Letters Chapter Part 1

by tmpayne

The letters tell the journey of Brennan and Booth during the year apart. Part 1 of two. Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Bones, I reap no profit.

Chapter 1 Letters to Bones

I sat in the shade of the shelter when the mail came in. I hadn't counted on really receiving mail here. I got a post card from Hodgins in Paris and a couple letters with a military post mark. Holding those letters made for a refreshing change from holding the trowel and brush for the remains. As I held the letter in my hand, I saw him standing before me in his uniform at the airport. I had to banish the thought so that none of my colleagues would see me cry. I especially did not want Daisy to see me that way. She tended to have a big mouth and she liked to put her two cents into conversations that did not include her. Holding that letter in my hand brought the full feeling of warmth and love of his hand.

I took off my gloves so that I could carefully open the letter. Inside the letter he had placed a photo of him in his camouflage uniform. I found him to be visually pleasing in that uniform but it worried me at the same time. I worried that we might not see each other again. I placed the picture in the breast pocket of my shirt so that it could be kept safe. Or maybe it had something to do with my attachment to him, I didn't really know.

Afghanistan

August 25th 2010

Dear Temperance,

I thought I would take the time to write you and let you know that I am well here. I am doing my best to train these guys out here. It is very demanding and more than a little tough. It is a real challenge a majority of the time. I am doing everything in my power to ensure that I return to you and the work we do. I figured a handwritten letter would be far more personal than an e-mail you might not get. On a more personal note, leaving you at that airport broke my heart in a way I have never thought possible. Truth be told, it may be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I had a lot I wanted to say but the words would not come. I still would give up even my life to stay by you. I have not changed my mind about how I feel. I am sincerely sorry that I scared you that night, but I really did mean it.

I know how much courage it took you to take my hand and squeeze it. It gives me hope for the future. I know how much you care despite the fact that showing affection is not your strong suit. I will take you squeezing my hand any day. I wanted to kiss you good bye but it did not seem like the right time or place for it. I respect you enough to give you personal space. I understand that you did what you needed to do. I know I did what I needed to do for me. I didn't want you to stay for my sake only. You needed your space obviously and I could only oblige you in that request. Well it is late and it is sure to be a long day tomorrow. See you in my dreams okay.

Yours always, Seeley Booth

I thought about the letter for a few minutes and put that letter carefully back in its envelope. I could hear my name being called outside letting me know that they needed me to see something. I put the second letter away unopened to read later. That afternoon had been very productive and I was thoroughly exhausted. Taking the hat off of my head, I thought about the letter I had read during the momentary break. The second letter entered my thoughts. I opened the letter despite my exhaustion.

October 1st, 2010

Afghanistan

Dear Temperance,

It has been a long day out here. It gets really hot or really cold in the same day. The guys I am training are really coming along. We have been fortunate that little excitement has come to our camp. I have not lost anyone so far and I don't plan on losing anyone while I am here. Teddy's enough for me for to live with. You saw how long it took me to deal with that. I saw something in your eyes when you wished me good bye.

You have a beautiful soul that I have missed for so long. I really miss being out in the field with you even with your social awkwardness. At least we are only down to a few months until we are together again. I dream of being with you by night and think of you by day. I have to go. Training is always going here and terrorism never seems to sleep.

Yours forever, Seeley

After I finished the last letter, I sat there visualizing him out there doing a dangerous job that scared me. I did not understand the feeling I was feeling. Since I had started working with him, I had become a different person. I guess in a way, he transformed into more of a people person from a smart anthropologist with no social skills. I placed each letter in the bag to be kept safe. I am becoming sentimental, I laughed at myself. It made me think of Booth and that is what I dreamed of that night.

Chapter 2 Letters to Booth

Spoilers include Beginning in the End and Parts in the Sum of the Whole.

I received her letters late, as always. I found two of her letters with Parker's cards and a postcard from Hodgins. I opened Parker's cards first. I felt my eyes get a little misty when I opened the first card and found his picture from school. I could hardly believe that Parker had grown up so fast and had become so smart. He was not a little boy anymore and he knew what was going on in the world. Parker told me about how well he was doing in school and how much is was looking forward to spending time with me again. He asked me what it was like to train these guys here in Afghanistan. I knew that things would not have been this way if Becca would have married me. As I was thinking that very thought, it was as if God reminded of what I would have missed out on. That reminded me of Bones. I put Parker's picture in my breast pocket and went on to read Bones' letters.

Being out here away from her made me appreciate all the little things about her. Holding that beautifully written letter was like being back in the lobby of the airport again. I felt a new feeling radiating from her touch as she held my hand. When she looked at me before she boarded that plane, she opened the windows of her soul to me. I loved what I saw and it stayed with me through the plane trip to Afghanistan. I gently opened the letter as I sat on my rack. The memories of the last year flooded my mind as I opened it.

November 1st, 2010

Dear Booth,

I got your letter in the mail a few days ago. We are making great progress in our anthropological research. We have found some very profound evidence. Daisy is doing well. She tends to ramble too much and I do have to put her back on focus. She is very brilliant. I did not mind solving murders with you really but I needed a serious rest from it. It did hurt me to watch you go. I worry about your safety even if I have my own to worry about really. Aside from solving murders burning me out, I needed to sort out a few things. I really needed to clear my head and understand what I was feeling. Thanks to you, I feel alive. I feel a strong emotion for you that that I am working on figuring out, even now. I felt the warmth and caring in your touch when you held my hand. It didn't scare me. It actually brought me comfort and hope.

Well I really have to get going. This dig has been amazing. Remember please don't be a hero okay. I would not like it if I had to carry on without you.

Your Friend, Temperance

I folded up the letter and put in my by duffle bag so that it might be safe. I could hear the Colonel talking to one of my Non-Commissioned officers about something that happened earlier in the day. I got up to speak to the Colonel and that conversation lasted longer than anticipated. Taps had been called and I was tired. I saw the sunset earlier in the evening and I thought of how we used to watch the sun go down behind the Mall. My mind called me to read the last letter she had sent me.

December 20th, 2010

Dear Seeley

How are you Booth? I hope this letter is finding you well and still doing your job. The months are sure passing fast. I spend some very long hours out here. These bones speak to me and tell me about the past. I wish sometimes that I had you were here to talk to. I watched the sun go down recently. I thought about how he used to watch the sun go down in DC. I really do miss you.

It is really hard for me not to miss you. I actually miss your humor and gentle correction when I get a colloquialism wrong. The people I am working with are good people and they are very intelligent. I have moment that I find myself wishing for you instead of them. I too, have a lot to say but I just can't. Maybe in time I will be able to better express myself.

Did you know that Harmonia told me I had a riddle I have yet to solve? How could someone love me when I t think it impossible? She told me that there was a man out there and he found all my little insecurities dazzling. I thought she was crazy then. I think now that she was actually right. I just wonder what it is about me that you find so dazzling. I have felt something every time we have kissed that scared me. I am slowly learning how to be loved.

Since you sent me a photo to remember you by, I have sent one of me out here doing what I do. Thanks to you I am becoming so sentimental that I hardly recognize myself anymore. Your picture is really one of my most valuable things. I know that it defies my logic, but it is true. I hope this photo will help you through the coming days. Until we are meeting again at the reflecting pool, take care of yourself and please just come back in one piece. Maybe we can talk about us sometime in the future with a different outcome this time.

Always, Temperance

PS-I dream of you every night. At least you are with me there.

I placed my letter up with the other one. I could feel a change that night in the wind of our relationship. It felt as if there was no limit as to what the future held. My future and her future could very well become our future. It was my last thought before I was asleep. With that picture in hanging up in my blouse pocket, I went to sleep thinking of the possibilities for the future. I love letters from Bones. My Bones.

Chapter 3 Happy New Year's Bones

Spoilers: Harbingers under the Fountain..

New years had come and gone around the world. My New Year's Eve consisted of catching up with some well deserved sleep. My New Year's Day consisted of work out in the field and continued evolutionary research. I thought I had heard Daisy crying New Years Eve because she was missing Sweets. I made sure that I kept all of Booth's letters in the safest possible place at all times. They became some of my most prized possessions I had on this dig. Before I ever knew Booth, things had to have scientific value or monetary value for me to give it intrinsic value. Booth taught me the value of sentimental value. So now sentimental value really was as high, if not higher than scientific or monetary value put together.

I arrived back to my bed just after 10 on the 9th of January. Mail had come in once again. It was no surprise to see a letter with that old familiar handwriting waiting for me to open it. I took a cold bottle of water from the cooler next to my bed and opened up the letter. Letters seemed to keep us together despite the many miles between us in a way that I found satisfying at an indefinable level.

January 3, 2011

Dear Bones,

Happy New Year's from Afghanistan. Some of the guys here rang in the New Year with a fire fight while they were out on patrol. One of my former trainees is now on his way home for treatment back in the states. Life here is so tough. It keeps on going despite the constant violence and bloodshed. I really wished that I could have spent it with you and the squints instead of here. These guys are cool but they are not like family. I mostly wished that I could have spent it with you. Maybe next New Year's we can all spend it together. I would have something to look forward to at midnight. Sorry about that, I just can't help but think about you all the time.

Your intelligence, your inner and outer beauty, and everything you are will always dazzle me more than any words can express. You might not understand it now. I hope one day you will. I think of you every day and I really like doing that. Don't worry my head always stays on a swivel and not in the clouds. I will come back to you safe. I really miss you and I miss some of the behavior that used to bug me. I miss how you always say "I don't know what that means" when I say something you don't understand. I even miss the words "Anthropologically speaking".

You know Temperance, you are able to be loved. You deserve to be loved and you need to be loved. You have never been undeserving, unable, or have not needed love. That is why you are the way you are today. I still love you no matter the walls you put up to keep me out. You know by now that I will climb them every time.

Well I have to call Parker and let him know his daddy is good and safe.

Love always, Booth

I had to smile at that letter really. I guess I missed his constant references to pop culture that I was starting to understand. I find it funny how when everyone around me talking in scientific terms, I am wishing for diner conversation with Booth. Booth has been teaching me a lot over the years and I was just now realizing that. His greatest lessons were lessons of human compassion and the true showing of love. Since the day that he left, he had been continuing the lessons in love.

Love was in the written letters and the thoughts that kept us together. The longer I was away from him the more I pondered on how wrong about tangible evidence and science. I used to see it as grounds of proving whether or not something was true. Love could not be thought about in tangible terms that anthropology used on a regular basis. The evidence of love came from what I once thought was the theoretical heart. I was realizing the heart of a human has nothing to do with the blood, muscles, and vessels. The heart is the thing you protect, even if unconsciously. I still can't be entirely sure about that still. At least, I can't 100% sure of it. One day I might be certain. Until I am completely swayed by the evidence, I will lean on what I know.

Chapter 4 Booth's Valentine

I looked on the calendar in my office and noticed that Valentine's Day was creeping up on me. Here I was in Afghanistan training young soldiers how to get killed if they weren't careful. I would have rather just stayed in DC to be close to the woman that I wanted to be with most. If I had the choice, I would be in DC putting slime-ball criminals in prison with Bones. At least being there, I would be near enough to protect her. I knew she was a big girl but that didn't change my inclinations to want to watch over her. However, I knew I had a contract to honor and a promise to honor too. Honor first and self second, I had to remind myself.

I had hardly noticed that mail call had gone down during my safari into the jungle of my thoughts. One of my NCO squad leaders brought me my mail. He gave me a smile as if he was going to ask me something before he left.

"Master Sergeant, is that the famed writer Temperance Brennan? Ask her if she could send you an autographed copy of her book for me." The NCO asked.

I could have answered. I gave him my best scat facial expression. Sometimes these young soldiers reminded me of the squint squad back in DC. The only real difference is that these guys were street and military smart. The squint squad was book smart.

I respected her enough to maintain the professional space she required. The NCO backed out of the tent leaving me in privacy. I got a Valentines Card from my son Parker. Below that was the gold I looked forward to every month. I always thought e-mail was nice but now I found that these handwritten letters were the best. I found the letters to be more personal and intimate. I could say the letters allowed us to communicate more freely without feeling too uncomfortable. I put Parker's Valentine to the side for a moment so that I could read the letter Bones had sent me.

I picked up the letter Bones had sent and admired it with my finger tips. Everything about her dazzled me. For such a tough lady, she sure had beautifully delicate handwriting. My fingers touched the ink and I saw everything. From the hazel eyes that could always stop me in my tracks to her hair and the warmth of her touch. Until that moment I never thought that touching ink could actually have that effect.

January 30, 2011

Dear Seeley,

I got your letter and I haven't had time until now to really respond to it. So here I am now. Things are really going well here on the anthropological side of this dig. The evidence could really lead to one big revelation about human evolution. Daisy has been a little more focused on the job as the dig goes on. That doesn't mean she doesn't cry. I hear her crying about missing Sweets every once in awhile. It bothers me sometimes, but I have gotten used to that too. I would cry too if I knew it would do something about how things are. Unfortunately it would not change anything so I don't.

I never thought I would miss hearing your pop culture references so much. I am around so much scientific language that I could actually use it sometimes. That is why I love your letters so much. They have become paper gold to me these days. It keeps me grounded and keeps me sane. I thought that this dig was something I could use as an escape but I find it was not true at all.

I have not told you how much I really appreciate the space you have given me to figure things out. I need the room still but some things are making more sense to me now. I guess you are living by an old proverb. I guess the saying goes:

"If you love something enough, set it free.

If it comes back to you, it was always yours.

If it never returns, it was never was".

Since I am coming back, does that mean I h ave always yours? I don't really know. I am still trying to figure that one out. It has been a long day out here and I need some sleep. Should this letter get to you by Valentine's Day, Happy Valentine's Day from the Maluku Islands.

Always, Temperance

PS-I learned something new from one of the students here. I guess there is a way to send flowers on e-mail or letter. So I drew you some so that you know I meant it.

{- {-

I looked at the 14th a little different now on that calendar. In a simple letter, she came to me. Heck, she even learned something so unscientific and imaginative for me. No they were not real roses but they did not have to be if they came from her. I folded up the letter and lovingly placed it in the same place as the others. My letters of pure gold would always be safe.

Chapter. the Shade of the Tree

Spoilers from Parts in the whole of the sum.

I was more than grateful for Hodgins gift of knowledge. More than once I would have been dead if not for those cards being close at hand. I will have to remember to give Hodgins a hug for his forethought, I reminded myself. All my colleagues were doing well and the dig was progressing nicely. Booth's letters served to brighten my spirits and some would say that it made it easier to work for me. I actually smiled more than usual. I had to keep my secrets exactly that. I had always prided myself at being the professional in the field. Daisy did notice the change in my behavior but did not make any light of it. I know she is very perceptive but she tried not to show it. Truth be told, she was very brilliant and dignified despite her immature behavior tended to show more.

I was taking in my lunch under the shade of a tree. Daisy brought me my mail. I did not let Daisy see the expression that I carried inside when I receive letters from Booth. I touched the ink on the envelope and I could smell the air in Afghanistan as if I were there with him. His ink brought to mind times that once used to frighten me to my core. I could still feel the kiss on my lips that he gave me the night I hurt him so bad.

I sometimes wished I could be a mad scientist or the time traveler out of a science fiction book instead of an anthropologist. I would invent a time machine to fix some of my more imperfect memories and make them better. I guess I was in my own little world when she tried to give me my letters the first time. I did not really pay attention until I heard her voice in my ear.

"Dr. Brennan, Paging Dr. Brennan, Are you with us?" Daisy asked, waving her hand in my face to get my attention.

I shot her an annoyed look for a reason even I could not understand. The time away from him made me testier than usual from time to time.

"Yes, Ms. Wick. Thank you for the courtesy of bringing my mail. Please may I now enjoy the rest of my lunch and my mail without interruption?" I responded sounding testier than desired.

"Yes Dr. Brennan" answered Daisy as she slinked off as if she was a punished dog.

I felt terrible for my reaction and I knew that I should not have spoken to her that way. Thanks to years of working with Booth, I have learned the art of the sincere apology. I have had to apologize to Booth a couple times, so I learned pretty well.

"Daisy, Ms. Wick, I'm sorry. It's hot and I really have no good excuse. I just wanted to apologize. Booth taught me sincere apologies come with successful human interaction. I will be out there in a little bit. Come back if there is a problem okay." I said offering the best apology I could come up with to Daisy.

Daisy only smiled telling me that she accepted my apology. She politely went back up the path to work as if she was anticipating my next order. I held the letter in my hand and noticed it was abnormally heavy. The object was round and a little heavy. The only thing that came to mind of was his most prized possession, his red and white Poker Chip. He carried it regularly in his pocket when he was my partner. The object in the letter was indeed his famed Poker Chip He valued it greatly. I could tell this letter held something far more special than the previous letters.

I carefully unfolded the stationery paper. His first letters were just plain paper and this one was Army issue. The poker chip remained in my shirt pocket as I read the correspondence. Even though the poker chip was made of plastic, I treated it as if it were made of delicate porcelain. I know it logically was not but now at least I started to understand one of the ideas that I never thought could be true. I held the round piece of plastic between my forefinger and index finger rubbing for a reason I could not understand myself. Sweets might say that it was like I was rubbing it to make a wish. Subconsciously, I guess I was making a wish. I guess Booth turned me into a softy. Inside my shirt pocket were the two things that kept Booth closest to me. I had his photo and his prized poker chip.

February 25th, 2011

Dear Temperance,

I got your letter not long ago, but I was just now able to write back. Truth is I got your letter right after PT a few days ago. There's nothing like a few hundred push-ups to keep me busy and tired. By the time we see each other again, I will need a new belt for my Cocky belt buckle don't you think. I have been working on a tan out here too. Training is same-old, same-old really. We have had a few near mishaps due to youthful recklessness and lack of wisdom. I was able to prevent a few needless deaths. I have not told you much about the other side of the job because I am not allowed to really. I will have more to share about that in DC if you want to know about it.

I know that you probably noticed the poker chip before you even opened this letter. I wanted you to hold on to it until we were in DC once again by the reflecting pool. I kept it around for luck and it has always reminded me of how far I have come. You already know that it is one of my most treasured possessions and I don't part with it unless it has a special reason why. I want you to understand that I think you are worth the gamble. I felt that way they night you said "no" and I still do. Sometimes words fail to best express emotions. As you would put it, the proffering of gifts shows more than words ever could.

I would give up just about anything for you. I would give up our partnership if it meant something stronger would come of it. You are worth every gamble I could ever make. I don't mean put any pressure on you. I understand that you have your reasons for how you are. I still have a lot to teach you. I want you to come to the decision on your own. If I have to wait on you, I can and I most assuredly will. I am a patient man, you know that by now.

Taps has just sounded. I have to make sure my guys are not creating too much trouble. Sweet Dreams my angel.

Love, Seeley.

I folded up the letter with a kind of gentleness that I never really had before. Each letter was more precious than the last. Maybe it was exhaustion, the change of my mind, or the changes I could feel in my heart, but that little plastic chip was more than just a piece plastic to me. It was a piece of Booth I could keep with me. He now entrusted me with this part of him much the same way that he had entrusted his heart to me. It was as if he offered up his heart for me a second time. My mind went back to that night I hurt him so terribly.

Such notions of sentimentality would have been foolish to me if he had not become such a constant part of my life. Now that he was still in it in the most indirect of ways, I knew I knew I would never be the same again. He said that he would wait but my cynical mind told me that he was only talking sentimental mush. My heart knew different really. How long could or would he wait for me to offer up the same sacrifice? As I rose from my spot under the tree to return to work, that was the last non-anthropological question I had in my mind. The real question was really how long I could or I would wait? Time would tell.

Chapter 6 Opened Windows

Spoilers Death in the Saddle, Fountain of the Harbingers, Parts in the Whole of the Sum.

I looked down at my calendar. In the corner of each box, was a little "x". I eagerly awaited mail whenever it came. Aside from Bones' letters, I got regular letters from Parker. I didn't know what I did right to deserve such a wonderful son. I was not sure if I would have come here if not for Parker speaking his mind. His letters warmed my heart as a father but Bones' letters warmed my heart as a man. I wasn't sure what was worse on me when I was not on patrol, missing out on a year of Parker's life or a year of being without Bones close by

. Training men to carry out job at hand was dangerous and required constant concentration on my part. When I was not carrying out my military duties, I was thinking of Bones. I thought of her as they were making me pump out the push-ups and punishing crunches. I prayed daily for the safety of the men I trained and Bones. Every letter she sent me, I secured with greatest reverence and love. They were always safe and I made sure of that.

I was sitting in my chair in my tent right after PT, when the NCO brought the mail. My NCO's learned not to inquire much about my mail. They learned to leave the subject alone. Bones was always seemed to be around me because some of my guys were avid readers of her work. For that reason I heard the name Temperance Brennan frequently in the mess tent. The NCO just handed me my letters and made his exit. Thank God these are only Bones letters and not the woman herself, I thought to myself sitting in a sweaty gray shirt and black shorts. This letter had a beautiful envelope with the most beautiful handwriting. I decided that maybe I should shower and change before I read it. I didn't want sweaty hands to smear the ink.

Temperance Brennan you are a complicated and fascinating woman, I thought to myself. Her envelope was so much like her that it made me smile. Taking the letter out of the beautiful envelope, I thought about her beautiful smile. Her beautiful eyes, amazing body, and mind-blowing intelligence could get me to do anything she requested. I tried my best to express that to her.

February 20th, 2011

Dear Seeley,

How are you holding up out there? I really hope you are well. It seems like yesterday that we parted ways at the airport. We are now just about three months away from DC. I have immensely enjoyed this dig but the power of the dig is waning. It used to be a great distraction. Apparently too much of you has rubbed off on me. I guess the saying is that"I hear Washington DC calling me." Ms. Wick is good. I will be happy when we get back and maybe she won't be so annoying to be around. She is brilliant as a scientist really; she can be such a bothersome woman at times. I hope she matures in time. Maybe sweets can help me with that issue when we get back. I am looking forward to seeing my interns again and staying away from her for awhile, if at all possible.

The last few months have been beneficial for my thinking. Not so long ago, you told me you loved me and I wanted to run away. I still don't know why, I just did. I know you said in an "atta girl" kind of way, but I knew you were serious. I guess I panicked the night you told me you wanted to take that chance.

You are too valuable to me. I did not comprehend exactly why at the time I can say I have an idea now. I know my past should not affect my present or future, but I feel a great deal of comfort knowing that you understand. I greatly appreciate that amazing patience you possess.

I remember a conversation we had some time ago. I never thought that two people could occupy the same space. You called it a miracle. I am starting to believe that miracles exist because you have been my miracle over the years. I am flattered that you would give up so much just for me without a moment's pause. No man has ever offered me anything like that. Maybe when we get back, we can discuss this further. It is so easy for me to express myself on paper. I don't know how it will come out when we are face-to-face again.

Well I have work to get to. Being in charge can be a challenge and a half. Don't be a hero okay.

My affection always, Temperance

This letter was really more revealing than all of the previous letters put together. It seemed as if this time apart started opening the windows of our hearts in a way neither one of us anticipated or dreamed. The letters actually allowed me the freedom to speak my mind without fear of rejection or at least immediate rejection. These letters were revealing to me the parts of her that she always kept so hidden from just about everyone. There's just something about the beautiful enigma that was Temperance Brennan and the effect her letters had on me. Each was a letter a miracle.

Chapter 7 I Would Love to Show You

Spoilers from The parts in the sum of the whole and Death in the Saddle.

The dig was on its way to completion at a more rapid pace than I thought it would. I could say that we learned a lot more than I thought possible.

The evolutionary link could have been found this dig but part of me really wanted to be in DC more. I always thought that Angela's wish for me to discover something that puts "a new meaning to being human" was her way of speaking scientific to me. The letters that Booth and I had shared helped me to understand what Angela had really meant. She was wishing me to understand what it meant to be a human in the truest sense. For years, any relationship I had with man was merely a means to satisfy my physical, carnal needs. I seek love, any attachment, or any other form of commitment because of my childhood experiences. Sometimes I wondered if Angela always understood that. Maybe this dig was the best way for to see into my own windows. I never understood the expression "windows to the soul" much because it never was part of my belief system.

During this dig, Booth was a constant thought in my mind. I would remember little memories that made me wonder if I was all wrong that night about where his feelings came from. I did try to shut out some of my own thoughts and tried to dismiss them as anecdotal. Anecdotal evidence doesn't count and you know that, I heard my scientific reasoning saying. A long time ago, that would have been enough for me to ignore it. Booth changed that idea over the last five years. My emotions found a voice in the time that I had known him. It still unnerved me from time to time.

I tried not to view too much news on the internet. For the first time in my life, I saw the news from a less objective point of view now. Instead of spending time on world events, I put my mind to work on another book. Writing Andy Ryan was difficult considering that he was based so loosely on Booth. Every attempt seemed to make Booth's brown eyes back to me. No outlet I tried served as an outlet for my worry and loneliness. Part of me wanted to constantly think of him.

I was about to go to sleep when a shadow darkened my shelter door. I knew who it was by her small frame and long hair. Ms. Wick always brought me my mail. I did my best not to make it appear to be preferential treatment. I trusted her more for the main reason that I had known her for years. I could trust her with my mail. The rest of my colleagues were complete strangers.

"Yes, Ms. Wick." I answered in my most professional voice.

"I have a package this time for you. By the way, Lance says hello. I just thought I would tell you. Well good night, Dr. Brennan." She said smiling as she left the way she came.

I held the package in my hand and I wondered what he could have sent. The letters were really nice but this one was extra special. I shook it like a kid shaking a Christmas present on Christmas morning. I was eager to know what it was that he sent. I removed the brown paper from around the box. I then removed the tape from the box and opened it wide. Inside was an Army Boony hat, a few snap shots, and another letter from him. I put the hat on and picked up the snap shots.

I always admired that smile and that wonderful personality of his. He was such a caring, compassionate, and warm person. He taught me a lot about how to carry myself in the field, especially in the presence of a victim's grieving family. One snap shot had him with an arm around the shoulders of two of his army buddies. The other snap shot was just of him in his camouflage pants and sandy green shirt. I will just have to make sure that these remain safe and maybe seen somewhere, I thought to myself. The shelter could use a little bit of decorating, even if it was only for two more months. I never really knew how much that man really changed me as a person until I found myself hanging up those photos. I did not do this for anthropological reasons for once. This simple action was my acknowledgment that I have become just a little more sentimental.

March 2nd, 2011

Afghanistan

Dear Bones,

I am doing okay. I am actively counting down the days on my calendar to the day that I don't have to be here anymore. I have seen enough in 10 months time for me to figure out why I got out. A lot of these guys really need some work on being careful and others have a lot of work to do on following orders to the letter. A few have actually tried to add to my techniques only to damn near meet up with their maker. I have officers who think that they know more than I do about this. Apparently my lack of West Point training qualifies me as an idiot to be ignored. It's completely okay, I am out of here in a couple months.

Your last letter reminded me of that conversation. I am really glad that I not only won the argument but I have left you thinking about it. If I recall the case properly, we had to deal with a sexual fetish murder involving horse play. Sexual fetishes are still a waste of time in my personal point of view. I know one thing for certain, you are beautiful and everything I call a miracle. My greatest hope is to one day demonstrate my words with action. I am a patient man.

Love is patient as I have seen it written and heard it said. I still love you and I am still willing to chance it if it meant that you would love me back. I hope you like the snapshots and I hope the hat comes in handy out there.

Well, time for me to turn in now. See you in my dreams beautiful.

Love, Seeley

My mind flashed back to that very conversation. He told me that making love was when two people became one. I had let him win that argument because I did not have a good argument against. I have never experienced that feeling with all the lovers I had ever been with. Every single one of them had been out of physical need. Maybe I was waiting on someone like him on an unconscious level. Before going to sleep, I whispered good night to the photos and went to sleep.

Chapter 8 Waiting with a Cup of Coffee

Spoilers The Parts in the Sum of the Whole and Bones on the Blue Line

Two months left to go, I thought smiling to myself. I had missed Bones so much. I really did not want to do this job for the Army, but I could not handle the thought of making her stay for my sake. I heard that she told Daisy that she needed perspective and room to figure things out. I granted her that out of respect for her as friend and for the simple fact I loved her. I let her go but that did not mean I sent her off without a prayer and a little worry. I sent her my poker chip, a few snap shots, and a better hat for her to do her work in. Every gift was worth all the money spent and all the feeling that went into them.

The last ten months reminded me of every reason that I got out in the first place. I have seen my share of pine boxes prepared for transport and my share of stretchers with injured men maimed for life. My thoughts of Bones balanced out the horrors of war I experienced every day in the field.

I kept the photo she had sent me was with me where ever I went. The guys would have ribbed me senseless or thought me insane if they saw the photo of the famed writer Temperance Brennan in my pocket all the time. I just did my job here to the best of my ability and tried not to venture far from the current job. I did get asked questions about my first time in the Army and my work with the FBI. Only one man in this whole outfit asked me about her. I only told them that she was good at what she specializes in and that she is really worth working with. I was not about to reveal to complete strangers what I really thought.

I was glad to know that the Army did not have the ability to read minds. By day, I was doing my job by bringing back guys completely intact. By night, I found myself back in the lab surrounded by the squints and in the presence of Bones. I missed solving crimes and I missed the drinks after work with Bones. In my deepest sleep, I could see her the same way I saw her in my coma. I was able to hold her, touch her, and just be close to her. In those dreams, her touch seemed so real that when I woke up I felt just a little let down not to see her there. I did not tell a single soul about those dreams

. I prayed for her when I went to Sunday Mass on the base. I asked God just to keep her safe and bring her back to DC well. I also asked him to take good care of her for me. I also prayed that He would get me back to DC in one piece so that I could quit dreaming so much.

I could hear someone yell that mail call had come with, great enthusiasm. I waited for the NCO to make it to my tent with my mail. I didn't get my usual letter, I got a medium sized box. I really had to smile. I loved her letters mostly because she was the one that wrote them. I also loved them so much because I was starting to see a glimmer of hope that she might be feeling what I am feeling. It was possible that this time apart did bring the perspective she really needed. She might say that I turned her sentimental, I did not believe that. She was already that way in some ways before I came along. I just made it more obvious and I was proud of that.

She had sent me an autographed copy of her most recent book to give the camp library, a couple photos, and a beautifully written letter in her lovely hand. I placed the book off to the side laughing. I could still remember the issue page 187 created around the lab and how she said she would like to try it one day. If I recalled correctly, it was with a raise of her eye brow. In seeing the photos, I realized how beautiful she really was and how beautiful she always will be. In a snuggly fitting party dress or in a set of dirty old work clothes, she was a knock out.

March 3rd, 2011

Dear Booth,

We are now down to a little over two months now. I have tried to write a little for my next book. I have not had much success. When I can't write, I try my best to supervise this dig. I have grown to dislike reports a little because I have seen so many. From what we have dug up, there is a lot about evolution that we still have to figure out. If this whole thing makes the news and world events, I would thrilled and surprised. Media attention would be thrilling, but seeing you would thrill me more.

I will honestly be at my happiest when I see you on that bench waiting for me with a cup of coffee. When I need to smile, I see you waiting on me with a cup of coffee in my office. I really do miss you. I have you to thank for changing my perspective of the world. I have you to thank for changing how comfortable I am with this world. I see this world as not so scary a place. I have also seen that there are a lot of good people in this world.

I carry that poker chip around in my pocket because it is a part of you. I find it to be a refreshing change to have someone like you to want to gamble on me. I want to tell you that I would gamble our partnership for something more, but right now I am not in that place. I am sure that I will get there eventually. I am just not there yet.

It is my hope that you believe me when I tell you that everything we have as partners means more than I can express in words. As you would die for me, I would be more than willing to die protecting you. Maybe when this whole dig/army thing is over with, we will walk through that proverbial door that we have been avoiding. I don't know yet. But I am sure we will know in due time.

Please take this autographed copy of my book to the camp library for the soldiers there to read. I recommend that you do it when no one is around. If you don't, you will never hear the end of it.

Well I have to go and get some shut eye as you might put it. Until we are able to actually see each other again, I will continue to dream.

Affectionately yours, Temperance

I folded up the letter and placed it in my secret place. I put the pictures up somewhere where only I could see them. I grabbed my cover and headed over to the camp library. The NCO in charge wanted to ask questions I am sure but the look of warning I gave him changed his young mind about asking. He only asked me to tell her thank you and that it was appreciated. As I walked back to my tent to review some personnel records for reenlistment prospects, I had to smile and laugh. Temperance really was growing because what she did was not for monetary gain or even for press. She did it so that I could give back to these guys. I know some people thought of her as a cold fish but she really did have the warmest heart. I knew the most beautiful woman and in time she might actually be mine.