The Quinn Fabray Blues
Pairs: Quinn Fabray; Rachel Berry
Gender: Drabble, Angst
Rating: K+
Summary: Quinn's point of view in scenes of the episodes "2x21 - Funeral", "3x01 - The Purple Piano Project", "3x11 - Michael", "3x14 - On My Way" and "3x22 - Goodbye"
A/N: English is not my mother language, sorry for any mistake. Read & review :)
"Because of Rachel? Because you still love her?", she asks pulling her hand away from his' in disbelief. It's not fair. Not right. After all she's done, he's leaving her for Rachel. She passes her hand through her hair, frustrated. Rachel. From all people, he just had to choose her. He's talking and she forces her gaze to meet his face in order to focus on his words, and her breath becomes heavier when the meaning of them starts to gather into her brain. "But you do with her?", she asks cautiously with an expectant look, even though she already knows the answer, and his silence is only a confirmation. "No.", she says shaking her head. She won't let it happens. She can't. She kind of sighs, kind of laughs. "We are not breaking up. I can handle your confusion with Rachel u-until you get over it. We're gonna stay together and next year we'll be prom king and queen and…", he interrupts her in an outburst and she sighs in a mix of irritation and light despair. Why he won't listen? He can't go back to Rachel. That girl has a whole life waiting for her and if he goes with her, he's going to ruin everything. She just knows he will. She knows how he is and she sees how Rachel gets around him. It's not okay. They're both so frustrating. A single tear falls down her face before she can hold it any longer. She looks up at him. "Are you happy now? Is this me feeling enough for you?", she says with a hint of anger. Oh if he only knew… "Just, just don't touch me!", she raises her voice against him as he tries to reach out to comfort her. She gets out of the car, slamming the door and runs away. She's angry and frustrated. Nothing was supposed to be this way.
She is lighting up a cigarette when she hears her voice calling her. She tries to stay cool, turning around slowly to face the tiny brunette, smiling at a comment made by Ronnie, but the worried tone on the singer's voice and the look on her face make the smile fade away. She doesn't want to hear what she's saying. She's done listening; especially to her. "I'm not coming back to glee club.", she cuts off, impatiently. But the other one keeps talking, on a contained excited kind of way that only her could pull off. She frowns slightly at how apprehensive the girl is around her, like she was scared she was going to attack any minute. Does she look so frightening? Sheila retorts in a rude way that makes the diva gives a shy smile and she laughs absently to the skank as if it was an inside joke. It kind of was. She always laughed at herself about the little grimaces of Rachel Berry, first out of disdain but then… Anyway, the girl is talking again, so she forces her gaze to meet her, with a shadow of a smile still dancing on her lips. Now is the so called "Mob" that is talking and she looks away, taking a breath and fighting the urge to turn around and punch the girl; who she thinks she is, anyway? She turns her head to the brunette once again with a displeasured expression taking over her face as she hears what's being said. She doesn't want to listen, so why is it so hard to ignore? She looks at the cigarette still playing in her fingers as if that could block all the words. But soon her gaze is drawn into brown eyes and she clenches her jaw with doubt already starting to pound in her head. Why did she have to come here and mess with her mind? It's not fair. It could never be fair when it comes to this. She swallows dryly. She said she would never go back. She swore to herself that. The smaller girl throws her one last reassurance look before making her way out of the bleachers. She licks her lips cautiously watching the other go without knowing that, in fact, she was the major reason why she couldn't go back, and also why she wanted so much.
She's putting lipstick on when the smaller girl walks in to talk to her with a worried and cautious expression on her face, so she turns her attention to the brunette. "Holy crap, are you pregnant?", she blurts out without thinking. What else an "adult problem" could be, right? But the other denies. "You're right, I'm sorry. Yes, I can… keep a secret.", she assures, wondering what was so important to leave the girl in such an alert state. And the answer comes with a shock, leaving her mouth gaping and her eyes wide; she never thought his stupidity would go this far; it takes a moment before she can form words again. "What did you say?", she asks with an expectant look. "Well, you… you can't.", she says as if stating the obvious. She reaches for her purse on the sink, taking the blessed letter she had gotten this morning and listens as she finishes talking about him, nodding lightly and throwing a sad look down as the words "… he's the one, I know it." come out of her lips. And then she gives her the letter. "My ticket out of here. I got into Yale. Early admissions.", she answers with a large smile. "Turns out my essay about overcoming adversities while maintaining a straight A average during a teen pregnancy really turned on the admissions board." The brunette returns her smile and reaches for a tight hug. "I'm sure you'll get your NYADA one soon.", she reminds as they broke off, watching as the girl tries to sound nonchalant about it. "My point being is that I've dated Finn, Puck, Sam… Even thought I loved some of them. But by the time the snow falls in New Haven next winter…", she shakes her head vigorously. "I won't know why." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "I'm all for making the most of the next few months.", she tries to sound convincing as she speaks. "But I'd hate the idea of dragging an anchor from my past into the bright lights of my future. Rachel, you have an amazing life ahead of you. As hard as it may be, if you want everything you've ever dreamed of… you're gonna have to break up with him.", that last part comes out a little more hopeful than she expected and she watches as a hurt expression takes over the smaller girl's face. "Look, you wanted straight and thoughtful", she says a little impatient. "I guess at one point it made sense to love somebody for your whole life, but it doesn't anymore. Women are finding themselves in their 30's now, every magazine says it, we hardly know what we're gonna want in 15 years." Why it is so hard for her to see that this was a bad idea? It's plain to see that Finn doesn't really love her; this could only end badly. She looks down, frustrated by the other's resistance. "Look, Rachel…", she pauses, thinking of the nicest way to say it. "You and Finn are a lovely couple. But if you really wanna be happy, you're gonna have to say goodbye." It was true. At least, it was the only way she could find for herself. With one last look into those brown eyes, she grabs her bag and walks away.
She passes by Blaine and Kurt in her Cheerios uniform with a bright smile on her face. Everything was feeling right. Except one thing, she thinks spotting the girl walking ahead in the corridor. "Hey, how do I look?", she asks, getting her attention. "Couch Sylvester gave it to me early and I couldn't resist." She catches a hint of resentment on the other's response that makes her smile fade as she gathers the courage to say what she needed to say. "When you were singing that song, you were singing it… to Finn, and only Finn. Right?", it's more an affirmation than a real question, but she asks anyway, just to be sure before saying anything else. "He really does make you so happy.", she states feeling her heart sink with the realization. "I wanna support you Rachel, and Finn, and come to the wedding if it's not too late.", she says, hesitant, growing a fragile smile by seeing the bolt of joy in the little diva's expression as she rushes to hug her. And with a bittersweet sensation she realizes that she never wants to let go, although she has to.
She walks into the bathroom where the brunette is, with a grin on her lips and hiding her hands behind her back. "This freshman just gave me a hug and told me to never change.", she starts, leaning on the sink beside the other girl. "Poor thing. Is too young to realize that change can be so good. Think… if we hadn't change we would never been friends." She gives a smile before shifting position and finally showing what she had hidden in her hands. "Here", she extends the envelope to her. "A metro north pass from New York to New Haven. I got one for me into New York. Everybody keeps talking about staying in touch and… I wanna make sure that we do.", she explains with a hopeful look. She's done fighting it. She's done ignoring it. She is now accepting it. She needs that girl in her life, even if not in the way she wanted… They hug, and for the first time, she feels okay with this.