Disclaimer: all recognizable characters, places and situations are property of JKR. THANK YOU, Ms. Rowling, for writing them for us.

NB: I am aware that it has been confirmed that Blaise Zabini is male. However, I heard this after having written the first two chapters of this, so too bad. I like Blaise better as a girl anyway.

Enjoy.

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If one day you happen to waltz into the Slytherin common room (which I somehow doubt you will), you will find that I am immediately recognizable. Not only will I probably be sitting alone on my personal sofa, I will most likely be writing in this notebook. This notebook happens to be a nice, rich red, not unlike the colour of blood. Its trimmings are a deep blue and it is a very nice notebook, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, due to its colour scheme it is as un-Slytherin as a notebook may be, being neither green and silver, nor discreetly accented with assorted serpentine designs.

Although this may seem trivial to the average Hufflepuff, it is small things like these that make up the dynamic of the microcosm that is Slytherin. This notebook, then, is one of the reasons I am not quite your average resident of what is generally proclaimed as the evil house.

I am not here, however, to wax poetic about the notebook on whose thick paper my (green) quill is presently scratching. I am here to give you a serpent's outlook on Slytherin life, albeit a cynical, critical, mocking one.

But hey... at least I'm ambitious, right?

I am a Slytherin and my name is Blaise.

............

Looking back on what I've written, my proclamation of a "cynical, critical, mocking commentary" really makes it sound like I'm a deeply bitter, disillusioned little girl who is deeply disgusted with her house. In truth, I rather am... but, as is every other Slytherin, to a certain extent... if not for the same reasons.

...........

My story will start in the common room. Your average Gryffindor would assume that our common room is the location of secret conversations, clandestine deals, and other unlawful activity. In truth, most Slytherins only utilize the common room for completing their homework, mindless group prattle, or blatant self-promotion. The real secrets are told in our dormitories... but we'll get to that later.

So, the common room. It is a long room, with flag-stoned walls, and a relatively high ceiling, considering it is located deep within the dungeons of Hogwarts castle. There are essentially no colours other than green, silver, and black in the whole thing. The walls are flanked with small tables of darkest mahogany wood, with ornate silver lamps with green lampshades resting on each one. The floor is also of stone, covered with fine, green Persian area rugs. The most ornate of these occupies the space in front of the fireplace. It is, in my opinion, a completely gorgeous rug: made of the finest material, it depicts a beautiful grey flying horse, rearing above a hissing golden serpent. The border is made of a pattern of twisting, entwining, flowering vines, and the edges are tasseled. I love staring at the patterns. Also along the walls are located plush futon sofas. My personal sofa looks like a divan. It is two sofas up from the fireplace at the end of the room, located between a silver-framed painting of a green-robed woman with shiny dark hair, who rather looks like me, and a table with a silver candelabra with branches shaped like snakes. I mostly only sit in it to write in this notebook; otherwise I occupy a table near the fire with the other seventh-years.

Speaking of which... it's time to introduce you to my classmates – we'll start with those in my dorm.

First off: Pansy Parkinson. Perhaps the most influential seventh-year girl, although not the prettiest, Pansy is known throughout the school as, well, a bitch. It's true that she's cunning, and she certainly knows who to snub, but ruthless, heartless, she's not. In truth, she is very intelligent, and loyal, once you befriend her. A bit of a slut, maybe, but there are worse things. Certainly the face Pansy Parkinson presents to the rest of the school is very different from the one that appears within the thick walls of Slytherin.

Next, Marissa Moon. Missa is one drop-dead gorgeous girl. Unfortunately, she truly is a huge snob – not about family, but about clothing and looks. Another bright one is Missa, who will insult you to tears faster than you can say, "My haircut isn't ugly!" With her glossy, layered black hair, sparkling dark eyes, and fine-boned frame, Missa and her gorgeous clothes do turn heads. She's rather clumsy with her wand, but is undeniably the most brilliant potion-maker in the seventh year, along with Draco Malfoy, with whom she is always engaged in a fierce rivalry in the subject. She is beautiful and untouchable, having had the same boyfriend for years, but her family is considerably unknown, so the name "Missa Moon" just doesn't command the respect that, say, "Pansy Parkinson" does.

Petra Canaan is a bit of an oddball. She tends to hang at the fringes of Pansy's group of friends. Although she looks like the bright, studious type, she really isn't that good at anything except Charms. She has long, wavy golden hair, but that's about her only remarkable feature. Really, she is a most boring person, with no true friends at all: "her group" is our group, and she only clings to us to try to gain some altitude in the Slytherin hierarchy.

You may have noticed that being in Slytherin is all about influence and power. That's what comes from being in a house of dozens of ambitious people who will do anything for a bit of recognition.

Millicent Bulstrode is fat, ugly, and stupid. Truly, there's not much more to say about dear Millie. Such people are normally unpopular, and Bulstrode is no exception. She craves acceptance, though, and will gladly grant you favours... and it must be said, she makes an excellent bodyguard.

So that's our dormitory, five lovely girls who are not always the most compatible of roommates. But enough about us. Let's move on to those delicious (ha!) boys.

First, foremost, in any list, is perhaps the ultimate Slytherin boy: Draco Malfoy, otherwise known as "Slytherin's most wanted." The name Malfoy alone demands one's attention, and Draco is the quintessential Malfoy - arrogant, elegant, cold, calculating, powerful, very good looking, smart, athletic, cool. He is the ruler of Slytherin, a serpentine king, surveying the realm he knows he owns from his fireside throne. And if you are not worthy, boy, will he abuse his power. He will lie, cheat, curse, hex, jinx, insult, and anything else he deems appropriate (and to him, what isn't?) until you have been annihilated. Do not try to stand up to him. Either you are worthy or you're not, and if you're not, better to just fly under the radar. But no groveling, which he hates. Just defer to him the respect you know he commands. But if you are one of the elite few, you would be hard-pressed to find a better friend, and more able defender. There are few better problem-solvers (or helpers with Potions homework). An added plus: with Draco Malfoy on you side, you can't be touched.

Jeremy Jugson has really risen in Slytherin's ranks since we all started at Hogwarts. He, also, is very good-looking, and a Transfiguration whiz. He is a lot more approachable than Draco, just naturally a nicer person. Not by nature a loud boy, when he speaks, we listen. He is very levelheaded and never does anything without thinking it through and analyzing every angle. His popularity sort of snuck up on us, as his family is not well known at all (there's a rumour that he isn't pureblood, even).

Theodore Nott is one character about whom the rumours of unpleasantness are true. Nott just doesn't have the appeal that Draco and Jeremy have, but his name commands just about as much respect as the Malfoy name. He's not much to look at, tall and weedy, but he is extremely clever (too smart to listen to anyone's bullshit, in fact), and although he doesn't waste his time bullying first-years, everyone knows he's important, and no one crosses him. He and Draco clash tempers fairly often, since they both think highly of themselves and have enormous egos, and in truth, it irks Draco when Nott can come up with a witty remark when he himself cannot.

Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, cast from the same mold as Millicent Bulstrode, are essentially Malfoy's thugs. When the threat of Draco's wrath falls on deaf ears, Vince and Greg can always crack their knuckles; this usually seals the intimidation. Now we are seventh-years, Draco has really grown tired of them; he doesn't need them anymore, now he has risen to the top of the Slytherin pile, so usually now, the only company those two can find is each other.

Rounding out the seventh-year: me, Blaise Zabini. I have chin-length, straight, dark brown hair, which is thick and glossy. My skin is pale and I have fine features. My lips are just thick enough. My eyes are silver-blue and bright. I have been called beautiful; true, I'm no Millicent, but neither am I Missa. I suppose one could say I'm pretty. I'm not a big talker, and am indifferent to whether I am surrounded by people or alone, left to my own devices. I am fairly well known, if only in association with the people I am friends with. I am not a leader, but not a follower. I am not completely satisfied with life, but I am, at least, content with my place, in my house of silver and green.