A/N: Summary: How does Matt take it when his best friend takes off without him to travel the world? Who and what does he turn to when he feels so alone? More importantly, how does he react when Mello returns? Why is it that the one person Matt thought was on his side, makes everything so much more complicated? It turns out, as close as they were, there was unspoken secrets between them. And just maybe when that secret is revealed, it will turn their world upside down.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warnings: No beta. This chapter should be fine.. Drug use and sexual situations in later chapters.
Characters: Matt, Mello, BB, L, Light, Matsuda, Sayu, Mikam, and Misa.
Chapter 1: When You're Gone
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
He had always been a loner by nature. It was who he was. His family was taken from him at such a young age. He spent some time bouncing around different orphanages. They always shipped him to a new one, with one excuse or another. He didn't even try to remember their 'reasons' anymore. It never truly mattered. He was used to being alone. Handling his emotions on his own. He opened his green eyes to look around. It was exactly how Mello had left it. Mello. The boy who changed his life. Who turned him to depend on him. The MAN he cared so much about. The bed was made neatly. Just the wrinkles that had formed under Matt disturbed it. He had made it a habit to stay in Mello's- no. The spare room. Matt squeezed his eyes shut as the tears started again. It had been 3 days since Mello walked out. But Matt felt like it had been 3 years.
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
'Promise me you'll take care of yourself, Matty.' He had said as Matt watched him walk to the door. If Mello could see him now. He was so pathetic. He didn't know why or when he began to depend so much on the blonde, but he had.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
'No, Matt. You still have a year left to get your degree. I promise, in a year, I'll be here to watch you graduate. And then you can come with me if I decide to go again.' Matt had begged Mello to take him with him. He didn't want to stay here alone. He missed his best friend dearly.
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
Matt sat up as he heard the door open with a loud bang. L. The great detective who couldn't pick just one successor. He had said they all had their strong points. That he could use them all. It should've made everyoe happy. But not Mello. He had to be number one. Upon sitting up, Matt could see everything Mello had left behind. He only took what he needed. One duffle bag. His leather since he was taking his bike. All the chocolate he could. And ofcourse, his laptop. But that was it. The shelves on the wall were lined with first editions. Clothes littered the floor. Mello had even forgotten his rosary that sat on his nightstand. He was surrounded in Mello. You could feel his presence here. Open books from continued studying on the desk. A hole in the wall by said desk from an angry outburst (most likely involving Near). He felt the sting behind his eyes as he finally looked at his mentor in the doorway.
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
"Matt, come eat something." L was telling him. Begging him. How could he? It felt as though with the loss of his best friend, he was useless.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
Matt pulled at his sleeves to make sure his forearms and wrists were covered. It wouldn't do to had L spot the fresh wounds. L was too damn perseptive. He had seen. Mat knew he did. But he didn't comment. He just asked Matt once again to come eat something.
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
'Promise me you'll study. Work hard. Make me proud Matty. And when you graduate with top marks, the world will be ours for the taking.' Matt forced himself up. He would keep the promise he had made to Mello. If only so he could go with him in year. He followed L out to the dinning room. Beyond Birthday, L's twin brother and ex-con, was at the table waiting for them.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
By the time Matt had forced himself to eat, he had ageed to let L move into Mel- the spare room. Another promise he made Mello. That he would get someone to stay temporarily. He couldn't afford the place on his own and go to school. L offered to help. Why not? Better than some stranger he can't trust. Better than Near. So slowly, he made an attempt to pack Mello's few belongings. He snuck a set of his lounge clothes, one of Mello's favorite books, and his rosary to his room where he tucked them all into a drawer for safe keeping. He would be prepared for when Mello did return in the coming year. Cause knowing him, it would be unannounced.
TBC
A/N: So, this story was just bouncing in my head for a long time. A lot of the chapters will have different songs, however, not all will. I needed to fill in gaps with regular chapters. Where I felt like going more in depth with other characters or because two chapters needed a connection. I hope you enjoy it. My first time giving this site a shot. 3 It actually already finished. I'm just slowly posting chapters in case I decide to change a small detail based on what reviewers (if I get any) say.