Disclaimer: I do not own any D. Gray-man characters. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this now would I? :)
SPOILER ALERT! CONTAINS SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 191 IN MANGA!
Sida was one of the only people who had the nerves to talk to Kanda they way that she did. They were constantly at each other's throat. Well, Kanda was always fighting with the somewhat intriguing woman. No, they weren't in love. She was nearly 12 years older than him. No, she was more of a mother to him than anything and he hated it. Sida on the other hand, never gave up on the idea.
When she reached the familiar wooden door, she knocked. Without waiting for an answer, she walked in. Kanda was stretched out on his bed, facing the ceiling. His eyes were closed and acted as if he didn't hear her come in.
Sida opened the plate and moved it in front of his face, wafting the smell of the food towards his nose. She smiled when he opened his eyes to scowl at her.
"Hi there." she said, sitting in the chair across from him. He didn't speak. "Oh, come on. I'm sorry for embarrassing you earlier. I was just having a bit of fun. Here, I brought soba." She handed him the plate with a set of chopsticks. The corners of his lips twitched as if he wanted to smile but he kept his expression hard as he ate.
"Do you remember when you were younger and I made you that promise?" Sida started. Kanda nodded.
"Yes, you had me repeat it to you 100 times a day just to make sure that I remembered. You said that you would never give up on me and that, no matter what, I was going to have a family for the first time." He recited from nearly a decade of having it drilled into his head. Sida smiled.
"And I'm still keeping with that promise. But you need to learn to control your temper." Sida tried to tread lightly on the subject so as to not set him off again.
"You're one to talk." Kanda answered. Sida sighed. She had to admit that she was where he got his temper from but that was no excuse on his part.
"At least I'm learning to control mine. I was in that same state that you're in now when I was a little older than you. I was angry at everything because nothing was going in the right way for me. I didn't even want to be alive. But I learned that sometimes you have to turn this entire thing into a game. There are times when it's the only way you can keep from going insane." Sida said, leaning back in the chair.
"General Zokaro told you that, didn't he?" Kanda looked at the woman out of the corner of his eye.
"Well, the man may be a psychopath but he's got some brains behind that masochistic temper of his." Sida pat him on the knee as she stood up to walk out the door and back to the science department to spend the rest of the afternoon with Komui. She opened the door and turned around just before stepping out.
"Now I see why you were the way you were at my age." Kanda muttered.
"Actually Kanda, it wasn't him that made me angry. In fact, I enjoyed having someone who would look after me and help me. I was angry because I was 21 and had a nine year old left in my care. Then when they started those awful experiments on you, it scared me. You were nothing short of a son to me. I'd never been attached to anyone like that in my life. Do you realize that every single time they had you in that room, I'd sit outside and cry because I couldn't do anything to stop them or to help you?" Sida's anger was getting the better of her. "Then when I lost control of my innocence, I was transferred here, away from you. I can't tell you how much I wanted to leave."
"Well then leave." Kanda was in her face as they backed out of the room. "If you hate it here so much, why don't you go find a new home. I never wanted you to watch over me in the first place. You're not even my real mother! You're not even family!" His face was contorted with anger.
"I'm the closest thing to a family that you've ever had to one, Kanda Yuu. Name ten people besides me that you would even think of considering family." Sida nodded at Kanda's silence and walked off, leaving him standing in the middle of the hallway looking as if he were about to explode.
Sida was almost to the women's restroom when she turned a corner and literally ran into Komui. She wiped the tears from her eyes as she tried to side step him. Despite her attempts, he grabbed her arm.
"What's wrong, Sida?" She saw the worried look in his eyes and fell into her tears again.
The long haired child climbed out of the hole, looking exhausted and zoned out. Everyone around hustled to get clothing for the child and get him dried and warm. Twenty one year old Sida watched as the child was dragged from the cold room and into the main building. They dressed him and explained who and what he was to the child. He stared at them blankly. The branch head turned towards the young woman and spoke.
"Sida." Sida looked up from her position leaning against the column. "This child will be your charge from now on. I'll hear no excuses." She said, catching Sida just as she opened her mouth to protest. Sida closed it with a sharp snap and rolled her eyes.
"Yes ma'am," was her response. She had never taken care of a child before. But it couldn't be too hard. After all, the branch head and her husband had a child didn't they? It seemed easy enough. She learned his name was Yu Kanda.
About a week into breaking up fights between the two children in the building she realized her observations had been incorrect. The child was a brat. He started the majority of the fights between him and Alma. She even had had a few arguments with him herself. It wasn't until the project coordinators came to pick him up for the first time that she realized how much she actually cared for Yu Kanda.
She felt as if her heart were being ripped out of her chest as she listened to the child's screams echoing from the inside of the lab. She couldn't stand hearing him in pain but something in her kept her from turning to walk away. She stood outside the door, one hand supporting the majority of her weight against the wall; the other clutched the shirt just over her heart in a desperate attempt to get it to start working correctly again. She could hardly breathe from her sobs. Her face was soaked with tears. All in all, it was a pitiful sight to see. The other members of the branch eventually learned that there was nothing they could do to get the young woman away from the door. She had opened her heart to this child, a feat that not even the handsomest branch member could perform. Yu Kanda had become nothing short of a son to the hardened woman.
Sida would remain outside the laboratory every time they would perform the experiment and cry as she listened to the coordinators discuss successes and failures at each step. What would hit her the hardest, causing her heart to stop completely, was when they would state 'rebirth'. That always meant that innocence had killed him. She would die a little along with him each time.
The day she woke to find Kanda back in the infirmary was one of the worst days of her life. They were discussing discarding the child as if he were nothing. It took four exorcists and three staff members to pull Sida back out of the room and keep her under control. The anger that blazed in her eyes frightened all that looked into them. The woman had made up her mind. She wasn't going anywhere without a fight. They dragged her out of the room, screaming.
"Don't you touch him! I'd kill you all before I let you lay your filthy hands on my son!" Finally, she was able to be taken out of the room. She hardly recoiled when she was slammed against the wall by one of the stronger men holding her.
"Sida! Calm down! You've lost it!"
"GET AWAY FROM HIM! GET OFF OF ME! LET ME GO!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her side. "Don't… touch… my… son…" she whispered as her world went black.
It was three days before she woke up again. Unfamiliar faces came into view; blurry at first, then taking form and solidifying into something recognizable.
"Can she still be used?" A deep voice came from one of the blurs.
"Hevlaska had to remove the innocence. She said there was nothing she could do." a second voice answered.
"Well, what happened?" The first voice sounded angry, apparently not hearing what he wanted to hear.
"Apparently, her innocence back fired on her for some reason. It could have been from anything. Perhaps an overload of emotion?" The second voice questioned.
"Where am I?" She asked, sitting up and taking in her surroundings. She could feel her long dark hair falling over her arms. The feeling was unnerving. She never took her hair out of the holder except to shower. The poorly made band held every special meaning for her. Kanda had given it to her as an apology for arguing with her. It was the one and only time he had done something of the sort.
She became rash, hastily moving her hands and eyes, searching for her treasure. At the thought of Kanda, she froze.
"Where is he?" she asked, trying to climb out of the bed. Strong, firm hands pushed her back onto her pillows, trying to calm her down.
"Please, try to calm down. You're in the infirmary at headquarters. Now, where's who?" the man asked.
"Kanda, where is he?" Slowly, her world went black again.
When she finally woke up again, Sida was calmer. She sat up and looked beside her. The band she had been searching for days earlier lay beside her. Slowly, she put her hair back into it's low side ponytail. Tears filled her eyes. She tried to blink them back as the door to the infirmary opened. A man who was younger than her walked in, a young child standing behind him.
"Here you go." The man said, moving out of the way. The dark haired boy stayed in his spot, staring at Sida as she lay in her bed, the tears she had tried to suppress overflowing onto her cheeks.
Slowly, the child moved forward eventually reaching Sida's outstretched arms. She pulled him up to her and held him close like he had never let her. She kissed where her tears fell into his hair as he cried into her shoulder.
"I love you Mom." She barely heard him whisper. Smiling, she answered him.
"I love you too. You're safe now. So long as you're in my arms."
It was a week before Kanda and Sida talked to each other again. Kanda had come back to headquarters hurt. His injury had been too much for his regeneration abilities to take care of in a short amount of time. He had been forced to come home to be treated.
Sida ran into the infirmary when she was allowed to enter again. Kanda was sitting up against his pillows, his head laid back with his eyes closed. He looked so peaceful, she almost didn't want to disturb him. She sat on the edge of the mattress and pushed a few strands of hair out of his face. He opened his eyes in response and stared at her, too tired to scowl.
"Welcome home." she said.
"I'm safe now." Kanda said, half way wanting her out of the room, half way wanting to reassure her. Sida reached over and wrapped her arms around the young exorcist's neck. He was so shocked that all he could do was place his hand on her back in response.
"So long as you're in my arms."
Please let me know what you think. I'm kinda wanting to turn this into an actual story but I want to know that people are actually going to read it soo... reviews are really nice. Thanks loads!