I ADORE these two characters and the limitless possibilities with their very uncharted layers of years in the making of one of prime time's more interesting friendships. I hope that I can do their barely investigated pools of unspoken emotions a bit of justice with this story. Besides that, I'm writing this for my own sanity in my sudden irrational obsession with re-watching all the episodes, driving my loving and doting boyfriend CRAZY! Please, feel free to be warned that there will be a little bit/more like a lot a bit, of physical tension and most likely steamy scenes. I write long pieces and get a little long winded in my writing much like Jeremy does with his 'talking.' I hope you enjoy and PLEASE PLEASE (I'm not begging... Actually I am) REVIEW!

Reckless Endangerment

By PlainJain988

Chapter One

I watched the second hand of the school clock ticking by with an impatience that I'd grown impossibly attached to. Even today, of all days, that I'd been given the unusual day off, I couldn't stop the nervous pitter patter of my sneaker smacking against the steel leg of my school desk. At the front of the class my brother was droning on about STD's, comparing them to the many parasites known to the human species; my favorite the pesky bed bug that is nearly undetectable unless witnessed by a trained eye. I shook my head as he gave me a nervous smile, a picture of a motel bed of a filthy motel pinned to the white board.

My brother should NOT be teaching Sex Ed, budget cuts or not. There had to be someone more suited for the task than him. He knew how to get a girl in the back of his car in high school, not go over the meticulous list of consequences of what they were about to do before hand, check list and pen at the ready.

The school bell rang and instead of jumping up at the sound, ready to dart down the halls in full adrenaline force as usual, I forced myself to ease back into my chair, stretching my arms out in front of me. There was nowhere to be today.

My phone remained silent and still on the desk top. As Gray had promised, today was a recuperating day. She hadn't called or texted me since 11:59 on the dot, the night before. It was freeing, but at the same time the little that I had to do with my day, besides be the teenager that I begrudgingly little too often admitted to be, was all sort of imprisoning.

Watching my chitter-chattering peers pour out of the class before me, I realized with a heavy heart that I didn't expect… I didn't belong here anymore. What I had told Billy weeks ago, that I wasn't ready to leave being a teenager behind, was futile. I was already different. I had changed in the past few months, so much so that I would never be like any of these people again.

My face felt sad and hollow to me. Suddenly, all the direction my life had the day before just vanished. I was alone here. Even the one person I promised I wouldn't leave behind…

I grabbed my bag, making my way out of the class, giving a final wave to Ben, and headed out to the desolate hallways. These hallways meant a lot to these people. But they didn't hold the same currency for me anymore. I knew what was beyond them. To say that I was the only one in the school that knew that would be naïve and childish, if not completely vain, was a lie. There were kids here in much worse situations than me and Ben, who'd been working as soon as they had the ability with a working permit. Some people here had such hard lives and little money that the little they could make was what got food on the table for their brothers and sisters.

Reaching my locker, feeling emptier than ever, I managed to open it on one try. I stared at it with an open mouth, as if I'd just opened the Chamber of Secrets with the mere touch of my hand. When I was nothing but an awkward teenager, such things were another set of awkward stares, snickered jokes behind my back. Now… now I was more invisible than ever. No one noticed me. I spent so little time here, and the time that I did spend was in another realm of reality, with my head up in the clouds, heart soaring through a galaxy of dreams that were far above anyone else, I'd lost my identity. I was no longer the weird girl who hung out with the Convict's little brother with funny hair.

I sighed, running my hands across the fresh spines of my books inside the locker. They were so clean and trim that you'd think I'd never opened them. I glanced around, shyly now.

No one locked eyes with me.

Now… I was no one.

I dreaded lunch, with every intention of leaving campus and walking a mile or so up the street to the Twisty Cone for an Ice Cream Sundae to eat alone, and ventured into the designated area outside. It was like I was behind a one way piece of glass, watching the specimen without them knowing. No one did.

I used to get run into, if not completely run over by people. Instead they completely avoided me, as if I were an inanimate object, never moving. I had blended more into the background than I had been allowed to see before. Did these people even know me anymore? Did Billy?

Across the courtyard Zoe was sitting on the top of the table, Billy listening intently to one of her stories or something, with a goofy half cocked smile lingering on his lips as he squinted at the sun. I sighed, a smile gracing my face for the first time since I woke up. It filled me with a new sense of hope seeing him content and happy. And for that matter, I liked Zoe a great deal. She brought the uniqueness, the calm back into Billy's life. I was beyond grateful that she could do that for him. At one point in time I had been the one to calm the storms in Billy's life. So much had changed so fast, and being the amazing friend that he is, he tried like hell to keep up. For a great deal of time he was right beside me, chugging on like the freight train of a soul that he was.

You can't expect someone to do that forever though. I knew the time would come when we'd go in separate ways. To say that it didn't hurt a little, with all the optimism I felt for him, would be yet another lie to add to the lengthy lists of lies that I was building in my resume of suppressed emotions. I ducked my head and headed for the street, watching my back for the nonchalant security guards, who usually don't really do their job, to call me back.

Feeling a little gitty about ditching class, I made a little squeal and hammered my feet into the ground feeling the great need to pump my fists into the air 'jersey' style. I laughed at myself. It was nice to feel like a teenager for moment. It had been so long that doing things like this didn't feel like a lifeline, ready to let out at any moment. One wrong move and it was over.

The only sad part was that I had to do it alone.

I got back to school just in time for the warning bell to fire off, sending me off in a hasty rush, trying to balance my Styrofoam cup in my hands and not lose balance, which working for Gray seemed to really pay off well. After learning to scramble up and down steps with deliveries and beverage carriers for her various morning meetings, I seemed to have established the first good key to being a waitress; which was most likely going to be my next career if evil India ever got a sniff of the truth off of me. Her presence at the office terrified me. It could be the end of my career. Whatever career that was, lying constantly, never being my true self.

I got to my locker and stuffed a heaping spoon full of sprinkles in my mouth before chucking it into the trash bin across the hall. My peers were beginning to dissipate before me, lingering here and there as they attempted to head to their designated classes. I stilled at the trash can, watching them. For a moment… I just wanted it all back.

I turned around and jumped. Billy was leaning his back against my locker in his usual cool and collected stance: legs crossed at the ankles, stretched out before him with his arms locked over his chest. He had a playful but serious look on his face. Not a hint of a genuine smile that I used to get made an appearance that I becoming desperate to see. His stance in that moment was one of many that proved to me even more that my presence in his life only reminded him of the past that we could never reach again. One thing I said still stood true, I didn't want to do this without him. But perhaps, it was simply out of my hands at this point.

I was about to say hello as I approached him, feeling a little more at home with him being there, the other half of our inevitable duo throughout the years. I felt less like a zero with him around. He held up two fingers. "Two things," He spoke seriously, with a scowl on his face that only reminded me, without him even stating it, that I'd failed to tell him two important things about today. "One: You went to Curly Cone without me. That really stings." He lowered his eyes, only dancing a little with enthusiasm with that fact. His jaw hardened and I felt the lightness in the air drop like weights onto the ground. I diverted my eyes. "Two: You didn't even tell me that you had the day off."

I shrugged. "I'm sorry?" I nudged next to him to get to my locker, his eyes watching me with an intense attention.

"Well… This time, you're forgiven. Next time…" He mocked me, sliding his finger across his throat and the lump of his Adam's apple.

Unable to stop myself, I chuckled at his way with words, or severe lack of. When I looked up at him, he was giving me a smirk. It should have made me happy, but I knew his smiles like I knew the back of my own hand. There was a sadness behind it that would never set right with me. Instead, it threw me off; my smile, my mood and the impending sugar rush that was going to go unused. Just as this unstable friendly banter that served nothing to the other side but an obstruction of endless let downs.

I bowed my head. I couldn't look at him anymore. I shoved my books into my bag as Billy observed the slackers rushing through the hallways.

Shutting my locker I gave him a small smile. "I'm heading home now. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

He moved uncomfortably from foot to foot for a moment, his lips becoming a hard line across his face. Resituating his shoulder to set against the locker once again he gave a curt nod. "Right."

As I turned to head down the hallway, he called out to me. "Janey?"

I stilled but didn't turn around for a moment, contemplating the painfully familiar tone to his voice. He sounded like my best friend again. But these moments came in such small and unsatisfying spurts. Squeezing my eyes tight, I took a deep breath before turning around, plastering the ugliest sort of fake 'happy' Jane look on my face that I could muster.

His brows furrowed as he gave me his squinty concerned looks. "Are you okay?"

I smiled, and pursed my lips. Crossing the distance, I planted a kiss on his cheek and took his hand. At my touch, recognition made his mouth slack a little, his tongue rolling around in his mouth with thought until that sad smile crossed his lips, and then filled his eyes. That emotion hit me, hard, square in the chest.

"I'm here with you. That's what really matters. Remember?" I watched our hands, embracing as his fingers took life and melted into mine, weaving themselves between my fingers. He grasped them and with hesitation, leaned across the space between us, kissing me on the cheek.

I'd kissed his face a thousand times, it was my thing. Never, had he kissed mine. It was different, much different to feel his skin against mine in this way, his lips pressed up against the cool flesh of my cheek bone. I was what felt like ten degrees colder after my sundae. His affectionate smooch served as nothing to me but a bittersweet surrender. So this is what we were now. We were simply two people clinging onto a familiarity that was sweeping out from under our feet faster than we could latch onto.

Bittersweet; his kiss, his hands, his words, his half attempted smile. The entire situation seemed so cost inefficient.

I thanked god for Zoe in that instant. She would bring the old Billy back to life when I was gone. That was what mattered most to me. Watching his eyes, slipping back and forth as he gazed into mine, I realized how much more important his happiness was than mine. I gave his hand a squeeze relishing in the fact that once I was on my way home, he'd fall back into his new routine and happiness would step back in. I released him, on more terms that I was sure he was aware of. Looking around at the walls, that no longer confined me as a child rather than serving as reminders of a past I no longer lived in, I gave a smile of a child saying goodbye to a long loved and dear old friend.

"You're going to be late for fifth period." I smiled. He didn't budge, just kept watching me with the unnerving hesitation that made me think he noticed more about my inner workings than I let myself believe. It frightened me, but I kept up the act for the mere fact that I could possibly be as good at lying to my best friend as I was at balancing iced mocha's and spreadsheets. I needed him to believe that long list of lies; they intertwined with the essence of who I was now.

Giving me a nod, he shoved off the locker. "I'll come by after school. We can hang out for a while. Maybe watch a movie, get some Thai?"

There was a pleading look in his eye that made me waver. "Seriously. Get to class, your still on High School time."

He smiled a real smile. There was only a hint of something dark beyond it that I couldn't correctly gauge. "Only if you say yes."

The fear of our night in scared me in more ways than one that I wasn't willing to think about or consider. Knowing I had no way out of it, I did the only thing that I could think of that would keep the night in tact without coming apart at the seams.

"Okay." I agreed. "Ask Zoe to come. She can pick the movie!"

He stopped mid-backwards stride, the smile slipping off his face. "Zoe?"

"Yeah!" I said re-situating my bag onto my shoulder. "I really would like the get to know the girl that lights up your face lately. She seems very…Cooool." I wondered for a moment, trying to pin point the reason I seemed to like her so much and then it hit me, making me smile even more. These two were two peas in a pod. "She's very you. This one, if wanted, could be some serious girlfriend potential."

He shook his head, for some reason aggravated by something that I said. "I'll see you after school, Jane."

Did you like? Please TELL me. :) Hugs to all you Billy and Jane shippers. Second Chapter is already ready for submission. If you like it...I post more.