So-my first Bleach fan fiction!Yay! I kinda wanna start by writing at least one fan fiction for each of my favourite anime's so this is my Bleach one. I love Grimmjow-obviously and my second fave character is Renji so I wanted to team them up for a AU fan fiction that's a little fun and a little sad. Please be aware this may contain themes that could be taken as offensive and there will be some gay-slang in here too. So this little ditty is about Renji deciding to get back on the dating horse after a three year relationship of his ended when his ex cheats on him he is a little clueless so insert Grimmjow, loud sexually confident, overly protective and wants to help Renji get his life back on track. But things are not going to be easy for the red head and his and Grimmjow's relationship isn't always going to be peaches and roses but I do promise a happy ending never the less- I love happy endings.

"Honey I'm home"

Renji said as he entered his apartment and looked at the couch only to see the blue haired man lazing on the three thousand dollar leather sofa with a bag of chips resting on his muscular chest.

"Hey Faggity Anne guess what?" Grimmjow replied looking at his best friend

"You got a job and you're moving into your own apartment?"

The azure haired male smiled and looked at the tattooed red head

"You're hilarious darling. No I figured something out"

"Well there is a first for everything—what did you figure out?"

Renji walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge; every night coming home was always something different. Living with Grimmjow was like Russian roulette some days he would come home and it would look like a tornado hit it and other days the house was completely tidy, dinner was prepared and Grimmjow actually tolerable. Unfortunately no matter how much the bluenet drove him insane Renji loved his best friend more than anyone. They had been close since college they were the perfect gay couple except that they weren't a couple they would never be a couple they were far too similar for it to ever work out and both of them knew it.

"I know why every time I go down town I end up coming back with a pack of donuts and a six pack of beer"

"Because inside that faggy casing is a chunky man just screaming to get out?" Renji replied

He watched Grimmjow get up off the couch and then ambled into the kitchen and straight to the refrigerator. He had never known someone to be so muscular and yet eat as if he was never going to eat again.

"Wow you are a big bitch today and I didn't even need to take the Cosmo quiz to get the answer to "Is your best friend secretly a bitch?"

Renji smiled and unscrewed the bottle of mineral water and waited for Grimmjow to actually continue what he was saying.

"It's because whenever I go down town I always get so depressed because those drag queens look better than I do, it really sucks—so why the bitchy mood Fagzilla?"

Renji didn't particularly want to talk about why he was moody, he was miserable and had been for the past seven weeks. He had been in a three year relationship that was ended when his ex cheated on him, he didn't even expect it but he had come home and he had found his "beloved" in bed with another man and Grimmjow was there through the whole ordeal. He didn't want to get out of bed, he didn't want to eat and despite the bluenet sometimes made him feel like he wanted to smack his head against the wall he was his rock and he had never let him down he was the reason he got better but as the started seeing happy couples walking hand and hand, kissing and being lovey-dovey he was falling back into that excruciating melancholy.

"It's nothing Grimmjow, just tired that's all"

Renji went to walk away but felt Grimmjow grasp hold of his hand and pulled him back to him. Renji pouted and sighed he knew his best friend would not give up until he had an answer, he knew him way too well.

"Come on buttercup talk to me what's going on?' Grimmjow asked

"Fine—I feel like my life is going nowhere. I just—want my love life back"

His eyes connected with the man that was only an inch shorter than himself. Those deep cerulean colored eyes were so completely hypnotic and they made him feel a little better. He was possibly the only person in his life that he could always rely on and that was something that was never going to change.

'You know what; I can't get an erection unless my balls are squeezed"

Renji furrowed his brows and shook his head sometimes Grimmjow puzzled him

"You have the attention span of a Pekinese dog. You did hear what I said didn't you?"

"Well duh—don't you get it? You just need your balls squeezed—not physically, I mean unless you can't get hard unless you have your balls fondled too. But what I mean is you gotta get out there and start dating again"

As strange as it sounded Grimmjow did have a very valid point. He should have been getting out instead of moping around but the problem was he had forgotten how to get out. He had no idea how to act on a date, he had no idea how to even talk to anyone anymore his heart was broken and everything he did know he had forgotten it was like coming out of the closet all over again.

"I don't think I can do it Grimmjow—I'm gonna to end up making an idiot out of myself, how am I supposed to date when I don't even know how to anymore? What if I am—you know no good anymore"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Babe you are gorgeous, intelligent and I am sure that you are a tiger in the sack. I will help you cherry pie. I won't let you fall again I will be your safety net, your shoulder, your maxi pad"

Renji couldn't help but smile and then let out a soft laugh. Grimmjow had a rather extravagant dating life and he didn't do long term relationships but he did do a lot a men and if he was going to re-learn the basics than Grimmjow was the man to help him.

Renji wrapped his arms around the bluenet and hugged him tightly; he really didn't know how to thank Grimmjow for everything he done for him. He was there when he needed someone Grimmjow really was everything to him.

"Hey lover boy wake up we got work to do"

Renji could feel the heavy weight on him and the warm breath in his ear. He had a million reasons not to get up but clearly he wasn't allowed to sleep any longer.

"Grimmjow get off of me—' Renji moaned sleepily

'Well if you insist but I gotta tell you that I am a top I wouldn't bottom for anyone"

'OFF OF ME, NOT OFF ON ME—idiot—what do you want anyway? The sun isn't even up"

He felt Grimmjow stick his tongue in his ear and wiggled it inside the canal. The red head couldn't help but laugh and then forcefully shove the bluenet off of him and onto the bed beside him. He watched his best friend get comfortable, he folded his large arms behind his head and Renji instantly flopped onto the man's chest, draping his arm over Grimmjow's waist. He looked up towards the slightly shorter man's face and felt the warm digits brush through long crimson silk like strands.

'You and I are going to go have breakfast, you are going to get dressed in something fabulous which means you will be stealing my clothes and we are going to go for a little wander and I am going to show you how gay has changed since you've been out of the game"

Renji furrowed his brows firstly his dress sense was more fabulous then Grimmjow's and secondly he didn't realize that gay could change but apparently it had but he was willing to take his best friends advice and hopefully it worked because he needed to have someone and it wasn't just about sex even though he really needed it but it was mostly the connection he craved, he needed someone to love him and not cheat on him he needed someone he could have fun with and yet could be serious with. He needed someone who understood him and someone he could come home to and just be himself without having to worry about whether he was going to see the man that was supposed to love him in bed with someone else, he needed to know that he was someone that was worth having and not someone who could be tossed in the trash like a used tissue.

"Grimmjow?"

"Yes Tinkerbelle?"

"Why was I cheated on?"

He had never asked that question he never thought he would ask it but he wanted to hear Grimmjow's opinion he didn't care about what anyone else had to say to him the azure haired male's opinion was what mattered the most and even though he knew his best friend would probably be biased but he felt like an answer was owed to him even if it was a sugar coated one.

He felt Grimmjow shift slightly and then the warm lips against his tattooed forehead. Grimmjow hugged him tighter and Renji felt that warmth he always felt when he hugged him, it was the most loving and caring caress he could ever feel Grimmjow just felt safe to him.

"Honey, I don't know why you were cheated on; I wish I had an answer for you but I don't. I am going to say this and it's not because you're my star shine but you are perfect, except you have a lousy taste in men. You didn't deserve it Renj' but I'll always be with you I promise you I will find you someone that will be faithful to you and if they aren't I'll kill them and I'm not even joking"

Renji sat up and rested on his arm and looked down at Grimmjow he wanted to smile but he was sure that the azure haired male was very serious. He and Grimmjow had a very strong bond they knew each other better then they knew themselves so they knew what kind of man they needed and deserved and they were both a great judgement of the men each other dated so Renji couldn't help but feel like a fool for not listening to Grimmjow when he said there was something about his ex he didn't like.

"Renji—"

"Yeah kitten?"

"We better go get breakfast and do what we gotta do because otherwise I'm going to end up asking you to fondle my balls, you'll end hitting me and calling me a dirty pervert, I'm gonna get turned on because you know I like it rough, you will hit me again and then I'm gonna spend the day masturbating so let's go Mary"

He watched Grimmjow quickly move off the bed and disappeared out of the room. Renji couldn't help but feel warm and fuzzy he really loved that Grimmjow wasn't afraid to say what he wanted without reservations he liked people that didn't feel the need to hold back he was usually rather vivacious and loud and he needed someone that complimented that.

"Alright Homo Wan Kenobi teach me your Grimmjow ways"

Renji had been walking with Grimmjow and beside the fact he had discovered that Grimmjow's clothes actually fitted him quite well he had been waiting for his best friend to say something useful instead of discussing the downsides to English accents, which Renji had no idea how that topic even come up.

"Alright Hand Solo, take a look at that guy over there, gay, bi-sexual or straight?"

Renji saw Grimmjow point to a young man that was sitting in front of a bronze statue reading a book. The red head cocked an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders

"I don't fucking know, I'm not psychic"

"Come on just take a guess" Grimmjow encouraged

Renji looked back at the young man again and let out a soft sigh

"Straight" Renji replied

"No he is bi-sexual actually"

Renji looked back at Grimmjow and crinkled his brows he didn't know if his best friend was just taking a guess or if he genuinely knew and if he did know it was probably because he had slept with him in the past

"Did you sleep with him?" Renji asked

"No although I'm tempted. I can tell he is bi-sexual, you see the way his sitting it's kinda on the side and yet his legs aren't completely crossed which means he takes it up the ass and also gives, he is flaunting what his mamma gave him. His hair is well maintained, probably spends about ten to twelve dollars on shampoo and conditioner, it's gelled but not dyed or touched up in anyway"

Renji couldn't believe that Grimmjow was so observant but it still didn't explain how he knew the young man was bi-sexual.

"The book he is reading, see the way his hands are positioned on the front cover it's covering up the title and the author but not completely. He is reading Orson Wells and in case you didn't know because you've been living under a rock he is gay icon in literature. You see gay men would instantly recognize the book and yet straight women would just assume he is intelligent there for instantly attracting both sexes"

The red head smiled Grimmjow was really surprising him. He had no idea that his seemingly dopey best friend actually took a lot in. He was starting to make a lot of sense and he did seem to know people rather well if anyone was going to find him a boyfriend it had to be Grimmjow he had a rather special gift in judging people, probably because he was so picky so he could just sense personality flaws because he was always looking for them even though the longest relationship he had was with a large pizza.

"And last but not least watch his eyes"

Renji did what he was told and he watched the young man and he saw him gaze up from his book and checked out both the women and men that walked past him

"See bi-sexual, what he is doing you don't wanna do that. You wanna attract a decent man babe? I will tell you how to attract a decent man but you have to promise me something—you won't laugh when I tell you"

"I promise I won't laugh"

"Clothes, company, confidence, conservative, constructive criticism, cuteness, charm. I can guarantee you that those things in that order will get you a decent man"

"How do you know this Grimmjow?" Renji asked with curiosity

He watched Grimmjow smile

"I know it works because I ended up getting you using them and I have kept you for the last ten years, it didn't fail me—it won't fail you, I promise. Now let's go to a schwanky uptight bar for rich business men, most of them aren't decent but most are desperate with shitty married lives so they will be drunk so a little bit of flirting will get us free drinks and I can go more into depth about my fool proof plan"

Renji sat with Grimmjow in a booth and after the bluenet shamelessly flirted with a drunk and wealthy man they were getting drinks for free just as Grimmjow said. He admired his best friends confidence and that he wasn't afraid to put himself out there, he didn't lie about anything, he admitted he was a mooch and he admitted that he was more of a one night stand instead of home maker Betty kinda guy and still because he was confident and had a fearless attitude he was able to get men.

"Ok so clothes, first impressions last if you dress like a slut you'll be treated as a slut which is fine for one night stands but not for a commitment. You want to dress like a gentleman but not so much so that you look like you are loaded because people will assume that of you"

Renji pulled a face of confusion it already sounded complicated and with a lot of grey area's but he continued to listen to what Grimmjow was trying to say.

"When we first met face to face do you remember what I was wearing?"

"Jeans and a grey long sleeved shirt with a leather jacket over the top" Renji replied

He watched Grimmjow nod after taking a sip of beer.

"To be exact it was a pair of loose fitting jeans, which didn't hug my crotch so there for I wasn't promoting anything. The grey long sleeved shirt once again was a little loose only enough so it only barely showed off my hot washboard abs and sexy bulky biceps and lastly the leather jacket made from real leather showed I had good taste and I wasn't cheap—basic, stylish and showed some class"

"So you're saying I'm not classy"

He watched Grimmjow lean in closely to him and he smiled

"I mean this with a great amount of love but you dress like a hipster and hipsters are so last season—I watch the style channel when you're at work bringing home the bacon"

Grimmjow sat back and took another sip of the beer before standing up.

"Come on lets go"

'Where are we going?" Renji questioned

"Well duh—we are going to get you some new clothes—really Renji, you gotta pay attention darling"

Even though it was a mental overload he was actually having a good time with Grimmjow. It had been at least seven years since they actually spent an entire day together and he had forgotten how much fun his best friend was. It was a little strange to him that he was taking advice from someone who thought that the Queen Mary was a homosexual super hero and whose idea of romance was hamburgers by candle light but everything his friend was saying did make sense. The more of the day that passed the better Renji was feeling he didn't feel alone, he didn't feel as if he was no good and he didn't feel like everything was completely hopeless it was good for him. He couldn't ask for a better friend, he was perfect.

After two hours shopping and a lengthy conversation about penis size they had finally gone home and Renji was exhausted. He threw the bags down on the couch before walking into his bedroom to get changed. He removed his jacket and hung it up in the closet

'Forgetting something angel?"

Renji turned and looked at Grimmjow who was dangling three brown paper bags off his fingers. The tattooed red head took the bags off of the slightly smaller male's fingers and placed them onto the bed before getting back to undressing. He had been naked in front of Grimmjow many times so he didn't mind taking his kit off in front of him, even though the bluenet was a notorious pervert and took it upon himself to admire a naked body for a lot longer than most would be comfortable with.

'Hey—what's that?"

Renji looked down to where Grimmjow was pointing and quickly put a long sleeve shirt on. He had hoped that his best friend hadn't noticed the scarring on his abdomen.

"It's nothing"

When Renji was at his darkest point he did start to use physical pain to try and forget the emotional. He knew it was stupid but when he felt like he wanted to die, like he wanted to give up he thought that if he felt a different kind of pain then all the other anguish would disappear.

He didn't let Grimmjow know about what he had done and he had hoped the azure haired male would never find out but clearly Grimmjow was now well aware of the only thing that Renji kept secret from him.

"Bullshit, what is that Renji?" Grimmjow growled

He watched the azure haired male reach for his shirt and Renji instantly swatted his friend's hand away but Grimmjow was relentless. He suddenly felt his body hit the mattress and Grimmjow pushing all his weight onto him as he straddled his hips

"GET OFF OF ME GRIMMJOW!" Renji yelled loudly

Grimmjow grabbed hold of the red heads shirt and ripped it in half and he looked down at his scars. Renji could feel his wine colored eyes suddenly pool with tears as Grimmjow glided his hand over the long thin scars that were in line with the thick black tribal tattoos so they didn't seem so obvious

"Renji—what did you do?" Grimmjow asked quietly

Renji blinked and could feel the warm tears starting to leak down his temples and dripping into his long crimson hair that was splayed out on the bed spread.

"Just drop it" Renji sobbed

Grimmjow lowered himself into the red head and put his face close to his and then moved his hands from his abdomen to his cheeks and proceeded to wipe away the tears. Renji sniffed as he felt those warm and gentle hands glide across face and ridded him of the clear streaks.

"Why would you do that to yourself baby?"

"It was a week after the break up; I didn't know what else to do I thought if I felt physical pain then my heart would stop hurting. It didn't stop—'

'If you ever do that again I will be the one causing you hurt. Renji, you should have come to me. I don't care if it's three in the morning I don't care if it's during Say Yes to The Dress, if you are in pain you come to me—promise me you will never do that again"

Renji nodded his head as he continued to look into the sapphire pools he had no intention of doing it again it was something he deeply regretted and something that made him feel weak and even though he was at the time he didn't like the feeling of being weak it was the worst thing he had ever felt other than the anger and sadness he instantly felt when he caught his ex in the act of cheating.

"I promise"

He felt Grimmjow rest into him and embraced him tightly. Renji placed his hands on Grimmjow's back and held the smaller male against him, he could feel Grimmjow's heart beating against his chest and the sweet but masculine scent that exuded from his body penetrated his nose relaxing him with every breath he took. Grimmjow pulled away from him and as he did Renji placed his palm on Grimmjow's cheek and swiped his thumb across it

"I love you Grimmjow—I don't know what I'd do without you"

He watched his best friend smile

"You'd end up dating another asshole and you would spend your days eating Rocky Road ice cream and watching day time soap operas in Spanish because they make more sense than the English ones. And F.Y.I I love you too—you are everything to me and I don't want to see you hurting anymore and I am going to make sure that you never hurt again"