Cas looked in the window of a café he was passing. He'd been feeling tired lately…it worried him since he hadn't felt tired or exhausted since the Laviathens. He examined his face…Jimmy's face…in the window. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. More like years. A voice in his head whispered. Jimmy still spoke to him once in a while, not often, but just often enough to remind Cas that this body had been a gift, a sacrifice to save a child. Cas decided it would be a good idea to take a look in an actual mirror before discarding the exhaustion as nothing. He stepped into the diner and went straight to the restrooms. No one was in there so Cas locked the door and stepped up to the mirror. That's when he saw it, there were red patches along his hair line, his lips were pealing, his eyes were bloodshot. Cas glanced down at his hands and saw that there were patches where skin had pealed away.
What's happening! Jimmy asked in his head.
"Your body's wearing thin. I've been here too long." Castiel whispered back.
Cas, we had a deal, you'd take me instead of my daughter, don't you dare leave me and go after her! Jimmy was screaming now.
Cas winced, "No, of course not. I wouldn't do that. But I do need to repair you, Jimmy. But to do that, I need a temporary vessel."
What's your plan then? Take another human? Strap another living person to this comet ride you call an existanace! Jimmy snapped.
Cas closed his eyes and transported himself to Sam and Dean. He appeared in a run down motel with the wall paper pealing and water stains on the ceiling. Cas stumbled and had to lean against a chair that was pushed into the table under the window.
"Cas!" Dean took a step towards him.
Castiel looked at the mirror on the wall, he was in even worse shape now. The travel had taken a lot out of him. At this rate, Jimmy's body wouldn't last much longer. "Castiel, what's wrong!" Sam asked.
"It's my vessel, I've been in here too long. He's burning out. I can repair him but it will take time. I need to find a temporary vessel until I can fix him." Cas breathed. He listened intently, he could barely hear Jimmy.
"Okay, where do we find you one?" Dean was already grabbing his jacket, ready to do whatever he could.
"It's complicated, it's in a person's bloodline. Not just anyone can host an angel, they need to be born to it." Cas explained.
"Is that him?" a soft voice whispered.
Dean and Sam whipped around. That was the first Cas had noticed of the girl laid out on the bed. She couldn't be older than twenty or twenty-two. She had dark hair and eyes with sunkissed skin. She looked weak, like something had used her as a chew toy and spat her out to die slowly.
"Is that your angel?" she asked no one in particular.
"Yes, this is Cas." Sam sat down beside her.
"He doesn't look like he can help me." She chuckled softly and started coughing.
"What happened to her?" Cas struggled to move to the bedside but stumbled over and fell to his knees beside her.
"Demon possession. We were able to exercise it but we think it did something more than a normal demon does when it was in there." Dean said.
Cas reached a hand out to hers and felt inside her. "Her soul is shattered. It's in shreds." He said.
"Are you strong enough to do anything?" Dean asked.
"Dean, it's fine. He's your friend. I'm a hunter, it's only fitting that it's a job that kills me." The girl pulled her hand away from Castiel's. "Your angel needs rest and repairs, you can't ask him to use what's left of his strength on me."
Castiel reached out to touch her again. He went deeper this time, searching for something that would help them both. He found it. The traces of angel vessel heritage in her blood. She was born to it. She could hold him. "What is your name?" he asked.
"Rabekah." She answered.
"Rabekah. You have vessel's blood in your family. On your mother's side, to be more exact." Castile informed her. "I am willing to make you a deal, if you're willing to take it."
"Oh no, angel boy, I don't do deals."
"Angel deals aren't like cross road deals, Becca. Nothing bad will happen to you. No souls will be sold." Dean stepped in. "Hear him out."
Rabekah looked back at Cas. She looked so sad. Like she wanted to have hope but had learned better than to hold on to any glimmer of hope that things would be okay for her. "Rabekah. I am in need of a temporary vessel so that I can repair this one." Cas whispered. "If you will loan me your body, I can repair you while I'm inside you and this one will have time to heal in heaven."
"How long?" Rabekah asked.
"Two years at the most. You'll be conscious, you can talk to me, and you'll heal."
Rabekah looked at Sam and Dean. "I'm not ready to die." She whispered. She met Castiel's eyes, "I give you permission."
Castiel pressed his hands to her forehead and passed his essence into her. Jimmy's body fell to the floor but Cas was on his feet and hoisting the man into his arms before the body could hit the floor. Cas looked down at himself. Breasts…that's new. Long hair, less body weight, younger bones. He felt young again. He turned to face the Winchesters.
"Cas?" Dean said.
"I'll be back, Dean. I need to take Jimmy's body to my place in Heaven. I can hide him there and let him heal." Castiel left the boys in the motel. He appeared in Heaven, in the Road House. Jo, Ellen and Ash were there. Cas frequented this Heaven more often than he cared to admit.
Jo was the first to turn around. "Cas?" she whipped a gun out of nowhere and aimed at Castiel. "What did you do to Castiel!" she demanded.
"Calm yourself Joanna. I'm Castiel, I've just borrowed a temporary vessel." Castiel set Jimmy's body down on the bar, "Mine was starting to burn out and I need to leave him in heaven so he can repair. It's a slow process but it will heal him." He explained.
"How do we know you aint lyin'?" Ellen asked and drew an angel blade from her belt.
"Look hard enough. You're in Heaven now, you can see an angel's true face." Castiel projected his image to make it easier on them.
Ellen and Jo lowered their weapons.
"Thank you. Now, I need your help. I need you to keep this body safe and guarded for a while. I'll be back once in a while to check on it and make sure it's healing properly, but I need to hide it here."
"We'll watch it." Ash said. Ellen and Jo looked at him incredulously. "What? This ain't your heaven, I'll let anyone stay here that I please." Ash motioned for Castiel to move the body into the back room, "Take him in their angel face, I'll keep him real safe." Ash popped open another beer and downed it while Castiel lay Jimmy's body on a cot in the back room.
"Thank you, Ash. I'll be back to check in." Castiel nodded at Jo and Ellen and vanished, returning to Sam and Dean.
It took Dean a long time to get used to seeing Cas in Rabekah's body. He wasn't even sure what to call Cas anymore, he, she, him, her, Castiel, Cas, Cassie? Dean settled on Cassie since it seemed to fit Castiel's new threads. "Cassie? You've never called me that in our entire friendship, Dean." Castiel commented one day.
"No, but it feels weird calling you Cas when you don't look like Cas." Dean shrugged and took a sip of his beer, "So, Cassie it is until you've got Jimmy's meat suit back on you." Dean smiled at the confused look on Castiel's face.
Over the next year, Dean noticed that Castiel wasn't completely himself—herself. He'd eat once in a while, and look tired and have to sit down while he talked to Sam and Dean. He even changed clothes a few times. Cas didn't mention anything about it so Dean decided it wasn't anything to ask questions about.
Castiel returned to heaven after one year of using Rabekah's body to check on Jimmy's. Ash had stepped out for a while to give Cas and his vessel some privacy to work on the healing. Castiel entered the back room and found Jimmy sitting up. He looked better than the last time Castiel had visited. That time, he hadn't even been conscious.
"Castiel! What are you doing? You took another body! That wasn't the deal. You were supposed to take mine so that no one else would have to do it!" Jimmy tried to stand but he had to sit down again.
"Don't worry about it, Jimmy. She's strong. And I'm taking a life by using her, she was dying and I'm healing her while you're resting." Castiel pulled a chair over to sit beside Jimmy. "She's still awake in here, she's listening to everything right now. She's resting." Castiel smiled. He'd seen this vessel smile, it was quite dazzling. She was radiant. "Would you like to speak with her?" he asked.
Jimmy hesitated for a moment before nodding. Castiel bowed his head and slipped away to let Rabekah have some time in her own body.
Rabekah opened her eyes and saw Castiel's vessel sitting across from her. "Jimmy?" she whispered before nearly falling over. Jimmy shot an arm out to catch her and pulled her against him.
"Hey, are you alright? Is he being good to you?" he asked and stroked her hair.
"What? Yes, he's being good. I remember how you looked when I first saw you two, you know. You looked terrible. You were so handsome, but you looked about five minutes away from death. It made me sad to think that such a handsome face would be taken away from the world forever, even if an angel was wearing it." Rabekah let a soft smile play on her lips. "He's healing me, Jimmy. I can feel my soul almost mended." She reached a hand out and stroked Jimmy's face, "But you've still got some maintenance work to get through, handsome." She whispered, "I hope to see a lot more of you once Castiel is able to fix you. Maybe he'll even let us talk once in a while."
"Yeah, maybe." Jimmy smiled back at her. He hadn't found anyone so beautiful since his wife.
"Okay, Jimmy. I've got to go. I'm really tired. I'll see you in a year, okay?"
"Okay. Good night, Rabekah." Jimmy smiled at her before she closed her eyes and Castiel opened them.
Castiel sat up and pulled away from Jimmy's arms. "How does she seem?" Castiel asked.
"Stronger than I expected, I'm not gonna lie." Jimmy sat back in his cot.
"Good. I'm glad. You still have some healing to do. I'll be back soon to check on you again." Castiel stood and left, calling Ash back to keep an eye on Jimmy before returning to the last hotel Castiel had left Sam and Dean at.
Castile appeared in the bathroom and someone was in the shower. "Dean?" Castiel said.
"Son of a bitch!" Dean stuck his head out from the shower. "Cassie, we talked about this! Personal space!"
"Oh, sorry." Castiel stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door. Cas stood there a moment, the water sounded inviting and the steam had felt warm…that was new. Castile glanced down at the current t-shirt and jeans he was wearing.
A change wouldn't hurt, angel boy. Rabekah said.
Castile wasn't sure what to get. The few times Rabekah had asked for a change of clothes a girl had always been around to tell him what to buy. Either Meg or some girl that Sam and Dean had just saved. Now, he was left to his own devices.
Castiel could feel Rabekah shake her head and chuckle. A vision of an orange camisole with blue jeans and a brown coat and boots popped into his head. He imagined them and they appeared folded neatly on the bed. I've got an angel walking around in my body. An angel who doesn't feel pain, I'm using that to my advantage and living in boots for the next year. Rabekah laughed.
Castiel couldn't help but smile. He liked having her whisper to him when she had the strength.
The bathroom door opened and Dean stepped out, running a towel over his head. Castiel pushed past him and closed the bathroom door behind him.
Dean spun to watch Castiel walk into the bathroom. When the water turned on and Dean was sure he/she was in, he opened the door. "Cassie…what are you doing?"
"Showering. I thought that was obvious." She answered.
"Yeah, but…you never shower. You don't need to." Dean said.
"I've been finding myself doing a lot of things I don't need to lately, Dean. I've been eating at least once a month, napping, wearing warm sweaters…I've even felt more…physical hungers."
"Whoa, you mean like…sex?" Dean asked.
"Yes. I think these are Rabekah's desires. She's stronger than normal vessels. I think being a hunter has given her extra strength. She knows how possession works and how to get her own wants known."
Dean nodded. "It makes sense. She misses some stuff about being human so she makes you do them or plants the desire to do them in your head." Dean's head snapped up to the curtain, "Cassie, have you had sex!"
"No, of course not! I think she knows that's crossing a line for me. She hasn't expressed that desire more than once or twice." Castiel said and turned off the water.
Dean nodded, "Well, Rabekah always was one for throwing tantrums when she didn't get her way. It's just as well that you give in to her more reasonable desires once in a while."
The curtain pulled back and Dean looked up. Castiel/Rabekah stood there nude, looking at him and ringing out her hair. "I agree, if I let them go too long she gets restless and doesn't let me focus."
"CAS!" Dean spun around, "Damnit, Castiel, what are you doing!"
"What? I know you do not see Rabekah in that way, I know she does not see you in that way. I did not think this would be an issue. I need to get out of the shower and you have remained in here for the entirety of my shower talking to me. I thought it rude to send you away in the middle of a conversation. Besides, you see her as a kid sister, why would this make you uncomfortable if there is no lust?"
"Why does it—because I think of her like my kid sister! Brothers aren't supposed to see their sisters like this!" Dean got up and slammed the door behind him. "What the hell!" he huffed and poured himself a whiskey.
After a few minutes, the bathroom door opened and Castiel stepped out. She was wearing a trench coat similar to the one he use to wear. He looked something like his old self. "Sorry, Dean. Male and female interaction is still a foreign concept to me."
"It's cool, man. Just, keep it in mind for next time. Unless you're planning to get laid, don't walk around naked." Dean chuckled. He paused, realizing what he'd just suggested but he was pleased to see the suggestion was lost on his angel.
"Guys!" Sam burst through the door, "We've got a case a few towns over. It might be a wendigo."
Dean glanced at Castiel and saw a smile slide onto her face, the same smile Rabekah would have when she was going to work a job and the same smile Cas would get when Dean had made him proud, "What are we waiting for?" she asked. She pushed past Sam and started walking towards the Impala, "Talk to me, Sammy, how many victims?"
Sam followed her, raddling off facts and figures. Dean smiled to himself. Maybe there was more to Rabekah than he'd ever noticed before. He'd certainly seen more of her than he ever had before. Or was it Castiel that he was seeing now in his friend's face? Castiel's excitement at working a job. Or Rabekah's old smile and personality. Something had caught his attention now, and he wanted desperately to find out what.