A/N: I do not own One Piece or any of its affiliated characters. Enjoy~
"You really like him, don't you," the creepily close softness of Heredas' voice floated over Nami's shoulder and she nearly jumped out of her skin, the newspaper clipping curling in on itself and falling to the floor.
"Don't DO that," she yelled, bopping him over the head. "AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT."
"You don't have to be so defensive," he whimpered, crawling onto her couch and sprawling pathetically.
"You're misunderstanding things. This is simply the only recent picture I have of anybody, not just him."
Nami strode into her room and replaced the book with the picture in its pages, crossing her arms at him from the doorway.
"I simply want to get better for their sake. There's not much time in the first place. Two years will go by fast."
"Ah, but you said it was for his sake before."
"Yes…he's the captain. He represents everyone…in a way."
"You're fake blushing."
"SHUT THE HELL UP."
The old man sighed, wagging a finger at her and saying, "Girl's should be more charming. You're such a pretty girl, I'm sure he'd be happy to hear you like him so much-"
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU IT'S NOT LIKE THAT."
"Tsk. No need to get so upset, girl."
"Well when you keep bringing this up…"
"You get so flustered though, it's hard to think otherwise…"
She sighed, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter anyway. That idiot's about as observant as a…well, he just doesn't notice certain things. Like…feelings."
"So…you're saying you have feelings you wish he noticed?"
"NO, I…I…well…of course not…"
"When you fake blush it's hard to understand what you actually mean-"
"IT'S NOT FAKE."
"…It's real?"
"LEAVE."
"Oiiiiiii…oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi-"
"What do you want now," Nami growled sleepily, pushing open the door to her small house and eyeing the suspiciously large group of old men outside with her tutor.
"We were talking…" Heredas started with a big smile, "We have some ideas for how we can help him get…feelings."
"I don't like where you're going with this," she narrowed her eyes and sniffed. "Get off of my lawn."
"It's not even your house!" a random voice called from the group. Nami glared and there was silence.
"I'm here to learn how to predict the weather. Not to get love advice."
"You could do both!" one of the taller men offered, pointing at the front of a magazine in his hand. "This has tons of tips in it! It even says 'You'll become irresistible'."
"I already am," she muttered dangerously. Everyone took a step back from the porch.
"Obviously not to someone!" the random voice shouted again. She clenched her jaw and her eyes hardened.
"I DON'T WANT YOUR ADVICE."
"But this is from a magazine! And it has Boa Hancock on the cover," the tall man annunciated matter-of-factly. "The most beautiful woman in the world."
"That sounds like a porn star name," she said flatly, walking out and slamming the door behind her. "Reading advice from a porn mag ain't exactly what I call helping me out."
"This is not porn!" the tall man defended, pressing the magazine to his chest and looking horrified.
"Then we'll help you ourselves!"
"A young girl like yourself should be able to have the young man she pines for!"
"Yeah, girl! What happened to the spunk you showed a few weeks ago, huh?"
"You kidnapped an old man for his sake! Surely you won't mind some friendly advice!"
The red-head sighed, then smiled a little.
"Alright, alright. But I don't want it to cut into my studies. And absolutely no pervertedness."
"That's probably why he won't date you!" the random voice called out.
"I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU."
The group screamed in unison as she leaped for them and ran through the hills of Weatheria, their billowing cloaks making their movements like that of footless stingrays.
And after 2 years of growing…
"IT'S PAST YOUR SHOULDERS," Haredas cheered, holding up the ruler for her to see how much progress she'd made.
2 years of chugging…
"I didn't seriously think it would work," Nami muttered, staring at her boob measurements and reveling in the power of whole milk…
2 years of toning…
"THIS MAKES MORE RESISTANCE…MEANING MORE MUSCLE BUILD IN A SHORT TIME," Haredas yelled over the noise of the wind knot he held in front of him. Nami's lips flapped above her teeth, walking forward into the wind, hating that she cared about her physique to this extent.
And when it's finally time to put it all together…
She knew they meant well. But seriously. Old men had no fashion sense.
"I'll take this," she said, handing the bathing suit over to the cashier and tossing the wizard's robe in the trash. She was finally in Sabaody. It was now or never.
Time to see if it's all been worth it…
Fuckin' Franky. I should've known.
Nami slumped, defeated by the fact that not once, not even one time, on the entirety of their stay with Keimi, had Luffy said ANYTHING about her appearance.
She was defeated. But not surprised.
She stared into the tank of fish, resisting the urge to go on an 'It's not fair' rant within her own mind and adjusting the strap to her bathing suit. She definitely wasn't wearing this for comfort. She felt like she was busting out all over...
"Hey," Luffy grinned, walking into the room and lifting a hand with a tea cup up to offer her. "Sanji said he'd send it down, but I was comin' down anyway, so…"
"Thanks," she muttered, still bitter at him for being so oblivious. He sipped his own and plopped down next to her, staring at the fish.
They sat in silence for a minute before she decided to let herself crack a little.
"Luffy…do you…like my hair?"
"Hm?"
"You know…my hair? It's longer? Lustrous? Curly? Fucking glorious?" Her frustration showed through a little bit on the last one and he blinked, raising an eyebrow.
"Uh…"
"My boobs? They're bigger?"
"…They are?"
"My ass is practically falling out of my jeans?" she seethed desperately.
"Do you need new jeans? Didn't you go shopping on Fishman Island?"
She stared at him, the depth of his naivety making her brain nearly explode with frustration.
I suppose this is to be expected.
She wilted into the cushion and he watched her fade to near nothingness.
"Do you not like my hair?" he said with blunt curiosity, making her eyes widen.
"…What?"
"My hair didn't change much. My boobs didn't get bigger either." He was completely serious. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. This was too much.
And then, as if he'd come down from some mountain to bestow his simple minded wisdom upon her, he pulled out a softly toned, "Does it matter?"
Her brain's light bulb burned out. Once again, Luffy had made a point without even trying. It pissed her off. It pissed her off a lot.
"No," she sighed. "I guess not."
"Everyone changed a lot. But I don't really care," he said quietly, grabbing her un-touched cup and sipping before it got cold. "I'm just glad we're all together again."
You're so…
She watched him drink, watched him offer her own cup back to her, watched him watch her close her mouth over the same spot he'd just drunk from.
"It's good, huh," he said, smiling.
You're perfect.
"Mm. It's good."
Sorry, Haredas…guys…
"What if I was bald? Would you notice then?"
"You'd look funny," he giggled, taking the cup from her hands and sipping again.
"But you'd still like me?"
He blinked.
"Of course. Your hair doesn't make you Nami."
Dokin.
I lied. I really, really lied. And I'm an idiot. I'm a big idiot.
"And my boobs?"
"Why do you keep talking about your boobs…"
I had nearly forgotten why I'm in love with this man.