Gabby Fabulous
By jerseygirlinoxford (sue)
A/N: Yes…this is another Gabby story. This takes place immediately after Viva La Gabby. I just wanted to again say thanks to all of you that have left such wonderful feedback for this series. Gabby is so much fun to write. When she wants to come out and play, the words just seem to magically flow through my fingers and into my computer. Standard disclaimer applies except I own the rights to Gabby which still means I don't make shit off writing this. Hope you enjoy!
Part One
Ranger was still in the shower when Stephanie quickly gathered all of Gabby's things. She wanted to drop Gabby off at Tank and Lula's alone, so she could privately warn Lula about curbing her mouth. Stephanie knew it would be hard enough for Lula to watch her language around Gabby. Hell, they all slipped up around her. But with Lula being 8.5 months pregnant, this was going to require an Olympic-sized effort on her part. Stephanie knew how much Tank and Lula loved Gabby, and both were so excited about having one of their own.
"You make sure you are a good girl for Auntie Lula and Uncle Tank, Gabby," Stephanie told her on the drive over. Gabby bobbed her head up and down.
"I will, Mommy," Gabby told her. "I love Auntie Lula and Uncle Tank this much!" She threw her arms wide apart and giggled. Stephanie couldn't help but smile.
"I know you do, Sweet Pea. But, you have to remember that Uncle Tank has…uh…" Stephanie paused to search for the right words.
"A broke ass?" Gabby offered. Stephanie bit her lower lip to stop herself from laughing. "That's what Daddy said." She glanced over at Gabby through the rear view mirror. Her eyes widened in expectation of her answer.
"Something like that," Stephanie finally replied. "Just remember that Daddy doesn't like it when you say ass. Just say that Uncle Tank has a boo-boo. And Auntie Lula gets tired really easy, so you make sure you take good care of her, too." Gabby's face brightened into a carbon copy of her father's 1000 watt smile.
"I promise I'll be the bestest girl and take real good care of Auntie Lula and Uncle Tank," Gabby told her enthusiastically. "Even if Auntie Lula says bad words." Stephanie rolled her eyes. They were going to turn Ranger into a benzo junkie. She needed Ranger to be at 100%. Especially with another baby on the way. They decided to wait till they got back from Boston to tell Gabby that she was pregnant. Then, they would make the announcement to everyone. Although she just hoped for a healthy baby, Stephanie secretly wished this one would be a boy. She didn't think Ranger's sanity could handle another girl.
"I know you will. And when Mommy and Daddy get back tomorrow, we'll all go out for a special dinner! How does that sound?" Gabby clapped her hands.
"Yea! Dinner! And can we get ice cream too?" Stephanie was about to answer when her phone rang. Ranger.
"Here, Gabby….it's Daddy." Gabby took the phone and answered it.
"Hi Daddy! I miss you!"
Ranger smiled. "Hi, Baby Girl. I was just calling to say good bye, and we'll see you tomorrow. Can I talk to Mommy?"
"You can't talk to Mommy 'cause she's driving, and you're not aposta talk on the phone and drive at the same time, Daddy! Duh!" she scolded. Then, she disconnected the line. "That was Daddy. You have to call him back." Again, Stephanie bit back a smile. Ranger hated being hung up on. But, what was he going to do about it? Yell at his daughter? Not!
"I'll call him back after I drop you off. And, here we are!" Stephanie told her as she pulled into their driveway. Tank and Lula hobbled and waddled out on to their front porch.
"It's my Little Bat Girl!" Lula yelled out to Gabby.
"Hi, Auntie Lula!" Gabby squealed and bounced in her booster seat as Stephanie furiously worked to set her free. Once released, Gabby shot out of the SUV and threw herself into Lula's waiting arms. Tank limped over to help Stephanie with Gabby's bags.
"Are you planning on being in Boston for a week?" Tank joked as he looked over all her stuff. Stephanie smirked.
"I've got a few changes of clothes, her Snoopy, her Snoopy blanket, her DVDs, her coloring books and crayons, and this bag has a few snacks." Tank frowned at the huge shopping bag that Stephanie handed him.
"A few snacks? Damn, Bombshell…there's enough snacks for all of Rangeman here!" Tank quipped. Stephanie sighed.
"I don't want either of you having to run out to get her something. There is everything that she likes in there. If I only brought a couple things, she would want the one thing I didn't pack. Then, she would give you the lip, and you would be on your way to the store before you knew what hit you. You know what a good manipulator Gabby is. She's even better at it than I am," she explained. Tank shook his head.
"No wonder you have to drug Ranger all the time, " he muttered. They followed Lula and Gabby inside.
"We're gonna have lots of fun. I'll drawed you some pictures, and we can watch movies, and have snacks….right Auntie Lula?" Gabby told them as she jumped up and down. Lula looked into the gigantic snack bag that Tank was carrying.
"Ooh…thanks White Girl. You brought the good shit!" Gabby gasped and pointed at Lula.
"You said a bad word, Auntie Lula." Lula looked sheepish.
"I'm sorry, Little Bat Girl." She turned to Stephanie. "I'm sorry, White Girl. I know I gotta watch my mouth. I'm really gonna try. I promise." Stephanie gave her a hug.
"I know it's hard. We all forget and say things in front of her. Just…please be extra careful. She's like a DVR…she picks up everything and stores it for later use. She almost killed Ranger with the stuff she heard at the hospital the other day," Stephanie explained. She turned and gave Tank a quick hug. "Okay, Gabby, we'll see you tomorrow. I love you. Be good." Gabby ran to her, and she pulled her into a bear hug.
"I love you, Mommy. Bye-Bye," she replied. She waved Stephanie out of site. Tank held his hands out, and Gabby flung herself towards him. He picked her up gingerly, being mindful of his stitches, and gave her a kiss. She curled her fingers into claws and growled. "I'm a bampire, Uncle Tank. And, I'm gonna shave your pubes!" Tank threw his head back and howled. Lula frowned.
"I don't thank so. He already bald-headed. That fine Mississippi tube snake needs him some bushes." Lula told them absently pointing to Tank's crotch. Tank's and Gabby's eyes widened. Gabby's out of curiosity. Tank's out of utter horror. Lula looked down at her swollen feet. "Shit! I gotta get off these feet. Look at me…I'm swolled like a mother fuck." Gabby gasped.
"Auntie Lula!" she cried. "You said two bad words!" Now, it was Lula that looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Oh shit, Little Bat Girl….I'm sorry!" Lula quickly apologized. "Being all pregnant and swolled makes me say stuff I don't mean to. You're gonna have to help to remind me not to cuss around you." Gabby enthusiastically nodded.
"Okay, Auntie Lula, but you said shit again. And, that's a bad word," Gabby explained.
"Damn!" Lula responded then clapped a hand over her mouth. Gabby looked at Tank and giggled.
"Auntie Lula! You did it again!" Gabby rolled her eyes and looked back at Tank. "What are we gonna do with her?" Tank laughed again.
"How about we stuff her mouth with Twinkies?" Tank suggested with a wink. "Then, no bad words can come flying out." Gabby and Lula both clapped.
"Yea! Twinkies! My favorite!" Gabby cheered. Lula led them back in the house.
"You have a seat on the couch, Gabby. I'll get us some chocolate milk," Lula told her.
"Yea! Chocolate milk! My favorite!" Tank sat her down then took the Twinkie box from the grocery bag. He pulled a little serving plate from the hutch.
"You can put the Twinkies here, Little Girl. I'll be right back." As Tank left the room, Lula waddled back in with a tray with two huge glasses of chocolate milk with Crazy Straws.
"Look, Little Bat Girl! I got us some Crazy straws. I got a whole case of 'em real cheap on account of the high lead content and all. Oh…just don't chew on the end of the straw, okay? Lead ain't good for ya. It rots yo teef or somethin' like that." Gabby smiled and nodded. Lula set the tray on the coffee table as Gabby unwrapped all the Twinkies. Lula flopped down on the couch. She set a glass in front of Gabby, then put one in front of herself. Gabby leaned over and took a sip.
"Yum! You make the goodest chocolate milk, Auntie Lula," she told her and handed her a Twinkie. Lula grinned from ear to ear. She loved watching Gabby. The kid was easy to please.
"That's 'cause I don't used that powdered shit like yo momma does. I used the real Hersey's syrup….uh…oops. Sorry, Gabby. I know I fucked up again! Shit…uh…oops!" Lula dropped her head into her hands. Gabby climbed up and gave her a hug.
"It's okay, Auntie Lula. I still love you," she told her. Gabby swung her arms out. "I love you this much!" Lula smiled at the adorable little girl in her arms. She couldn't help the tears in her eyes. They were expecting a boy. But at that moment, Lula almost wished she was having a girl. She couldn't wait to experience the love that Gabby gave them with their own child.
"And I love you too, Little Bat Girl. Just don't go telling yo momma that I slipped up so much."
"Okay," Gabby agreed. They dug into the plate of Twinkies. Gabby sniffed the air and turned to Lula. "Pee-ewe, Auntie Lula. It smells like Uncle Tank is reading his newspaper!" Lula craned her neck towards the hallway and took her own long sniff.
"Damn girl!...I mean I think you right." Lula took a long sip from her chocolate milk while watching the brownish liquid wind its way through the twisted straw.
"Auntie Lula…how come it always smells bad when Uncle Tank reads his newspaper?" Lula shrugged her shoulders as she bit into another Twinkie.
"That's just odor causing bacteria. Uh…here…" Lula reached around behind the couch, pulled out a can of air neutralizing spray, and handed it to Gabby. "Just spray this when he comes out."
"Okay, Auntie Lula." Gabby finished her Twinkie and took a long sip from her chocolate milk. She took the huge, Costco-sized can in one hand, held her nose with the other, and camped out in front of the bathroom door.
A few minutes later, Tank emerged with a folded Trenton Times under his arm. Gabby lurched forward and sprayed Tank in the face. "Take that you odor, cursing blackteria!" Tank cried out in pain as the spray burned his eyes like MACE. The paper gently sailed to the floor as it fanned out all over the hallway. Tank dropped his face into his hands as Gabby continued to spray.
"Oh!" Lula yelled and tried to get herself off the couch. "That's enough, Gabby! You got it all!" Tank sank to his knees hissing in pain. Lula finally rolled herself to the side to get the leverage to stand, and then waddled over to them. "You okay, Tank?"
"Did I get all the blackteria, Uncle Tank?" Tank gave her a confused look through his blood shot eyes.
"I told her that smell was from bacteria. She was only trying to help," Lula explained as she helped him back to his feet. Tank staggered to the sink and rinsed the chemicals out of his eyes. "Damn Little Bat Girl….you got some good aim. Uh..I mean…uh…dang! Hey…you can say dang. That gives me a good idea. I ain't allowed to cuss, and you too little to cuss, so I'm gonna teach you how to talk good. Instead of saying damn…we can say dang. That's not a bad word." Lula smiled proudly.
"Uh…Lula…" Tank stammered, "I don't think that's such a good idea."
"Dang!" Gabby said trying out her new word. Lula smiled back at her.
"Nah! I think it's a great idea. You go dry yo face and lay down for a while. I'm gonna teach Little Bat Girl here a whole new language!" Lula pushed Tank towards their bedroom. "Hmmmm?" Lula scratched her head. "What word should we work on next?" She took Gabby by the hand and led her back to the couch.
TBC……