Dean resisted the urge to turn his car around. He wasn't going to do this, he just wasn't. He'd made the right decision, hadn't he? Of course he had there was no other decision to make.

When they'd sent Emily to live with Missouri he hadn't really counted on actually seeing her again. After all it had taken over twenty years for him to go back to his home town the first time, he figured it would take at least that to get back there.

Except, of course, that Missouri needed some help, which brought him right back to Lawrence and right in front of the girl he's saved from a living breathing scarecrow of death.

She was just as pretty as he remembered, only…freer. Without the family to weigh her down she'd been able to go to college, learn things she never would have in that backwards ass town she came from, she'd even taken to reading cards. Missouri thought she had quite a talent for it, might even be a little bit of magic in Miss Emily yet.

She was also, as she told him not long after he got in the house, 18 now, nice and legal. He almost pointed out that the legal age in Kansas was 15, but he figured it was best to never reveal he actually knew that. And he only knew it because of some dumb ass documentary Sam made him watch, not because he was a crazy pervert.

Although as Emily glided around the house, all gorgeous smelling, relaxed, smiling inch of her he had a hard time, very hard reminding himself that he should just leave her alone.

Emily, though changed dramatically, wasn't the one night stand type and even if he could have balanced monsters and a girlfriend there was that one other little thing.

The whole he had a year, no nine months now, to live. So while he planned to live it up over the next nine months, eating and screwing his way through the country, killing as many bad things along the way as possible, he also knew he couldn't possibly ignore the giant, probably spectacularly bad end coming his way.

He couldn't get involved with someone; put their feelings at risk only to leave them.

Of course all of the talk was well and good, but it was hard to talk when the object of his affections climbed into bed with him in the middle of the night.

"Emily," he hissed, "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" she said, as her body, wondrously naked, slid along his.

"Emily, we can't do this, Missouri is down the hall."

Emily smiled against his skin, his neck to be more specific, where she was also leave love bites that were sure to show up tomorrow, "She sleeps like a rock, promise. Don't worry about it."

"Em-Emily," he moaned and she was suddenly on top of him, over him, touching him, "We—we can't do this. I've….you know about the curse, I'll be dead in less then a year."

Emily stopped for a moment, her entire body still. She pulled away to look at him, her eyes wide, and "All the more reason not to waste time."

He had more arguments, more reasons, more to say, but she was kissing him and her mouth was soft and she tasted like perfection and he couldn't help but kiss her back.

He left while it was still dark, while she was still warm and sweet against him. He grabbed Sam, jerked him awake and headed for the car.

And he wasn't turning around. She'd hate him, sure, but that was good, she'd hate him, forget him, move on, and it would hurt less….when he was gone for good.