Ok, the first story in my Dane Cook/Orgy XIII mixtures. Axel and Demyx see that Roxas needs a bit of consoling after a...terrifying nightmare.
Dislaimer: Numbers I-XIII belong to the creator of Kingdom Hearts. Xamjie and Lillix belong to friends, and Shi is mine.
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He was just sitting there, in a corner, hugging his knees
He was just sitting there, in a corner, hugging his knees.
"Do you think something's wrong with him?" Axel asked. He and Demyx were standing at the entrance to Roxas' room, looking at the figure huddled in the corner.
"I don't know, but the poor kid looks traumatized." Demyx said. The Flurry of Dancing Flames and the Melodious Nocturne looked at each other, and then they decided it would be best if they checked on Roxas.
"Hey, Roxas, buddy, you ok?" Axel asked. His tone was the same kind that someone would use when talking to a lost little kid. Roxas didn't notice the tone his friend was using. He just stared ahead of him; his eyes were fixed on some invisible point on the wall. Slowly, he shook his head. Demyx and Axel exchanged another look; they were starting to get worried now.
"Did Saix get mad again?" Demyx copied Axel's tone.
Once again, he slowly shook his head.
"Then what's wrong? You can tell us." Axel said.
Roxas shook his head again, but this time it was faster and more insistent.
"What? Are you afraid we'll laugh?" Demyx asked.
Roxas nodded.
"We won't laugh. We're your buddies." Axel told him.
"I had a nightmare. Roxas said.
"Now, why would we laugh at that?" Demyx asked.
"It was about...the Kool-aid man." the last few words escaped his mouth in a horrified whisper. Demyx and Axel looked at each other, they began to smile.
The smiles turned into chuckles.
The chuckles turned into the two laughing their heads off.
"I knew it! I knew you would laugh!" Roxas exclaimed. "Demyx, you're an asshole! And-"
"Ha! You're and asshole!" Axel started laughing at Demyx now.
"I wasn't done." Roxas said. "You're an Axe-hole!" Now Demyx started laughing at Axel.
"Alright! Alright! Enough laughing!" Axel said. "You're hurting the kid's feelings!"
"So, exactly what was the dream about?" Demyx asked once all the laughter had died down.
"Well..."
"Come on. We promise we won't-"
"Laugh?" Roxas interrupted Axel. This caused all three of them to start laughing for a little bit longer.
"Just tell us what happened." Axel said. "We both rank higher than you, so you have to listen to us."
Roxas sighed. Everybody ranked higher than him except Xamjie, Lillix and Shi, but they still ordered him around.
"Well..." Roxas said. "The dream started with a party that Xamjie and Lillix decided to throw."
"Yay!" Xamjie and Lillix exclaimed as they jumped up and down in excitement. "Partypartyparty!"CRASH!
"You guys have parties here?" Shi asked.
"Yeah," Demyx said. "We've actually had a few. Why?"
"Well, some members just don't seem like party people."
"You mean like Saix, Xaldin, Lexaeus, or Vexen?" Roxas asked. "They're forced to go. Xemnas thinks parties are a good way for us to bond as an organization."
So, later, everyone was at the party when suddenly...
THIS HUGE BOWL OF PUNCH BURSTS THROUGH THE WALL...And he was wearing...tights?!
"OH YEAH!" he screamed.
"YAY!" Xamjie and Lillix screamed...everyone else just stared. Then, the Kool-aid man poured himself into sixteen cups. Xamjie and Lillix were the only ones who actually drank theirs.
"What are you two doing?!" Roxas exclaimed. "DEBRIS FELL IN THAT!"
Then, the Kool-aid man tried to offer Xemnas his cup. The Superior stared at the huge bowl of punch for a few seconds before slapping it away.
"No!" he said. "I don't want you to give me juice! I want you to fix that wall!"
"Idiot." Larxene said to the giant, drink-filled bowl.
"Yeah, coming through a wall is real cool." Xigbar said sarcastically. "USING THE FRONT DOOR IS COOL!"
The Kool-aid man tried to calm Xemnas down by patting his back, but Xemnas just slapped his hand away.
"Don't touch me, you drink!" he exclaimed. "You are sweating…or condensating. I will kick you in the tights if you touch me, and you will go down...you're very top heavy!"
"Oh yeah!"
"Oh no!" Axel said.
"Naughty, naughty Kool-aid." Demyx said, shaking his finger at Kool-aid man.
"Oh yeah."
"No." Xaldin said.
"Oh yeah."
"No." Saix said.
"...That's what scared you?" Axel asked.
"Yeah." Roxas said.
"That?" Demyx asked.
"Yes."
"What was so scary about it?" Axel asked.
"A bowl of Kool-aid broke through the wall! It's unnatural! Am I the only one who thinks that?!" Roxas asked.
"...Pretty much. We've seen the commercials." Demyx asked.
"You just need help." Axel said.