I kneeled by the gravestone. I still couldn't believe she was gone. We were supposed to be together forever. No matter what. "Well I guess forever is shorter than I thought," I muttered bitterly. I thought about her. Her beautiful smile, the one that was only for me. Her blond hair that I would never see again, never run my fingers through again. The way she would call my name, whether in pleasure or just everyday. Her amazing laugh that never failed to send shivers up and down my spine. I felt a tear slip down my cheek, but I wiped it away quickly. She wouldn't want me to cry.

The shooter is so very lucky that Puck pulled me off of him. The second I saw her collapse after the gun went off I was on top of him. Clawing, punching, biting, kicking, whatever I could do to hurt him. Like he hurt her. Puck pulled me off before I could kill him thought, the bastard.

After he set me down, I was by her side. Her pulse was weak and her breathing shallow. I hugged her to my chest and sobbed into her hair. She wrapped her arms around me and tried to pull me closer with whatever strength she had. I just sobbed harder and kissed the top of her head. She pulled back a bit and kissed me weakly on the lips.

I kissed back desperately for a few seconds before she pulled back. She had tears flowing down her cheeks, but they weren't from physical pain. No, these were from heartbreak. She whispered, "I love you so much San, always remember that."

I just pulled her back to me and whispered 'I love you' over and over into her hair.

She died in my arms that night. All because some motherfucking son of a bitch decided that he was going to shoot some random people in the street.

I was brought out of my thoughts by someone standing beside me. It was Rachel and she had tear stains on her cheeks. She stared intensely at the ground.

"You really loved her didn't you Santana?" she whispered.

"Yes…" I croaked hating how broken my voice sounded.

"It'll be ok San," she whispered looking at me.

"NO! No it won't be! She was my life! My reason for living! And now she's gone and it's all my fault!" I shouted the tears I had been holding back suddenly flowing down my face. I collapsed on the ground and Rachel just kneeled down next to me and held me while I cried. She whispered to me "Santana Maria Lopez. Do not ever think that this is your fault. The only person at fault is that selfish bag of horse shit who shot her. He is the one to blame, not you."

"But it is my fault Rachel! I should have protected her better…I should have seen him… or jumped in front of her or something! Why did it have to be her Rachel?"

"I don't know San, but all we can do now is remember her and try to move on with our lives. I know she would have wanted you to move on."

Her phone vibrated and I heard her texting someone. She stopped, stood up, then helped me stand up. She pulled me into a hug.

"We have to go now San, it's almost six and Quinn is waiting for us…"

I just nodded and motioned for her to walk ahead a little. I turned toward the grave and whispered, "I love you Brittany, forever and always."

I looked out my window and saw them walking towards me. They got into the car and we drove to my house. Once we got up to my room it started raining.

"How fucking cliché." Santana mumbled. I just hummed in agreement and Rachel nodded. Santana sat down on my floor and reached into her bag, pulling out a bottle of vodka. Rachel stared wide-eyed as Santana took a large gulp, then winced as the liquid burned down her throat.

"What the fuck are you staring at Hobbit?" even though we had all been friends for about a year, Santana still called Rachel hobbit and smurfette. Affectionately of course though.

"N-nothing San," Rachel stuttered.

"Yeah that's what I thought," Santana replied.

I was silent throughout the whole exchange. I hadn't said one work since I heard the news. Only communicating through text and writing. I had stopped talking once I had realized that Brittany really wasn't ever coming back.

She always made me smile, no matter what. She had that effect on everyone. She would bounce into a room and everyone's face would light up. I'd even seen Karofsky smiling a couple times after she had walked in. I still remember everyone's reaction when they heard the news.

Puck sat stone-faced next to Santana, who just looked empty. Like the life was just gone from her. Finn refused to believe t and kicked a couple chairs before yelling at to stop lying to him. Rachel, Tina, and Quinn just huddled together and cried, jumping every time Finn would smash something. Mike and Sam had tears running down their faces as they held Finn back from breaking anything else. Artie just left the room, but everyone heard him scream out even after the door had closed.

Kurt collapsed on the floor sobbing, Lauren picked him up and sat next to him, silent tears falling from her eyes. just looked at them all with watery eyes before turning to Brad who was wiping his eyes with a tissue.

AN: ok so continue? I felt so bad writing this because I love Brittany with all of my heart and I hate it when she dies in fics. The title is from "Ghost of You" by MCR

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or "Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance