The choir had just finished singing "Carol of the Bells" when from the corner of Erin's eye she noticed a flurry of motion as someone sat next to her. A heavy fall of dark hair clued her in to who it was and she stiffened, inching away from the woman. "What are you doing here?" she hissed as the organ continued to play.
"Reid mentioned something about you finding solace here. I needed to talk to you. How much longer is the service?"
Erin looked down at her hands. "About twenty more minutes." The woman nodded and Erin tried to focus on the service. All her racing brain could settle on was questioning what Alex Blake could possibly want to speak with her about. Finally, they were standing for the final hymn and she pulled out the hymnal, turning to the right page. "Joy to the world, the Lord is come," she sang, listening to Alex fumble over the words beside her.
When the song had ended, the pastor said a closing benediction and Erin closed her eyes, willing herself to be calm. "Is there someplace we can go to talk?" Alex asked as soon as the pastor was in the back, near the door.
"We have a prayer room. Follow me." The woman nodded and let her out, following her closely to the private room. Erin closed the door and took a seat on one of the couches, hoping that Alex would sit across from her. To her relief, that was what happened and she found herself staring at Alex's clasped hands. "So, what did you want to talk about?"
"Reid told me about your problem. He caught us fighting one night before he left and wouldn't let me go until he had impressed upon me the fact that I was potentially setting you back in your recovery."
She drew in a shaky breath as she tried to digest what the woman had just told her. Dr. Reid cared enough about her wellbeing that he would tell a mentor that she was being too harsh. Sure, she had known that they had formed a bit of a bond over their shared demons, but she had never expected to be defended so. "And what did you tell him?" she asked, not looking up from the clenched hands in Alex's lap.
"I told him I'd try. And then he told me to give you this." She unzipped her purse and pulled out a small gift, handing it over. "He told me to tell you that you have to open it in front of me, that you couldn't refuse. I know neither of us wants to be here, really."
Erin chanced a look up into Alex's eyes and saw only casual indifference there. The sharp sting of sorrow and regret once more pierced her breast and she nodded slowly, holding out her hand for the package. Alex placed it in her palm and she brought it close to her chest. "Thank you," she said softly, looking down on it.
The paper was gorgeous, silvery snowflakes on a deep blue background, and she didn't really want to ruin it by tearing it off, no matter how much she wanted to know what Dr. Reid had gotten her. "I'm Skyping my husband in two hours, so I don't have all night, you know."
She pursed her lips as she nodded and turned the box over, slipping her nail beneath the tape to break the seal without ripping the paper. Setting the covering aside, she took a deep breath before lifting the lid. Inside the box was a single sheet of paper and as she picked it up, she saw what he had given her.
Alex gasped when she was what was in the box. "He gave you a first edition copy of A Good Man is Hard to Find? Do you have any idea why he would give you something so precious?"
She shook her head as she unfolded the paper, reading the words that he had written there. Dear Erin, You're probably wondering why I sent this gift with Alex. I know you two are not on the best of terms, but I am hoping that this Christmas season shows you both a way to come together in mutual respect. I'm giving you a copy of this book to remind you about the violence of redemptive grace. You deserve that grace, Erin. Never doubt that. Sincerely, Spencer
Wordlessly, she handed over the letter to Alex and carefully took the book out of the box. She had never read anything by the author, and wondered what…Spencer could have meant about redemptive grace. Opening it, she began to read the first short story in the anthology, immediately falling in love with the style of writing. "Redemptive grace, huh?" Alex asked, her voice sounding different than it had just moments ago.
"I'm sorry?"
"What violence did you experience?"
She sucked in a long breath as she wondered how much she could say to the woman, wondered what might get thrown back in her face at any moment, should Alex get angry enough with her. "Too much," she finally, quietly, said, caressing the cover of the book as she closed it and placed it back in the box.
Meeting Alex's eyes, she saw that some of the earlier disdain had fled and she closed her eyes, not able to look at the woman any longer. "What is it?"
"I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, you know that firsthand, Alex." Suddenly, she didn't want to open herself up to this woman who had never shown one ounce of compassion to her following that awful incident, no matter how she had tried to make her see that it was the only way to do things. "It's hard to atone for our mistakes in a world that expects constant perfection from us. You should know that full well."
The barbed words seemed to hit their mark and Alex blushed a little as she looked away from her. "You're right, I do. So, how do we move on from here?"
"You could start by being nice to my girlfriend." They both looked up at the doorway and she smiled as she saw Dave standing there. "Barring that, I wish you would leave her alone."
"David, be nice. She came here tonight, that's enough of a start."
Erin was startled to feel a cold hand cover hers and she looked back over at Alex, finding the woman near tears. "Let me take you two out to supper. It's the least that I could do."
She felt her brow furrow as she took Dave's hand, letting him help her stand up. "That might be nice, Alex." They all exited the church and she let Dave lead her over to their car. Alex followed close at their heels, climbing in the backseat. "Oh, I didn't realize that you'd be riding with us."
"Well, it would be kind of hard to give you directions from my car, wouldn't it?" Their eyes met in the mirror and she saw that Alex was smiling gently at her and she smiled back, hoping that this was truly the first steps towards reconciliation for them.
"I see," Dave said drolly as he started the car. "Just where is it that we're going?"
"You'll see." Erin looked over at her lover and smiled, shrugging a tiny bit as she reached out and patted his arm. "Just follow my directions."
He nodded and Erin leaned back in the seat, letting her eyes close as she thought about the evening ahead. It would be difficult to spend time in Alex's company, there was no doubt of that, but the end result would be worth it. The anticipation of the Advent season made this reunion all the sweeter and she couldn't ask for anything more than a simple chance at starting anew. God had brought everyone to this moment in time and she would take the open door, hoping that there was some way they could move forward.
"You know, I'm not asking that we be friends," she suddenly said, looking down at the package on her lap. "I know that is too much to ask for. Not everyone is going to be my friend. But I do want us to move forward and have a good working relationship."
"That would be advantageous for us both, I feel. I don't like being angry all the time." It was a tentative admission, but one that made Erin's heart lift with rejoicing. "I rather like having allies that will support me."
"So do I, Alex, so do I." The good cheer of the season filled her heart as she began to hum under her breath. Soon, the others were joining her and she couldn't help but smile. This was going to be a wonderful year to come.