And follow the light
Summary: Stepping in into de the valley of Death -would you keep on dragging your Love onto your shoulders or would you give Love a second chance?
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned in this little story.
Warning: Boys Love. No likey. No ready.
Notes: This is mah wedding present for my lovely child wifey LovelySpiral –yeah, being corny makes you redundant and that it's so ubber lovely!
If I've had to pick someone to be at mah wedding…I'd pick my Kaa-chan because she always copes up with my bizarre personality ^^
Enjoy yourself, Naina-cha~n, 'ttebane!
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Peut être la mort aura-t-elle le dernier mot, mais l'amour aura eu le plus beau.*
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Your smile. Your smile like a crowded desert –almost ridicule and unbelievable. Almost a delusion and yet –the will strong! Strength impressed on your face.
I've used to think and speak out that you were always facing straight to the enemy, never hiding your position, kicking your feet ahead. And with every step gaining knowledge and place on your opponent. I would rather loose myself in between my cold musings and my amazing skills than having a map of blurry possibilities like you did. I would rather scream to them that you were so brave or so foolish to take the encounter by the lead.
You are so foolish, Naruto. You were so foolish. I knew I always stuck with the latter and tried my best to prove right to the enemy.
You are so brave! You are so brave that you are a fool in the eyes of this world. But then again, you are so brave and so caring of everybody that you can't be denied anymore. You are courageous and brave and I admire you because of that. Because you can pull off what you really are and convince others into accepting it.
And the gaze. Easily distracted by it.
Wide skies of a deep blue. Not a piercing, gelid, cold blue but a deep blue. Maybe baby blue, a very childish hue as its name recalls it.
Wide skies where I soar through. I float in their soft hold. They never take me farther beyond the known and the familiar. Always somewhere where I belong, somewhere I could feel at home.
I look back and regret that the impact hasn't launched me next to you. Because if I read –even rapidly– through my memories I'm the one who always wanted to fight next to you and with you.
You are my home. The only one I've ever wanted to go back to. The only where I feel my feelings have place under a mattress of fluffy foxy hair and the permanence of tangible warmth in your eyes.
And they talk too much. What do they know about this sensation of incertitude when Love finally approaches knocking on your soul gates, opening with sneaky key the heart-shaped locket?
Nobody was forcing me into fighting you. You and only you were demanding it. There's no fate in our meeting stronger than the will which pursues it. And that will belongs to you. And to you only, my love. Naruto, my love.
I was so blind not to see that it was that passion written in your eyes, the gleam etched in your grown up and wiser gesture that had made me realize I was a young shinobi now. I was becoming an elite shinobi now but I couldn't see it. Still mesmerized under the restraining chains of my revenge and the ties of dry blood that were there staining my clothes claiming a craving desire for murder and sef-mutilation.
And they judge me. They judge us. You have a special ability of getting out all the good from people. I'm the last of a prodigious clan that is already dead and yet alive -and throbbing heavily to get avenged at last.
I love you Naruto but I can't see the light. I love you Naruto but they will never let me love you. I love you so much that it pains me to know that you may give me up like everybody else did.
It pains me to feel so special with you being without you.
Are you my parachute, Naruto? Reaching out my hand I find myself enjoying the warmth of your fingertips caressing my skin. I fully open my eyes to realize I can believe you. Even if I cannot be the center towards which all things turn around -you make me want to take the chance and stay. It would be easier to live freely in the deep of the woods with my dark thoughts, trapped in my illusionary love, mourning the hole in my chest.
"We can be happy", it's what your grin is always telling me. "We can find a way through all obstacles and their subsequent consequences."
We can be more than old memories stuck in the past. Like a flower tucked in a book, you have me all withered and dehydrated, hidden in between lines and lines of sad miserable script. You tighten the grip and are confident enough to believe I won't loosen it.
I can believe, Naruto. But the only turning point that sparked romance in my bittersweet existence was the rampant feeling of his dying eyes –eyes that were dying because of Love– settling and intensifying this empty place in my chest. All the romance I could ever share was dying right in front of me and if you can't give me back my lover I will stand in the cold and face the unwelcoming weather with a firm gaze burning holes on it. I can believe, Naruto. But I can't dream of Love without him…I can't figure out what peace and friendship means without him…
But I can believe. I can believe…I would rely on you and believe it, my lop-eared fox.
I've followed the light of those wide skies.
It was goodbye.
"I'd know. I'd know if you are doing fine when I'd turn around and spot all the green leaves becoming thick forests again. And I'd know it would be like a mirroring vision of your successes and achievements that you have reached because of your will and due to all that happiness that –I trust– will never ever vanish", I say to him, there's a slight regretting tone in my voice that I can't help but let out. "I'd know this will be a very merry place…"
"Not so merry without you", you interrupt me all of a sudden, pressing our lips together.
"Sasuke." Why does my name sounds so pleasurable when coming out from your grinning lips? Why do I have the impression that you are rather answering me to all my questions instead of raising new ones –instead of just merely calling me out?
"I will believe in you, usuratonkachi."
"That's too cliché. Tell me something I've never heard" he demanded, his gaze fixed on mine. I can't escape this kind of trap! I'm the one with doujutsu powers! Damnit, Naruto!
"I will be back just for you."
No. Kakashi and Sakura haven't disappeared. They are both standing behind you but I don't dare to look at them. You are the core of all my attentions. You are the only gravitation in this world that leads my footsteps again and again to Konoha. You and your deep blue eyes like wide skies. You and your foolishness. You and your obsessions. You and me. You and your needs of having me by your side. Nobody has ever made me feel this wanted, my love. Naruto, my Hokage. Naruto, my Hokage, my love.
Scanning around I can see Yamato's dropping jaw and the characteristic -and yet more peculiar than ever- smile on Sai's lips. I bet you are a way more effective team now –without me. Without all my whims and avenging needs. Your and Sakura's mind always worked so well together.
You don't need me, Naruto. You don't need me to fill your life with love and glee. You don't need me to smile. Believe me, you don't!
Why do you look at me with your sight clouded with affection? Why do you insist and strive for an outcast like me? I won't ever understand. I always loved you and always will though. You have always had me. You have me already and forever.
"I like that better", the enchanter utters at last. You will always ooze charm.
"I don't promise you anyth…" I begin to say, my hands shaking slightly.
"I wasn't asking you to. I just wanted to be sure that you'd be safe out there. Farewell, Sasuke", you say that so gently, a final stroke of your air. I wish I could swallow my pride for a moment and ask for it. But I don't.
"Farewell, Naruto" I respond saddened. We are standing face to face, closer enough as to analyze each other's features until they'd become records that will never fade inside our good memories' secret trunks. And yet, so far away. A distance I can't shorten by myself to join with you on the bright side of the blooming field.
I want to be there, facing the kiss, where you and me will never break that collided-lips' connection. With your taste in my mouth just like air in my lungs keeping me working. It ain't living without your sweet scent next to me, pressed so tightly even twistingly against me.
It is what it is but someday…Someday, I'll see.
~Fin*
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*Death may have the last word yet it's Love the one who has the most beautiful one
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Final notes: When the future seems so adverse…it's so hard to pick a star and actually follow its light. Yes, I was listening to "The Call" while writing it. I hope Kishi won't disappoint us and give Naruto his well-deserved happy ending! Ganbatte, Naruto !