So... I'm Light Burst. I don't want to spend TOO much time on this introduction, so I'll make it quick. I'm a (not so) ordinary pegasus who lives in PonyVille, where Twilight Sparkle, the newest princess in Equestria, lived before she was officially coronated about a year ago (And I think she's the princess of magic or friendchips or whatever it was she is so amazingly talented at. Oh, wait, that would make her the princess of books. Or not. DON'T JUDGE ME.)

Okay, so before I get TOO off topic, let's start the story of me living my life of somewhat wacky (or just plain strange) adventures.

I awoke to the sound of birds chirping and feeling relaxed and refreshed. No, just kidding, it's Monday. I woke up to an irritating alarm clock and I was still half-asleep to where my eyes were crusted over. Yeah. Every Monday ever.

So, my morning routine was the same. Except it was Monday, so I dozed off a few times during every part of it. First thing to do on Mondays? Go down stairs and guzzle some hot sauce. Which still fails to wake me up because I'm pretty much tongue-dead (is that even a thing?) in the morning. That's when my taste-buds are all like, "Yeah, cool, drink scorching red fluids, I'll just sit here and watch your teeth disintegrate slowly."

Most ponies have active and exciting morning routines. Well, I don't. I usually just roll back under my covers and sleep for the rest of the day. But not today, of course. It's only the best of days! Monday! (*sarcasm sarcasm*) No, but seriously. I've got stuff to do. First, I have to help my friend Gear Dust fix a thermostat (for whatever reason), help my OTHER friend Kill Switch practice his Arnold Scwarzenneger voice (because that's some "human" thing from lore who has some really iconic voice or something), and THEN help my OTHER-OTHER friend Fire Starter do whatever he does for fun. Did I mention my friends need help with things they SHOULDN'T need help with at all?

So, I did what I planned to do, just for not as long as I wanted to. I slept for about 3 and a half hours (instead of all day), but APPARENTLY that's too long for Gear Dust. Because for whatever reason, he came a-knocking at my door, sure enough. I don't get why he needs help with a thermostat at 9:30 in the morning.

"Have you been oversleeping again, Light?" He asked, somewhat glaring at me, as I sleepily swung open the door. "Because it's really cold at my house and it's Monday and I want to get that thermostat fixed."

"Exactly. It's Monday. Oh, and it's not oversleeping, Gear. It's called hibernating. Animals do it ALL the time, why can't I."

"Trust me, Light, you ARE an animal." He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, sure, I'm the animal. You should see Kill Switch when you takes his AK-47. He'll probably turn into a bear with chainsaw hands and tear your face off." I chuckled, trotting into my kitchen and grabbing a beer out of the fridge.

"You would LITERALLY turn into a bear with chainsaw hands and tear somepony's face off." He turned around. "Now come on, let's get this over with. I have better things to be doing."

Did I mention my friendship with Gear isn't all that friendly? So, saving you the pain of a wordless 30-minute walk through town to some run-down remains of a mansion that Gear Dust calls a home, we get there and go inside and just stare at the thermostat for a minute. It says 1337 degrees celsius, but it's not actually hooked up or anything.

"Gear, why do want to change this? It says 'Leet!" A gust of cold air blew through an open hole in his ceiling and came straight down onto me, sending chills down my spine.

"Hardee har har. Very funny, Light. We're not teenagers anymore. I'm a once-was billionaire and you're... you." He looked at me, not able to think of anything better to say about me.

"Yeah. Once was. You spent every last bit on hookers and moldy cheese from the 99-cent store." I looked at him, slightly disgusted.

"Can't blame a guy for havin' a good time, right?" He smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah, well Ronaldo and Melinda weren't the best names for the two you stuck with after 4 years of the same life."

"Her name was Randalli, not Ronaldo. And you know Melinda was the best pet cheese that ever lived." He looked over to me, still slightly embarassed.

"Yup. That's exactly why I'm dissapointed in the path you chose." I rolled my eyes.

"Just... you can leave if you don't want to be here. You had a choice." He quietly growled, almost inaudibly.

"I didn't have a choice, but yeah, I'll leave. It's Monday anyways. I shouldn't even be out of bed right now, let alone halfway across town, Gear!" I said, a bit outraged. I slowly back up and cooled down, giving him a small wave and leaving into the town.

You have THREE choices on the start to the next chapter.

CHOICE A: One of the mane six crashes something into him. [Specific Mane 6 character here.]

CHOICE B: He finds the T.A.R.D.I.S. and pokes it with a stick.

CHOICE C: Derpy drops a shit-ton of mail on him.

VOTE AWAY! UNTIL NEXT TIME, ME LADDIES. AND ALWAYS REMEBER; SHREK IS LOVE, SHREK IS LIFE.