pulling me down to you,
But I don't know what I want,
No I don't what I want.
Yamamoto wasn't sure if being constantly hurt was worth it. The words that were directed to him were harsh and stung. But behind closed doors, that all changed. He was wanted, he was needed. The other's words were sweet and needy. Did he want a relationship that was only important behind closed doors, or was he just wasting his time?
You got it, you got it,
some kind f magic.
Hypnotic, hypnotic,
You're leaving me breathless
Gokudera felt Yamamoto had some hold over him. When he looked into his eyes, he felt like his soul was being pulled from his body. Their first kiss was... almost magical. When their lips met, all sense of being left him. He couldn't breathe, and couldn't feel nothing but him. In that one moment, he could have been asked to do anything, be anything and would have done it. Just so that feeling wouldn't go away.
I hate this, I hate this,
You're not the one I believe in.
With God as my witness.
Yamamoto was in too deep. He could deny and deny, but the truth was clear. He was in love. When asked if he loved the other, what came out was a lie. A goddamn fucking lie.
"Of course not, we had a agreement, nothing serious" said Yamamoto, grinning to hide his pain and disappointment.
I knew, I know in my heart it's not you
I know but now I know what I want, I want
Oh no I should have never thought.
Gokudera knew he had to explain himself. He wanted Yamamoto more than as a fuck buddy. He wanted his love and attention. He kept him from locking away his heart. He took so much and never gave. That was all going to change, so help him. He should have never denied what he knew from the beginning. He was irrevocably in love.
"I love you, stupid idiot"
"I thought so"