**Wherein someone loses their sh*t. Trigger warning for the f-bomb... For those triggered people out there… that aren't reading this story or are because they were looking for 'mature' stuff- I just wanted to put this message okay just scroll down already**
Handsome Jack shrieked in laughter, slapping his knee. "HA! HaHAhaHAha- That's great- haHaaaaa- Good one, handsome- ahhhhhhh-"
"I'm being serious Jack."
"You mean Handsome Jack, kiddo, haHA" he corrected, still thinking it was a joke.
"No, I meant Jack. And I meant every word that I said just now too."
"HAA! HAhahaha… heh…" the CEO slowly came down from his laughing fit as he entertained the idea. "Okay, that was good-"
"It's not a joke-"
"You can stop now-"
"RAAGH-"
"That wasn't very me of me, me."
"That's it." His doppleganger turned away from him. "Good-bye Jack. I'm gone." He started to back down the long hallway.
Handsome Jack's jaw dropped at the man's turned back. "Where the hell are you going?" he finally snapped.
"Exactly where I said I was going. Away. Away from you, and the narcissistic asshole that you are. Away from this station, from Elpis, from Pandora. Away from all the shit you've had me do here. Away… just away."
"That's poetic."
"You are- you can kiss my ass, you bastard." Jack slammed his hand onto the wall, calling the elevator.
"I'm gonna give you a heads up, alright?" Handsome Jack warned. "This is called 'taking things too far'." Jack ignored him, "If you take this any further, we're going to have to have a lesson… about self-control… and manners," he continued to ignore him, "... and possibly something about fingers."
Jack scoffed. "Keep thinking that asshole."
"Hey-" the elevator door opened to them, and Jack walked in. "Angel!? Angel- cut the damn elevator."
There was a pause, then a, "On it, sir," echoed through the room, and the elevator powered down.
"Now that I've got your undivided attention," Handsome Jack hissed, trapping his doppelganger inside, "let me make one thing clear. You… are not… going…. Anywhere."
"You can go fuck yourself," his counterpart growled just as savagely.
"Let's go over a few reasons why, shall we? First, you… are mine. You… are my property."
"Fuck if I am-"
"You signed papers-"
"Forgeries. I never signed anything. I got a call for an interview- I walk in the door- the next thing I know they've got me strapped to a table- the next time I open my eyes I have a different body- a different voice-" he inhaled sharply, his entire body shaking with rage. "-my entire life was taken away from me- my family was taken away from me… and I'm suddenly supposed to impersonate some guy that so happened to be an egotistical maniac-"
"Hurtful," Handsome Jack responded drily.
"There were no papers. There were no contracts. There was only you and that surgeon violating my rights and-"
"Oh, boo-hoo. Guess what, babe? It's survival of the fittest. If you weren't dumb enough to walk into that office-"
"That wasn't me being dumb! That was me trying to survive because of another one of these major corporations screwed me over- put me into debt that I couldn't even hope to climb out of-"
"That makes your point how exactly?"
"It was a goddamn advertisement! Fill in an application, then more info when a meeting is scheduled, not walk in, get a new face, and get forced into impersonating an insufferable piece of shit-"
"You're just strengthening my argument, pumpkin. You let yourself get screwed over. Now you hafta deal with the consequences Jacky-"
"My name," the false twin stalked up in the former's face, his gaze pure venom, "is not Jack." The man rolled his shoulders back and leaned in, making their foreheads almost touch. "My name is Timothy Lawrence, and I never was, and never will be, you… Johnny."
Johnny, Handsome Jack thought, the lids of his sightless eye twitching once.
Cute.
The doppelganger took out a shining Jakobs pistol, and placed it on the side of Jack's forehead. "Now… you're going to get out of my way… or I'll blow your goddamn head off."
Handsome Jack smiled, almost sadly, and took two steps backwards, still in the doppelganger's path. "Timmy… Sorry, kiddo, but you're just wrong. Start the fireworks Angel."
"...Executing phaseshift."
The door of the elevator snapped shut, only just trapping Timothy in. Then, the walls sparked, and the inside of the container lit up as bolts of electricity erupted from the walls. They grabbed and clung to Timothy, easily draining his shields. They gave out mere a second later, and there was a muffled shriek of pain as he the bolts ran across his body, frying him.
The CEO watched in fascination as his double cried out, coming to his knees at the center of the prison. A few seconds later the torture ended, and the doors hissed open, smoking slightly.
Handsome Jack knelt down, amused at the trembling body. Jack wasn't even that injured- the shock had just jumbled his system a bit. He'd probably be fine in a few minutes.
"Aw. Did that hurt?" He smiled. "There is a lot more where that came from, handsome, so I suggest that you don't test your luck. Now… I'm going to be crystal clear with you, and you're going to listen. There will be a test afterwards, and I'm going to expect you to ace it. Got it? Good. Now, first thing's first. You are property of Hyperion. Boil that down… and that basically means you're my bitch. You do what I want, how I want, and when I want you to do it. Otherwise… this here?" He gestured to the elevator's smoking walls. "This will be the least of your worries. Second. Never say that your name is Timothy Lawrence again. It's lame. It's stupid. It makes me think of some pitiful college kid that has money issues. Following that up, third: you are always me. You do whatever I do. This shit you just pulled? You don't do it. Oh, and also, stop saying 'fuck' so much. I know, it's a wonderful word but… You got to reserve that word for the right times, you know? Or you'll just sound… like a… uh… damn, how did that rich bitch put it?... a bloody inferior? Pfft, whatever, you get the point, right?"
Timothy slowly looked up at him, panting. They made eye contact, and he snarled, "Fuck you in the ass, you fucked-up jackhole!"
"Hm. Angel?"
The doors hissed shut again, and blue light flashed within once again. This time, Jack chuckled at the pained howling.
When the doors opened again, the doppelganger was steaming.
"Care to input a correct answer?"
"You motherfu-"
"Angel?"
"NNNRRRNNNRRRNNNNAAAACCKK-NAAAA-"
"God, he isn't good at answering questions, doncha think?"
Angel didn't answer him.
"No wonder he had trouble with college… Angel?"
….
"...Yes... sir?"
"What were this guy's grades in college?"
"His GPA was around 3.7," she responded immediately.
"Huh." The doors slid back open, revealing a slightly charred Jack. He was on his back now, staring at the ceiling. His hands were twitching on top of his torso.
"Huh. That's weird," Handsome Jack mused, fascinated by the expression- his expression- on his twin's face. It was pained, yes, but there was that dumb determined look on it. "...This is sorta reminding me of my childhood…" he mused, "...and my Grandmother, bless her soul... You've asked me about that before, right?" Frowning, he walked into the container, further examining the strange sight. "Well, let me tell you. She could torture someone like you could not believe… I'd rather be stung a few times then face Buzzer, because that thing… that thing hurt. I need to toughen you up a bit don't I? Maybe I should just take you down to visit ol' Gran-Gran… egh. Nevermind. I'm not cruel."
"Hu-hurgh."
"Look, I hate seeing such a handsome face in torment. Just answer the questions correctly, and it will all be over. Mostly… Who are you?"
"Handsome… Jack…" he finally rasped out.
"Who do you belong to?"
"...Hyperion…."
"And who is Hyperion?"
"...You… The fuckwad that has done nothing but compensate for the entirety of his life!"
Handsome Jack rolled his eyes and walked out of the elevator.
"-Who runs the stupid ass company of who-will-ever-give-a-fucking-shit?!"
"Angel," he requested once more, only slightly annoyed. "Work your magic."
Without a word, the doors shut, and electricity was turned back on. This time, however, was different. Within the few seconds of blue light, there was a BOOM as a shockwave rocked the walls, stopping the electricity almost immediately. There was a pause, and then- BOOM- BOOOOM! The elevator walls cracked, and the glass shattered.
Handsome Jack grit his teeth, and backed away.
"Angel," he growled, "get the turrets-" His eyes widened as Timothy Lawrence strode proudly out of the smoke, a cherry red rocket launcher on his shoulder. "Bots- get me some bots!"
He watched as death aimed at him, it's smirk identical to the one he himself had been wearing just seconds before. It's face the exact same as his. He saw it yell at him, shift his shoulders back- and flinch as bullets dug into his shield. Jack used his saving grace run back towards his desk, typing in a command in his gauntlet that made the barrier snap up. By the time he turned back around, Timothy Lawrence was already halfway to him, two of the four turrets already in ruins.
I'm going to strangle the person who bought these cheap-ass turrets, he thought grimly as a third one exploded.
"HEY JACKASS!" Timothy shouted, pissed as hell. "You thought that I'd let you-" he hefted up the launcher, turning to the other wall, "-just do that to me?! HUH?" He fired, and the last turret was destroyed by the blue rocket. "You made me look like you-" he turned to the barrier, "-you made me act like you-" he fired, and the barrier rippled, absorbing the explosion, "-you made me a monster-" again he fired, and the barrier absorbed the rocket again, groaning at the impact, "-but you also made me-" he fired, WAARRP, "-a fucking-" WAARRAARRP, "VAULT HUNTER!" He smacked the side of the launcher, and it hurdled off his shoulder. It crashed into the barrier, making it spark, then fizzle out.
Shit. I'm putting a ban on Teodore weapons… and I'll design a better barrier- I'll design a friggin' DEATH wall.
"I won't take this shit from you!" Timothy continued, drawing out a silver shotgun. "I won't just let you walk all over me-"
"ANGEL!-"
Wrrlll. "First Law… Disabled."
The doppelganger was suddenly surrounded by Hyperion loaders, two GUN, two BUL, and one blue one of a new design- the ION Loader. Without hesitation, he turned and fired, his shotgun dismantling a GUN Loader easily, and then do the same to the BUL Loader next to it. He fired again at the blue bot, only to have it sucked in by the shield it created. He hissed in frustration, and ran inside, only for the ION Loader to shock him with a steady beam of electricity, and the remaining BUL Loader to ram him, finally breaking his shield. As he stumbled backwards, his nova shield sent out another three blasts, shoving the BUL Loader off of him, making the legs fly off of the last GUN Loader, and causing the ION Loader to stumble, disrupting the shield.
"You know what the funny part is?" he was shouting. "I was made to be you- to act like you- but in the end, you'll always just try to be like me! I was the guy that saved Helios, John! I was the one that killed the Sentinel! Not you- ME!"
"GET ME A GODDAMN CONSTRUCTOR, ANGEL!" Jack yelled as he witnessed his body double take out the prototype and the downed Gun Loader behind it with one shot. The BUL Loader behind it shrieked as he shot it with the last of his ammo.
"I'm working on it-"
Timothy didn't even bother to reload. His shotgun just vanished from his hands as he smashed the sides of his fists together, twin lasers bursting from his wrist.
Handsome Jack followed the same trail of thought, raising his left arm and firing his own laser. The bigger, stronger beam intercepted Timothy's with a giant flash of light. A huge crackling sphere of electricity formed at the center, sparking a white contrast between the lighter and darker blue lasers.
"Ohmigod," Jack heard himself slip, "Itsjuslikethosestupidwizardbooks."
This enraged Timothy even further.
"HARRY POTTER ISN'T STUPID YOU COMPLETE ASSHOLE!"
Timothy ducked out of the way as his own laser sputtered out. In the milliseconds that Handsome Jack still fired where he used to be, Timothy ran on top of his desk, jumped, and butt-slammed, causing a wave of frost to spread across the room.
Handsome Jack quite literally froze on the spot, ice rapidly crawling up and into his body, stilling his blood- his heart. It only slowed down when it reached his shoulders; only stopped when it scraped its way through his scalp and dipped an jagged claw onto his brow- under his mask.
He knew it was painful. But he didn't feel any pain.
His doppelganger stood up from where he landed, and took out his pistol. "It's the end of the line, you fucked up son of a bitch," he declared, shoving it onto his forehead, which Jack did manage to feel.
"Hrckhrckhrck-"
The sound made Timothy grin ferally as he soaked in his victory. Then a few seconds passed, and Jack's blood began to flow again- his heart pound again. The pressure released on his chest, and Jack's compressed lungs began to shudder.
"Hackha-aha" he let out, "-aha-aha-hahahahahahahahahahaha-"
Timothy's smile faded away.
"Why... Why the hell are you LAUGHING!?" he screamed in the dictator's face, spit landing in Jack's fake right eye. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING!? YOU LOST! I'M ABOUT TO KILL YOU! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!?"
"HahaHahaHaHaaaaaaaaa-"
"JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT-"
"Oh, the irony! The IRONY! HAHA- I learned about this sort of thing in English class-"
Timothy shuddered, his eyes widening. "You- you lunatic- you-"
"I mean, it works in two ways, right? There's the fact that I'm killing myself, you know, since you're me. That part's obvious… and the other part should be too… but you don't seem to be seeing it yet. That's- ha- that's as funny as hell."
A silence fell between the two of them. The twins shared one hateful look.
"And what's the other part?" Timothy finally hissed out.
"Heh, you can't guess kiddo? You kill me, your sweet little family on Isolus dies." Timothy let out a small gasp. "...along with the rest of the planet. Yeah… now you're getting it-"
"You- you're desperate. You're hanging by a thread-"
"Aaand you're getting colder." Jack scoffed. "Fine. You don't believe me? Hey Angel, sweetheart, confirm that there are three nukes pointed at Isolus."
"Jack is telling the truth," she said immediately.
"See!?" he said gleefully at his horror-stricken face. "Toldja so!"
Timothy was backing away, oblivious to the fact that the ice on Handsome Jack's legs were finally thawing. He was stammering to himself, scared and lost.
"Aw man," Jack said with the utmost sympathy, wiggling his numb fingers, "Did I hurt your feelings?"
The man shuddered. "If I leave here," Timothy finally exhaled, "will you let them be?"
"Sure pumpkin," the CEO soothed, shaking some feeling back into his arms.
"How the hell can I trust you?"
"'Cause I'm Handsome Jack bab-"
"You have my word," Angel cut in. Timothy nodded at that, the AI being the best he could do at the moment.
Jack was immediately annoyed with her speaking out. "It's not like you'll be leaving anytime soon though," he hissed threateningly, taking a small step towards him.
At that, Timothy just seemed to smile sadly. Then he ran, past the desk, past the nearly-mobile Jack, and clapped his hands at the window. A BANG like a the firing of a shotgun rang out, and the spread of laser fire clashed against the glass, destroying the barrier, and fracturing what was underneath. Timothy clapped again, and the cracks grew bigger, spiraling and connecting with other cracks. A warning klaxon started to echo around the room, but it was cut off abruptly as the doppelganger hurled himself at the window- shattering glass and flying into the void.
He was gone instantly, leaving Handsome Jack to worry about the vacuum now sucking him out to space. He hit lower edge of the pane with a loud thud- or what would've been a loud thud if it weren't for the whistling in his ears. Angel, he tried to cry out, but sound didn't seem to leave his lips. He sent his office a frantic look, then zeroed in on his desk. He struggled with his numb arms, aiming his wrist blasters, then firing, cutting the top half away from its bolted down foundation. The disconnected flat surface hurdled at the hole, then smashed into it. Miraculously, the glass fractured more, yet held. Jack face planted to the floor, then righted himself, backing away from the window. More cracks were cutting their way through the glass- quicker by the second- and the entirety of the window shattered and emptied out into space.
Jack flinched, expecting to get sucked out. A few moments passed, and he realized that he was not weightless in space, but still standing in the disaster that was now his office. His focus fell on his daughter, who stood in front of him, her arms held out to the gaping hole, white wings splayed wide behind her.
She looked absolutely beautiful, Jack noted.
The whole of the back wall was covered in a vibrant purple barrier, which was probably the reason her father wasn't a floating popsicle right about now. Too slowly, Hyperion protocol was initiated, yellow plates of metal digistructing themselves one by one across the broken back wall. Jack watched silently for the two minutes it took for the metal plates to finally connect at the center, sealing the breach. Angel wavered, and her translucent barrier fell away. She dropped her arms down to her side, and her heavenly wings dissipated.
"My God," Jack breathed, taking a step forward. He stared at his daughter for a second, then embraced her tightly. The hug kept each other from falling to the floor.
"Good job, baby," he murmured in her ear, before kissing her cheek. "Good, good job."
She let out a stuttering breath, and squeezed his frost-covered waist back. Eventually, she pulled away.
"There are teams out looking for Timothy now," she reassured him. Jack hummed a little, swayed a little. There was a wet spot on his cheek.
She opened her mouth to say something more, but Jack cut her off, not even realizing he was interrupting her.
"That's very good. We'll find that goddamn bastard… and we'll make him suffer. But right now," he took her cold, pale hands in his, and hissed out, "let's make Isolus burn."
Angel's eyes widened at his bloodlust, and she took a step away from her father. Her hands fell out of his grip.
"No," she found herself whispering.
"No?" he repeated softly, confused. "Whaddaya mean... 'no'?"
"I gave him my word… dad," she said brokenly. Even if she'd wanted to, she probably wouldn't even have the energy to reach across the entire Dios system and command the nukes to activate.
"No," he said again. He nodded once, then said, "Go to your room."
She stifled a whimper, and held back the water in her eyes. The eighteen-year-old obeyed her father, her dragging heels echoing on the walls.
Jack waited a few moments for her to finally exit before taking out his Echo. He called a very familiar number.
There was a few moments of static, then a southern accent rang in his ears:
"Hey handsome," the voice drawled, the 'handsome' dripping with the filthiest intentions. "It's been a month since your last call. You always keep your women waiting this long?"
"Hey Nisha," he responded, already starting to cheer up. "I need to ask a favor- hell, I need a couple of favors actually-"
"I'm all yours."