Maura kissed Jane goodbye and playfully swatted the detective's behind on her way out the door. Jane shot Maura a playful smile, bit her lip, and winked at the blonde. Maura, who still in her pajamas, stood in the front door, smiled softly. Jane got into her cruiser and backed down the driveway, waving goodbye to her love.
With a small smile and sigh, Maura shut her front door and walked from the living room into the room where a little bassinet sat holding their newborn son. The new mother looked into the light blue cradle that held the most important person in their life. Ten little fingers, coupled with ten little toes wrapped in the most delicate of blankets handmade by his Nonna.
Maura looked at her reflection in the full-length mirror they had kept in what used to be Jane's bedroom of her house. That situation, obviously, had been changed when they had developed a more intimate relationship a few years ago. Her purple silk pajamas fit just a bit tighter than they had before she was pregnant, leaving the beautiful blonde feeling uncomfortable with herself. She started the malicious routine that had been part of her life since the day they took their son home from the hospital.
First, Maura tugged her silk pants down, revealing her in a pair of Jane's boyshorts. Her hips had widened while she was pregnant, and they just hadn't gone back to where they had used to be. So she no longer felt that the lacy black garments that she usually wore with confidence were flattering at all. She chose Jane's boyshorts because Jane's hips were a little bit wider than Maura's small frame, and they seemed to fit just right. Plus, it was kind of amusing to see Jane's reaction to her lover wearing her things.
She scanned her body, starting at her feet. They had swollen during her last trimester, making her usual footwear nearly unbearable. They had grown a half size - making it so none of her shoes really fit her at all anymore. It wasn't that she minded having to go buy new ones; it's that everything had changed.
Her self-deprecating gaze travelled up to her thighs. She knew the medical probability of having a space between your thighs; Maura only had one because of the intense yoga she practiced daily. But after months of cravings, and the inability to be as active as she used to be Maura's skin (barely) touched at the apex of her legs but it was just enough to make her feel like she was undesirable.
She slowly removed the matching silk top left Maura almost cringing. Where she had before had a flat stomach with hard muscles underneath, there was now a slight bow and little purple marks spiked their way from her underwear to almost her ribs. She had only been postpartum for about 6 weeks, but it still made her feel disgusting. Her hands wove themselves over her stomach so she didn't have to see the damage that had been done to her once beautiful body. Self-conscious tears started to flow from her face while she stared at the body that she had taken so long to perfect.
Suddenly, Maura heard some heavy footsteps bounding up the stairs followed by the door to their son's room flung open. Maura stood slack-jawed at Jane, who looked curiously at Maura as if she had a question on the tip of her tongue.
Realization dawned on the detective, who looked at her lover with every ounce of compassion she could muster. She moved behind Maura's disrobed form and wrapped her arms around the honey blonde from behind, laying her hands on the stomach that Maura's was not-so-discreetly covering up. The raven haired women spoke in reassuring whispers to the doctor who was staring intently at the her feet .
"You're beautiful Maura, positively stunning. Sometimes I stare at you and my mind goes black because look at what you've done for this family? You've given me something that no one can ever give me. The fact that you did that makes you even more ravishing than anyone ever. I will never tire of looking at you, and when the Doctor clears you this week, I plan on showing you just how much I love you. I know that things have 'settled' a bit differently now after you gave birth, but I promise you that it's only magnified how much I love and adore you. Okay?" Jane purred into Maura's ear.
"Thank you Jane. I'm very grateful for that. Why are you home?" Maura asked inquisitively.
"I forgot to kiss our son goodbye" Jane muttered sheepishly, staring at the floor.
Maura knew that eventually with the help of her wonderful detective and her beautiful son, that she could slowly start accepting the changes in her life and body. One day she would feel like the woman she used to be.