Christmas
By Giesbrecht
The November after the formation of SG-1, Captain Samantha Carter was disappointed to find out that she wasn't going to get Christmas off. Not that it was the first time, but it looked like the next time she could take time off would be the first weekend in January. In past years she'd spent Christmas with her dad, but the first weekend in January he was getting together with some old military buddies, and they couldn't change their plans.
Her friend and colleague Dr. Daniel Jackson noticed her disappointment and asked what was up. When she explained the situation, he reflected that she should feel lucky; none of the rest of them had family to speak of, or could go back to.
Sam felt ashamed, but it also gave her an idea. Why not have their own Christmas? She and Daniel planned it out, and presented the idea to Teal'c and Jack. They didn't take too much convincing. Teal'c was only marginally aware of the Tau'ri tradition of Christmas, but none of them had anything better to do.
So on the first weekend of January, 1998, SG-1 met at Sam's house for Christmas. Jack brought beer, Daniel brought chips, and Sam provided a couple of frozen pizzas and some cookies. They sat around, talked and ate, sang carols (badly), exchanged gifts, and watched a Christmas movie. (Miracle on 34th Street at Sam's insistence: Jack wanted to watch A Christmas Story, but Daniel pointed out that Teal'c wouldn't get any of it. Thus ensued an argument about what Teal'c would get, which Teal'c contributed to by declaring that the Tau'ri were weird enough as it was.) Some time around 11pm, Sam realized that Daniel had fallen asleep in his chair. She suggested going home, but Jack pointed out (wisely) that those who had to drive were too drunk and/or too tired to do so. They decided to leave Daniel alone, while Jack took the guest bed and Teal'c requested a candle to kel-no-reem by.
In the morning, they had leftover pizza, orange juice, cold cereal, and some cinnamon rolls Sam found in her freezer. Everyone went home sometime before noon. Though Sam still missed her dad, she enjoyed the chance to get to know her colleagues in a situation that wasn't life-threatening.
The next year, they also didn't get Christmas off. As Jacob Carter was now a member of the Tok'ra, and Sam's brother's family had other plans, she was again without her usual familial celebration. Fortunately, before she even said anything, Jack announced that they were all welcome to crash at his place.
Just before New Year's, SG-1 met at Jack's house for Christmas. Drink was provided. Daniel brought chips and Sam brought cookies and they ordered out for pizza. They sat around, talked and ate, sang carols (badly), watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and exchanged gifts. Which in Teal'c's case was entirely headgear. There was much ribbing throughout the night pertaining to Jack's total lack of Christmas decorations. Daniel brought "Phase Ten", a card game none of the others had heard of but quickly caught on to. Jack and Daniel were tied for much of the game, until Sam came up from behind and Daniel had too many bad hands in a row, but then the whole thing got lost in an argument over whether a poker face should really be called a poker face. Which is something you really don't want to do when you're all slightly drunk and one of your company has a doctorate in philology.
A little after 11pm, Daniel fell asleep on the couch. Sam was offered the guest bed, while Teal'c took a candle to kel-no-reem by. In the morning they had eggs, grapefruit, and milk, and everyone went home before noon.
By the third year, no one was surprised when SG-1 got assigned to explore a completely uninhabited and ultimately boring planet right on Christmas Day. The minute they got time off, two weeks later, Daniel volunteered his apartment.
So at the beginning of the year 2000, SG-1 met at Daniel's place for Christmas. Which may or may not have been a good idea, given that after a few beers, Jack challenged Teal'c to a duel with one of Daniel's antique swords. Fortunately, the pizza arrived about the same time, possibly saving Daniel several thousand dollars in property damage. They settled down to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, which was interrupted by a series of very bad and increasingly inappropriate jokes about halfway through. Phase Ten was played again, this time Teal'c narrowly beating out Sam in the last phase. They sat around, talked and ate, sang carols (badly), and exchanged gifts. Jack was exasperated to receive all manner of Christmas decorations to make up for his woeful lack. Teal'c was deeply pleased by the camera everyone else pitched in to buy. Daniel was immediately lost in an obscure anthropological tome Sam had managed to dig up. And Sam was rendered speechless by a fine Chulakian necklace that the men had conspired to bring through the Gate.
At 11pm, Daniel had fallen asleep. Jack kept him company on the floor, while Sam took the bedroom and Teal'c found a candle to kel-no-reem by. In the morning Jack pestered Daniel as to why alcohol could put him out so thoroughly, and swore to ply him with coffee next year. Sam brought sticky buns for breakfast.
The fourth Christmas was the very first one SG-1 got off. They were very surprised. But when Mark Carter asked what Sam was doing that day, with hints of a Christmas ham and time with her nephews, Sam apologized and turned him down, as she had her own party to host.
So on the last Christmas Day of the millennium (a fact which Jack sharply disputed), SG-1 met at Sam's house. This time she made some attempt at a more normal Christmas dinner, which was augmented by way too many cookies, courtesy of Dr. Frasier and Cassandra's experimentation a week earlier. Jack, having caught on, surprised them all with a couple bottles of wine instead of the usual beer. Afterward they sat around and talked, munched on leftovers, sang carols (badly), and watched "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire." They tried playing "Phase Ten" again, but since wine is stronger than beer, they gave up and exchanged gifts instead. Daniel was delighted by an impressive assortment of gourmet coffee beans, while Teal'c appreciated the additions to his DVD library, and Sam laughed at the Major Matt Mason doll that had been repainted with SGC insignia. It was a good thing they waited to present Jack with the state-of-the-art fishing pole, because he got utterly distracted by it, and was useless for any conversation that didn't include fishing for about twenty minutes.
Once it had been discovered that Daniel had fallen asleep again (despite Jack's best efforts with the coffee), they broke up for the night. In the morning they had orange juice and sticky buns. Some time after everyone had gone home, Sam discovered a half-eaten candy cane stuck to her living room ceiling, with no idea how it could have gotten there.
The fifth year the order of the galaxy resumed and SG-1 did not get Christmas off. Again, their Christmas mission was a boring one, punctuated only by Sam twisting her ankle and having to be replaced by other SGC scientists just when they found some alien technology. What a twisted ankle had to do with figuring out alien technology, she had no idea. She felt a little better when the alien device turned out to be no more than a kind of sonic insecticide.
So in the first week of January, 2002, SG-1 met at Jack's house again for Christmas. Daniel brought chips and Teal'c brought a salad, and Sam brought dessert. They sat around, talked and ate, sang carols (badly), and watched The Nightmare Before Christmas. Jack and Daniel made a concerted effort to end the tradition of carol-singing, as their (lack of) talent wasn't fit for human consumption and steadily getting worse by the year, but Teal'c replied with the importance of ritual in culture in a way that put the argument to rest—at least temporarily. They played "Catchphrase", which Sam had got from her brother, but it was soon decided that the electronic timer was way too loud and irritating to be of any practical use, so Daniel challenged Teal'c to chess, using Jack's Simpsons chess set Sam had just given him, while Sam and Jack resorted to blackjack.
Sam woke up the next morning in the guest bed and realized she'd fallen asleep even before Daniel. He was undisturbed in the living room. During breakfast (which was cold cereal, coffee, and sticky buns) Sam attempted to figure out exactly how she ended up in the guest bed, but Teal'c and Jack pretended to know nothing about it. They all went home before noon.
The sixth Christmas since the formation of SG-1 did not come the way it usually did. Daniel was gone. Still, they took the nearest day to Christmas that they could to get together.
SG-1 showed up at Sam's early in the new year. Jack brought beer and they ordered out for pizza. They sat around, talked and ate, sang a carol or two (badly), watched Frosty the Snowman, and exchanged gifts. Everyone was surprised by the photo albums Teal'c gave them, especially since they couldn't remember a lot of the pictures being taken. Jack commented on the lack of captions, but somehow that seemed appropriate coming from Teal'c. Then they played "Phase Ten", at which Jonas proved adept, but not adept enough to beat Sam. Throughout the evening, Jonas kept asking about those Christmas traditions he hadn't had time to research before, which led to a rather ludicrous discussion of the legend of the fruitcake, which Jonas almost believed until Sam couldn't take it anymore and started giggling. Which led to Jack insinuating that they better not let the enemy find out that fruitcake was a reliable way to make Sam talk. To which Sam replied, at least she didn't make a habit of getting captured.
Though the night proved cheerful, there was still a taste of melancholy, especially when it hit 11:30pm and everyone was still awake. In the morning, Sam made omlettes.
The seventh Christmas snuck up on everyone without their realizing it. Sam happened to catch a glimpse of the New Year's party in New York while flipping through channels and suddenly realized they hadn't even planned anything. When they got a chance, Jack invited everyone to his place for Christmas. They did their best to get Jonas through the gate for the occassion, but it was too short a notice, what with his big, important new job in Kelowna. He sent gifts, though.
When SG-1 met up at Jack's place, Sam realized that it was just as weird as the year before, now that Daniel was back--and Jonas was gone. They ordered out for pizza and augmented the meal with whatever snack-food anybody knew how to make. They sat around, talked and ate, sang carols (badly), and watched It's a Wonderful Life, which caused Daniel to give his friends funny looks they studiously ignored. They played "Phase Ten", in which Sam beat everybody with such efficiency that she was accused of stacking the deck. Jack challenged Daniel to chess in an attempt to assuage his wounded pride, but got trounced again and blamed it on beer. There was some playful ribbing when it was discovered that Sam and Daniel had given each other leather jackets of similar design, which got even worse when Teal'c pointed out that he and Jack had them, too. So then they got a picture taken of everybody half drunk and wearing leather, which led to Sam and Teal'c telling the story of Steveston, OR, and more specifically the fun of getting Jonas to fit in. At which point Jack revealed that he liked dipping his onion rings in milkshakes, and thought the rest of them nuts for not trying it. They were just about to make a midnight raid on a Burger King to prove Jack's point when it was discovered that Daniel had fallen asleep.
In the morning it was resolved that next year they should plan well enough in advance to get Jonas there. Breakfast was orange juice and sticky buns. There was some confusion as to whose leather jacket was whose, but eventually they sorted it out and went home.
The next year, a newly General'd Jack so arranged the schedules of the SGC that not only did SG-1 get Christmas off, but a weeklong interplanetary ambassadorial council was scheduled so that the Langaran representative—Jonas—got to spend the holiday on Earth.
They had it at Daniel's house, which was where Jonas was staying. It was a wild and woolly affair, encouraged by the Chulakian stew Teal'c brought, much of which was unidentifiable but somehow tasted way better than anybody expected. They topped it off with the Langaran whiskey that was Jonas' gift to Jack that he insisted he couldn't keep for himself. They ate and drank and talked and sang carols (badly) and watched The Muppet Christmas Carol, which became a discussion about whether or not Gonzo was, in fact, a Furling. Very soon, Gonzo had competition in the form of ALF, the Sesame Street "yip-yip" aliens, and the Ewoks. There was much debate over whether Ewoks could be true candidates, due to their lack of technology. Which saw Daniel bringing up the Nox and Teal'c pointing out that the Ewoks were capable of taking out Imperial troops, and therefore would be superior warriors and tacticians. Then the whole thing spun out of control into speculation that it was, in fact, the Ewoks who built the second Death Star, manning it in costumes it took two of them to fill, and that at the critical moment, they would blow it up from the inside and destroy the Emperor themselves, and that the arrival of the Rebellion actually ruined their plans. After the whole idea was presented, it was decided by unanimous vote that they were all too drunk to continue and should probably get some sleep. Daniel was especially pleased at being able to choose his place of rest this time around.
The next morning was a late one, and the sticky-bun breakfast was really more like lunch.
The ninth annual SG-1 Christmas party was another one that almost didn't happen, but this time it wasn't for lack of planning. Sam almost got called away to a lecture on the East Coast, Daniel and Teal'c nearly got stranded on a planet, and Cam bowed out when he realized that if he missed Christmas with his relatives, they'd never forgive him. Add to that a diplomatic crisis on Langara and the inflexibility of the Pentagon schedule, and there were all of three people at Sam's house that year.
So Sam ordered pizza and Daniel brought chips and Teal'c brought a cake, and in the absence of Jack there wasn't any beer. This was a bit of surprise to everyone, and some minor panic over how things would go without it, but then Sam and Daniel started debating over whether any two snowflakes really could be alike, given all the planets they had ever been to. Teal'c observed, as they were drawing breath, that the universe was just as it should be. So they munched on pizza and watched The Santa Clause and sang carols (badly) and exchanged gifts. Sam and Teal'c weren't sure what to say when Daniel's gift from Jack turned out to be two MIA certificates and a death certificate from his past experiences: signed, dated, matted, and framed, with a little note saying "Thought you should start a collection". But Daniel just looked at them and said the Complete Idiot's Guide to Diplomacy he'd got Jack was too good for him. Then they played "Crack the Case," which Sam had got from her brother, but nobody did very well, as they kept coming up with scenarios that involved the Goa'uld, the Ancients, the Asgard, or all three together. When Teal'c yawned in the middle of a sentence—a first for him as far as anyone knew—they decided to give it up and go to bed.
The next morning, Sam realized she had completely forgotten to buy any kind of breakfast food, so they went to a Denny's where, to their complete surprise, Cam was already having breakfast, having just got in. They sat and talked together almost to lunch.
In his second year with SG-1 (and the tenth year that they celebrated Christmas), Cam resolved not to be left out of the festivities, and therefore engineered a devious plan involving several kinds of leave and an incident with a cell phone and thus was able to visit his own family for Christmas and make it back in time to Colorado Springs to host his own party.
Sam brought cookies and Daniel brought pizza and Teal'c brought hors d'oeurves and Vala produced several bottles of champagne that she refused to explain (but which were probably bought at the grocery store, no matter what kind of hints she dropped). They'd only just got settled in to watch Elf when, to their complete surprise, Jack showed up. Apparently on the way back from a diplomatic visit to the government of China, he'd conspired with his pilot to force a landing in Colorado Springs and had subsequently made for the SGC. In spite of the now-lively crowd that occupied Cam's apartment, though, the atmosphere was subdued. It seemed absurd to be celebrating a simple Earth holiday when the galaxy was being conquered by the Ori. Not to mention that Vala was completely weirded-out by the Christmas story. And no one had heard anything from Jonas for months.
It was a white Christmas that year, so Cam, in an attempt to lighten things, persuaded and cajoled and otherwise coerced his teammates into a snowball fight on the apartment building grounds. After a slow start it got positively vicious, with two teams pummelling each other from behind walls and bushes. Then Teal'c and Vala teamed up to shove snow down the others' backs. When it got dark, they went inside again for coffee and cocoa, and they sang carols (badly) and exchanged gifts and played "Phase Ten" (Sam beat everybody again). When it hit midnight, nobody had fallen asleep yet. In fact, it wasn't until the three-way argument at 1am between Cam, Sam, and Jack over who got Cam's bed (each insisting another take it) that Daniel finally dozed off. Eventually, Jack was forced into taking Cam's bed, while Cam slept on the floor, Sam took the recliner, Teal'c took the living room floor, and Vala slept on the couch with Daniel's lap for a pillow.
In the morning, Cam produced a big plate of sticky buns, courtesy of his mother, as Daniel got back at Vala by switching out his lap for a damp towel, which gave her a rude awakening. They ended up staying well past lunch, laughing and talking. After everyone went home, Sam reflected that while Christmas with SG-1 had originally started as a last resort, it was now the only kind of Christmas she really wanted to have.